Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions

The Awards Show
01-20-2014


This Ain't Over


A camera comes up backstage, Bandidos posted at each side of a specific door. Lucious Starr is seen walking by, his ear patched up from a confrontation earlier in the night. He walks past the Bandidos, stops, and eyes them up and down. One of them pulls a bat and grins.

Bandido 1: Got a problem, Shadow?

Lucious grits his teeth, balling a fist. The second Bandido pulls a crowbar, Lucious eyeing both men. He takes a moment, staring the first straight in the eye.

Lucious Starr: Call me Shadow. One... more... time...

The Bandidos raise their weapons, ready to swing. Lucious pulls his silver-plated Desert Eagle and points it at the one with the crowbar while throwing a boot to the one with the bat. The first Bandido falls, clutching his shin while the other is unsure what to do about the gun in his face.

Lucious Starr: I have no problem with you runts. You'll be wise to keep it that way. As far as your boss, tell him... tell him Lucy says back the hell off.

With that, Lucy fires a warning shot past the second Bandidos' ear. The shock causes him to drop his crowbar, Lucious holstering his weapon and walking off.

Bandido 2: IF the boss allows it, you'll live to regret that, Shadow.

Lucious stops, turns on a dime, and grins sickly. The first Bandido lurches forward, but Lucious jumps up over the spear attempt and nails a clothesline to the second Bandido. He lays in with a flurry of punches as the first one grabs his bat, cracking it over Lucy's shoulder. Lucious cringes, falling back for a moment. The Bandido raises his bat again, but is met with a double shin kick from Lucy. He drops like a sack of potatoes, Lucious slowly to his feet again, minding his shoulder.

Lucious Starr: Fuckers... better believe... this ain't over...

Lucious spits on the Bandidos, walking off to his locker room.

Welcome to RAMPAGE!!!

Ted Reeve Community Arena - 175 Main Street, Toronto, Ontario, Canada


"I never knew that a kid like me
Could take his mic around the world and flash the big S.D.
And rock the masses, from Madrid to Calabassas
Tijuana, Mexico, bootleg demos in Tokyo..."

The scene opens to Eli Storm sitting behind his desk at Incredible Inc. On his desk sits the contracts of Matthew Engel, Simon Kalis...Storm pushes the camera away before it could see the last contract. The scene switches to Grizzly Beer Champion, Johnny Maverick, who is slowly shining his newly won gold.

“They know me though, 'cause I be puttin' in work
Commit my life to rebirth, well respected, 'cause that's my word
I'm sure you heard, about a new sound going around
She might have left my hood, but she was born in my town"

The scene then switches to PWA IC Champion, Teddy Alexander. The scene then switches to Hunter Sullivan who is waiting for Viktor Stone to turn around before nailing the Viper Snap. Hunter smiles as Stone hit the mat.

"You didn't know, thought we was new on the scene
Well, it's alright! It's alright!
I know you know, I see you smiling at me
Well, it's alright! It's alright!"

The scene switches to Shawn O'Reilly getting forcefully getting removed from a fan fest, shouting and screaming at anyone who will listen to him. The cameras come up on the PWA Tag Team Champions, Gunnar and Cody. Bodie Vera Cruz, is shown posing with the American flag. Sprinkles seem to be falling around him.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South"

Sykopath is seen in the gym, surrounded in a circle of watermelons. As a bell rings he grabs a handful of forks and flings them with amazing speed towards the mid regions (nutts and berries) of the watermelons. Luscious Starr is seen staring at a picture of the PWA Heavyweight Champion. Focused on getting it back.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
How you like me now?"

The scene now changes to a beautiful field full of daises. Spread out within the daisies ad plant pots in shape of dodos. Anna Matthews is seen with Pedro, playing dress up. While Bubba J poses with the PWA World Heavyweight Title. As the cameras zoom in.

"Is that all you got?
I'll take your best shot."

The scene now switched to the announcer table where McDaniel and Rentfro are ready to get started. Before they do snow begins to fall in the arena, and festive holiday music begins to play. Through the entrance way comes Santa. He ambles down the ramp, 'HO HO HO'ING', waving to the fans and handing out candy to the kids. Over his shoulder is a big bag.

Jon McDaniel: Welcome to the Ted Reeve Community Arena for another action packed Rampage. I am your host, Jon McDaniels and to my side is...

Brian Rentfro: The reason why your mother brings a extra pair of thongs to any PWA event...Brian Rentfro.

Jon McDaniel: So we are doing this again?

Brian Rentfro: No...we aren't doing this again...ok maybe we are.

Jon McDaniel: You know you disgust me as a human being.

Brian Rentfro: I know...it is the highlight of my night to disrespect your prudish ways.

Jon just sighs as we go backstage.

A Starr...or an Empire!?!


Backstage, we find Simon Kalis smoking a cigar while talking to... who the hell cares, it's Simon fucking Kalis so it really doesn't matter what lowly peasant he happens to be talking to at the moment. In any case, he has his army of Ugandan warriors surrounding him as he speaks all standing guard.

Simon Kalis: You may as well schedule the appearance with Bill O’Reilly sometime later this week. I’ll fit him into my schedule then.

Voice: AARON!!

From somewhere off the side, a loud crackle is heard as Lucious Starr barrels through the guards, a tranq gun in each hand. As he reaches Kalis, he drops the tranqs and pulls a silver plated Desert Eagle from his back, pointing it directly at Kalis' head.

Lucious Starr: Gimme one fucking reason, Aaron. One FUCKING GOOD REASON!!

Kalis grins, taking a puff of his cigar. The other person walks off, unsure of what's going to happen next. Kalis shakes his head, shrugging.

Simon Kalis: Pull the fucking trigger. Seriously, do it.

Lucious Starr: You honestly still think I won't??

Simon laughs, waving off the few of his bodyguard who are coming to.

Simon Kalis: You didn't have the nerve before. And frankly, that was when you were a bigger man. So you tell me, Lucy. ARE you going to pull the trigger? Or is this another veiled threat that shall go unfinished??

Lucious stares deep into Simon's eyes, for a moment his finger quivers. Simon retains his unwavering ease as Lucious takes a deep breath, still never dropping his hand.

Lucious Starr: I had my moment, Aaron. I had my time. And I spared your life ONLY for Brian's sake. I swear to God, Kalis, swear to fucking GOD that if Engel doesn't end you, this thing WILL be unloaded into your damn skull. And not a damn court in the states will convict my ass, either.

Simon Kalis: What a surprise. Lucy can't finish the job. It's too bad, really; I was kind of hoping you'd do it. Figure, maybe if Lucy puts me down, the legacy of Lucious Starr ends with "He Was a Coward Whose Only Stand Was against the Man Who Made Him"...

Lucious scoffs, throwing a right directly to the bridge of Kalis' nose. Kalis falls back but a step, a grin.

Simon Kalis: What do you know? The kid actually has a pair! Not a big one, mind you, but...

Lucious Starr: SHUT. THE FUCK. UP, AARON. I'm DONE with you. I'm stepping aside to let Engel finish you off while I kick your father-in-law square in his two inch dick. Once I've put him down like a useless horse, I'm coming for you.

Simon laughs as Lucious retreats, sliding the Eagle into its holster at his back. Simon quickly throws an arm forward and a spring loaded pistol pops out from his sleeve, he immediately fires a single shot. Starr yells out as he grabs his head and stumbles forward. Starr turns around with an incredulous look on his face as Simon calls out.

Simon Kalis: Believe me when I say I didn’t miss. And the next time you walk into my office with a weapon, I’ll send you back to Ohio in a million pieces you cunt.

Starr looks at the blood on his hand, and feels around for the missing part of his ear and walks off.

Simon Kalis: Keep an eye on him. And if he so much as walks within ten feet of my office door, put your spear through his throat. It’s high time these people realize I’m not a wrestler, I’m a God damn empire....

Fade to black...

Karter Kash vs Sykopath

Singles Match


Jon McDaniel: Let's go up to the ring for our opening match, the debuting Karter Kash against Sykopath.

Brian Rentfro: You envy Karter? Me neither.

The arena lights darken.

Gunten glieben glauten globen

Pretty Fly for a White Guy by The Offspring plays as Karter Kash pops out through the entrance way.

Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
And all the girlies say, "I'm pretty fly for a white guy"

Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, cinco, seis

You know it's kind of hard
Just to get along today
Our subject isn't cool
But he fakes it anyway
He may not have a clue
And he may not have style
But everything he lacks
Well, he makes up in denial

Karter comes out dressed in his Bermuda shorts a muscle t-shirt and sneakers with shades on. He strolls down towards the ring with a large smile on his face.

