Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


12-30-2013


Welcome to X-Mas @ Ground Zero!!!

Rexall Palace - Edmonton, Alberta, Canada




"I'm so sure", what a snotty thing to say
Stuck up people always get their way
They think they're so cool
These are the kind of people that you drool over
That is because they don't really care except about their finger nails and their long pretty
hair
Go up to one of these girls someday and say "I think I've found you're cure" and I'll bet
they'll turn their back on you and say "I'm so sure"

The scene opens to Eli Storm's office at the PWA. On his desk you can see some beer bottles. Behind the desk you can see not Storm, but New PWA Commish, Scott Nash Strader. The scene switches to Grizzly Beer Champion, Johnny Maverick, who is slowly shining his championship.

"I don't wanna be like you

Every time that I walk in the door
You put me down just a little bit more
You think that you're better than everyone else
But everyone knows that you're stuck on yourself
And I don't know what you want me to do
And I don't know what you want me to say
I think that I need to get away, away, away, away, away"

The scene then switches to PWA IC Champion, Teddy Alexander. The scene then switches to Joseph Simon sitting in the locker room, surrounded by Dodo dolls. The other "Simon" Simon Kalis is seen in a undisclosed office conducting a very private meeting. But before we can find out anything, guards step in and push the crew out of the way.

"Over and over and over and over and over again
It's the same old questions
Over and over it's over it's over again
With the same suggestions
I don't wanna be like you, I don't wanna be like you, I don't wanna be like you"

The scene switches to Skyopath jumping the railing and attacking any guards that try to remove him from the arena. The cameras come up on the PWA Tag Team Champions, Gunnar and Cody. Then it switches to Bodie Vera Cruz, is shown posing with the American flag. Sprinkles seem to be falling around him.

"Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I'm right
I just need a little taste to get by
The flavors so good it's much better than you
There's nothing left and there's no more to do
Every time that I walk in the door you put me down just a little bit more
You think that your better than everyone else
You don't know nothing, your stuck on yourself

Over and over and over and over and over again
It's the same old questions
Over and over it's over it's over again
With the same suggestions
I don't wanna be like you, I don't wanna be like you, I don't wanna be like you"

Luscious Starr is seen staring at a picture of the PWA Heavyweight Champion. Focused on getting it back.

"I never wanna be anything like you cause I hate you (that's right)
I never wanna be anything like you I don't trust you (yeah!)
I never wanna be anything like you cause I hate you (yeah)
I don't trust you and I hate you, I don't love you anymore
I don't trust you and there's no solution over and over and over it's over, it's over again

Now that you're gone and you're gone far away
Everything's perfect, everything's okay
No bitchin' and fussin' and fighting all day
I don't have anything left to say"

The scene now changes to a beautiful field full of daises. Spread out within the daisies are plant pots in shape of dodos. Anna Matthews is seen with Pedro, playing dress up. While Bubba J poses with the PWA World Heavyweight Title. As the cameras zoom in.

"Over and over and over and over and over again
It's the same old questions
Over and over it's over it's over again
With the same suggestions
I don't wanna be like you (cause there's no solution!), I don't wanna be like you, I don't
wanna be like you

Sick of makin' pollution!
Cause there's no solution, cause there's no solution!"



The scene now switched to the announcer table where McDaniel and Rentfro are ready to get started.

Jon McDaniel: Welcome to X-Mas @ Ground Zero, where thing promises to be action packed in here.

Brian Rentfro: Action Packed...listen what we need to worry about is what the new Commish is gonna get us for a Christmas bonus.

Jon McDaniel: Really...with the card we have in front of us...you are worried about a bonus?

Brian Rentfro: Well yeah...I mean he is a biker dude. I could really use one of those tattooed chicks in leather.

Jon McDaniel: Isn't that how you almost got detained in Germany?

Brian Rentfro: Hey first off...about that whole thing...uhm...ok, I got nothing.

Jon McDaniel shakes his head as we switch away from the announce table...

The Return


The cameras quickly are backstage in the office area of the arena where the PWA is set up. The office workers are shocked as they see the former missing PWA Owner, Eli Storm "storming" through the hallways. Storm is wearing ripped jeans and a old Project X t shirt. Storm rushes past the woman at the front desk and walks straight for where his office should be. He doesn't even realize that the name on the door has changed. But the one thing he can't ignore is the sight he sees as he opens what is supposed to be the door to his office.

Storm: WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Strader looks up from some paperwork looking over the top of his reading glasses.

SNS: Eli you old dog, where ya been?

Storm rubs his eyes, not believing what he is seeing in front of him.

Storm: Damnit...those Justin Case promos must of done more damage then I thought. Because I know, of all people, Scott isn't sitting at my desk...

Strader sits back leaving his glasses on. He has a smirk on his face.

SNS: Did the network not call you Eli? You should really answer your phone.

Storm: I just spent the last few weeks...never mind. The important question is why are you in my office...in my seat at my desk, Scott. Last time I checked you never got back to my people about the contract we offered you.

