Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


01-06-2014


Follow.The.Swerve


The scene opens to a makeshift office at the arena that this week's Rampage will be held at. At the desk in the middle of the somewhat empty room sits Eli Storm. Around Storm, stands a bunch of men dressed as Teddy Bears, Storm grins and looks up.

Storm: It seems in my leave...snakes have slithered themselves into my yard and have taken a foot hole in the company that I brought back from the brink of death. Rather it is the B.o.D. bringing in SNS to be a Commish/GM or Simon Kalis spouting his nonsense. Everyone seems to think they have a hand in what goes on.

Storm stands up from his desk.

Storm: But this is my company now. And it doesn't matter who the board brings in or who thinks they still have money in PWA.

A grin creeps on Storm's face.

Storm: You want this company...you can have it over my...

Storm pauses...

Storm: No...you can have it over YOUR dead body...

Storm starts to walk around the desk. He walks over to the door and opens it, signaling that it is time for the camera crew to leave. as the crew heads out the door, they see what looks like a little teddy bear sitting in the middle of the floor with a sign in it's lap.

"Follow.The.Swerve..."

Welcome to RAMPAGE!!!

Canadian Tire Centre - 1000 Palladium Drive, Ottawa, Ontario




"I never knew that a kid like me
Could take his mic around the world and flash the big S.D.
And rock the masses, from Madrid to Calabassas
Tijuana, Mexico, bootleg demos in Tokyo..."

The scene opens to Eli Storm sitting behind his desk at Incredible Inc. On his desk sits the contracts of Matthew Engel, Simon Kalis...Storm pushes the camera away before it could see the last contract. The scene switches to Grizzly Beer Champion, Johnny Maverick, who is slowly shining his newly won gold.

“They know me though, 'cause I be puttin' in work
Commit my life to rebirth, well respected, 'cause that's my word
I'm sure you heard, about a new sound going around
She might have left my hood, but she was born in my town"

The scene then switches to PWA IC Champion, Teddy Alexander. The scene then switches to Hunter Sullivan who is waiting for Viktor Stone to turn around before nailing the Viper Snap. Hunter smiles as Stone hit the mat.

"You didn't know, thought we was new on the scene
Well, it's alright! It's alright!
I know you know, I see you smiling at me
Well, it's alright! It's alright!"

The scene switches to Shawn O'Reilly getting forcefully getting removed from a fan fest, shouting and screaming at anyone who will listen to him. The cameras come up on the PWA Tag Team Champions, Gunnar and Cody. Bodie Vera Cruz, is shown posing with the American flag. Sprinkles seem to be falling around him.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South"

Sykopath is seen in the gym, surrounded in a circle of watermelons. As a bell rings he grabs a handful of forks and flings them with amazing speed towards the mid regions (nutts and berries) of the watermelons. Luscious Starr is seen staring at a picture of the PWA Heavyweight Champion. Focused on getting it back.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
How you like me now?"

The scene now changes to a beautiful field full of daises. Spread out within the daisies ad plant pots in shape of dodos. Anna Matthews is seen with Pedro, playing dress up. While Bubba J poses with the PWA World Heavyweight Title. As the cameras zoom in.

"Is that all you got?
I'll take your best shot."

The scene now switched to the announcer table where McDaniel and Rentfro are ready to get started. Before they do snow begins to fall in the arena, and festive holiday music begins to play. Through the entrance way comes Santa. He ambles down the ramp, 'HO HO HO'ING', waving to the fans and handing out candy to the kids. Over his shoulder is a big bag.

Jon McDaniel: Welcoem to 2014 and the first Rampage of the New Year and as always in the PWA...chaos is all around us.

Brian Rentfro: Rather it's Simon's politics, SNS' bikers or Storm's return...it seem we are going to be in the middle of a power struggle.

Jon McDaniel: And who are you going to side with?

Brian Rentfro: Who's name is on our checks?

Jon McDaniel: Eli Storm's.

Brian Rentfro: Hmmmmm...

Brian looks at Jon.

Brian Rentfro: It's good to have you back, Boss man. I have tried to hold down the fort while Jon here has been hop from lap to lap trying to win favors from your enemies like a fat stripper at launch. And let me just say...

The Champs Are Here!?!


"Bad Ass" by Saliva hits up in the speakers, from the back to a big ovation is the reigning PWA World Heavyweight Champion Bubba J. Around his waist is the PWA World Title, in his left hand is a red Solo cup full of what is presumeably Jack Daniels and Coke, and in his right hand is a lit Marlboro Light Menthol. Walking down the ramp, he nods to each side as he takes a sip of the drink and a drag on the cigarette, before climbing into the ring, managing not to spill a single drop of the cup's contents. He looks at the offered microphone, the cup in his hand, the lit cigarette in the other, wondering which he is going to put down. He holds the cigarette in the corner of his mouth and grabs the mic.

"Fucking wassup?!"

He drags on the cigarette as they roar.

"Damn ya'll wouldn't put down the drink either, you drunk sumbitches!"

They roar again, he chuckles.

"I'm out here because there is something that needs to be said and I needs to say it."

He looks around, dropping the finished cigarette and grinding it out.

"You see, a couple of weeks ago that piece of shit Americana came down here to stick his nose in what wasn't even my business. I like Engel well enough, I like Simon well enough... even if he is the black cock of the PWA..."

They laugh and he nods.

"Truth is that I fought those guards so that the two of them could fight!"

The crowd roars.

"So they could play patty cake!"

They roar again.

"So they could finger paint!"

They again roar.

"So they could do whatever, I held them off as long as I could, until that dirty bastard headbutted my nuts after I knocked him down."

He shrugs.

"It hurts after all..."

He grabs himself, the women wince and the guys groan; they know the pain.

"Either way, then this new and so far unimproved piece of shit wants to come down and stick his overly large nose into what is going on."

He drinks.

"Getting involved."

Another drink.

"Thinking that he's taking on the good fight."

Another sip, he notices its empty and tosses the cup into the crowd, he quickly lights up another cigarette.

"Well, the nose is still the same, the acts are still the same, the smell is still the same... same old shit and different costume."

Before Bubba can keep going, the track "Welcome to the World" by T.I. comes over the speaker. Most of the fans are bewildered by it, but a handful of them get very, very loud - and the enthusiasm gradually spreads when Micah Castille makes his grand return to the PWA.

He's wearing a "BeeSharks" logo tee-shirt and carrying ten pounds of gold - the Underground X Undisputed Championship.

He stops on top of the ramp, takes a deep breath, and starts rolling.

"I've only been back in PWA for ten seconds, and I already need to make some apologies. First, I apologize to everybody who visited the PWA website these past two years. That bitch STILL looks like a dolphin with third degree burns, and you deserve better."

The crowd pops at the burial of the infamous blog thing.

"I have to apologize to Bubba J, because I fucked up your little promo about Lucha Captain America... you really had a head of steam going there. Luckily, nobody cares."

This draws a series of boos from the Scottish crowd.

"And I have to apologize to everybody who hates it when some fuck crashes a segment, and starts throwing around names and places from two years ago like we've all got a PWA encyclopedia by the sofa.

So just in case you've been living underneath a grimy fucking rock... or you're Scottish..."

He pauses here and gets a few jeers.

"I'm going to tell a short, simple story. I'm Micah Castille. You can call me The Elect. And I'm the Underground X Undisputed Champion."

He raises the title in the air for a few seconds - the crowd cheers a bit, but now they're more confused than anything. It's been a very long time since another champion has walked through the halls of Pioneer Wrestling.

"If AOWF.org is the only thing in your bookmarks, just know that I've been stabbed, poisoned, jumped, blown up, and beaten three quarters to death in a third-world Mexican hellhole that makes Rebel Pro look like the Five Seasons...

Because I remember a time when being PWA champion wasn't the pinnacle of the wrestling world. When it just meant you had a target on your back and you had to go all around the Alliance of Wrestling Federations to prove you were and your company were worth the hype. And damn if I don't miss those days a little bit."

The crowd gives a very loud pop for this.

"There's a lot of other reasons for this to happen - the last time we were in a ring together I busted a billion glass bottles over your head.

Just a couple of weeks ago you beat my half-sister for the PWA World Championship and ruined a totally fucking sweet photo-op we were gonna do.

And last, I just fought a three-month war with some rednecks down in Mexico, and I'm ready to rip the throat out of anything that likes NASCAR, watches beer or thinks college football is a real sport..."

"So here's what you need to know. Your neverending love affair with Matthew Engel is officially on-hold. I just signed a limited contract with the PWA, and you and me are going to mix it up."

Bubba J looks at Micah Castille, he calmly lights up a cigarette as he stares at Micah.

"Who in the fuck are you again?"

Micah goes to speak, Bubba J holds up a hand.

"Nevermind, I don't give a fuck anyways."

He exhales.

"You say that you busted a billion bottles over my head."

He scratches some scars on his head.

"Normally I'd apologize for not remembering pissants, but I just realized that I don't give a good gawd damn."

The crowd roars.

"You want to come out here and interupt my segment, you want to interupt me..."

Micah goes to speak.

"No, you shut the fuck up while I'm talking or I'll come up there and whoop your sorry ass right fucking now."

The crowd roars.

"You interupt me to whine about me beating your half sister for this title."

He pats the PWA World Title.

"And to bitch about rednecks, some burnt dolphin that you wanta stick your porpoise in, and yet... all of that shit talking... and you didn't say a fucking word."

He mimics Micah's voice, putting a whiny note in it.

"You beat my wittle sister. You took her title. You beat her up weally bad. Cry me a fucking river you sorry sumbitch. Am I honestly supposed to give a damn that you signed a tempory contract with the PWA?"

He stares.

"No, I said shut the fuck up until I'm finished."

He drags on the smoke and slowly releases it.

"Its your fucking death note, I'm not gonna care."

He adjusts the belt.

"You bitch about fighting in some hole in the ground where you got through fighting rednecks..."

He stares.

"Don't fucking care. You bitch about NASCAR... I care more about that than you signing a contract."

He makes a baby crying noise.

"You bitch about drinking beer."

Another baby whining noise. He drags again before exhaling.

"You bitch about college football."

Again with the baby whining noise.

"Has anyone besides me noticed a pattern here?"

He never removes his eyes from Micah, they all yell something.

"Yurp, this guy right here is the Undisputed Bitch of the World."

He grinds out the cigarette.

"Allow me to congratulate you not only your ineptitude, but on being crowned Bitch of the World... your title and other luxuries as Title holder will be in the mail and will ship to you in five to ten business days."