So don't debate, a player straight
You know, he really doesn't get it anyway
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know, you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabe's so, hey hey
Do that brand new thing

Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
And all the girlies say, "I'm pretty fly for a white guy"

He slides under the bottom rope and stands in the center admiring himself.

Now he's getting a tattoo, yeah
He's gettin' ink done
He asked for a 13
But they drew a 31
Friends say he's trying too hard
And he's not quite hip
But in his own mind
He's the, he's the dopest trip

Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Give it to me baby
Uh-huh, uh-huh
Uno, dos, tres, quatro, cinco, cinco, seis

So don't debate, a player straight
You know he really doesn't get it anyway
He's gonna play the field, and keep it real
For you no way, for you no way
So if you don't rate, just overcompensate
At least you'll know you can always go on Ricki Lake
The world needs wannabe's so
The world loves wannabe's so
So let's get some more wannabe's and hey hey
Do that brand new thing!

Eric Emerson: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...THIS IS YOUR OPENING CONTEST ON MONDAY NIGHT RAMPAGE!
INTRODUCING FIRST...HE WEIGHS IN AT 265 POUNDS...HE HAILS FROM TAMPA, FLORIDA...HE IS KARTER KASH!!!

The lights in the arena go dark.

The sound of fires burning and a bell gonging hail the beginning of 'Shepherd of Fire' by Avenged Sevenfold.

The guitar driven opening plays and fire shoots from the entranceway as Sykopath makes his way to the ring.

Lets take a moment and break the ice
So my intentions are known
See I pity in watching you suffer
I know the feeling of feeling of being damned
alone
I have a storybook of my own

Don't you see I am your pride
Agent of will
Bearer of needs
And you know what's right
I am your war
Arming the strong
Aiding the weak
Know me by name
Shepherd of fire

He is dressed in a black priests robe. when he gets to the ringsteps, he removes the robe. He is wearing black fatigues, a black wifebeater, and black combat boots His hair is in all cornrows. His arms are taped from elbow to knuckles with black tape.

Well I can promise you paradise
No need to serve on your knees
And when you're lost in the darkest of hours
Take a moment and tell me who you see
Wont tell ya who not to be

Now you know I am your pride
Agent of wealth
Bearer of needs
And you know what's right
I am your war
Arming the strong
Aiding the weak
Know me by name
Shepherd of fire

He enters the ring, comes to the center of the ring and kneels in prayer.

Disciple of the cross and champion in the suffering
Immerse yourself into the kingdom of redemption
Pardon your mind through the chains of the divine
Make way for the shepherd of fire

Through the ages of time
I've been known for my hate
But I'm a dealer of simple choices
For me it's never too late

Eric Emerson’s announcement:
WEIGHING IN AT 265 POUNDS….ORIGINALLY FROM CITE’ SOLEIL, PORT AU PRINCE, HAITI….BUT NOW RESIDING IN THE DARKEST CORNERS OF INSANITY…..THIS…IS…SYKOPATH!

I am your pride
Agent of wealth
Bearer of needs (And you know it's right)
I am your war
Arming the strong
Aiding the weak

I am your wrath
I am your guilt
I am your lust (And you know it's right)
I am your law
I am your stall
I am your trust

Know me by name
Shepherd of fire

Sykopath thows his arms outward, making a cross like pose. He stands makes a gesture similar to the sign of the Cross, then goes to his corner.

Jon McDaniel: What do you think, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: Well, If Sykopath stays true to form, Kash doesn't have to worry about who'll perform Last Rites for him.

DING DING!

Sykopath walks to the center of the ring and kneels down. He throws his arms out, again making a cross pose, with his eyes closed. Kash carefully walks up to Sykopath. He looks around at the crowd. He balls his fists up, and looks to be about to unload on the Haitian.

Jon McDaniel: Careful!

Brian Rentfro: IT'S A TRAP!

A big cheesy grin crosses Karter's face as he raises his fist and prepares to put a beating on Sykopath. A hard right punch to the crotch of Kash from Sykopath brings the newcomer to his knees, where they are now face to face.

Sykopath grins an evil, twisted grin and stands to his feet. He pulls Kash up and put him in position for the Damnation vertebreaker. He slams Karter head and neck first to the mat. Syko makes the sign of the cross, as if administering last rites to young Karter, then covers him as referee Daniel Davis makes the count.

One....

Two....

Three!!!

Eric Emerson: HERE IS YOUR WINNER....SYKOPATH!!!!!

Sykopath rolls off Kash and drags him out of the ring. He reaches into the cargo pockets of his fatigues and pulls out two pairs of handcuffs. He cuffs Kash's wrists to the bottom rope. He then pulls a fork from his pocket and begins to carve into Kash's forehead.

Brian Rentfro: JESUS CHRIST! WHAT A WELCOME TO THE PWA FOR KARTER KASH!

Sykopath steps back from Kash, who is now a bloody mess. He grabs the timekeeper's chair and blasts Kash several times with it. He lays the chair down, then walks over to the unconscious newcomer. He wraps his arms around him. Sykopath looks as if he is weeping as he yells in Kash's ear

Sykopath: JERUSALEM,JERUSALEM, YOU WHO KILL HIS PROPHETS AND STONE THOSE WHOM HE HAS SENT TO YOU! HOW OFTEN I HAVE LONGED TO GATHER YOUR CHILDREN TOGETHER, AS A HEN GATHERS HER CHICKS UNDER HER WINGS,BUT YOU WERE NOT WILLING! BEHOLD NOW ARE YOU LEFT DESOLATE, AND WITHOUT HOPE!

Sykopath releases Kash, and grabs the chair again. He brings the chair down across the head of Kash one last time. Kash slides down as far as the cuffs will allow him to, blood streaming from his head, and dripping on the floor.

Sykopath looks at the chair one last time, then begins to walk away. He stops and looks around at the audience. He begins to yell again.

SykoPath: BEHOLD HE HAS SENT HIS PROPHET BEFORE YOU TO WARN YOU OF THE JUDGEMEN THAT IS NIGH YOU. THAT GREAT AND TERRIBLE DAY OF HIS WRATH HAS COME! HE IS HERE...AND WOE TO THOSE WHO DO NOT BOW BEFORE HIM!

Sykopath begins to walk back towards the entranceway.

Brian Rentfro: Well, I thought this guy couldn't get any creepier when he was the voodoo witch doctor.

Jon McDaniel: Wrong again, huh?

Brian Rentfro: Yep.

Sykopath looks into the camera before walking through the entranceway.

Sykopath: Gunnar Kingsbury....I accept your challenge.....and I will pray for your soul.

Pt 1 Robbery


(1 week ago)
Satire:"Why the hell can't you do it?!"

Silhouetted and buffered through a blurring filter, the black masses move side by side with each other. Detailed explanation becomes impossible, the background even casts down a mesh of brown and blue sections; blobs. Clarity only comes through the familiar voice filter, it's the Satire again. No vignette though, this is something else.

Figure :"People can't know that I had anything to do with it. It jeopardizes everything."

Satire:"So, you're telling me to break into PWA's headquarters, steal a hand-full of essential and important documents out from underneath their noses because you can't get your hands dirty?"

Figure : "Yes."

Satire:"Hmph... And you're saying in order for our plans to come to fruition we need this contract?"

Figure:" It's the only way."

A small pause.

Satire: "....Where do I begin?"
--

January 16th 2014

His name is David; he's got 2 children and a looming divorce. He's about 300 pounds and as about as much chance of catching me than he does onset diabetes, which is to say this isn't my forte'. I feigned my entrance into this building 5 hours ago under some sort of pretend contract signing. I'd be ignorant to think no one has thought to themselves where I went, but it's here In contrast to that thought, hiding in a locker just outside the Summor's funded gym, that I hide still a free man. If waiting in a smelly locker is easy, so far my job has been a breeze.

That was until 1:00am when David began making his run of the gym. I run a nervous glance at my watch, where is it? Rust and sweat stabs my nostrils and fades into my subliminal senses as time adjusts for the raunchy aroma. My breathing starts to speed up, my heart palpitating, it's be almost half an hour. The clink and clank of opening and closing lockers becomes jarring inside the clunky hollow box I find myself in. Apparently lockers are checked for any lost and found items every night which is unfortunate considering my options are dwindling as he works his way down the lane of lime green colored lockers. Images of the most efficient knock-out punches and holds swim through my mind as I prepare for the first casualty of the night.