Scott chuckles and places his glasses on his desk. He leans forward places his arms on the desk crossing his fingers.

SNS: I never got back to you because I am honest enough to admit competing is not in my future. I've done all I've needed to do in the square circle. I have more titles to my name then well just about everyone who has walked through the curtains down to that ring. Your offer didn't interest me.

Scott shrugs.

SNS: However, the contract the network and the PWA Board of Directors offered me, a sweet cushy managerial position because the man that currently was in charge started to go off his fucking rocker, well how could I refuse... Any of this ringing true, sweetheart?

Scott looks at Eli waiting for an answer.

Storm has a look of shock on his face as he looks at the grin on SNS' face. He takes a deep breathe and shakes his head.

Storm: Those shady fuckers...

Storm walks over to the desk.

Storm: I'm off my rocker!?! And the guy they decide to bring in to help...is YOU!!??? It's not like you are better choice there, Scott.

SNS: Sure, why not? I am an actual PWA Legend and Hall of Famer. I'm a former World Champion of this great company. I was a part of the biggest years this company has ever had. I have been in charge before with a good track record.

Scott reaches into his cut and pulls out his cigarettes and proceeds to light up. He exhales in the direction of Storm.

SNS: So really Eli, the better man suited for this position is in said position. You better learn to deal with that.

Storm is steaming as he turns around and heads for the door. He stops and looks back at SNS.

Storm: You should of said no, Scott. You should of turned them down as you did me. You of all people know what The Deadpool is capable of if pushed. I'm going to ask you just once as a friend...step down. If you don't...you know I have a Strader of my own who has been waiting to settle things with you.

Scott leans back putting his boots up on his desk.

SNS: Ever heard the Bandido credo 'cut one we all bleed?' Besides, I broke one of your men's back, and you tell Bronx my office door is always open. Don't let it hit your ass on the way out.

Storm just looks at Scott and has to take a breathe before he snaps and leaves the office and slams the door behind him.

Joseph Simon vs Kyle Stevenson

North Pole Street Fight


As we come back from the backstage area both men are in the ring. The ref calls for the bell and Simon and Stevenson locks up. Simon gets the advantage and starts to back Kyle into the corner. Simon looks like he is about to make a clean break when "Fuck You" by Cee Lo Green blares through the arena. Both men turn towards the entrance way expecting to see one Lucius Starr.

Jon McDaniel: Well this is unexpected...Starr isn't set to be here tonight.

Brian Rentfro: Has that ever stopped him before!?!

Suddenly the crowd explodes...not because Starr has come down the rampway...but because he has made his way through the crowd and is now in the ring behind Stevenson. Kyle turns around...Hell's Wrath!!!!

Jon McDaniel: And down goes Kyle!!!!

Brian Rentfro: Ahhh...brings back memories to hear you say that.

Jon just looks at Brian as we head back to the ring.Simon feeling the movement in the ring quickly turns around and as Starr gets back to his feet, attacks him. Simon is peppering Starr with lefts and rights...forcing him into the ropes. Starr is against the ropes and Simon looks like he is going to send him over, when Starr drops down and nails the low blow. Simon drops to both knees and Starr steps back before firing a superkick into the new PWA star's face.

Brian Rentfro: I think the tooth fairy is going to be happy tonight.

Simon hits the mat like a bag of bricks as Starr calls for a mic. A ring hand gives Starr a mic and Starr stares at the crowd for a moment.

Starr: ...

Starr just grins and drops the mic before sliding out of the ring and disappearing through the crowd as the guards rush down to the ring with EMTs.

Johnny Maverick(c) vs Cody Bogard(c)

Grizzly Beer Championship Match


This match, which pitted teacher vs student, was an exciting affair, full of high impact offense, and near falls. Maverick controlled the opening moments of the match, using his martial arts skills to batter 'The Crisis Ace.' J-Mav almost finished Cody in the corner with a stunning roundhouse kick after a series of elbow and knee strikes. Bogard managed to kick out at the very last second, frustrating the Grizzly Beer Champion. Bogard mounted a huge comeback, using an array of aerial moves to keep Maverick off balance. A springboard leg drop earned Cody a near fall, but Johnny managed to kick out.

Maverick stopped Bogard's momentum by countering a springboard hurricarana into a sitout powerbomb for a 2 3/4 count. The momentum shifted again when Maverick went for The Tony Jaa, but Bogard sidestepped, snatched the leg, and hooked in the Scorpion Deathlock for a near submission.

The Rock n Roll Outlaw went for the finish after knocking Bogard off the top rope. Maverick hit the OF!MF! Johnny pulled Cody up and went for The Perfect Armbar. Maverick locked in the double underhooks, and went to suplex Bogard, but Cody widened his base and powered J-Mav over, using Johnny's under hooks to prevent him from kicking out.

1...

2...

3!!!!

The winner and NEW PWA Grizzly Beer Champion....Cody Bogard!

A Chat with The Virus


We go live backstage where Lean Bean Miller and Matthew Engel are sitting down in an interview room. Engel is dressed in his ring attire and LBM is wearing a suit and tie.