Micah Castille just stares at Bubba j for a moment. He shakes his head and begins to leave the rampway area but before he does he stops and looks back at bubba and whispers..."You have no idea what is about to happen...but just you wait...just you wait.".

Micah walks through the curtains as the scene begins to fade.

Sexy Grandpa?


The scene opens up backstage to the office of the new General Manager Scott Nash Strader where we find the big man sitting behind his desk, feet up, scotch in hand and a file folder laying open on his lap. There is a knock. Scott stops reading and looks up to acknowledge it.

SNS: Come on in my door is always open. Unless your last name is Starr.

The door opens and the fans cheer loudly as Scott’s daughter and Simon’s wife Tamika walks in. Scott smiles widely getting up out of his chair giving his youngest (that we know of, this is Scott Nash Strader after all) child.

SNS: What are you doing here babygirl?

Tamika: Well I wanted to come by and see how things were treating you. Besides Simon is here somewhere in the building so I’m doing the good wife thing.

Scott motions for his daughter to sit and he takes his seat behind his desk.

SNS: How is my baby grandson?

Tamika: Growing like a weed. Aaron is just like his dad.

SNS: What? A one eyed black Nazi saluter?

Tamika: Firstly saluter is not even a word, and secondly no. He still has both his eyes. I also came by to give you a heads up.

He looks at her quizzically.

SNS: Warn me about what?

Tamika: Well your granddaughter heard you were back in town.

He gives her a confused look. She elaborates.

Tamika: Something about wanting to see her sexy ass grandpa.

SNS: Maya…

Tamika smiles at her old man and gets up.

Tamika: Yep, that is her. She likes you dad, watch yourself. I gotta run I’ll come by after the show.

Scott just kind half ass waves goodbye to his daughter as he sits there with a worried look on his face. Meanwhile Tamika chuckles on her way out the door.

Gunnar Kingsbury(c) & Cody Bogard(c) vs Johnny Maverick & Teddy Alexander

PWA Tag Team Title Match


Eric Emerson: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...WELCOME TO OTTAWA, ONTARIO...WELCOME TO THE CANADIAN TIRE CENTRE...WELCOME TO PWA RAMPAGE!!!!!

YOUR OPENING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL....AND IS FOR THE PWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

INTRODUCING FIRST...THE CHALLENGERS.....

Teddy Alexander emerges from the back to "In the Air Tonight" by Nonpoint, wearing a neck brace around his neck. He puts one hand on the top of his head and one on his chin, then jolts it to the opposite direction of the hands on top of his head. He trades positions with the hands and jolts it the other way. He begins to make his way towards the ring slowly, smiling sadistically at the fans as he does. About half-way down he points to his own neck with both hands before bringing them together and mimicking snapping something between his hands. When he gets to the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and gets to his feet, climbing the ringpost and grabbing the brace from his neck raising it high into the air above his head then with his other hand running a cutthroat gesture across his throat.

Eric Emerson: HE WEIGHS IN AT 286 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA...THIS IS TEDDY ALEXANDER!!!!!

"Earth Rocker" by Clutch plays as Johnny Maverick makes his way to the ring to a warm reception from the Ottawa crowd. He enters the ring, shakes hands with Alexander, and stretches a bit while he waits on his opponents.

Eric Emerson: HE WEIGHS IN AT 200 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM WASHINGTON, DC....HE IS THE ROCK AND ROLL OUTLAW...JOHNNY MAVERICK!!!!!

Eric Emerson: AND INTRODUCING THE CHAMPIONS

The arena lights dim as 'Hail to the King' by Avenged Sevenfold begins to play. A solitary spotlight shines on the entranceway as Gunnar Kingsbury steps out,

Watch your tongue or have it cut from your head
Save your life by keeping whispers unsaid
Children roam the streets now orphans of war
Bodies hanging in the streets to adore

Royal flames will carve a path in chaos,
Bringing daylight to the night
Death is riding into town with armor,
They've come to take all your rights

Hail to the king
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the king
(Hail! Hail! Hail!)
The King!

He steps through the ropes walks to center ring, the spotlight resting on him as he awaits Eric Emerson's introduction

Eric Emerson: LADIES AN GENTLEMEN...HE WEIGHS IN AT 247 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA...HE IS THE SELF PROFESSED KING...

Kingsbury snatches the mic from Emerson's hand and pushes him away.

SHUT YOUR MOUTHS...OPEN YOUR EYES....
AND JUST LOOK AT ME!
I STAND A STATUESQUE 6 FOOT 2 3/4 INCHES TALL...I WEIGH IN AT A PERFECTLY PROPORTIONED 247 POUNDS...I HAIL FROM THE HOTTEST, SEXIEST CITY IN THE WORLD...MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA...I AM THE KING OF WRESTLING....AND 1/2 OF THE PWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS....I AM GUNNAR KINGSBURY...
AND I.. AM.. APPALLED AT WHAT PASSES FOR HUMOR BY THAT LITTLE TROLL PEDRO GONZALES. I'M ISSUING A WARNING RIGHT NOW TO ANNA MATHEWS....PUT THAT LITTLE CHIHUAHA OF YOURS ON A SHORT LEASH OR YOU'LL FIND HIM FLOATING FACE DOWN IN A VAT OF NACHO CHEESE.....BUT ON TO THE BUSINESS AT HAND...EMERSON, JUST GO SIT DOWN, I'LL HANDLE THE INTRODCTION OF MY TAG TEAM PARTNER....HE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE PWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...AND IS THE CURRENT PWA GRIZZLY BEER CHAMPION...SORRY JOHNNY....HE IS ONE OF THE THREE GREATEST STARS TO COME OUT OF SAN MATEO, CALIFORNIA, BEHIND TOM BRADY AND THAT GUY FROM THE ALLSTATE COMMERCIALS....THIS IS CODY BOGARD....AND TOGETHER ....WE ARE THE TEAM KNOWN AS BOGUNNAR!!!

The lights suddenly dim down as the opening intro to Naked Arms plays. Once the intro finishes and goes into the main theme, smoke emerges from near the entrance way.

A figure emerges from the smoke, standing while looking at the fans as he stands in the shadows. The figure is seen as strobe lights go off to reveal Cody Bogard posing at the entrance way. Cody makes his way to the ring.


All those dreams, all of my hope, all life come undone
In a world beaten and broken I can see a rising sun
Burning down, scorching the earth, nowhere left to hide
Try to stop all this destruction, find a way, turn the tide
Reveal the bond that's made
Between the light and the shade


Cody makes his way over to the ring, springing up to the ring apron, climbing the turnbuckle and posing with his arms open in a pose.


Shining white and hot is a moon so unforgiving
The break of day will leave a scar
Nothing we belleve can protect us from tomorrow
Enjoy today from where we are

I will believe to the end
Even with my face pressed to the fire
I won't be shaken or moved
By the heat getting closer and higher

Sink or swim
Lose or win
Hold on with my naked arms


Cody jumps from the turnbuckle as he thrusts his arm into the air to a hail of cheers.


All those dreams, all of my hope, all life come undone
In a world beaten and broken I can see a rising sun
Burning down, scorching the earth, nowhere left to hide
Try to stop all this destruction, find a way, turn the tide
Reveal the bond that's made
Between the light and the shade


Cody takes his time to prepare for the match as the theme fades out.

Jon McDaniel: I think Anna and Pedro have gotten under someone's skin. What are you laughing at, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: I was just thinking of Pedro floating face down in nacho cheese. It brings a smile to my face.

Jon McDaniel: Which part? the Nacho cheese part? or the part about him being face down?

Brian Rentfro: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

Jon McDaniel: Heh heh heh.

DING DING!

Cody Bogard starts out with Johnny Maverick. The teacher and the student go at it in a virtual rematch from their Grizzly Beer Title match at X-mas @ Ground Zero. Bogard uses his fast pace high impact offense to get the upper hand on MaverickEric Emerson: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...WELCOME TO OTTAWA, ONTARIO...WELCOME TO THE CANADIAN TIRE CENTRE...WELCOME TO PWA RAMPAGE!!!!!

YOUR OPENING MATCH IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL....AND IS FOR THE PWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

INTRODUCING FIRST...THE CHALLENGERS.....

Teddy Alexander emerges from the back to "In the Air Tonight" by Nonpoint, wearing a neck brace around his neck. He puts one hand on the top of his head and one on his chin, then jolts it to the opposite direction of the hands on top of his head. He trades positions with the hands and jolts it the other way. He begins to make his way towards the ring slowly, smiling sadistically at the fans as he does. About half-way down he points to his own neck with both hands before bringing them together and mimicking snapping something between his hands. When he gets to the ring he rolls under the bottom rope and gets to his feet, climbing the ringpost and grabbing the brace from his neck raising it high into the air above his head then with his other hand running a cutthroat gesture across his throat.

Eric Emerson: HE WEIGHS IN AT 286 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM PHILADELPHIA PENNSYLVANIA...THIS IS TEDDY ALEXANDER!!!!!

"Earth Rocker" by Clutch plays as Johnny Maverick makes his way to the ring to a warm reception from the Ottawa crowd. He enters the ring, shakes hands with Alexander, and stretches a bit while he waits on his opponents.

Eric Emerson: AND INTRODUCING THE CHAMPIONS

The arena lights dim as 'Hail to the King' by Avenged Sevenfold begins to play. A solitary spotlight shines on the entranceway as Gunnar Kingsbury steps out,

Watch your tongue or have it cut from your head
Save your life by keeping whispers unsaid
Children roam the streets now orphans of war
Bodies hanging in the streets to adore

Royal flames will carve a path in chaos,
Bringing daylight to the night
Death is riding into town with armor,
They've come to take all your rights

Hail to the king
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the king
(Hail! Hail! Hail!)
The King!

He steps through the ropes walks to center ring, the spotlight resting on him as he awaits Eric Emerson's introduction

Eric Emerson: LADIES AN GENTLEMEN...HE WEIGHS IN AT 247 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA...HE IS THE SELF PROFESSED KING...

Kingsbury snatches the mic from Emerson's hand and pushes him away.