'BSSST' "Hello David? David are you there buddy?" My eyes dart wickedly out through the vent in the locker, watching as this looming pile of lard lazily pulls out his 'Walky Talky'. "Yeah, just doing a run of the gym." He says pulling open another locker and rummaging through a few belongings."Well, you'll never believe this, but 3 pizza's were just delivered! You best get up here before it's all gone!"
If I wasn't afraid he'd hear me, I'd have let out one relieved sigh. The slack driver barely made it in time, which has me cursing my faith in the minimum wage worker. Evidence is in the pudding as they say, and david's had his fair share, which is why It never hurts to do your research; It's a fact that's carried me through matches galore and flourished my career. That's why before I came here today I decided to visit 'Joe's speedy 24/7 pizza delivery,' and ordered 3 extra large pepperoni pizza's for the staff of tonight's security; paid on the dime of my employer, obviously. Sometimes I think I might be too good at this, other times I count my blessings. The locker room clear, and the security camera possibly unmanned, I pull over my mask and toss up a hood, quietly leaving and heading for the 3rd floor.

I don't meet very much opposition on my way, a few ducks, a couple swift back steps, and the sneaking ability of a rat treat me well. It's too easy actually, so easy in fact I depressingly reminisce about the state of PWA, having to resort to these blubbering cunts for night staff. The uplifting moral support of my creed starts to justify itself as I come across my second hurdle. The door is locked.

*End Scene*

At My Expense


We cut backstage as Matthew "Virus" Engel is arriving into the arena to a mixed, loud crowd reaction. He walks past staff, camera crews, and some upstart talent that the PWA have been scouting out.

Virus: "Ah, fuck it."

Engel walks back towards a camera and points at him, motioning him to come over to him. He drops his bag and rubs his shaved head for a moment.

Virus: "I was going to wait to say something later on tonight, but it just can't fucking wait. What kind of a man is Simon Kalis? There are several words to describe his actions, his words, and everything in between. But I'm fairly biased. I can only see a coward - an old man on his last leg, literally. And he would stand here in front of me and tell me that made him dangerous, if he actually possessed the balls to stand toe to toe with me without pretending he's doing a remake of Game of Thrones."

Engel shakes his head.

Virus: "But he doesn't. He's got his army; he's got Bandido protection, even moreso now that I've had to play a huge card of mine. I'm sure I've got a Bandido watching me closely right now."

Virus motions over his left shoulder and the camera catches a glimpse of a Bandido before he jumps behind a corner.

Virus: "He's got all of this protection and power, but he won't face me man to man. It's a classic evil villain complex, one I'm glad I never fell prey to. Eventually he'll have to jump out from behind the curtain or behind his army to face me. When that day comes, fuck, I promise you all that Simon Kalis will have no doubt who holds the true power between us.

Sure, I could make one phone call and have the Masters back in the PWA again. I could wipe out Simon's organization, leaving the Strader blood out of it, and even the playing field. But I rather enjoy this. I'm enjoying watching the abrupt rise and fall of wrestling's version of Saddam Hussein. The biggest mistake he will have made was forcing me to sign a contract that will only end with him coming up short again for the most prestigious World Championship around and falling to the wayside.

I'll be your Teresa Quaranta. I'll be your Lisa Seldon. I'll be better than you, Simon, and you have will no one left to blame but yourself."

Engel goes to pick up his back and is about to make his move to walk away, but he continues to speak.

Virus: "I suppose I'm ahead of myself. In regards to our forced partnership, I don't really have a choice. After Anna has her way with you tonight and we all see how much of a fluke you are inside that ring, I suppose you'll need to rely on me to get you some much needed wins. Rely on me all you wish; I will show you no loyalty. I have loyalty to the sport and competition; I have loyalty to the standards I have set for myself. I abide by them and they have led me to the promised land more than once. When I step into that ring, Simon, I will do my absolute best to win the match I am in. But, don't think for one second I care about your feelings regarding Matt Stone. That little pissant hasn't been relevant here for a long time. Who the fuck cares? The only reason you're pursuing this is for a title around your waist that you're confident will stick around.

But that's the only title you're getting at my expense."

Engel gives the camera a smirk.

Virus: "And tonight, a new PWA talent tries to get a debut win at my expense as well. Well, rest assured, that just isn't going to happen. I don't know where this guy came from or what he's done, but that isn't going to matter. The PWA will witness some comedy tonight as I do a dance number all over Trey's face. Yeah, that's right buddy. Welcome to Pioneer Wrestling, where assholes with flawless technique and little to no concern about the welfare of others are in abundance.

And you're looking at the top of the food chain."

Engel gives a nod to the camer and finally walks off, cutting back to ringside with Rentfro and McDaniel.

Jon McDaniel: Engel makes a statement here tonight with Simon Kalis. He promises that he won't be World Champion.

Brian Rentfro: Strong words for a guy who was strung up like a puppet two weeks ago.

Jon McDaniel: That's true Brian but Engel obviously has a plan. And tonight he tries to stick to his winning ways against newcomer Trey Willet.

Brian Rentfro: I've heard good things about him, Jon, so it should be a good match.

'Shadow' Starr vs Hank Serbia & Kyle Stevenson

Handicap Match


The lights dim as the sounds of "A Warrior's Call" by Volbeat begin pound the PA speakers. The drums continue as the strobe lights begin to pulsate in time to the song. Then at about the forty second mark a voice calls out...

"Let's get ready to rumble"

Then the song kicks into high gear as the lights come up. Then the man himself comes out from behind the curtain. He stands there and soaks in the reaction from the fans.

Eric Emerson: "From Huntington Beach, California, weighing two hundred twenty five pounds. He is...KYLE STEVENSON!"

He walks down the ramp and shakes a few hands before sliding into the ring. He looks out at the crowd and raises a single arm into the air. He backs up into his corner waiting on the rest of the match's participants. "A Warrior's Call" fading away.

Jon McDaniel: The PWA's Favorite Son had last week off, but you know that he spent all that time brewing over the events of XMas at Ground Zero, waiting for tonight so that he can get his revenge on Lucious Starr.

Brian Rentfro: If he's lucky, he might land a punch.

The stadium falls in to complete darkness as the lights go out and the arena booms with a whistling wind sound.

As the wind stops and nothing is heard but fans cheering, the lights flash back on and "Blow Me Away" by Breaking Benjamin starts blaring through the speakers.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen...on his way to the ring standing six feet four inches tall, weighing in at two hundred and fourty-five pounds, from Rochester, New York...HANK SERBIA!

As the crowd erupts in cheers the curtain is pulled back and out comes Hank Serbia with his head down.

"After the fall
We'll shake it off
Show me the way"

Hank jerks his head up with a look of ruthless aggression on his face and pyro erupts on the stage.

"Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all!"

As Hank approaches the ring with his eyes focused solely on the ring, the fans start reaching out and slapping him on the shoulder while cheering him on down to the ring.

"Fire your guns, it's time to run, blow me away
I will stay unless I may
After the fall, we'll shake it off
Show me the way!"

Hank leaps on the apron and pyro bursts out of all four turnbuckles.

"Only the strongest will survive
Lead me to heaven when we die
I am the shadow on the wall
I'll be the one to save us all"

As the fans continue cheering, Hank hurries through the middle rope, backs into a corner and starts cracking his knuckles as well as his neck awaiting his opponent.

Jon McDaniel: It's been years since the AOWF has seen Hank Serbia, it will be interesting to see what he brings to the ring tonight.

Brian Rentfro: Scott Nash Strader is really taking a risk here; I don't care for Kyle Stevenson, but teaming him with Hank Serbia? Come on! Even I'm not that much of a masochist!

Red and violet lights shine around the arena, falling at the center of the entrance ramp. Cee Lo Green’s Fuck You hits the arena, as white fireworks light the ramp. Lucious Starr emerges to a mix of cheers and boos, throwing up both hands- which are flicking off all in attendance. Lucious slowly makes his way down the ramp, playing to the fans as he almost dances his way down.

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
If I was richer,
I'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!

Eric Emerson: Making his way to the ring, from Akron Ohio!

Lucious stops mid ramp, gyrating to the tune. He points to either side of the ramp, a few female fans cheering while a few are totally not buying it, Lucious blowing a kiss to a nearby female fan.

I'm sorry
I can't afford a ferrari,
But that don't mean I can't get you there.
I guess he's an Xbox
I'm more an Atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

Eric Emerson: Weighing in at two hundred and sixty-three pounds...

Lucious continues down the ramp, eyeing the ring as he descends.

I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

Eric Emerson: He is the Untamed Fury...

Lucious circles the ring, stopping by the announce table. He salutes the announce team, then turns to leap onto the ring apron. He waves to the crowd, taking in the mixed reaction as his intro continues.