LBM: Matt, thank you for joining me tonight. I know you've got a very important match to get to here soon.

Matthew Engel: It's no problem, Lean.

LBM: What's going on with Simon Kalis and yourself? Why haven't we heard from him in awhile?

Matthew Engel: Well, I've got my sources. I heard he was banged up pretty bad after what I did to him two weeks ago. He probably needed a surgery of some sort to repair the damage I did. He's just buying time.

LBM: Is this all part of your plan?

Matthew Engel: I don't have a master plan here, Lean. For once, Matthew Engel isn't going week by week by the Masters' playbook and trying to destroy someone. I'm winging it mostly. This golden opportunity tonight was the PWA capitalizing on what could potentially be an epic main event match down the road with me and Simon.

LBM: Do you honestly think you could beat Simon, with all of his experience, money, and power in the PWA, for the World Title?

Matthew Engel: Absolutely, there's no question about it, and that my friend... is where you hurt him the most. Take a look at the past. Teresa put him into a downward spiral. Lisa drove the nail in the coffin when he failed to capture the AOWF World Heavyweight Championship. Did he bounce back? Sure, but it took quite a while. But I don't intend on sticking around for it.

LBM: Is your interest in this possible dream match up strictly for the World Title?

Engel sits back in his chair and takes a sip of his water.

Matthew Engel: Yeah... sure. I guess you could say that.

LBM's eyes light up.

LBM: So there is a master plan?

Engel shakes his head.

Matthew Engel: There's no such thing anymore. It's about going out there and making the best of my opportunities to further my wants and needs. Hardly a selfless and heroic act as Jacob Figgins is concerned.

LBM: I think I'm a pretty good human lie detector, so I --

Matthew Engel: You? Come on, Lean. Don't pretend like we don't have a history. And I'm sure I've lied plenty of times to you without you knowing.

LBM looks sad for a moment.

LBM: With Genesis 2014 looming, is it possible that we'll see you in action? Against Simon?

Matthew Engel: I don't know the future, Lean. But I intend to give this match tonight my absolute best. When I do that, great things tend to happen to me. And bad things happen to those who get in my fucking way.

Engel slams his water in a macho manner, because it's all the rage, and exits from the interview.

LBM: Well there we have it. A possible method to Engel's madness to climb the way back up to the top of the PWA and knock Simon down a peg or two. Back to you guys at ringside!

Teddy Alexander(c) vs Anna Matthews

PWA Intercontinental Championship Match


In the match featuring the former PWA World Champion and the young upstart IC Champion, sparks started flying as soon as the bell rung. Teddy was a house on fire, trying to show that he can hang with the Queen of Dodos. Using his size to his advantage, he pressured Anna with a few power moves that focused on her back. Teddy is trying to use the tactic of keeping her grounded by using his weight to add extra impact on his moves. Anna, however is not willing to go away that easy and is firing rapid fire shots to Teddy's knee and wrists. Every time Teddy grabs her, She drives a elbow into his wrist and as he lets her go, she throws a kick to his knee. But Anna goes for the move one too many times and as Teddy fakes the grab, Anna goes for the elbow, opening her up for a nasty looking thrust kick in the chest. Anna stumbles back into the corner and Teddy goes for a corner clothesline...but is met with a Heartkick out of the corner that stops him in his tracks. Teddy drops to his side holding his chest as Anna waste no time ascending to the top turnbuckle. The crowd jumps to their feet as they know what is coming next...

ABORTION OF GIYGAS!!!!

The impact looks like it crushes the ribs of the IC Champion as Anna goes for the 3 count and win.

Winner: ANNA MATTHEWS!!!!!!

Number One Contender...You Mean Champ...


Anna rolls over into the corner to get some air in her lungs as the crowd starts buzzing. All of a sudden Starr rushes through the crowd and hops over the guard railing. He looks at Anna and Teddy. He snatches a mic away from the time keeper.

Lucious Starr: Anna, you don't fucking deserves this title. You're beneath me and I shouldn't have to prove myself against you or any of the other rejects. However, if you want a chance to prove that you're good enough to take this from me, feel free to come get it. Because as of now, I'm dropping the nice guy waiting in line bullshit. As of now, I'm no longer the Number one Contender...

I'm the new PWA Intercontinental Champion. Suck on that, peasants!

Lucy drops the mic and grabs the IC Championship, laughing as he heads backstage with his new prize.

Jon McDaniels: Can he do that??

Brian Rentfro: I think he just did!!

Jon McDaniels: But is he allowed to do this and get away with it??

Brian Rentfro: Who the hell is gonna stop him, Jon?? You?