SHUT YOUR MOUTHS...OPEN YOUR EYES....
AND JUST LOOK AT ME!
I STAND A STATUESQUE 6 FOOT 2 3/4 INCHES TALL...I WEIGH IN AT A PERFECTLY PROPORTIONED 247 POUNDS...I HAIL FROM THE HOTTEST, SEXIEST CITY IN THE WORLD...MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA...I AM THE KING OF WRESTLING....AND 1/2 OF THE PWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS....I AM GUNNAR KINGSBURY...
AND I.. AM.. APPALLED AT WHAT PASSES FOR HUMOR BY THAT LITTLE TROLL PEDRO GONZALES. I'M ISSUING A WARNING RIGHT NOW TO ANNA MATHEWS....PUT THAT LITTLE CHIHUAHA OF YOURS ON A SHORT LEASH OR YOU'LL FIND HIM FLOATING FACE DOWN IN A VAT OF NACHO CHEESE.....BUT ON TO THE BUSINESS AT HAND...EMERSON, JUST GO SIT DOWN, I'LL HANDLE THE INTRODCTION OF MY TAG TEAM PARTNER....HE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE PWA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...AND IS THE CURRENT PWA GRIZZLY BEER CHAMPION...SORRY JOHNNY....HE IS ONE OF THE THREE GREATEST STARS TO COME OUT OF SAN MATEO, CALIFORNIA, BEHIND TOM BRADY AND THAT GUY FROM THE ALLSTATE COMMERCIALS....THIS IS CODY BOGARD....AND TOGETHER ....WE ARE THE TEAM KNOWN AS BOGUNNAR!!!

The lights suddenly dim down as the opening intro to Naked Arms plays. Once the intro finishes and goes into the main theme, smoke emerges from near the entrance way.

A figure emerges from the smoke, standing while looking at the fans as he stands in the shadows. The figure is seen as strobe lights go off to reveal Cody Bogard posing at the entrance way. Cody makes his way to the ring.


All those dreams, all of my hope, all life come undone
In a world beaten and broken I can see a rising sun
Burning down, scorching the earth, nowhere left to hide
Try to stop all this destruction, find a way, turn the tide
Reveal the bond that's made
Between the light and the shade


Cody makes his way over to the ring, springing up to the ring apron, climbing the turnbuckle and posing with his arms open in a pose.


Shining white and hot is a moon so unforgiving
The break of day will leave a scar
Nothing we belleve can protect us from tomorrow
Enjoy today from where we are

I will believe to the end
Even with my face pressed to the fire
I won't be shaken or moved
By the heat getting closer and higher

Sink or swim
Lose or win
Hold on with my naked arms


Cody jumps from the turnbuckle as he thrusts his arm into the air to a hail of cheers.


All those dreams, all of my hope, all life come undone
In a world beaten and broken I can see a rising sun
Burning down, scorching the earth, nowhere left to hide
Try to stop all this destruction, find a way, turn the tide
Reveal the bond that's made
Between the light and the shade


Cody takes his time to prepare for the match as the theme fades out.

Jon McDaniel: I think Anna and Pedro have gotten under someone's skin. What are you laughing at, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: I was just thinking of Pedro floating face down in nacho cheese. It brings a smile to my face.

Jon McDaniel: Which part? the Nacho cheese part? or the part about him being face down?

Brian Rentfro: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

Jon McDaniel: Heh heh heh.

DING DING!

Cody Bogard starts out with Johnny Maverick. The teacher and the student go at it in a virtual rematch from their Grizzly Beer Title match at X-mas @ Ground Zero. Bogard uses his fast pace high impact offense to get the upper hand on Maverick. Bogard hits a Tiger Suplex, then makes the tag to Kingsbury. Kingsbury pulls Maverick up and hits a series of bacbreakers, then goes for the pin. Maverick kicks out a 2 1/2. J-Mac begins to come back by firing off several kicks to the ribs of Gunnar, then a huge kick to the right side of his head.

Jon McDaniel: The disadvantage of having an eye covered.

Brian Rentfro: He never saw it coming.

Maverick grabs the double underhooks, leading many to believe he was going for the Perfect Armbar, but instead he hits a textbook suplex. Maverick tags Alexander in, and the big man goes to work on Kingsbury. He pulls Gunnar up and slams him into the corner. Alexander hits a series of forearm smashes, then finishes with a huge uppercut forearm that crumples Kingsbury. Alexander pulls Kingsbury up and latches on the bearhug. Kingsbury groans as Teddy increases the pressure. Kingsbury slaps Teddy's ears three times, loosening the grip of the bearhug. Gunnar lands a series of headbutts to free himself, then hits a belly to belly overhead suplex on Teddy. Gunnar makes the hot tag to Bogard.

Bogard hits the ring and begins to chip away at Alexander, with kicks to the knees, calves , and thighs. Bogard hits a drop kick to Teddy's knee that drops the big man. A dropkick to the head flips the former IC Champ on his back. Cody quickly exits the ring and hits a savage diving elbowdrop. The Main Event goes for the pin, but Maverick breaks up the pin attempt. This brings Kingsbury in and we have all four men fighting in the ring.

Cody and Alexander are on one side of the ring brawling, and Maverick and Gunnar are on the other side of the ring trading punches. Kingsbury gets the upper hand on Johnny. He whips Maverick across the ring, right at Alexander and Bogard. Cody dives out of the way just in time, as Johnny crashes into Teddy. Kingsbury charges the makeshift tag team, but Johnny moves out of the way, and Gunnar slams into Alexander with a huge splash.

Kingsbury charges Maverick, who ducks out of the way. Gunnar hits the ropes. Maverick charges at Kingsbury, attempting a Cactus clothesline. Gunnar ducks down and backdrops Johnny over the top rope to the floor. Alexander staggers out of the corner, as Cody slides in the ring. Gunnar runs over and hits the lungblower on Teddy. Alexander bounces off Gunnar's knees right into HERO TIME!

Bogard makes the cover as Kingsbury falls against the ropes.

1.....

Sykopath crawls out from under the ring, grabs Kingsbury's ankles and pulls him out of the ring.

2......

Sykopath drags Kingsbury under the ring

3!!!!!

Cody rolls off Alexander and raises his hand in victory. He begins to look around the ring for Gunnar. Suddenly, Sykopath pops up from under the ring. He points under the ring then turns and walks away.

Bogard hops out of the ring and looks under the ring. He frantically calls for help from the back. PWA officials run from the back. They pull Kingsbury from under the ring, and he is an absolute bloody mess. Blood is streaming from the area around his right eye. The protective padding is hanging off the side of his face. Kingsbury's forehead is also bleeding profusely.

Bogard slams the mat in anger and frustration as PWA trainers help Kingsbury to his feet, and help him to the back. but even with his partner hurt, Cody can't get any rest as he is spun around by Maverick and nails Cody with a kick to the midsection followed by the ABM. Cody is laid out on the floor and security jumps in front of Mav. Mav grabs the Grizzly Beer championship from the Ref and looks at it...then back at Bogard. He pats the title before tossing it towards Cody and leaving.

Alliance of Wrestling's Finest


Johnny walks to the back, his Hoodie Ninjas standing there waiting for him expectantly.

"It is in loss that we find our true selves. It is only our true selves who can attain victory. This is my lesson for the day." He says to them before walking past them and over to catering.

"Well well, didn't know they were serving Mexican." Johnny says.

The camera pans around to reveal Underground X owner, Cesar Salazar in the flesh. A good-sized pop from the audience prevents Cesar from immediately replying, but few seconds later, "Yeah. And a bit of American too. I'm here on business with Micah."

"That's nice. How've ya been, man?" says Johnny, extending a hand to Cesar. A somewhat surprising gesture given the brief history they had.

Nevertheless, Cesar firmly accepts the handshake with a polite smile. "Good, good... Hey, what's up with this tag team thing? Not to be rude, but curiously speaking, do you think you're done with Teddy?"

"I'd have to have had a thing with Teddy for me to be done. I was just thrown into this with no guidance or foreseeable direction. Apparently boss man doesn't like it when you beat his champion." Johnny says, rolling his eyes.

Understanding, Cesar nods while exhaling a breathy chuckle. "I saw that match. Beating Bubba at his own hardcore game, too. It's no surprise wrestling fans are rumoring you as the next World Championship contender."

"Yeah well, there's a big difference between rumor and reality. Wouldn't want to get in the way of Emperor Ian's big shot." Johnny says, the words not intended to be disdainful but certainly sound sour on his tongue.

"Ian, huh?" Cesar's right eyebrow quirks; the formerly polite smile widens with a tinge of amusement. "You know, John, UX is now in relations with PWA. And I - being a businessman - see opportunity when it's presented." At the same time, Cesar whips out his smartphone like it's a swiss blade. "We should exchange numbers."

Johnny takes a moment to think it over before pulling out his phone.

"Yeah, alright."

Welcome (Back) To The Simon Kalis Show


Brian Rentfro: What a show we’ve got lined up for folks here tonight, Jon.

Jon McDaniel: Without question one of the best Rampage lineups we’ve seen. A tag team championship match, Matthew Engel versus Lucious Starr in our Spike Fight of the Night. A Falls Count Anywhere where Sykopath faces Joseph Simon. Not to mention, Anna Mathews takes on Emperor Ian in our main event with Bubba J as the special guest referee. Should be an epic night.

Suddenly a loud BANG shakes the entire arena and causes a small panic in the crowd. Things settle down, until all the lights go out. The ADCTron turns to static until slowly these words come to life over it.

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth. –Revelation 6:8

Jon McDaniel: What is happening?

Brian Rentfro: Maybe it has something to do with how Rampage ended last week? Is this The Satire?

“Master of Puppets” by Metallica hits over the sound system as the words are replaced with the burning skull of THE ORDER OF CHAOS! The crowd rises to their feet and the arena is filled with cheers, because if you remember anything about the Order’s war on the PWA it was how certain locations were pro-Order. The entire nation of Canada, being part of these places along with Los Angeles, New York and Chicago.

Brian Rentfro: ALL HAIL! ALL HAIL!

Jon McDaniel: Sit down, Brian!

There’s a thunderous roar and the crowd goes ballistic as the lights turn on, and out from side of the entrance ramp comes an Abrams tank. She is painted black, and flies a flag with the same skull of the OoC. A number of half-naked men come running out at either side of the tank with spears in their hands as they rush towards the ring and make a formation around it. The tank itself drives up onto the entrance ramp and begins crushing it under the weight of itself, the sound of the steel weakening can be clearly heard until the entire entrance ramp buckles under the pressure and is brought down in a massive heap of wreckage. The crowd goes wild as the tank slowly spins around and then moves forward toward the ring easily climbing over the mess it created.

Jon McDaniel: Oh good God Almighty. This is why we can’t have nice things.

The tank comes to a stop at ringside and out climbs Simon Kalis. He brushes off his suit as he walks off the tank and right onto the ring apron without ever setting foot on the ground. He enters the ring and waves to the cheering throngs of fans before being handed a microphone. He climbs up one of the turnbuckles, his knees resting against the middle turnbuckle as he leans forward and salutes the crowd.

Simon Kalis: WHY?! BECAUSE I’M SIMON FUCKING KALIS!