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!
If I was richer,
I'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!

Lucious slides in between the top and middle ropes, climbing the nearest turnbuckle.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, he is Shadow--!

Lucious jumps down from the rope and slaps the microphone out of Emerson's hand for calling him by the moniker he hates so much.

Now I know
That I had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya
Trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with your ass ain't cheap

Lucious flips the bird at Eric Emerson and backs into his corner, waiting for the match to begin.

Brian Rentfro: Lucious Starr is one of the most underrated stars in the PWA, and such a pleasant, young man. I don't know why General Manager Strader tries to antagonize him so much.

Jon McDaniel: Maybe it's because Shadow Starr is about as nice as--

Brian Rentfro: His name is LUCIOUS Starr, Jon! L-U-C-I-O-U-S!

Referee Dwayne Cross talks over the rules with all of the participants and calls for the bell. Kyle Stevenson takes the first shift in the ring, for obvious reasons. Serbia waits impatiently as the bell rings.

*DING DING DING!*

Stevenson and Starr run at each other and begin to pummel each other mercilessly. A flurry of punches sends Starr back into his corner and Stevenson begins to kick his adversary in the corner. Starr catches Stevenson's foot and trips him down to the ground, kicking him in the back of the knee and executing an excruciating leg lock. Stevenson replies by sitting up and thumbing Starr in the eye. Cross breaks the two men up and warns Stevenson against the dirty move.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah! Tell that no-good, low-down, egg-thuckin' dog that cheating's not allowed!

Jon McDaniel: Considering the history between these men, I doubt that Cross' words will have any effect. They're going to battle until one of them is unable to leave the ring under their own power.

Stevenson backs up into his corner and Hank Serbia tags himself in, much to the annoyance of Stevenson. Serbia jumps over the top rope with his massive frame and he, too, elects to charge at Starr. Starr goes for a drop toe hold, but Serbia slams on the brakes and delivers a vicious soccer kick to Starr's ribs. Starr is rolling around on the mat in agony and Serbia picks Starr up to his feet. Serbia with a snap suplex, continuing to work on Starr's torso. He lifts Starr back up, just within reaching distance of Kyle Stevenson, who elects to tag himself back in. Serbia drops Starr and puts his hands on his hips as he turns to look at Stevenson.

Brian Rentfro: All is not peaceful in paradise!

Stevenson and Serbia begin to chirp back and forth with one another, threatening to begin throwing punches at each other before too long. Just then, Starr launches himself at Serbia, knocking him into Stevenson. Starr throws Serbia out of the ring and begins to lay into Stevenson with some hard right hands. Stevenson is down in the corner and Starr begins to stomp him. He backs away from his downed opponent and flies in with a nasty kick to his downed opponent's face. Starr with the pin!

1...

2...

Kick out! Starr lifts Stevenson by his hair and fling him into the ropes. Stevenson bounces off the ropes and ducks a clothesline by Starr. He rebounds again and lands a low dropkick to Starr's legs. Starr grimaces as he tries to pick himself up off of the ground. Stevenson is breathing heavy, but still has enough energy to try a step-up enziguri on his groggy foe. Starr crumples to the ground and Stevenson tries for the pin!

1...

2...

Kick out! Stevenson has got a second wind and begins to throw haymakers at Starr. He backs Starr into a corner and begins to chop at Starr's chest as the crowd makes obligatory hooting sounds. Starr grabs Stevenson by the hair and the two men swap places as Starr begins to deliver chops at a faster pace than Stevenson, making the crowd's hooting a little more staggered. He winds up for one last, big chop and decides it's more beneficial to level Hank Serbia with a forearm smash, surprising the newcomer and dropping him to the floor. Starr begins to chat with Serbia, spouting obligatory trash talk like "welcome to the big leagues." Serbia wipes the drops of blood from his lip and points for Starr to turn around.

Jon McDaniel: IGNORANCE! Stevenson lands the Ignorance on Shadow Starr!

Brian Rentfro: Dammit, Jon! His name is LUCIOUS! Don't listen to them, Lucious, you're better than this punk!

Stevenson displays a cut-throat motion to the crowd, who react with approval for the PWA's Favorite Son. Stevenson has Starr set up, propped up on his shoulder and he goes for the FailSafe! Starr throws Stevenson down and slams his head off of the mat. Stevenson grabs his head and Starr drops to one knee, exhausted. Serbia calls out to Stevenson to tag him in, reaching for his partner, who is stirring on the mat. Stevenson crawls toward Serbia, trying to tag him in, when Starr defiantly steps on Stevenson's ankle. Serbia begins to curse at Starr, who simply smirks and flips his middle finger at Serbia. Serbia is beyond angry at this point and is trying to get into the ring, causing Dwayne Cross to step in and tell him to stay on his side of the ropes. While all of this is going on, Starr drops a knee onto Stevenson's back, taunting Serbia the whole time. Serbia drops down from the ring apron, frustrated, and begins to walk away. Starr continues to talk at Serbia as he lifts Stevenson to his feet.

Jon McDaniel: Where is Serbia going?

Brian Rentfro: Obviously, he doesn't have what it takes to compete in the big leagues!

Starr taunts the crowd and signals for the Hell's Wrath. He lifts Stevenson in a suplex, and holds him there for added humiliation as he flirts with a hot girl in the front row. He turns around and walks toward the center of the ring, only to be blinded by a beer thrown in his face by Hank Serbia! Starr drops Stevenson awkwardly, and Serbia tackles Starr to the ground, laying into him with some hard right hands. Starr begins to bleed from his mouth before Dwayne Cross is able to separate Serbia from his adversary and force him out of the ring. Both men are down in the center of the ring, leaving only Hank Serbia standing on the apron, calling to Stevenson to tag him in. Referee Cross begins the count.

1...

2...

3...

4...

Stevenson begins to stir.

5...

6...

Starr up to one knee.

7...

8...

Both men are up to their feet. Starr and Stevenson start to punch each other again, back and forth. One punch landed by the PWA's Favorite Son. One punch from the AoWF's Most Wanted. A haymaker from Stevenson. An overhand strike from Starr. Stevenson staggers Starr; Starr knocks Stevenson back. Starr goes for a big clothesline, Stevenson ducks and Starr falls flat on his face. Stevenson dives for the tag and gets to Hank Serbia, who is barely even fazed at this point. Serbia barrels into the ring and grabs Starr, who has been saying obscene things about Serbia's family throughout the match.

Brian Rentfro: Oh, shi--

Jon McDaniel: Here comes Serbia!

Serbia starts with a HUGE belly-to-belly suplex, slamming Starr onto the mat with authority! He picks Starr up by his stringy hair and puts him in a full-nelson lock, headbutting the back of his head several times before flinging him through the air with a full-nelson slam. The crowd is going crazy over Serbia's dominance. He lifts Starr again and whips him into the ropes. He goes for the big boot, but Starr ducks underneath and spins Serbia around. Starr locks Serbia into the I Claim Your Soul! Serbia screams in pain, and Starr laughs, grinning. Referee Cross checks on Serbia, who tries to claw his way to the bottom rope, but it's fruitless. Serbia brings his hand up, ready to tap, and brings it down. He's not tapping out, though, he's lifting himself up to slam Starr down to the ground. Starr keeps the hold cinched in, and Serbia lifts his foe again, moving slowly to the ropes. Finally, after the third slam, Serbia grabs the bottom rope and Cross demands that Starr break the hold.

Jon McDaniel: And Serbia gets to the ropes!

Brian Rentfro: Oh, good, we have to suffer his presence for even longer. Finish him off, Starr!

Starr stands up and begins to kick the grounded Serbia, who is still trying to catch his breath. Starr lifts Serbia to his feet and shoves him into the corner. Now, Starr begins to talk trash to Stevenson, who has pulled his tired self up onto the apron, anxiously awaiting a tag from Serbia. Starr mocks Serbia reaching out to tag Stevenson, wandering across the ring to set up for a huge clothesline that knocks the wind out of his sails again. Starr grabs Serbia by the collar as he begins to climb the turnbuckle and hoists Serbia into a powerbomb position. The crowd goes crazy over the potential of Starr breaking out the Grim Reaper for the first time in a long time, but Stevenson shoves Starr off of the top turnbuckle, sending him flying to the mats below. Referee Cross admonishes Stevenson for his behavior and Starr is hurting, but stirring on the outside. Stevenson shrugs his shoulders at Cross and flies out of the ring with a suicide dive that sends Starr back down to the floor! The crowd is on their feet!

Jon McDaniel: This match has devolved into Bedlam!