Emperor Ian vs Matthew Engel vs Jacob Figgins

Santa's Surprise Match


This match is what a cluster fuck match looks like. Ian plays it smart and picks his shots, while Engel and Figgins tear into each other. Engel is also smart and sidesteps Ian's superkick. Jacob isn't that lucky and catches the kick flush on the jaw. Before Figgins can fully recover, Engel pushes Ian into the stumbling Figgins and sends Jacob up and over the ropes. Matthew is waiting for Ian to turn around...he hooks him up for the Sons of Plunder, but Ian counters and spins Matthew around, only to have Figgins slide into the ring and take both men down with a clothesline. Figgins picks up Ian and flings him into the corner and follows in with a running knee. Ian slumps in the corner as Matthew slowly gets to his feet.

Jacob runs straight towards Engel, but at the last second Engel ducks under Figgins and lifts him up in the air and drops him throat on the top ropes. Matthew looks back to see if Ian is still slumped in the corner and makes his way to one of the presents in the corner. Engel goes to grab the box, but is stopped by two knees into his back from Ian. Ian quickly grabs the box and rolls out of the ring...excited to see that he was able to get a box. Matthew looks on from inside the ring, pissed off.

He almost didn't notice Jacob going for one of the other boxes in the corner. Engel grabs Figgins and spins him around and starts laying in shots with that heavy right hand of his. But Figgins isn't just going to let Engel have his way and starts to fire back! These two ring vets are trading shots in the ring and neither man is trying to move a inch. Figgins fakes a left and throws a knee into Engel's gut and throws him into the corner. As Engel collides with the corner the present falls off the turnbuckle and onto the floor. Figgins drops down to roll out of the ring, but Engel grabs him by his hair. Figgins claws at Engel's hands to no avail. Figgins says "fuck it" and grabs Engel's wrist and yanks forward. Engel comes sliding out of the ring and lands face first on the ringside mats.

Figgins scrambles towards the present, but gets tripped up by Engel. Engel gets up and whips Figgins into the barrier and now he scrambles for the present. Figgins goes to stop him by realizes that there is another box in the ring and goes for that one. Figgins hops on the ring apron and grabs that box as Engel grabs the one on the floor.

The ref calls for the bell signaling the end of the match. He waves for the men to rejoin him in the ring. All three men return to the ring holding their boxes. The ref walks over to Jacob Figgins and tells him to open his box. As Figgins opens the box...he sighs. Not golden ticket, just an index card. Jacob picks up the card and reads it. The card says "You vs. the winner of Lucius Starr vs. IC Champion...at Genesis '14. Not what he was looking for but something he will take none the less. Figgins leaves the ring, knowing that at Genesis...he has a shot at gold.

The Ref looks at Matthew Engel and Matthew takes a deep breathe before opening the box. Engel's mouth drops open and he falls to his knees. the ref goes to check on him and he pushes the ref out the way. A devilish grin races across his face as he holds up...THE GOLDEN TICKET!!! the look on Ian's face says it all as he drops his box and watches Engel pocket the Golden Ticket and leave the ring.

Ian kicks his box out the way and is about to leave the ring when he is interrupted...

Seek Asylum


"Where do you think you are going, Ian?"

All of a sudden Eli Storm walk out to the rampway. He looks at Ian, who looks like he doesn't have time to deal with this.

Storm: You know Ian...when I signed that contract for you to come back...I thought I had the old Ian back. The man that was a force to watch. And for the most part...you were working out. Won the Tag titles and were going in the right direction. but somewhere you got lazy and started phoning it in. you started becoming like the rest of the guys I see. You think doing the bare minimum is enough to get you by. But...Ian, I'm a kind soul. And even though there is a unwelcomed guest in my office...I still own this place and can make some rules around here.

Storm paces for a bit.

Storm: Normally...that box would be filled with a pink slip...but not this time. You see this time...I'm going to give you what some one like you wants. I'm going to give you a chance to show me that the talk is more then that. You see in that box is a contract for a PPV coming in Feb. One that I'm very proud of called UNSANCTIONED. The main event of that PPV will be an Asylum Match for the PWA World Heavyweight championship. This match will take place inside a chain link cage in the shape of a circle placed in the middle of the ring. There will be 3 wrestlers taking part in this match. The champion, the number one contender...and the man who holds that contract in the box you are kicking. It will function under elimination rules, meaning the first elimination is by pinfal and the second will be by submission. Show me that you are worth this chance I'm giving you, Ian. Show me that I'm not wasting my time.

Storm turns around to walk back through the curtain, but stops.

Storm: And feel free to thank me later.

Storm disappears and the camera switches backstage.

The Watchful Eye


The scene cracks open with a flash, and immediately we’re face to face with Simon Kalis. His right eye closed, his left eye covered in a black eye patch with the PWA logo over it. His right eye slowly opens and a smile creeps over his face.

Simon Kalis: Bravo, Matthew. You did your homework and struck at me in what is one of my weaker spots. I commend you, but then again this is precisely what puts you leaps and bounds above others. Yet even you are not immune to my influence. The fact of the matter is, no one in the PWA is.

Simon winks.

Simon Kalis: The Pioneer Wrestling Association itself is not immune to me, nor my sphere of influence. When was the last time anyone saw me actually compete inside of a PWA ring? Hmmm?

He pauses, almost as if he were waiting for a response.