He jumps down and soaks up the cheering crowds love, circling the ring and stomping his foot down.

Simon Kalis: Oh yes. It’s good to be back in Canada.

This of course gives him another round of cheers.

Simon Kalis: This is Order of Chaos country. This is my base, my home.

Again he receives more cheering from the love struck crowd.

Simon Kalis: I was getting tired of Mexico City anyways. But my time in Underground X has allowed me to find myself. You see when I was last truly here in the PWA, I had bribed then President Rob Robinson with innumerable gifts. I had also pulled some under handed tricks on Fantastic Andy and we saw the end of that era in the PWA. I found myself with a comfortable position of power within the PWA once again and I faded away, in the hopes that my overshadowing presence having gone would allow the PWA to flourish. And here we are, it’s been working.

Jon McDaniel: Oh yes please tell us how the PWA’s success is all thanks to you.

Brian Rentfro: Shut up, Willy Wonka.

Simon Kalis: With the removal of the cancerous stains of the likes of David Blazenwing, Emily Corlen and Matt Stone we saw the first step in restoring this company we all love and adore. I in the meantime, maintained my power in Underground X and my presence was felt more keenly there than here. It’s not that I felt the PWA didn’t need me, but I felt the PWA would be better served if I wasn’t here every week reminding people of what someone with actual talent can do. You should start realizing I have my hands in everything, whether or not you see me.

He taps his eye patch.

Simon Kalis: I still see you all good enough with one eye. But recent events have forced my hand into the PWA. My looming match with Raizzor at Genesis notwithstanding, I sought to bring back a legend to the PWA to spice things up. That legend was Matthew Engel. He was after all bound to me since before REBEL Pro was sold out. I finally tracked him down and sent him here. Yet what I did not expect was my friend Benjamin Dyce to remain trapped in Rikers Island for the rest of his prison sentence. Nor him giving me his Golden Ticket, which now entitles me to a title shot of my choosing. I did however expect Engel to try to reach for his freedom. So this is where we are.

Simon lowers the microphone for a moment, staring out across at the sea of fans gathered here tonight.

Simon Kalis: Welcome back to the Simon Kalis Show, PWA. This night has only just begun.

Simon drops the microphone and smiles as “Master of Puppets” hits again. He gets back on the ring apron and back into his tank, with his men following behind as he drives off and away.

Jon McDaniel: I’m still wondering what this “position of power” he keeps talking about is. We all know Eli Storm owns the PWA, his father-in-law is the General Manager. What the hell is Simon Kalis that he thinks he can just come out and destroy things again?

Brian Rentfro: I think that might be a question you don’t want answered, Jon.

Sorry Joe


Jon McDaniel: Up next, Lean Bean Miller is going to talk to Mr. Americana. Tonight is the night that Bubba J hands Cindy Lou Jenkins over to her 'Special friend.'

Brian Rentfro: Ok, I got two questions. First, why are we still calling them Mr. Americana and Cindy Lou? By now everybody knows that he's Bodie Vera Cruz, and she's Cynthia Vera Cruz. Everybody, that I. except Bodie himself.

Jon McDaniel: In reality, that's a very good question. What's your next question?

Brian Rentfro: Do you think Cynthia or Cindy or whatever will want to go back to Bodie since she met Bubba's 'Special Friend?'

Jon McDaniel: You couldn't resist, could you?

Brian Rentfro: Apparently, neither could she.

Jon McDaniel: Let's just go up to the ring and Lean Bean Miller.

Lean Bean Miller: Wrestling fans, since the Killing House Match last month, my first guest has been relatively silent. He has had to spend the holidays alone since Bubba J won the 'services' of his 'special friend.' But tonight, he is reunited with his love, but what kind of reunion will it be after thirty days with the PWA World Champion, the Ragin Redneck, Bubba J. My guest at this time...Mr. Americana!

'Real American; by Rick Derringer plays as Mr. Americana walks out to a great reception from the Ottawa crowd. He high fives the fans as he makes his way to the ring. He enters the ring and shakes Miller's hand.

Lean Bean Miller: Tonight's the night Mr. Americana! The night you're reunited with your special friend, Cindy Lou Jenkins, after thirty days of doing God knows what with Bubba J.

Mr. Americana shoots an angry glance at Miller, then takes the mic.

Mr. Americana: WELL YA KNOW SOMETHIN' LEAN BEAN! I'VE BEEN WAITIN THIRTY LONG DAYS FOR THIS MOMENT, BROTHER! I'M AS NERVOUS AS I WAS ON OUR FIRST DATE, BROTHER! I CAN'T WAIT ANOTHER SECOND, BROTHER! BUBBA J, BROTHER! BRING MY SPECIAL FRIEND OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, BROTHER!

The crowd is cheering, waiting for Bubba to bring Cindy Lou out. But he doesn't bring her out.

Mr. Americana: BUBBA J! GET OUT HERE! BROTHER! BRING CINDY LOU OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, BROTHER!

'Alcohol' by The Dropkick Murphys plays as Bubba J walks out, arm in arm with Cindy Lou. Cindy Lou looks exhausted. Her hair is matted. Her dress is ripped up the side. She leans on Bubba for support as the pair make their way to the ring. Mr. Americana is incensed.

Brian Rentfro: Looks like Bubba gave Cindy a little goin away present.

Jon McDaniel: Disgusting.

Cindy enters the ring and begins to walk towards Mr. Americana, but Bubba takes her by the arm and leads her over to the corner. She leans against the corner. Bubba takes a mic.

Bubba J : Hey there. buddy. I'm bringin her back to ya just like I promised. But after the last month with me, I doubt there's any way you can keep her happy like I did.

Mr. Americana is livid. Lean Bean Miller has a huge grin on his face, as he loves the drama.

Mr. Americana: LISTEN HERE, BROTHER! YOU HAND HER OVER TO ME RIGHT NOW, BROTHER! I HONORED MY WORD AND DIDN'T INTERFERE WITH THE TWO OF YOU THIS PAST MONTH. YOU DIDN'T DO ALL THOSE THINGS TO HER, BROTHER. SHE WOULDN'T HAVE LET YOU. CINDY LOU, HE DIDN'T, DID HE? YOU DIDN'T LET HM, DID YOU?

Bubba J: Listen, I wanted to come out here earlier, but I had to come back there first, if ya know what I mean! That should tell you how we rolled over the past month.

He slaps Cindy on the behind , causing her to stumble forward into Mr. Americana's arms. She looks up at him, tears, rolling down her cheeks. He looks at her, tears rolling from under the mask. He stands her up, then takes a step or two back. He removes the cheesy mustache off his face, then removes the mask.

Brian Rentfro: SEE! I told you it was him under that mask!
Jon McDaniel: Thanks, Sir Points Out the Obvious-a lot.

Cindy takes a step towards Americana, but he holds up a hand in front of her and shakes his head no. She takes another step towards him with her arms open, her body heaving with sobs. Mr. A yells at her to stop.

Lean Bean Miller: But, this is what you've agonized the past month over. She's here, now. What are you doing?

Mr. Americana" I'm facing reality. I'm facing the reality that no matter what I do....no matter how hard I fight...I can't protect Cindy....Cynthia.....Thindy Lou Jenkinth.....CINDY, BROTHER!....Cindy...Thindy Lou, Cynthia.....AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!

Americana grabs his head and hits his knees, yelling in what appears to be in severe pain.

Bubba: HEY! C'MON, MAN! SHE'S BACK, YOU DUMBASS! JUST TAKE HER HOME AND TAKE CARE OF HER, YOU DUMB SUMBITCH!

Cindy: YOU SHUT UP, YOU BASTARD! YOU'VE DONE THIS TO HIM! YOU TELL HIM THE TRUTH! YOU TELL HIM THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW!

Lean Bean Miller is eating this up. He sees Americana trying to get to his feet, and tries to help.

Lean Bean Miller: Mr. Americana? Are you ok?

Mr. Americana: Who?

Lean Bean Miller: Mr. Americana? Are....you.....ok?

Mr. Americana: Who's Mr. Americana? Who are you? Who are all you people? Who are all those people out there? Where the hell am I? WHO THE HELL AM I? I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM! IT'S GETTING HARD TO BREATHE!

Mr. Americana gets out of the ring, tripping on the ropes as he does. The PWA medical team comes out to check him over, but he is having none of it, he finally shoves them all out of the way and begins to run aimlessly, trying to find a way out of the arena.

Cindy/Cynthia yells at Mr. A.

Cindy: BODIE....WAIT! DON'T GO!

She tries to go after him, but Bubba grabs her by the arm. She turns around to see Bubba smirking and shaking his head no.

Cindy: LET ME GO, YOU BASTARD! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I'VE GOT TO GO AFTER HIM! THAT'S MY HUSBAND, DAMMIT!

Cindy goes to slap him, but Bubba catches her wrist. He grabs her by the arms and pulls her close to him.

Bubba: I'll go get him, you get back home to your little girl.

Groups of building security and PWA officials and road agents try to stop Mr. A from getting out of the arena, but he runs through them like Barry Sanders through the Packer defense, and out the Canadian Tire Centre.

Lean Bean Miller is so giddy to be in on this "news story" instead of Bud Adams, he can hardly contain himself.

Lean Bean Miller: Well, well, well. This is definitely a shocking turn of events, isn't it Cindy Lou? Cindy Lou? CINDY LOU! I'M TALKING TO YOU.

She turns and basically punts Miller's balls into his throat. Miller doubles over.

Cindy: MY NAME IS CYNTHIA....CYNTHIA VERA CRUZ!

Cynthia brings a knee up into Miller's face. Miller falls back into the ropes. As he 'bounces' off the ropes, he staggers right into Trailer Park Trash!

Bubba grabs the mic and looks down at the unconscious Miller.

Bubba J: Now THAT'S a shocking turn of events! Jon, Brian...back to you.

They both exit the ring and run to the back.

Jon McDaniel: I think Miller leaned a lesson tonight. You don't mess around with Bubba J or Cynthia Vera Cruz.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, and if you do, either empty your bladder before hand or don't wear tan pants.

Jon McDaniel: Good point, Brian

Sykopath vs Joseph Simon

Falls Count Anywhere Match


The falls count anywhere match between Joseph Simon and Sykopath started before the introductions were even done, leading Eric Emerson to exit the ring, pouting. The two PWA Superstars fight their way from the back through the entrance way and immediately into the crowd. Security has the unenviable task of keeping the fans safe as the two brawlers swing chairs at each other. after about two minutes of the fighting, both men are bleeding. The fight carries on out the main arena area into one of the concession areas. Syko and Simon are brawling in front of Smoke's Poutinerie. Sykopath bodyslams Simon onto the serving counter, reducing it to rubble, and sending concession workers scurrying in different directions. Sykopath walks by Joseph and samples some of the poutine. It brings a smile to his face. The smile fades when Simon punches him in the crotch, causing him to expel the cheesy, gravy topped potato treat right into Simon's face. Syko punches Joseph in the face. He wipes the regurgitated poutine off Simon's face, and eats it again.