Brian Rentfro: Obviously, Dwayne Cross has no control over anyone in this match! He should be fired!

The one thing Referee Cross does have control over is the 10-count he begins to administer to Starr, who is still legal, on the outside.

1...

2...

3...

4...

Starr is, somehow, back onto his feet!

5...

6...

Starr staggers to the bottom rope and begins to pull himself in.

7...

Except... Stevenson grabs his foot!

8...

Starr is trying to rip his foot away, and kicks Stevenson away, but Stevenson refuses to let go!

9...

Starr finally frees himself and rolls into the ring as Referee Cross was inhaling to call out 10! Starr turns and rebukes Stevenson for trying to win the match using such underhanded tactics. Stevenson smiles, and extends his middle finger to Lucious Starr. Starr turns around and Serbia throws Starr into the air and shocks everyone with the Very European Uppercut! Starr is down! Serbia drags Starr into position. He backs away from his downed opponent before storming toward the corner and jumping onto the middle rope. He launches himself backwards and lands a front-flip senton on Starr! But Starr moves out of the way, and Serbia crashes to the mat! Serbia bounces back to his feet, but goes right back down with the Hades' Flame! Pin by Starr!

1...

2...

3!!!

*DING DING DING!*

Eric Emerson: The winner of this match... SHADO-- erm... LUCIOUS STARR!!

Hard to Find Good Help These Days


The scene opens backstage inside the office of the General Manager, Scott Nash Strader. He sits at his desk with his iPhone in hand not really paying attention to his assistant as he plays Angry Birds, PWA edition where all the birds are variations of Rob Robinson and the pigs are little Chamelion’s. Scott finally puts down his phone and he doesn’t look to pleased with the man in front of him who has been apologizing since last night.

Assistant: Mr. Strader I am very sorry, will you please forgive me?

SNS: I ain’t forgiving shit. You told meHell and High Water were the tag team champions, then that cake eating Dodo goes and makes me look like an ass. In fact I gave Bogard and Gunnar a raise because I felt ad. Your apology is not accepted. In fact, you are fired and you owe me that money cause the Board is taking right out of my paycheque. Get the fuck out of my office.

Assistant: Fired? You can’t fire me! I am your brother in law! And that is ridiculous! I am not paying that back.

Scott shrugs.

SNS: Your sister will understand why I had to fire your incompetent ass as well as break your kneecaps. Now I said get the fuck out of my office. Do not make me say it again.

The assistant shakes his head and gets up to leave but Scott stops him when he has at the door.

SNS: See you next Saturday for dinner? Amy is looking forward to it.

Scott grins as his former assistant and brother in law flips him off and walks out of the office.

SNS: Haha, putts.

The big man goes back to his Angry Birds but curses out loud as a text message comes through. Fortunately for us, Scott reads it out loud.

SNS: Hey Grandpa, heard you were looking for a new ASSistant. I’d be more than happy to give you my ASSistance. Love,Maya.

Scott drops his phone on the desk.

SNS: Oh great… I am fucked.

Trey Willet vs Matthew Engel

Singles Match


Out of the traditional lockup, Willet surprises the veteran Engel with a sloppily applied headlock. Engel twisted to get out of it, but Willet seemed to always be there, doing more to annoy Engel with the hold than apply pressure, but suddenly it tighten fiercely as Willet grasped his advantage on the veteran Engel. Engel managed to send the PWA rookie Willet into the ropes, or so he thought, until Willet reversed the move and Engel was sent into the ropes instead. Engel tried a springboard move, but Willet had slipped down after the whip and luckily avoided the springboard kick. Engel landed and Trey was right there nailing Engel with a lariat taking the former PWA World Champion down. The crowd was firmly behind Engel here when he was trying to get up and Willet delivered a vicious back rake that tore Engel's wifebeater shirt. Trey, thinking the match was in hand, began a bit of showboating and lifted up Engel for a suplex, but Engel managed to reverse the hold, delivering a s ingle arm DDT to gain the first offensive move of the match for him. The veteran that he is, Engel did no showboating and after gaining his breath, went on the attack. Engel methodically went after Willet with kicks, that the PWA rookie seemed to barely avoid and Engel seemed to just be missing. However, Engel was on top of his game, unknown by Willet who had turned and played to the crowd mocking Engel's missing. But when Trey turned back around, Engel was right there nailing him with a vicious savate kick that took him against the ropes right into a leg sweep from Matthew. Engel looked down at Trey for a moment before lifting him up for a suplex, but Trey managed to slip out of the grasp and fall back to the canvas, being much like dead weight.

Willet took the chance to nail a low blow on Engel, unseen by the referee but not by the crowd. As Matthew held himself, in obvious pain, Trey hit a sloppily performed springboard DDT, sending Matthew rolling out of the ring. The crowd were definitely behind Engel, who was still holding himself in major pain on the outside. Trey then leaped from the ring with a suicide dive, sending Engel into the railing around the ring. Trey then played a bit more to the crowd before climbing up to the top turnbuckle and waiting as Engel climbed up to his feet. He leaped off with a big hurricanrana, but Engel was too crafty, stopping him by spinning and slamming him onto the ring steps that were nearby. Engel then caught his breath before whipping Trey into the ring steps, into the barricade, into the ring apron, into the ringpost, before he rolled him back into the ring. Engel climbed through the ropes, delivering a Northern Lights suplex and headed out of the ring. Engel waited on the outside and as Trey shakily got to his knees, Matthew delivered a sunset flip, but Willet sat down and poked both thumbs into each of Engel's eyes; again the referee did not see this action. Willet then pulled Matthew up, delivering a German suplex, following it with several slaps to the face and chops to the chest. He placed Matthew in the corner, in a Tree of Woe position before running across the ring and shoulder blocking Engel's gut while simultaneously nailing him in the crotch with his head. The referee saw this and immediately pulled Willet off, who said it was just an accident. He then unhooked Matthew, setting him up for STS, but Engel blocked it by hitting him in the back of the knees and nailing High Voltage. As Trey was down and out, Engel calmly smirked and showcased his Blood and Vengeance 77, but Willet was too near the ropes and the count couldn't take place.

Willet hooks his foot on the ropes as a rumbling is heard through the crowd. The ref pauses to see what is going on and from the opposing side comes Simon Kalis. Simon spins Engel around and starts to fire lefts and rights at "The Virus". Simon grabs Matthew and flings him into the corner and is firing away on him. Engel is trying to cover himself up as best as he can as Simon is unleashing on him. Before Simon can fully throw everything at Engel, he, himself is spun around by Willet, who is back up and very pissed off. Trey backs Simon up with a European uppercut, then a chest chop, a forearm and he ends it all with a front kick that sends Kalis into the ropes. Trey goes to finish the job, but is cut off by Engel. Engel gets in Trey's face and the two are arguing back and forth. Engel pushes Trey out the way and walks towards Kalis. Trey grins and shakes his head as he clotheslines Matthew from behind. Kalis on the other hand rushes back in and attacks Trey, protecting Engel. Trey is trying to step back and protect himself, because now Matthew is up and is joining Kalis in attack Willet. It looks like Trey is going to be in bad shape when a man in a bear mask comes running down the rampway. The man slides into the ring and yanks Engel off of Trey...which allows Trey to push Kalis back. Kalis smiles and decides that this is the right time to make his exit and drops down and under the bttom ropes and starts to head to the back. Engel does the same thign leaving Trey and the mystery man in the middle of the ring. The masked man exits the ring himself leaving through the crowd as Trey stands alone in the middle of the ring shaking his head.

Bow Chicka Wow Wow


Bodie Vera Cruz is walking down Gerrard street on the seedier side of Tornto. He almost blends in with the homeless men and women who dot the sidewalks. His clothes are dirty, as is his hair. As he walks, he notices someone staring at him out a window of a nearby building. The man's gaze follow Bodie as he continues to walk down the street, and Bodie grows increasingly nervous. Suddenly the man bursts through the door, running after Bodie, who has broke into a sprint.

The smaller man easily catches up to Bodie.

"WAIT! DON'T RUN AWAY, MAN! I AIN'T GONNA HURT YA! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

Bodie stops dead in his tracks after hearing the man say that he knows his identity.

Bodie: Who am I?

Man: You're the next big thing! You're the next star of the silver screen! Let me introduce my self. I'm Don Howard, producer extraordinaire and director par excellence. And I think you are the perfect fit for my movie. With your name and face recognition, you can bring my movie to the masses. Here, look at the script.

He hands Bodie the script, which Bodie begins to read. Howard smirs as Bodie's lips move as he reads the script. Bodie stops reading and looks at Howard, concerned.