Simon Kalis: 2011. It was over 2 years ago Matthew, since I’ve given the PWA the God damn GRACE of my presence inside that ring along with Adrian, recapturing the PWA Tag Team titles. Titles which were stripped off of us for which we never received our due rematch. But that’s neither here nor there. The point is since 2011, I have remained a talking point in the PWA. The Order of Chaos’ war with the PWA has felt aftershocks up until this very evening Matthew. Even as great as you were, you’ve never left any such lasting impact on the PWA as I have. You have the accolades and the titles, but you also got the opportunities tenfold to what I got. Precisely because my entire time in the PWA I was held down and held back by management.

Simon spits.

Simon Kalis: Now I am part of that management, because this is what I had to do to get what is rightfully mine. And while everyone thought my war to take over the PWA failed? Here I sit, the true power behind the curtains. Even you’ve become my puppet, and you’d do well to remember that. You’d do well to remember that no matter how many needles you inject into yourself, no matter how many times you try to take out a bum knee and no matter how many fucking times you bitch about BEING MY BITCH!

Simon takes a deep breath.

Simon Kalis: You still are. Bound by oath and contract. Obligated to perform in that ring for my amusement and that of the fans.

Simon seems to rise from his chair step forward. The entire room is dark, save for the spotlight on him.

Simon Kalis: In UNDERGROUND X?! SIMON KALIS IS THE FUCKING NAME! THE FUCKING MAN WHO CAN INSTANTLY SPIN HEADS AND MAKE EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION!

Simon smiles for the camera.

Simon Kalis: And in the PWA?! I DON’T EVEN NEED TO BE HERE FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS FOR EVERYONE TO KEEP SAYING MY NAME! Reminding themselves and ALLLLLL the PWA fans what a power Simon Kalis is. The fucking universe revolves around me because of what everyone knows I am capable of. That’s not my ego talking, that is the fact I have always been a hot topic in the PWA from your Matt Stone reigns down to now. Even half your god damn match revolves around me, just look at the videos between Figgins and yourself for all the proof you need. And trust me Jacob, I haven’t forgotten about you dear old friend.

Simon scoffs and twists his neck around.

Simon Kalis: But while I can’t be there tonight gentlemen, I want you and all the PWA to know I am watching very carefully. Matthew you’ve only slowed me down, and while you were busy thinking you got some sort of moral victory over me?

The spotlight goes out, and then the lights turn back on. The room Simon Kalis is in is filled with gold bricks, stacks of them in metal cases. Even the seat Simon had is more a throne than a chair. Two armed men with AK-47’s flank Simon Kalis at either side. Unremarkable, save for the fact the two men have Bandido cuts on. Bandido cuts just like our new General Manager, their Pres, Scott Nash Strader, the man who is also the father-in-law and grandfather to Simon Kalis’ new born baby. In case you all forgot…

Simon Kalis: I was busy acquiring even more wealth and power than you can begin to imagine. My connections know no bounds. If you think the last two weeks have made me weaker, or that you stopped me and somehow saved yourself and that family of yours?

Simon whistles, and one of the armed men hands him an iPad Mini tucked into his cut. Simon holds up the screen for our camera lens to pick up and it shows Matthew Engel’s family but before anyone can take a good look Simon hands the iPad back to his ally.

Simon Kalis: I am watching. I am waiting. I will be the PWA World Champion, Matthew. Not you, nor Figgins nor the darker dumber Sommers can do a single thing about this fact.

Simon sits back down at his throne and crosses his legs, clasping his hands over his waist.

Simon Kalis: You and the entire PWA fears a return of The Order of Chaos. This fear has blinded you all to the return of something much worse.

He pauses.

Simon Kalis: Me.

Simon reaches into the breast pocket as if reaching for a gun, but instead all he has is his hands. He aims his hand at the camera, his index finger mimicking the barrel of a pistol.

Simon Kalis: Your boogeyman is back. And I don’t fight. I. Just. Win.

He mouths the word “BANG” as he pretends to fire a gun, and the feed cuts to static.

Bubba J(c) vs Gunnar Kingsbury(c)

PWA World Heavyweight Championship Match


Jon McDaniel: Main event time at X-mas @ Ground Zero! Bubba J defend his PWA World Title against the challenger, 1/2 of the PWA World Tag Team Champions, one Gunnar Kingsbury. What are your thoughs on this match, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: Neither one of these men are 100%, McDaniel. Bubba's still feelin the effects of that epic Biker Bar Brawl he had last week against Johnny Maverick. Gunnar is still carryin the effects of both the match he had against Joseph Simon and that fireball to the face from Sykopath in the dressing room area.

Jon McDaniel: That Biker Bar Brawl was one of the most brutal matches I've seen in some time.

Brian Rentfro: I can't get the visual of Bubba chomping down on J-Mav's balls last week.