Simon gets to his feet and hits a tackle on Sykopath that would make Chip Cox proud, sending the Haitian into the wall of the arena. He pulls Sykopath up and rams his bloody head into the wall several times, before trying for the pin. Referee Daniel Davis makes the count, but Syko kicks out at 2. Sykopath makes it to his feet and snatches the camera away fro the camera man. He blast Simon with it. But instead of going for the pin, Sykopath turns the camera on himself.

Sykopath: PREPARE YE HIS WAY! MAKE YOURSELVES CLEAN! TURN YOUR HEARTS TOWARDS HIM AND YOU WILL BE SAVED FROM THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE DAY OF HIS WRATH!

Sykopath slams the camera into Simon's midsection several times, then goes for the pi, but only gets a 2 count.

Sykopath grabs Simon and drags him over to the Pizza Pizza concession. He goes to bodyslam Simon through that counter as well, but Simon blocks and spinebusters Sykopath through the counter instead. Simon shoves thos few workers who stick around to be on TV out of the way, and grabs a cheese grater. Simon takes the grater and begins shredding the forehead of Sykopath. Blood streams down Sykopath's head, but he doesn't scream out in pain. Joseph turns the grater and uses the slicer section on the side on the left arm of the Haitian nightmare. He pulls Syko up and hits a tombstone piledriver on the floor. Davis tries to get into position to make a count, but slips on some spilled pzza sauce. Simon gives up the pin attempt and decides to deliver more punishment. He doesn't see that Syko has grabbed two pizza pans. Syko pushes Joseph away, then slams the pans on either side of Joseph's head. Joseph is stunned, his equilibrium gone. Sykopath begins slamming the pizza pans against joseph's head. Simon falls to his knees. Sykopath grabs a pizza cutter and begins to slice Simon's head up. As Sykopath did earlier, Simon takes the punishment without crying out at all.

The two brawl away from the concession area and towards the bathroom...the women's bathroom. females of all ages, shapes, sizes and ranges of attractiveness run from the bathroom as Syko and Simon battle their way into the restroom. Sykopath rams Simon's head into a mirror, shattering it into pieces. Sykopath grabs a shard of the mirror and begins to stab and slice the arm of Joseph Simon. Simon works his way through the pain and gets to his feet. He kicks Syko in the stomach, then bites his arm until Syko drops the glass shard. He grabs Sykopath and slings him into the other mirrors over the sinks, shattering them and cutting his back in various places.

Simon drags Sykopath out of the restroom and slams him into a nearby wall. Simon goes for a yakuza kick, but Sykopath sidesteps him and uses a reverses legsweep to implant Simon's face into the wall. Simon drops down to his knees, his face now open. Sykopath looks at Simon's bloody face and notices that he is smiling. Skyopath starts to fire kick after kick at the head of Simon. With each kick, Simon's neck snaps back and blood flies. Sykopath goes for one more kick and Simon grabs his leg and bites it. Skyopath drops down and Simon starts to drive his fist into the bite wound on Skyopath's leg.

Simon wipes the blood from his face and stomps the bite wound before smashing open a fire extinguisher case. Simon slams the extingiusher down on Sykopath's back before punt kicking him in the ribs, forcing him to turn over. Simon lifts up sykopath and goes to fling him into the wall, but Sykopath counters it into a spine buster. Or at least that is what he has been trying to do when Simon hooks the ehad and slaps on a standing guillotine. Simon fires a few knees into the ribs of Sykopath.

Simon: Where has his words gotten you now!?! WHERE HAS IT GOTTEN YOU KNOW!!!!

Simon yanks in the hold deeper and it looks like Sykopath is about to pass out when Simon just kicks him in the midsection.

Simon: Simon says...fall down, heh.

Sykopath is laying, curled up in a fetal position, his hands folded in front of him. Simon pulls him up, but Syko launches a fireball at him. Simon throws his arm up in front of his face, his arm taking the fireball. Simon doubles over holding his arm. Sykopath grabs Simon, pick him up into powerbomb position , driving his head into the ceiling, then hits a sitout powerbomb to the concrete floor. Syko hooks his feet over Simon's shoulders as Referee Davis counts the three.

Syko gets to his feet and Davis raises his and in victory. Syko grabs Davis by the throat, picks him up and slams him against the bathroom wall. Davis's face quickly turns red, then a color closer to purple.

Sykopath: REPENT! PREPARE YOUR SOUL FOR HIS JUDGEMENT!

Davis's eyes roll back in his head as he passes out. Sykopath walks out of the bathroom, singing

♫Glory Glory Hallelujah
Glory Glory Hallelujah
Glory Glory Hallelujah
HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON!♫

Off To See The Wizard


The cameras in the parking garage catch a black Order of Chaos emblazoned ducati pulling in. Fearing the worst, PWA security soon swoops in on the acene, guns drawn. The man on the bike laughs beneath hia helmeyt.

Security Dude A: Simon Kalis! Drop any weapona you may be concea...

The biker removes his helmet, revealing a laughing Lucious Starr. He shakes his head, pulling the Intercontinental Title from a saddle bag.

Lucious Starr: Nice job, fellas. You successfully surrounded the wrong guy AND displayed the racist mindset towards a black guy.

Security Dude 2: Racist? Kalis has been known to carry firearms on his person, and w...

Lucious Starr: The only weapon Aaron Simon Kalis is holding nowadays is his bottle of Cialis. Now if you'll excuse me.

Security Dude D: Sir, Mr Strader would like to see you in his office.

Lucious Starr: If that hardheaded jackass wants to talk to me, he can be the one coming to track me down. Fuck Scotty Strader. Bitch.

Lucious continues into the building, laughing and shaking his head.

Pre-Recorded...


A meeting has been called with the board of directors over at the Grizzly Beer brewing company, the makers of Grizzly Beer.

Head Board Member: "Ladies and gentlemen, our sales have been on the decline and we are in need of something to pick sales up. Now while some of the ideas that we have heard seem to have promise, I'm going to be honest here and say that they all suck. With that in mind, I have called in a special guest to help out here."

We see the back of a chair turning around to reveal the Grizzly Beer champion, Cody Bogard.

Cody: "Yo!"

Murmurs can be heard from the board members wondering what is the meaning of this

Cody: "Now this may seem a little unconventional, but it couldn't hurt to listen to some input here to the current title holder of the Grizzly Beer title. What you have here is someone with a very strong and loyal fanbase, but there is the slight problem that not every person that is a fan of the Grizzly Beer champ is of legal age to drink or is all that big on beer."

Random Board Member: "What do you expect, we are in the beer making business."

Cody: "Which is part of the problem and what I have here to pick things up is something that may seem weird but believe me when I say that this will work. We take a page out of the playbook of a foreign brewery and expand the brand to non-alcoholic fare."

Random Board Member: "Madness! You are insane for suggesting such a thing!"

Cody looks on with puzzlement, slipping off his trademark sunglasses and hanging them on his shirt. Standing from his seat and walking over to the person that said those words.

Cody: "Just want to ask one quick thing here. Have you gone through a brutal and antagonizing hell life of a wrestler? Have you had to bust your ass to get to this level of the game? Have you had to fight off all comers that wanted to get their grimy little mitts on this belt here?"

The person shakes their heads out of fear and embarrassment

Cody: "Good, because if there is one thing that I didn't want to create, that would be an incident that would cause even greater issues for this compa-"

Just then the head of the board comes in to whisper something to Bogard

Cody: "What's that? Really? Written into the contract? Huh, the things you learn."

Bogard starts walking back to his seat, turning around and nailing the unsupportive member with the Hero Time. The rest of the board watches on in surprise at what just happened. Bogard gets right back up, dusting himself off and heads back to his seat.

Cody: "Apparently, there was a rule buried in the contract stating that I was entitled to one freebie against anyone that was against any ideas suggested by the Grizzly Beer champion. Wish I knew about that the first time I won the title. Anywho, back to the business at hand here, what I suggest is offering some non-alcoholic stuff that can be advertized by yours truly. Get those people that might be a little iffy to Grizzly Beer to try some of the other options by this great company. Wouldn't hurt would it?"

More murmurs can be heard at the idea

Cody: "Mind you, if you reject the idea...."

Cody points over at the unconscious fool that spoke up against Bogard, then to the slumping sales numbers

An ad plays

Ad Narrator: "NEW! From the makers of Grizzly Beer, comes some new offerings for those that strive for the best that the Grizzly Beer brewing company has to offer. Something with that "Main Event" appeal and never say die taste that you've come to believe in."

*Scenes of Bogard wrestling appears on screen before focusing on the Crisis Ace reaching for a bottle of Grizzly Root Beer, chugging the drink.*

Cody: "A main event calibur drink for those with that main event thirst."

Ad Narrator: "Grizzly Root Beer and for those wanting something a little lighter, Diet Grizzly Root Beer! You can find these at every major market."

The Main Eventer


Knock! Knock! Knock! Came a knock upon the door of the commissioner.Poor ol' Sns never catches a break, why did he agree to this again? It must be the fat check. Yes, certainly the fat check. The knocks came more rapidly and and in a very obnoxious rhythm. Scott ripped a loud sigh from his lips when the knocks became a rendition of 'popcorn'

Scott Nash Strader: Come in!

Scott finally snapped off with a growl. And in comes the one. The only. Sir Figgles. Enjoying his time off in a blue velvet ball gown. Scott facepalmed and made no move to hide it.

Scott Nash Strader: I wasn't the one who spiked your meds this time,Figgy.

Figgins pauses, his eyebrow wandering upward. Wondering if he was on the peruvian marching dust again. But seeing as he wasn't ordering everything from the concession stand, filling an office full of live chickens, or discussing the nuances of advanced metaphysics with a metallic postage receptacle.It was a pretty good sign that he was sober. Just a weird dude with a dress, who couldn't use drugs as an excuse. Figgins shook his head and produced a piece of paper from a small purse.

Figgins: Intercontenental Title Shot at Genesis? It's better for someone else. I made it clear. I am not taking anything less than a world title shot. And I am not leaving your office until I get it.

Scott Nash Strader: A lot of balls for a man in a dress. But, that's not how things work around here, Figgy. You that standing in my office demanding things doesn't get you a damn thing. You failed to get the golden ticket, sucks for you.