Bodie: I don't know, Don. This really doesn't look wholesome.

Don: Wholesome? Look buddy, we're not making dinner. We're making ART! *Don sweeps his hands as if making a marquee for the word art.*

Bodie: Hmm. Well, I like art, I think. But I'm still not sure.

Don: I'll put you in the starring role and pay you ten grand!

Bodie: HOT BUTTERED POPCORN THAT'S A DEAL!

Don puts an arm around Bodie: Ok, let's get you cleaned up and get you fed. You're gonna need your energy.

A shower and a hot meal later, Bodie's spirits are up. He confidently steps out of the bathroom/dressing room...wearing nothing but a loincloth. Bodie looks around the set and, even in his condition, surmises that this is an adult movie. Howard walks up andputs his arm around Bodie.

Don: Alright, buddy, here's your chance. You can be a bigger star than Studly Hungwell, than the great Asian star Hung Lo, hell you can even be bigger than Willy Fisterbottom. Just read your lines off the cue cards with confidence. Here's your co-star....Anita Hardwon.

A very buxom brunette walks up to Bodie, looks him up and down, licks her lips and smiles.

Anita: A virgin...to movies, I see?

Bodie looks down, blushing: Yes ma'am.

Don: Ok, here we go. We're renting this set by the hour, so let's get this done quick and right. And....ACTION!

Anita: Ohhh, Son of Zeus...take me now!

Bodie reads from the cue cards word by word, like a child just learning to read.

Bodie: Foolish....mortal....wench! You....are...not...woman...enough...for....Hey wait who's Zeus?

Don: CUT!!!

He walks up to Bodie. He is a little aggravated, but also amused at Bodie's ignorance.

Don: Ok, buddy. Let's try it again, ok? Just read the lines normally, like you're really talking to Anita. And Anita, give him a little incentive at the end of your line, if you know what I mean.

Anita: Ok, Don.

Don:And....ACTION!

Anita: Ohhh...Son of Zeus, take me now!
*she rips her skimpy top off*

Bodie: WOW!

Don: CUT!!!! WOW?! Did you just say 'WOW?' The Son of Zeus does not say 'WOW!'

Anita: He would if he saw these.

Bodie: She has a point.

Don: OK, ok, ok. He would. But not in my movie, ok? Anita, cover back up. Let's try it again. Let's really try to get it right, ok? For me?
And......ACTION!

Anita: Ohhhh, Son of Zeus, take me now!
*She rips her top off again*

Bodie: Foolish mortal wench! You are not woman enough for Testicles!

Don: CUT!!! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! CUT!!!
Don grabs the cue card and walks up to Bodie.
Don: CAN YOU READ THIS?

Bodie: Yeah.

Don: THEN WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Bodie: I DON'T KNOW MY NAME!

Don: IT'S RIGHT HERE ON THE CUE CARD!!!

Bodie: Oh, ok. Testicles.

Don: NO, AMMIT! IT'S NOT TEST-I-CULS! IT'S TEST-I-CLEES! YA KNOW LIKE HERCULES! TESTICLES!

Bodie gives Don a double thumbs up.

Bodie: Oh, ok. Testicles.

Don: Ok one more time.....places....and....ACTION!

Anita: Ohhh, Son of Zeus....TAKE ME NOW!!!!
*She rips her top off*

Bodie: Foolish mortal wench! You are not woman enough for TESTICLES!
*He rips off his loincloth.*

Anita's eyes bulge wide.
Don: Damn. The boy's a natural. I'm so proud!

Bodie: To prove your worth, you must *points down* climb Mt. Olympus.

Cheesy music starts to play in the background, but is interrupted.

HEY! WHERE YOU AT, YOU DUMB SUMBITCH!?

The voice is unmistakeable...It's Bubba J.

I BEEN CHASIN' YOUR CRAZY ASS SINCE OTTAWA!

Bodie's eyes open wide in fear. He takes off running, completely naked, from the building and onto the streets of Toronto. Soon the sounds, of honking horns, screeching tires, cars crashing, and police sirens are heard.

Don storms over to Bubba, whoa appears to be more interested in Anita at the moment. Don turns Bubba around and begins poking him in the chest.

Don: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? YOU'VE RUINED MY MOVIE!!!

Bubba: You got three seconds to back up out of my face, and I ain't good at countin backwards.... 3....1

Bubba hits Trailer Park Trash on Don. He gets up and starts to walk out.

Bubba: I gotta find that crazy sumbitch.

Anita: Hey! Bubba!

Bubba turns and faces the topless actress. His eyes widen and a sly grin crosses his lips.

Bubba: Well, hello there, sugarbritches.

Anita: Oh, Bubba. I just love your initials...BJ!

Bubba's eyes and grin grow wider.

Bubba: Well, I guess I can give that crazy sumbitch a little headstart.

Oh Just a Little Birdie


The scene opens up backstage at the dressing room door of Matthew Engel aka The Virus. The fans in the arena begin to boo and some cheer as The Virus appears on the ADCtron at his locker room door. He pushes through and stops suddenly as eight full patched members of the Bandido’s Motorcycle Club sit in his dressing room giving him the death stare.

Virus: Fuck this.

As he turns around he walks right into the chest of Scott Nash Strader. Engel looks up catching Strader’s eye as the two burn holes through each other.

SNS: Where ya goin’ Matt?

Virus: Well the smell in my room is a little rough so I thought some fresh air might help clear out the stench that is my nostrils.

The arena gasps as Scott chuckles and the men behind Engel crack their knuckles.

SNS: Now now Matt, is that anyway to talk to your local Bandido’s charter? You are smarter than that, especially, if my math is correct that is, when it is nine against one.

Virus: What do you want Scott?

Strader’s nostrils flare as he steps closer to Engel. He looks down at him, hatred in his eyes that must not have left his system after all these years.

SNS: Your little video segment for my son in law. You know, the one that showed my daughter and grandson outside their home?

Virus: Ohhh, that video. What’s your damn point, old man?

SNS: My damn point, son, is that is my family you are now effectively fucking with. Did you really think that I would just let that pass by?

Engel smiles up at the boss of Rampage and shrugs.

Virus: I really didn’t give a flying fuck to tell you thr truth.

Scott starts to laugh and continues to laugh as he speaks.

SNS: Oh you just didn’t give a fuck? Haha, oh you dirty son of a bitch.

The laughter stops. He looks deep into the Virus’ eyes.

SNS: Matt… remember what happened a few years ago after X-Mas @ Ground Zero? Do you?

Virus: You mean where you left for dead in the middle of a Michigan winter…. Yeah, I think I may recall that.

SNS: This time I won’t leave you alive.

Engel pushes Scott back a little.

Virus: Fuck you Strader. You would have done the exact same fucking thing I did. Simon is attacking me, and attacking my family! He brought all this bullshit onto himself. You want someone to be mad at, go smack around that Nick Fury look alike and lay idle death threats on him instead of me.

Scott sneers.

SNS: Fine. You are protecting your family. I get that. But you know who also gets it but also will do something about it?

Virus: Who would that be?

Scott’s sneer turns into a sly grin, as he pats Engel on the shoulder.

SNS: Oh just a little birdie… You should come to Rampage next week and that very question Matt… will be answered.

Scott pats him once more before raising his hand and motioning to his brothers in arms to leave. Strader waves at Engel as The Virus stands there curious as to what the old asshole has up his sleeve.

Simon Kalis vs Anna Matthews

Singles Match


Ummmm...well, the lights go out because this is a totally awesome wrestling entrance and complete darkness is a sign of a totally awesome wrestling entrance. The speaker sound offs the cranking of a music box key as the tron light begins to flicker. Cue the ever beautiful guitar and beat of Childhood (Don't) A-Go-Go. Huzzah!

KAPOW and ZOOM in the romper room
My world's a big cartoon
And I'm never gonna leave it now
A cracker jack-ass prize
I wanna slip and slide
My secret hide out, ride out
on my big wheels bike
I hit the thrusters on my mean machine
It's painted black and green
and I'm never gonna give it up
So leggo my super hero ego
My psychosis has been molded
into a ball of Play-doh

As the chorus starts, Anna Mathews steps out to the admiration and the hatred of you silly humans. There's a spotlight on her because, let's face it, she's brilliant and all these things are are just an exercise in ego stroking.

Well, hang on
and we'll be best imaginary friends
to the end.
Recommended
for ages eight and up.
Shake it up like an Etch-A-Sketch
Erase the filthy wretch
of the life I have rejected now
Well, Simon says "grow up"
and Simon says "shut up"
and Simon says "give up"
and be like everyone else.
I do not like it on a boat.
Don't like it with a goat.