Jon McDaniel: *ahem* Let's move on. Conventional wisdom says that Bubba J has the edge in this match. But, we all know how devious Gunnar Kingsbury can be and how adept he is at snatching victory from the jaws of defeat. Who you picking, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: I honestly gotta go with Bubba tonight. Even though he's not 100%, he's just been so bloodthirsty lately, I just can't see Kingsbury knocking him off the throne tonight.

Jon McDaniel: Let's go up to Eric Emerson for the entrances and introductions for our main event!

The arena lights dim as 'Hail to the King' by Avenged Sevenfold begins to play. A solitary spotlight shines on the entranceway as Gunnar Kingsbury steps out alone. Most of the crowd boos Kingsbury, but there are quite a few cheers for him.

Jon McDaniel: I never thought I'd hear anyone cheering for this man. Maybe him coming out to help Cody last week changed some people's minds about him.

Brian Rentfro: The fans are fickle. They'll be booing him soon enough. I'm not happy with him 'cause he left those two gorgeous Goddesses of his back at home.

Watch your tongue or have it cut from your head
Save your life by keeping whispers unsaid
Children roam the streets now orphans of war
Bodies hanging in the streets to adore

Royal flames will carve a path in chaos,
Bringing daylight to the night
Death is riding into town with armor,
They've come to take all your rights

Hail to the king
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the king
(Hail! Hail! Hail!)
The King!

He slowly walks up the ring steps, and has the referee hold the ropes open for him as he enters the ring. He goes to his corner and awaits his introduction.

Jon McDaniel: Wow. Not the Gunnar Kingsbury we're used to.

Brian Rentfro: He appears to be all business tonight. He knows that World Title shots don't come along everyday.

The smashing guitar riffs of "Alcohol" hit the speakers and from the back walks The Ragin' Redneck Bubba. In his right hand he holds a bottle of liquor and he looks out at the crowd. The crowd pops for the PWA Champion as he takes a big swig from the bottle, then makes his way to the ring.

He enters the ring, puts the bottle down, and flips off Gunnar with both hands.

Jon McDaniel: That's the same old Bubba J.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, but where's Cindy Lou? Oh here she comes.

Cindy Lou Jenkins walks down to ringside. She is dressed in a pair of Daisy Dukes and cowboy boots. She is wearing one of the new Bubba J t-shirts.

Jon McDaniel: I think it's the wrong season to dress that way.

Brian Rentfro: I don't agree, but I will say that, judging by her shirt, it's definitely nipply, I mean nippy in Edmonton tonight.

Eric Emerson: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...WELCOME TO EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA! WELCOME TO THE REXALL PLACE! AND WELCOME TO PWA'S X-MAS @ GROUND ZERO!!!!!!

The crowd pops big time.

Eric Emerson: THIS MATCH IS SET FOR ONE FALL WITH A ONE HOUR TIME LIMIT AND IS FOR THE PWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!!!

THIS MATCH IS SANCTIONED BY THE EDMONTON COMBATIVE SPORT COMMISSION, PAT REID, PRESIDING.

YOUR REFEREE IN CHARGE AT BELLTIME...LANCE WESTIN.

AND NOW, INTRODUCING THE COMBATANTS....

INTRODUCING FIRST, IN THE CORNERTO MY RIGHT HE WEIGHS IN AT 245 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA.....HE IS THE SELF PROCLAIMED KING OF WRESTLING.... THIS IS GUNNAR KINGSBURY!!!

Kingsbury steps out from his corner, then steps back.

Jon McDaniel: This is definitely not the same Gunnar Kingsbury.

Brian Rentfro: All business, tonight. All business.

Eric Emerson: AND HIS OPPONENT...HE WEIGHS IN AT 250 POUNDS...HE HAILS FROM DURHAM, NORTH CAROLINA....
HE IS A TWO TIME REBEL PRO WORLD CHAMPION...A FORMER PWA GLOBAL CHAMPION, AND HE IS YOUR REIGNING AND DEFENDING PWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...HE IS THE RAGIN' REDNECK...BUBBA J!!!!

Referee Westin calls both men to the center of the ring. He takes the PWA title from Bubba and holds it up in the air. He hands it back to Bubba, then goes over the rules. He gives both men an opportunity to shake hands. Kigsbury holds his hand out, but Bubba flips him off and walks back to his corner. Kingsbury grins and shakes his head, then walks to his corner.

Westin calls for the bell.

DING! DING!

Bubba and Gunnar go nose to nose in the center of the ring, trash talking each other. Gunnar slaps Bubba. Bubba responds with a closed left hand to the right side of Kingsbury's face, sending him to the mat. Bubba mounts Gunnar and begins raining punches down on the padded area around his eye. The pad and bandages turn red as blood begins to seep through them. He pulls Gunnar up to his knees and begins to concentrate his punches right on and around the eye.

Westin pulls Bubba off Gunnar, who falls to the mat, holding his face. He asks Kingsbury if he wants to concede the match. Kingsbury answers no, and slowly gets to his feet. Bubba grins, rubbing his hands together and licking his lips.