Figgins slams his hands on the desk, Strader was unmoved by the whole thing. But Figgy decided to carry on anyway.

Figgy: Who do YOU got lined up to headline Genesis? I was electrifying crowds here for five years. I am a Who's the Man finalist. The other one decided that it wasn't important to him and kicked rocks. And what happens? I watched as people who didn't even make it past the first round get their shot. And now you fucks expect me to wait again cause a revolving door of vets are coming through? Fuck them. I've been here for this company when it wasn't doing great. When it was struggling. These fucks come in once they get enough zeros on their signing bonus.

SNS: Ok Figgy, you can talk a big game. You got a world title match at Genesis. But, you will be paying for it from this week on. You won't be able to wait for your match, so your torment can finally end.

Figgins lays the contract on Scotts desk. A shrug rolling from his shoulders

Figgy: Bring it on buddy




Murmuring and mumbling, here the transition period between matches you can find various individuals making a break for the bathroom and concession stands. Impatient they find themselves scurrying like little mice, entwined in beer and smoke breaks, eccentric. It's here that a slow hypnotic ticking noise slowly fades into being. The hard cluck of a clock pounds in through repetition, refusing to be ignored. The cat like curiosity spawns spontaneous head twitches, where is it coming from? The PWA-tron erupts into white noise and a static image, then, clearly displayed, a clock. Its purpose is momentarily revealed as the familiar distorted voice from X-Mas at Ground Zero, returns.

"Frozen in fiction, a fallacy. The mentality that a Satire, is funny, breathes an archaic paradigm; In fact Satires can be anything but. The mockery you find in a mirror is very real and harsh, it's cold and blunt. A catalyst to truth, a Satire is the tool to ignored enlightenment. Strapping you in, forcing it's self upon your senses and idealisms, a satire offers an alternative opinion. Sure, it's the passive aggressive approach to change, but what can I say, I'm tired. The alchemic mixture of bitterness, envy, greed, and wrath; purposed and delivered as a self-righteous decree, I wish it hadn't come to this...

But you'll have to forgive me, I tried it your way.

I hear Matthew Engle sputter out a completely ignorant promotional video, filled with bleeding propaganda and misconceptions. With one hand on the book and one in the air, I implore you, preach to us Matthew. Do as I did, and become wounded as I did.These moral filled verbose rants littered with creed and intent, oblivious to the reality of everything consuming itself around you, they're placeholders for maturity. You've returned to the land of the Pioneers and you've brought with you archaic ideologies. There is no honor amongst cockroaches, you will NOT find salvation in their hearts; you'll find me.

I tried to live by your morals. I attempted to breath your air and see your world, but it rejected me. I preached your message, but It was hollow. This is the land where Pioneers would lay the foundation of those after, but the seeds they decided to plant were traitorous selfish mementos of ego's long past. I put effort into my livelihood, I put pride in it, but you've all tore it to shreds. And there was no amusement in it. The world around me became a mockery and contradiction, a joke. It was as if I was being parodied, as if things were being done in a complete cognitive Satire. As if the PWA cast me as their jester.

Sadly, I'm not a funny man, I'm not here for your amusement, and I'm sure as hell not here to crack jokes and juggle fallacies for opportunities. I am just the result of your cynical life and your barbaric morals. So now, In light of what's become, the only thing left between you all and the consequences of your actions, is the ticking of a clock.

Lucius Starr'c' vs Matthew Engel

Spike Fight of the Night


Eric Emerson: Introducing first! He hails from Cleveland, Ohio! Lucious Starr!

Cee Lo Green’s “Fuck You!” begins to play as Lucious Starr steps out from the back on the right side of the broken down entrance ramp and makes his way to the ring, observing the destruction and rolling his eyes. He hoists up the Intercontinental title, much to the boos of the crowd here in Ottawa.

Jon McDaniel: Don’t think they quite like the fact he stole Anna’s title.

Brian Rentfro: No that’s pretty obvious isn’t it?

Starr circles the ring, dropping the title off at ringside before sliding in.

Eric Emerson: And his opponent, he hails from Bailey’s Bay, Bermuda!

“Before I Forget” by SlipKnot hits and the crowd responds a bit mixed, some boo while some cheer as Matthew Engel appears from the left side of the broken down entrance ramp completely ignoring the damage as he makes his way to the ring with a purpose. He climbs the steps and gets into the ring, never taking his eyes off of Lucious Starr.

Brian Rentfro: Oh Engel looks like he can’t wait to rip into Starr as these two circle each other in the ring. I need some popcorn.

Jon McDaniel: Anyone else thinking back to Who’s The Man?! 2011 where Engel defeated Starr for the title of Franchise and the vacant PWA World title?

Brian Rentfro: Good times!

DIN-

Yet before the bell can even begin to ring to start the match, “Master of Puppets” by Metallica hits over the speakers once more and the crowd rises to their feet yet again. Immediately both Engel and Starr turn away from each other and face what’s left of the entrance stage.

Brian Rentfro: Ohhhhh yeaaaaaah! LOOK JON!

Jon McDaniel: What the… It’s… Raining in the arena?

Brian Rentfro: It isn’t raining just anything, Jon!

Brian Rentfro jumps out of his seat and begins grabbing them Bordens, the brown $100 Canadian dollar bank notes that begin falling down. This sends the fans into a craze as they begin jumping up and trying to grab as many of the $100 bills as they can. Even inside the ring, the money falls and Starr casually stuffs some down his pants. Engel ignores the raining money, his gaze not leaving the entrance as a formation of twenty shirtless men armed with spears and leather helms stand lined up against either side of the barricades. Simon Kalis finally appears from the right side of the broken down entrance ramp; he struts out with massive wads of cash in each hand and begins throwing it at the fans. The whole arena is cheering raucously; the armed men slam the butts of their spears into the ground with one arm and salute Simon Kalis Order of Chaos style as he passes by them. He stops at the ring and blows Matthew Engel a kiss and gives Lucious Starr the finger before circling around and joining Brian Rentfro and Jon McDaniel at the announcers table. His armed men surround the entire ring and aim their spears at the ring, leaning forward and prepared to deliver a killing blow at a moment’s notice. Simon unbuttons his suit jacket and leans back, putting one arm over the shoulder of Jon McDaniel and the other over Brian Rentfro:

Simon Kalis: Ah, I couldn’t ask for better seats. How you guys doing?!

Brian Rentfro: Awesome as ever Simon! You’re so generous to your Canadian people!

Simon Kalis: I figured I owed these folks for earlier.

Jon McDaniel: Uhm… Yeah. I don’t think Engel is happy to see you. Or the armed guards you picked up out of Somalia either.

Simon Kalis: I’m sure if his penis hadn’t shrunk so much from the roids, he’d be pissing himself right now. Besides, they’re from Zimbabwe you ignorant piece of shit.

DING DING DING

Engel the ever consummate veteran immediately puts Simon out of his mind and rushes at Lucious Starr and takes him down with a clothesline. From the canvas Starr grabs Engel by the tights and tries rolling him up for a quick victory but only gets a 1 count as Engel immediately kicks out. Engel back to his feet as is Starr and Engel with a kick haymaker shocks Starr hard and sends him into a corner turnbuckle. Engel rushes forward but Starr puts a boot up and catches Engel across the chin, sending the former PWA World Champion to the canvas. Starr quickly jumps up, sitting on the top turnbuckle before falling forward and putting an elbow out that crashes hard into Engel’s chest. Engel throws Starr off of him and rubs his chest before rolling out of the ring onto the apron. However he is immediately jabbed with a spear but not hard enough to break skin, which forces him right back into the ring. Even Starr steps back to eyeball these spear wielding guards with caution.

Jon McDaniel: How come Dwayne Cross didn’t call for the bell? That was a clear disqualifying move.

Simon Kalis: Because Cross knows who pays his bills.

Jon McDaniel: Do you mean you’ve paid him off?

Simon Kalis: I pay you too, Jon. When are you going to realize I can do whatever the fuck I want?

Brian Rentfro: Yeah! This is like some ancient Rome thing, right? I like it!

Engel argues with Dwayne Cross who shrugs and points to Simon.

Simon Kalis: Exactly.

Engel leans over the ropes and begins giving Simon a piece of his mind, but Simon merely waves and points behind him as Lucious charges Engel. Engel ducks pulling the top rope down and sending Starr over the top to the outside. Yet the guards step back and raise their spears so as not to impale Starr because God forbid he died of all people. Starr gets to his feet and looks around as the armed men swarm him and point their spears back towards the ring. Starr begins walking in between them and realizes there’s no reaction. He goes over towards the fans and looks at Engel, then at Simon and then punches a fan wearing an OoC eye patch. This doesn’t get him the response he thought he’d get from this Canadian, thus clearly pro-Order of Chaos crowd. He then grabs another fan and rips their shirt off of them. He holds it up to reveal it’s an Eli Storm shirt which he rips in half much to the crowds enjoyment.

Jon McDaniel: What happened to the wrestling match? Do you see what happens when you show up Simon? Madness. Utter madness. And to think you’d basically be helping Lucious Starr just to egg Matthew Engel on is an atrocious thought!

Simon ignores Jon and pulls out a pen and a notepad from his breast pocket as Engel sits up on one of the turnbuckles, staring at Simon coldly.

Brian Rentfro: It’s not so bad. Anyone who actually paid money for an Eli Storm shirt deserves to have it ripped before their eyes to remind them of the terrible decisions they’ve made in life.

Simon begins taking notes as Starr continues this little show, as he begins taunting The Virus from outside the ring. Simon whistles and immediately two of the armed men spin around and point their spears at Lucious Starr. Starr pauses, as the armed men point him towards the ring. Starr thus slides back into the ring where he’s met with a swift soccer kick to his face from Matthew Engel. Engel lifts Starr up and grapples, taking him up into the air and slamming him down HARD with a snap suplex that shakes the ring. Engel gets back to his feet and Starr kicks Engel in the back of the knee to take him off his footing. Starr gets back to his feet quickly and before Engel can recover Starr with an implant DDT also shakes the ring, this time it’s Engel’s head making the earthquake. Starr follows it up with a sleeper hold and begins wrenching it as Engel reaches his arms out and Dwayne Cross checks on Engel.

Brian Rentfro: So what’d you think of Starr’s idea to steal the Intercontinental title and declare himself Champion, Simon?