At this point, Anna disappears from the spotlight and the rest of the light come back on and teleports to the ring and proceeds to beat the ever-lasting shit out of her opponent.

Jon McDaniel: Our true Intercontinental Champion tonight faces one of her biggest challenges ever in a former PWA World, Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion in Simon Kalis.

Brian Rentfro: I don’t think anyone thought we’d see him back in a PWA ring after his last exit, in protest in fact over the treatment of Anna Mathews.

“Sympathy for the Devil” by Guns N Roses hits over the speakers and the crowd immediately begins to cheer wildly.

Eric Emerson: Her opponent, from Vancouver, British Columbia!

Jon McDaniel: Sympathy for the Devil? Really? Another cheap shot at Engel I imagine.

Brian Rentfro: Wait a minute, Simon isn’t from Vancouver…

Yet the man who appears first from behind the curtain shocks the crowd, as Underground X Superstar Vega leaps out and laps his tongue around like a panting dog.

Eric Emerson: Accompanied to the ring by UX Superstar, Vega and Simon Kalis!

Brian Rentfro: Oh boy.

Simon Kalis finally steps out, wearing a suit and tie and obviously not competing tonight and high fives his old friend as both men turn to face the next man to come.

Eric Emerson: JEREMY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!!

Jeremy Gold steps out, gulps and wipes the tears from his face as he looks to Simon and begs him to reconsider. Vega leaps forward, grabs Jeremy Gold and plants a long, tender kiss on his boyfriends lips to give him some encouragement.

Jon McDaniel: What is happening? Is Simon not wrestling tonight?

Simon slides into the ring and offers Anna Mathews a handshake before the bell rings as Vega circles the ring, hunched over and moving around like a chimpanzee before he jumps up onto the announcers table and sits down in the middle of Brian and Jon. Anna winces as she pulls her hand back and seems to exchange a few words with Simon. Simon apparently apologizes as he climbs out of the ring and pulls out some sort of device that pricked Anna Mathews and drew a vial of blood from her. Gold is still outside the ring shaking in his Adidas track suit, tears streaming down his face.

Vega: YOU THIRSTY?!

Jon McDaniel: Oh my God what is that smell?

Gold finally slides into the ring when Simon basically throws him into it.

Vega: I’M FUCKING PARCHED MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

Brian Rentfro: Him.

DING DING DING

Anna Mathews stares at Jeremy Gold for a moment and piss begins to stream down Jeremy Golds leg.

Jon McDaniel: So… Maybe you’ll know, why isn’t Simon wrestling tonight? And why did he just basically take a vial of Anna Mathews’ blood?

Vega: Rabies is infectious. Also, pancakes.

Brian Rentfro: I don’t think you’re going to get an answer from this idiot.

Jeremy Golds’ eyes close and he spins, before fainting. Anna Mathews teleports across the ring and stands on him as the referee makes the count.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Jon McDaniel: Well that was anticlimactic.

Vega: Purple. No, no! VIOLET!

Simon slides into the ring to check on Jeremy Gold and wake him up as Vega removes his headset and jumps up onto the announcers table. Anna Mathews has her hand raised and Simon applauds her, after all he is the President of her Fan Club.

Jon McDaniel: I’m going to be sick. Is Vega really twerking?

COME. FUCKING. GET. ME


As the dust settles, "Here Comes The Money" by Naughty By Nature hits the PA, the crowd and the two people in the ring look up to the entrance ramp. In walks Lucious Starr, a mic in hand and the Intercontinental Title around his waist. He almost laughs at Simon and Anna in the ring, shaking his head. The music dies down, Lucious holding up the mic.

Lucious Starr: Bra-fucking-vo, idiots. You've put on a two-star match. Great job. By the way, how does it feel knowing that you're both beneath me??

The two in the ring have irritated looks on their faces, but don't seem the least bit phased. Lucious continues.

Lucious Starr: Anna Mathews. Queen of the Dodo's. The would-be Intercontinental Champion. Unfortunately, Anna, you never EARNED your shot at this title, unlike myself. And frankly, until you can defeat me with the title on the line, you don't deserve the shot that Scooby Snack Strader is giving you. But I like you, Anna, so I'll give you some leeway here. I mean, you were SO much more interesting to watch when you had a legion of puppet soldiers beneath you. But we'll settle for talking like a three-year-old with a potty mouth from you, because frankly, it's actually rather sad. Sad that someone with the talent you possess is so pathetic when it comes to speaking the English language. Shit, girl. Maybe we just need to put your fine ass on some Ritalin so you can wake up from your pretty land of rainbows, unicorns and farts that smell like apple pie. Because, honestly... why the fuck haven't you been institutionalized yet??

Anna seems a tad miffed, but otherwise just shakes it off. Apparently, she doesn't give a fuck. And why the hell should she? She's Anna Mathews. Fuck your logic.

Lucious Starr: And Aaron. The ever-imposing Canuck Patriot. Leader of the Order of Chaos' Army. How grand of you to grace us with your presence. And yet, as big as you are, the soldier, the god that you masquerade as day in and day out, and you come out here with goddamn bodyguards. How fucking pathetic. Really, Aaron, you're in for a rude awakening when you find out just how low you are on the food chain. I mean, without these little Egyptian bastards surrounding you, you're nothing more than a crippled Cyclops with a superiority complex. The problem, Aaron, is that you refuse to see your legend crumbling around you.

Engel has your number, Aaron, whether you believe it or not. And you and I both know that, as a member of both the Order and the Masters of Armageddon, I have all the necessary skills and knowledge to bring you down myself if he fails. The only problem is having to get through your little army. But that's no problem at all. See, I've been going around recruiting my own army. Oh, no one you'll see in the ring or back in the locker rooms, because I'm a fucking MAN who can look out for HIMSELF. No, Aaron, this army will only show when the moment is right, cutting down your defenses until it's just you. I don't care if it means taking on the World's Reserve of Chaos soldiers, I'm bringing you down.

Lucious pauses, Simon almost laughing as he shakes off these seemingly empty threats. At this point, Lucious turns to the nearest camera.

Lucious Starr: And YOU. Scotty "Bandido Bitch Captain" Strader. I already took down a couple of your boys earlier. The whole goddamn Bandido Nation can come after me, and I'm going to say this once and once only:

I'M RIGHT HERE.

Lucious extends his arms, grinning. He motions for noone inparticular to bring it, then brings the mic to his face.

Lucious Starr: You got a fucking problem with me, Scott? Come see me face-to-face. Resolve it like a damn man, not a fucking child who's gonna sit around like a bitch and let his buddies do his bidding. I've officially got a target bigger than the fucking PWA itself on my back, and everybody is coming for me. You think your Bandidos scare me? You think the Order fucking scares me? You think ANY of these motherfuckers means a goddamn thing to me, Scotty?!

Lucious raises an arm, a wall of fire bursting up between himself, the locker rooms and the entrance ramp. He shakes his head, turning back to the camera.

Lucious Starr: Anna, Aaron, Scott, Bandidos, Order, whoever the fuck else has a deathwish... come fucking get me. At the start of the show next week, my ass will be in that ring, surrounded by a steel cage. And I'm not going ANYWHERE until someone decides to do something about it. COME. FUCKING. GET. ME!!!

Lucious drops the mic, pulling his Desert Eagle. He aims it at the camera and pulls the trigger, the image fizzling out. The crowd roars as the cameraman runs into the crowd, Lucious turning to the two in the ring. He points down, dragging his free thumb across his throat before turning, pacing through the pyrotechnics. The fire dies down as he exits, the crowd roaring in anticipation of this new mood of Lucious Starr.