Bubba and Gunnar lock up, but Bubba hits a couple of open hand shots to the side of Gunnar's face, which allows him to easily force Kingsbury into the corner. Bubba unleashes a flurry of left hands to the protective covering over Gunnar's face and eye. Blood flies off the soaked protective padding with each punch from the PWA Champion. Gunnar slumps down in the corner. Bubba begins stomping the chest and face of the challenger.

Jon McDaniel: Bubba's stomping a mudhole in Gunnar Kingsbury.
Brian Rentfro: AND walkin it dry!

Blood is streaming down Kingsbury's face as Westin pulls Bubba off him. Gunnar shakily gets to his feet. Bubba charges in, but Kingsbury catches him with a basement dropkick to his knee. Bubba hits the mat hard, holding his knee. Kingsbury begins to stomp Bubba's knee.

He pulls Bubba up to his feet. Bubba throws a right hand, but misses, Kingsbury kicks Bubba's leg out from under him. As soon as Bubba hits the mat, Gunnar begins to stomp the kneecap. Bubba yells in pain as Kingsbury continues to stomp away on the knee.
Kingsbury holds Bubba's leg on the mat, and begins to drive his knee into the knee and shin of the PWA Champ. He rolls Bubba over onto his stomach. he pulls Bubba's leg off the mat by the ankle, puts his foot into the back of bubba's knee, and drives it kneecap first into the mat. Bubba yells in pain again as Gunnar repeats the move.

Jon McDaniel: Bubba could have a broken kneecap.

Brian Rentfro: That would be about the only thing he has in common with Kobe Bryant.

Jon McDaniel: But if Kingsbury keeps the punishment up on Bubba's leg, he could have more in common with Anderson Silva than he wants to.

Kingsbury rolls Bubba over onto his back and executes a spinning toe hold. Bubba grimaces and yells as Gunnar releases and reapplies the hold. Gunnar yells for Bubba to submit as he cranks the torque on the spinning toe hold. Westin asks Bubba if he wants to submit, but Bubba flips them both off. Gunnar re-applies the hold, he leans in, just close enough for Bubba to fire off a haymaker left hand on the protected eye of the challenger.

Kingsbury immediately releases the hold, and falls back, holding his eye, and wailing in agony. the protective padding and bandages are loosening up due to the blood that has been running through and under it. A man in a suit climbs up the ring steps and calls the referee over. The crowd boos the man.

Brian Rentfro: Who the hell is that?

Jon McDaniel: He appears to be the ringside doctor, from the Edmonton Combative Sports Commission. He's talking to Westin and motioning over at Kingsbury.

Brian Rentfro: That can't be good news.

Jon McDaniel: We may have a stoppage here tonight.

Brian Rentfro: I guarantee you that if they stop this thing, these fans are gonna riot.

The man steps into the ring, and he, along with Westin walk over to Kingsbury, who has made it to his feet. He stands in the corner, holding his hand over the padding. An EMT enters the ring as well. Westin goes over to Bubba to check on his leg. Bubba flips him off, and tells him to clear the ring and let them fight.

The ringside doctor goes to check the eye of Kingsbury, but Kingsbury pushes him away and tells him that he's good to fight. The EMT comes over with his kit to check on Kingsbury, but he too is shove away. Kingsbury tells the EMT to wrap more bandages and tape around his head to hold the padding on. The ringside doctor orders the EMT to do just that. The crowd cheers as the EMT wraps Kingsbury's head. Meanwhile Bubba is back to his feet, trying to walk off the damage done to his knee.

Jon McDaniel: Kingsbury's taken care of and ready to continue.

Brian Rentfro: This worked out well for Bubba J as well. Maybe even better for him. He was able to shake off some of the effects of Kingsbury's attack, but Gunnar still is at a disadvantage. This is working out great for the champ.

Kingsbury walks out to center ring and invites Bubba out. Bubba gladly complies, and meets Kingsbury with a left cross to the ribcage. Another left to the ribcage followed by a right cross to the jaw staggers the challenger. Gunnar retaliates with a thumb to the eye, which infuriates Bubba. Bubba goes for the covered eye of Kingsbury with a quick elbow strike. Kingsbury staggers back into the corner, and is hit with a clothesline by a charging Bubba.

Kingsbury hits the mat and rolls out of the ring to the floor. Bubba steps through the ropes to go to the floor, but Gunnar grabs Bubba's leg and hits a dragon screw leg whip that send Bubba crashing to the concrete floor. Gunnar grabs a chair and begins to wail on the knee of the PWA Champ.

Jon McDaniel: An absolutely ruthless side to the challenger has been exposed tonight. I've never seen Kingsbury like this.

Brian Rentfro: He'd better be careful, though. He's swimming into Bubba J's waters, and we all know that Bubba's like a shark in a feeding frenzy when there's blood, chairs, and foreign objects involved.

Kingsbury drags Bubba across the concrete floor to the ringside steps. He pulls the top section off the bottom. He lays Bubba's leg on the bottom portion. He then picks up the top section and raises it over his head.