Simon Kalis: He’s a fucking moron. He can’t ever win anything so he resorts to theft to get things. He won’t even beat Engel tonight, surely unless I save his ass. Just like how I gave him his one and only PWA World title reign, and was there for every match he defended it to make sure he could hold onto it until I no longer needed him. Also he’s from Ohio. I probably should’ve just led with that and saved myself the breath.

Jon McDaniel: Ouch.

Simon Kalis rises from his seat at the announcers table and throws the headset off. He casually strolls past the armed men he’s placed at ringside, whistling as he does so and climbs up onto the ring apron. He enters the ring and Lucious Starr lets go of Engel and gets to his feet, protesting Simon’s presence in the ring. Simon immediately pulls out the 9mm pistol he has holstered and aims for Starr. Starr laughs, knowing Simon wouldn’t be that dumb but instead Simon Kalis fires a single shot which penetrates Lucious Starr’s skull. He gets 2Pac’d and he stumbles back, the blood seeping down over his face from the single bullet hole in his forehead until he completely drops back and falls to the canvas. Engel quickly moves to a corner turnbuckle in complete shock as the crowd cheers wildly. Simon Kalis walks up to Lucious Starr’s twitching corpse and empties the rest of the clip into his chest. He drops the gun and offers a hand to Matthew Engel. Engel grabs hold and rises up as “The World Is Mine” by Hatsune Miku hits and Simon Kalis and Matthew Engel begin a dance number over Lucious Starr’s corpse to the wild cheering of the crowd. UX Superstar Vega shows up from the crowd and slides into the ring with a knife, immediately carving Lucious Starr up and eating his entrails as Dwayne Cross calls for the bell, declaring Simon Kalis the winner somehow while Matthew Engel and Simon Kalis twerk at either side of Vega as he enjoys Lucious Starr’s delicious kidney.

Simon Kalis: At least I think that’d be a much more entertaining end to this match instead of this sleeper hold shit.

Jon McDaniel: Jesus Christ.

Brian Rentfro: The dance number you’d have with Engel at the end would be the icing on the cake in my opinion.

Yet what is truly happening in the ring is Engel begins elbowing Starr blindly until Starr releases the sleeper hold and falls back. Engel quickly moves away and then back to his feet as Starr charges him. Engel however grabs Starr and delivers a devastating power slam. Engel covers but only gets a 2 count as Starr kicks out. Starr rolls away and Engel gets back to his feet. Starr bounces off the ropes and suddenly hits Anna Mathews’ BOOMERFLY KICK on Matthew Engel, sending him down to the canvas! Starr takes a moment to taunt Anna at the camera as he motions a belt around his waist before dropping to his knees and covering Matthew Engel, but as it were he only gets a 2 count.

Jon McDaniel: Starr may want to tread carefully there.

Brian Rentfro: I don’t think he knows the meaning of careful.

Simon Kalis: Lucious Starr doesn’t know anything.

Both men are back to their feet and locking horns, a power struggle ensuing between the two fairly large men. However the grapple is broken and Matthew Engel begins throwing a series of lefts and rights that send Starr’s head spinning in circles. Engel grabs Starr from behind as Starr spins around from the heavy hits and lays him out with a German suplex. Engel climbs up to the top rope and jumps off with a mesmerizing leg drop, immediately covering Lucious Starr and seeking an end to things. Yet this only gets him a 2 count.

Jon McDaniel: Just curious, why are you all over FOX News Simon?

Simon Kalis: Because I’m Simon Kalis and I transcend wrestling you fucking pleb.

Brian Rentfro: Lawl. I’m more interested in how much money you dropped in the arena.

Simon Kalis: A bit over $2 million dollars. Chump change.

Brian and Jon’s eyes widen and they remain speechless as in the ring Lucious Starr rubs his throat as he rolls away. Engel is back to his feet and as Starr and Engel meet in the center of the ring Lucious Starr connects with a vicious spinebuster on The Virus. He follows it up by mounting the Hall of Famer and delivering a series of lefts and rights of his own this time until Engel out of sheer power launches Starr off of him. Engel makes his way to the top rope as Starr gets to his feet and flies off with a stunning missile dropkick, connecting right with Lucy’s face.

Simon Kalis: Look, Bane can fly.

Brian Rentfro: Hahahaha! Bane! Because he’s so muscular now! And he flew! Good one, Mr. Kalis!

Jon McDaniel: Oh Lord…

Starr hits the canvas hard and rubs his mouth as blood begins leaking out of his face. He pulls himself back up to his feet and both men charge head on. Starr attempts Hells Wrath, but Engel reverses and lays him out with SONS OF PLUNDER! The crowd goes wild as Engel immediately covers, hooking both legs.

1!

2!!

3!!!

Simon Kalis: Bravo, Arnold.

Eric Emerson: The winner of this match, MATTHEW ENGEL!!!

Handicap Tour of America presented by AT&T. Quit fucking listening to those Verizon commercials!


he scene opens up backstage as Scott Nash Strader roams through the halls. Bud Adams comes running up to him slightly out of breath.

Bud Adams: Mr. Strader… huff… Scott. Can I get a… wheeze…

SNS: Yes, catch your damn breath though; you sound like my wife after I laid the carpet.

The crowd chuckle and Bud straightens himself out.

Bud Adams: Scott, it’s been a few weeks now since you have been in charge. You have been a lot quieter compared to previous management personnel, why is that?

SNS: I am not in love with the sound of my own voice like a number of people are. You can quietly run a show as long as the product is moving in the right direction and it is for the most part.

Bud Adams: What is not running to your satisfaction in the PWA?

SNS: I want to clarify, everything is ran well from the road crew who puts the arenas together to our announce crew who call the action for the people at home. What I should have said is there is one person on this roster that has completely forgotten it is a fucking privilege to be able to do what our superstars do.

Bud Adams: Matthew Engel?

SNS: No, that son of a bitch unfortunately has earned the right to turn the table on that scenario. No, I am speaking about Shadow Starr.

Bud Adams: You mean Lucious Starr?

SNS: Don’t be correcting me Bud. No, I will call him Shadow Starr until the end of time because he isn’t Morgan Freeman in the Batman movies. It is a stupid name. Well, so is Shadow Starr, but that isn’t the reason I want to kick him in the crotch until he gets his first period.

Bud Adams: Jesus Scott, why don’t you just tell us how you really feel?

Strader glares at Bud, but the reporter doesn’t back down. Thank you Project X.

SNS: His utter lack of disrespect. How he stole the World title from Riona Langly in such a cowardly way to just last week taking the Intercontinental belt from its Champion. I am tired of it Bud. I can honestly say the fans are tired of it, because they don’t like him either. He is a plague upon this house.

Bud Adams: What are you going to do, Scott? How are you going to get the belt back to The Queen of the DoDo’s?

SNS: I am sure Anna Mathews will get her strap back, hell, she stole from me and got away with it. I am sure she has her own plans for Shadow Starr. Which is what I encourage everyone on the roster to do… and that is maim him. My part of the maiming begins next week as we begin the Shadow Starr Handicap Tour of America, or wherever we have a show booked.

Bud Adams: Who will he be wrestling?

SNS: PWA Newcomer, but I know the little shit way back from the CWA… Hank Serbia! And of course… one of the PWA’s most popular sons…. KYLE STEVENSON!

This gets a good cheap pop out of the crowd.

SNS: but you will excuse me Bud, I have to go speak with my son in law.

Before Bud can say anything Scott is halfway down the hall. He stands there and chuckles at Starr’s misfortune as we go to a commercial break.

Let's Play Simon Says...


Simon Kalis: Well, it’s been fun gentlemen.

Simon throws off his headset and rises to his feet, four of his armed men slide into the ring spears first and stand up, aiming their spears at Lucious Starr.

Jon McDaniel: Is he going to have Starr murdered to prove a point? I mean he did mention how he’d have liked to empty a clip into Starr.

Engel backs away and keeps an eye on everything as best he can while Starr is forcefully escorted out of the ring. He passes by Simon who pulls aside the left side of his suit jacket to reveal a holster with a 9mm pistol tucked in just in case Starr gets any bright ideas. Simon enters the ring as Starr quickly grabs the PWA Intercontinental title and flees through the crowd. Simon whistles and a large portion of the armed men climb up and into the ring and surround both Kalis and Engel, while many yet remain outside the ring. Simon gets a microphone thrown his way and taps it to make sure it’s on.

Simon Kalis: What a match. That was entertaining. But I’m here to remind you Matthew; you are bound to my service. No one escapes this.

Engel scoffs and says something our cameras can’t pick up.

Simon Kalis: These men are interesting, aren’t they? They’re all big, they’re all black and they’ve all got spears. Scary for most Americans I imagine. Not you though. You’re not even really American are you? You hide away in Bermuda when you’re no longer here. Tell me Matthew, do you know what loyalty means? What service means? Do you?

Simon shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: Don’t answer that. I don’t think you do. So allow me to demonstrate.

Simon points at one of his armed men and nods him over.

Simon Kalis: You. Hand your comrade behind you your spear.

The armed man does so, Engel watches on with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.

Simon Kalis: Now raise your right hand.

This so called soldier does so without hesitation. Simon looks at Matthew Engel as he pulls his 9mm pistol out of its holster.

Jon McDaniel: Oh God what is he about to do?

Simon Kalis: This isn’t your fathers PWA anymore ladies and gentlemen. Shall we demonstrate what loyal service is to The Virus?

Simon tucks the microphone into his pants as Engel watches very carefully. Simon grabs the now unarmed man’s right hand by the middle finger and holds it up. He looks back at Engel one more time, nods and then places the gun against the man’s hand before firing a single shot. Engel flinches and steps back, his eyes widening. The man grunts as Simon holds up his finger and puts away the gun. Simon grabs the microphone back.

Simon Kalis: That is all.

The man who just had a finger shot off nods, steps back and retrieves his spear returning to formation while his hand drops blood all over the ring. Simon holds up the finger towards Engel. The crowd is left reeling in shock as the censors quickly blur out as much as they can.

Simon Kalis: This is loyal service Matthew. You should be ready to die for me, but I can’t expect that from you can I?

Simon picks his nose with the man’s finger and then throws it towards the crowd. Engel shakes his head and the cameras obviously do not follow the finger.

Simon Kalis: Men.

Immediately, all the armed men in the ring lock Matthew Engel in place with their spears. Two cross just beneath his chin, forcing Engel to tilt his view upwards while the rest have the tips of their spears aimed all over Engels body. The tips lightly grazing Engel’s skin, pressing into him but not hard enough to pierce. Just hard enough to be felt.

Simon Kalis: These are real. Show him, gentlemen.

Four of them step back, and them aim their spears at each other. They slowly move the spears forward until each man has pierced the chest of the other.

Simon Kalis: Enough.