Jacob Figgins & Johnny Maverick vs Teddy Alexander & Emperor Ian

Tag Team Match


Figgins and Alexander started off this match, circling each other like animals preparing to fight. Both men kept an eye on their opponent's partner as they got near the opposite corner, but the main focus was on the man in the ring across from them. Teddy lunged at Jacob, who managed to take him down with a scissors take down, quickly rolling up to his feet. Teddy was right behind him, lashing out with a right hand, but Jacob avoided the punch, but was unable to avoid the slap to his chest. Jacob stumbled back, Teddy nailing another couple of chops to the chest. Teddy was pressing his advantage, getting a bit carried away, until Jacob took advantage of the situation with a snapmare suplex. Jacob caught his breath momentarily, as the fans roared their approval and he pulled Teddy up to a bent over position. Teddy delivered an elbow into Jacob's midsection and delivered a snapmare of his own before smirking as he rolled up to his feet, but as he turned around, Jacob booted him in the gut and delivered a facebreaker DDT; Jacob had somehow avoided much of the punishment of the snapmare, but also received enough to fall on one knee. Jacob shook his head and went to tag in Johnny, but Ian managed to get the ref's attention and the tag was not witnessed by the referee. Ian said something about the weather, the referee turned just as Teddy rolled Figgins up from behind with a pin that only got 2. Jacob got up and was pissed, Teddy spun him around, hitting the snapmare with perfection this time. Teddy then pulled Jacob back up, delivering a vicious necksnap in the corner in front of Ian. The two slapped hands and Ian came in, both of them doing the obligatory double team in the corner and Maverick coming in, but the referee pushing him back to his own corner; Maverick obliged with a killing glare at the referee. Jacob was beaten down in the corner, but just like Ian wanted, he lifted him up, putting him back down with a cradle neckbreaker, the two obviously going after Jacob's neck for a possible submission later. Ian stood on Jacob's throat for a moment, well actually a count of four before stepping off, Jacob gasping for breath. Ian bent down calmly, pulling Jacob into position then nailing a Face Smasher Bomb. Jacob was out of it and Johnny was very ticked off at his not inability to help, but the fact that the referee wouldn't let him. The crowd was behind Jacob with a "Pulse" chant, but so far it wasn't helping him too much here. Ian, sensing blood in the water like a shark, delivered a Tiger suplex onto the seemingly broken Figgins before walking over to tag in Teddy. However, it was Johnny's time to get the referee's attention and the other tag wasn't legal. Johnny came in past the referee and managed to get both of them away from the corner and pull the very dazed Figgins over to his own corner; the referee yelling at him the entire time. Johnny leaned down and pulled Jacob's hand up, tagging himself in, the referee had no choice but to accept. Johnny turned around nailing Ian with a roundhouse kick, nearly decapitating Ian. The Emperor went down and Teddy looked as though he was going to come in, so Johnny delivered a roundhouse kick to him as well, gaining the ire of the ref in the process. By this time Ian was getting back up and Ian received a Lou Thesz Press from Johnny that had several varying strikes involved in the package. Jacob was getting back up on the apron, trying to get back in to this one.

Johnny covered for a count of 2 before Ian kicked out just before 3. Maverick pulled the Emperor up to his feet, setting him up and delivering a double underhook suplex. Johnny went for another pin, but Teddy was in there and breaking it up for his team and preventing it. Johnny held his head as he lay face down on the canvas from the stomp on the back of his skull. Teddy was yelling back at the referee as Jacob was yelling for the crowd to get behind Johnny and give him some support; which they gladly did with a chant of "Outlaw!" Maverick slowly crawled over to the corner, his hand reaching up and tagging in his partner Figgins. Ian was up and not being able to make the tag to Teddy in time spun around, Figgins with a rolling knee bar took Ian down. In came Teddy, Figgins with a back body sent him over the top rope to the outside. Jacob turned back to Ian, who was down on the canvas, Teddy back to his knees and slowly his feet on the outside. Jacob launched himself with a Piscada, driving Teddy down on the floor. However Ian was moving inside and the ref had to start his mandatory ten count on Jacob, who was slowly getting back to the ring as he stared at Ian with a smirk on his face and pointing behind him. Ian spun, thinking it was Johnny, which allowed Jacob in the ring. Ian kicked him in the gut, but Jacob was fighting back with rights and lefts, Ian managing to hold his ground with Figgins as they went toe to toe. Ian went for a stunning haymaker, Jacob ducked to his right, under the punch, nailing Ian with a discus lariat and whipping him into the ropes. Ian managed to somehow reverse it and Figgins tagged Maverick on the rebound.

Ian leap frogged Figgins, but couldn't duck under the Catcus clothesline by Johnny. Ian went down heavily as Teddy stood on the apron watching and the referee got Figgins back in his corner. Maverick lifted Ian up, dropping him with a simple, but highly effective neckbreaker before leaping to the top turnbuckle. Ian seemed to be out of it and Maverick leaped with a moonsault double knee drop onto Ian. Maverick glared at Teddy, who was saying something the mics couldn't manage to pick up. Maverick stood back up and mouthed off at Teddy, giving Ian a chance to catch his breath. Maverick was nailed in the crotch with a double fist then Ian put him on the canvas with an airplan spin toss. Ian, wasting little time, locked in a surfboard submission, but Maverick managed to somehow touch the ropes after several moments and the hold was broken. Maverick slowly got to his feet, but not to safety as Ian carried Maverick to the Inner Circle, then showed Maverick how it felt to be on the receiving end of the Imperial Plex. Teddy tagged himself in, but Ian was cool with it and didn't argue. Teddy then hung Johnny on the ropes and performed a double foot stomp on the Rock and Roll Outlaw, much to the hatred of the crowd. Teddy didn't care, he just continued mocking them and Johnny as he slowly pulled Maverick up to his feet. Teddy, showing no compassion or care, packed Johnny up with a Package Turnbuckle Driver. However instead of going for the pin, Teddy smirked, spat a wad of saliva at the crowd, and continued. Jacob was clapping and trying to get Johnny back in to this, trying to get the crowd in to this, and doing his best to build momentum. Teddy just laughed as he put Johnny on the ropes, both literally and figuratively, with a Wheelbarrow Rope Hang. The ref was quickly there to prevent any illegal activity and forced Teddy back a step as he checked on Johnny, who had taken a beating like Jacob did earlier. Teddy shoved by the ref,

but Johnny slammed his head back with a roundhouse kick to the throat and was on him with a rear naked choke. Ian came in to stop the submission, but Jacob delivered the Hello Kitty Doom Doom Train! Teddy passed out and couldn't answer the call of the referee.

Winner: Jacob Figgins and Johnny Maverick 23:17

Choose Your Side...


The scene opens up to the locker room of Trey Willet. Trey has just finished being checked by the EMTs when he hears a knock on the door.

*Knock, Knock*

Trey gets up and walks towards the door. Opening it, he sees his longtime friend Eli Storm standing in the doorway. He manages a small smile before turning around and walking back to the bench, still holding an icepack on his head.

Trey: You know, when you called me...this wasn't exactly in your recruiting brochure.

Storm closes the door behind him and grabs a chair. He has a serious look on his face as he speaks.

Storm: I know...I should of told you that the inmates here are a little more wilder then most. But that is why I'm here Trey. To let you know that I have your back...as long as you have mine. That is way I sent my good friend down to help you out.

Trey tilts his head with a slight nod of approval before sitting the ice-pack down beside him. He shoos the EMTs out of the locker room and begins changing into his street clothes.

Trey: If I didn't have your back, do you really think I would be in Canada? It smells like maple syrup and kindness up here. Makes me kind of uneasy.

Storm doesn't even let a giggle out.

Storm: You don't understand, Trey...THEY are trying to bring me down. Trying to destroy me after all I've done to keep this ship afloat. They want to take me out and take the company. They want to benefit off of my hard work to get it back to the top. Now THEY have returned and want to claim what is mine, trey...what is fucking mine!!! but they won't get it without a war. But I need to know...are you willing to go to war with me. ARE YOU!?!

Trey gives a cautions smile to storm before getting up and patting him on the shoulder.

Trey: Look man. I don't really know what you're talking about. I just walked into the door this morning. If someone is trying to get you? I think you've got it under control. If you want to keep this company afloat then you've come to the right guy.

Trey walks back to his locker and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.. He lights one, pushes the pack back into his locker and sits back on the bench.

Trey: I AM ratings. I AM money. This shit that went down tonight will be avenged. People always tend to hate on their betters. So you want this Company to stay afloat? You just put that baby in the Willenium's arms. You want a war? Best get yourself some sleep and think hard about what you think is going on here.

Storm jumps up and stares at Trey.

Storm: You don't understand, Trey. This isn't like Vegas. This isn't a made up War to fluff someone's ego. I need to know if you are with me and when the time comes that you are willing to bleed these bastards out.

Storm starts to walk towards the door.

Storm: Because friend to friend...if you aren't with me...well you know the rest...

Trey looks a little worried as he stares at his old friend.

Trey: Whatever you need man. I still think this is a little...umm...out there. But yeah sure. Whatever you need man.

Storm leaves the locker room and heads down the hallway. He stops as the hoodied figure from earlier steps out from the shadows with a bat in hand.

Hoodied Figure: Well!?!

Storm just looks at him and smiles.

Storm: He is taken care of. I know what side he will choose.

Hoodied Figure: And if he changes his mind?

Storm: Then you get to break him.

The figure steps back into the shadows as Storm smiles and whistles as he skips down the hallway. Fade to black...