Jon McDaniel: NO! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

But Kingsbury does. He slams the steps on the knee and lower leg of Bubba. Bubba screams out in pain, followed by a stream of profanities.

Brian Rentfro: Good thing we're on Pay Per View.

Kingsbury lays Bubba's leg on the steps again, and slams the other section of steps on he leg again. He then slams the steps on Bubba's head and chest.

Jon McDaniel: That's it! Bubba's out!

Kingsbury rolls Bubba into the ring. He pulls Bubba into the center of the ring, and applies a figure four. Bubba lays motionless on the mat, and Westin makes the count.

1....

2....

3....NO! Bubba pulls his shoulder up at the last second! Bubba screams in a mix of pain and anger, then sits upright. He has an enraged look on his face. He flips Gunnar off with both hands, and begins to roll over in an attempt to reverse the hold. He successfully reverses the figure four, transferring all the pressure onto the knee of Kingsbury. Kingsbury quickly goes to the ropes, and Westin calls for the break.

Kingsbury pulls Bubba up and throws him out of the ring. Gunnar rolls out of the ring and grabs a chair. Bubba gets to his feet and turns around. Gunnar slams the chair over Bubba's head. Bubba takes the chairshot, and dares Kingsbury to do it again. Kingsbury slams Bubba again, splitting him open. Again, Bubba dares Gunnar to give him another. Gunnar takes aim, and levels Bubba with another chairshot, sending blood flying into the crowd. Bubba flips Gunnar off, then falls to the floor.

Kingsbury rolls Bubba into the ring, and moves him to the center of the ring. Kingsbury exits the ring and climbs to the top rope. He leaps off and hits The Hangover. Kingsbury goes for the cover, hooking Bubba's leg.

1...

2.....

Jon McDaniel: We've got a new World's Champ!

NO! BUBBA KICKED OUT JUST AS THE REF'S HAND HIT THE MAT FOR THREE! MY GOD WHAT A MATCH!

Kingsbury is livid, arguing the count with Westin. He's too busy arguing with Westin to notice that Bubba's up to his feet and stalking Gunnar. Kingsbury turns to his right, where his vision is obscured, and walks right into TRAILER PARK TRASH!

The crowd goes wild as Bubba makes the cover.

1...

2....

3!!! NO! Gunnar barely gets his foot on the bottom rope in time.

I am a Real American
Fight for the rights of every man
I am a Real American
Fight for what's right
Fight for your life!

Bubba gets to his feet as Mr. Americana, mask and all, walks out onto the entrance ramp. Cindy Lou smiles and begins to walk toward her man, but Bubba grabs her by the arm. Americana comes running down the ramp, but runs right into Trailer Park Trash. He bends over, dripping blood on, and cursing at the stunned Americana, while Kingsbury watches on. The crowd explodes as Sykopath comes through the crowd and slides in the ring behind Kingsbury. He spins Gunnar around and kicks him in the face. Kingsbury falls to the mat. Sykopath pulls out his fork, and grabs Kingsbury. He pulls Gunnar up to a kneeling position, preparing to start tearing at the eye. Before he can, Kingsbury nails Sykopath low. Bubba enters the ring and hits Trailer Park Trash on Sykopath, then throws him out of the ring.

He leans against the ropes, flipping off both Sykopath and Americana, who are both out on the floor. Kingsbury comes up behind Bubba and goes to hit the backdrop driver. Bubba blocks the move, elbows Gunnar in the eye, then hits Trailer Park Trash again. The crowd explodes again as Bubba covers Gunnar.

1...

2...

3!!!!!!!

Bubba pats Gunnar on the chest, takes his belt and rolls out of the ring. He stomps Sykopath's stomach, spits on Americana, grabs Cindy by the wrist and walks up to the entrance. He holds the belt up in the air, celebrating his win.

Jon McDaniel: WHAT A MATCH! BUBBA RETAINS THE TITLE, AND KINGSBURY SHOWS HIS TOUGHNESS!

Brian Rentfro: BUBBA J IS THE GODDAMN MAN!

I am simply, The Satire...




The odd distorted voice of an almost recognizable accent whispers into the empty arena.

I've become uncomfortable. Begrudgingly judging every competitor amongst it's family, I waste away my days in anger. What have you become? What happened? Where have you gone? In your stead; repetitive drivel and monotone chants. Angst, building layer upon layer, discontent, I hate you.

Banished you.

Forgot you.

Until now.

Until my decaying state of emotional fortitude craved an outlet; until the joke became obvious. The subtly that ran unnoticed garnered a name. My name.

Choking, wheezing, prying for air, I hold in my hand the key. The blunt stench of incompetence has been glorified too long! Racing, neck and neck, for first at the gallows you've all become complacently accepting of this level of being. Bubba J Is no champion, Gunnar is no competitor. Engel is no martyr, Simon is no king. PWA holds no ground in the battle I shall bring amongst its step.

Fear not for your lives, I am no Calamity, I am no harbinger of destruction, not anymore.

I am no valkyrie, for you are no warrior.

I am no God, you haven't the faith.

I am simply, The Satire.