They pull back, the four of them now bleeding from their chests. They aim back at Engel, this time the tips of their spears dripping with blood.

Simon Kalis: You will learn your place, Engel. You will remember who Simon Kalis is. And all of the PWA will remember with you, more than who Matthew… But WHAT I am. So this is what is going to happen, Matthew.

Engel remains motionless as Simon offers him about as genuine of a caring and loving smile as he can. Of course, we all know it’s bullshit. The entire crowd remains quiet, everyone leaning forward from their seats. Even Jon McDaniel and Brian Rentfro have reacted exactly as the crowd.

Simon Kalis: You and I Matthew are now tag team partners. We will restore prestige and honor to those titles, tarnished by Matt Stone and the pretenders who’ve held them since him.

The crowd cheers at this announcement, although it’s not as joyous as it might’ve been had they not just witnessed a man get permanently disfigured.

Simon Kalis: There will be a reckoning for what you think you did to my knee. I’m sure you are imaging all the ways you can end my career. I assure you, many men and women have tried. And as I stand before you now, you know they’ve all failed. But until that day comes. Remember one thing about me Engel.

Simon unsheathes a combat knife tucked away on his belt, tucking the microphone back in his pants and walks over to one of the armed men. He removes the man’s helmet, and then holds their head as he begins to carve out the man’s left eye. The cameras pull away as the crowd gasps in shock and horror and disgust, instead focusing on Matthew Engel’s astounded reaction. Simon sheathes the knife and puts the man’s helmet back on. The armed men pull back their spears as Kalis lifts the microphone back up into his clean hand.

Simon Kalis: I am always watching.

Simon looks at Engel’s hand and nods. Engel extends the hand out slowly as Simon crushes the eye ball into it with a handshake.

Simon Kalis: All Hail Simon Kalis.

The microphone drops as his armed men make their exit. Four bleeding from their chest, one still bleeding from his hand and yet another bleeding from his face. “Master of Puppets” by Metallica plays once again and the crowd remains entirely hushed in the arena. Engel looks down at his hand and stares blankly at the blood and watches the crushed eyeball slide off of his hand. Simon calmly adjusts his tie and walks up the ring, surrounded by his men. Matthew Engel snaps out of his shock and picks up the microphone Simon Kalis left behind.

Matthew Engel: Excuse me. Sir?

He smirks as he points to the ADCTron. Simon looks up and we see video footage of Simon’s wife, Tamika Nash Strader taking their newborn son into the Kalis Estate in Los Angeles, California. Simon immediately turns around as Engel remains in the ring smiling. He shakes his head as the armed men immediately spin around and run to the ring. Engel however, doesn’t make a move to try to escape. Simon Kalis begins a slow and deliberate walk back towards the ring and the crowd is pumped.

Jon McDaniel: Engel has someone watching Simon’s family? Why would he show that card right now?

Brian Rentfro: He’s showing Simon two can play this game.

The armed men immediately circle Engel and lunge their spears towards him. Engel’s eyes close but instead of piercing him their spears all criss cross and lock around his body, slicing him at his ribs and arms however. Simon enters the ring and removes his suit jacket, folding it and placing it on the top rope. He unbuttons his cuffs and rolls his sleeves up and nods in Engel’s direction. Kalis grabs the microphone still in Engel’s hand.

Simon Kalis: You dumb motherfucker.

Kalis punches Engel across the face which pushes Engel back and slightly cuts his back as he runs into the sharp sides of the spear heads.

Simon Kalis: I thought you might say something stupid which would force my hand, but this is even better. You see, Mika can take care of herself. And now you probably just pissed off Scott. You know, our GM? The guy with an army of bikers? Yeah. That guy. So here’s what we’re going to do, Matthew.

Simon steps back and the men pull their spears away, dropping them behind them. They swarm Matthew Engel and he disappears beneath the swarm of wild African slave soldiers Simon found. All that can be heard is Engel’s groans in pain as those men take turns cracking him in the head and all about his body. A number of nooses are lowered from the rafters to the middle of the ring.

Simon Kalis: Enough. I don’t want him too hurt since he’s now my tag partner. But I did come prepared Engel. To remind you, yet agaaaaaaain where you are in this relationship.

Engel is hoisted up as each arm is placed into a nose and then his head is placed in one as well. He is strung up and the men back away, picking their spears back up. Matthew Engel is suddenly bleeding and the look on his face is one of defiance ever still.

Simon Kalis: I have earned everything I’ve got. I was screwed over so hard by Mark Sommers Matthew, that I should’ve asked him for dinner first if he planned to fuck me that good. So now the world is being made right. And this? This will be made right.

Simon raises his right arm, and Engel’s right arm gets yanked up into the air. Simon lowers it, and thus Engel’s right arm gets lowered yet as it does it throws off the balance of the nooses and the one around his neck begins to tighten and squeeze the air out of him. Kalis raises his left arm, and this further throws off the balance as Engel’s left arm gets raised. Kalis tilts his head back, and the noose around Engel’s neck is raised and tightens. Kalis lowers his left arm and thus both Engel’s arms are held down as the noose around his neck pulls up and chokes him.

Simon Kalis: Obey your master, Matthew. And he will give you life.

Simon raises both arms into the air, and this alleviates some of the pressure.

Simon Kalis: Disobey? And he will give you death.

Simon brings his arms far down and thus Engel begins getting choked again.

Simon Kalis: I don’t fight. I. Just. Win.

Simon evens his head and arms together, which allows Engel to breath as he remains strung up over the ring as “Master of Puppets” hits again and Simon grabs his suit jacket and makes his exit once more.

Jon McDaniel: …What have we just witnessed?

Brian Rentfro: …Simon’s time in Underground X has driven him insane, Jon.

Jon McDaniel: No Brian. It’s reminded him of who he really was.

Brian Rentfro: We’ll be back after a commercial break…

Anna Matthew(c) vs Emperor Ian

Special Guest Ref: Bubba J(c)


When this match started, Bubba J leaned in the far right corner, drinking a beer just watching the action. Anna was the first to strike as she used the speed that she is known for to keep Ian on edge with strikes and arm drags. You can see Ian starting to get frustrated with not being able to get a hand on Anna. Anna, who really doesn't care, is using the strategy until she is stopped. Which she finally is as Ian fakes for a clothesline causing Anna to sidestep right into a roundhouse kick. From this point Ian is doing his best to keep Anna grounded by focusing on his legs. First he grounded her with a few leg stomps and kneelocks. then he moved on to tripping her leg against the turnbuckle and firing a few kicks to her inner thigh. Ian hoists her up onto the top turnbuckle and signals for a superplex. Ian lifts her up and hold her in the air for a moment. Ian jumps back a little bit and gives the imapct of the move a little more umph.

Ian steps back and starts to stalk Anna as she crawls to the ropes to pull herself up. Ian grabs Anna and she quickly throws her foot back and catches Ian in the midsection. The Referee doesn't see the kick as Ian drops to his knees. Anna wastes no time grabbing Ian by the head and suplexing him into the corner, leaving him hanging in a tree of woe. Anna corners to the other corner and slaps the mat before running towards a hanging Ian. That is when Bubba J rushes out of the corner, causing Anna to trip up, trying to stop herself and get ready for an attack. the trip up causes her to go forehead and nose first into Ian's crotch. Bubba J takes video footage of the event as Anna stumbles back allowing Ian to drop to the mat.

Bubba, not one to miss any action screams...

Bubba J: Merry late christmas, Anna...I got you a....KICK IN THE BOX!!!!

Bubba kicks Anna from behind causing her to fall on top of Ian in that popular numbered position. Bubba taks another picture as he drops down to count the pin.

1...

2...

3!!!

WINNER: Anna MAtthews

Bubba smiles and pats Anna on the head before rolling out of the ring. Bubba takes another swig as he heads up the rampway.

Challege!!!!!


Jon McDaniel: Hold on fans..we are getting word from the back that something is goign on.y.

Bud Adams: I'm here with Gunnar Kingsbury, who has just finished being stitched up by the crack PWA trainer crew. Gunnar you took quite a beating earlier from Sykopath. You say you have a message for Sykopath. Go ahead sir.

Gunnar Kingsbury: Sykopath, I'm going to make this short and sweet, and I'm going to say this slowly, so even you can understand.

Find a partner.....any partner.....I don't care. Meet me and Bogard in the ring. You can name the stipulations. I don't care when....I don't care where. Eli Storm....make this happen. I'm ending this....Sykopath....I'M ENDING YOU!

Bud Adams: Jon, Brian...back to you.

The Million Dollar Man


As Bubba J, Emperor Ian and Anna Mathews all disappear Brian Rentfro and Jon McDaniel appear to be rising up thinking the broadcast has finished.

Jon McDaniel: Wait I’m being told we’re still on the air?

Brian Rentfro: What? Why?

“Master of Puppets” by Metallica hits again and the crowd stops emptying out of the arena and immediately turn back. Yet immediately Simon’s armed slave brigade runs out from all sides of the broken down entrance ramp and begin yelling for everyone to clear the ringside area. Security even shows up in the crowd, frantically moving people away from ringside.

Brian Rentfro: What is happening right now?

Immediately some of the armed men grab Brian Rentfro and Jon McDaniel and begin escorting them to the back for their own safety. Suddenly “Master of Puppets” cuts out.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

“The Million Dollar Man” begins to play over the speakers as the Abrams tank we saw from the start of show rolls into view. More of the slave type soldiers Simon has appear at either side of the tank. Ten of them, five on each side and each with a briefcase in hand.

EVERYBODY’S GOT A PRICE!
EVERYBODY’S GONNA PAY!
Cause the Million Dollar Man… ALWAYS GETS HIS WAY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The men enter the ring and open the briefcases pouring out $100 dollar bills, USD, all over the ring.

Simon Kalis: Ten million dollars. How’s that look to everyone backstage right now?

The men leave the ring and flee backstage as Simon rises from the hatch with a microphone in hand.

Some might cost a little.
Some might cost a lot.
But I’m the Million Dollar Man.
And you WILL be bought!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Simon Kalis: Pay attention PWA. This is my playground. And you’re all my playthings.

Simon lowers himself back into the tank and closes the hatch. Suddenly the tank takes aim at the ring, which has been covered in money.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!

The tank fires a single shell at the ring, sending fragments of it flying up into the air into the half empty arena. The money as well is thrown up into the air set on fire along with what’s left of the ring.

Simon Kalis: I’m home, PWA.

The tank rolls forward as whoever was left in the arena flees now, the Million Dollar Man theme song continues as the feed finally cuts to The Order of Chaos emblem.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA