Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions

he Scottish Exhibition + Conference Centre (SECC) - Finnieston, Glasgow, Sc
12-23-2013


Where Is Eli Storm...


The scene opens to a somewhat unfamiler camera crew walking through a long dark hallway. At the end of the hallway sits a room with two figures chained to wall. As the camera gets closer you see UX star, Dagger and UX Star and PWA Owner, Eli Storm. They both look worn out and tired. The cameras turn to see what is the bright light in front of the two. And the crew comes to a very inhuman discovery. The two have been forced to watch every single Justin Case promo. One of the members go to free the two, but hears a sound behind the crew. As they turn around they see a group of people dressed as Teddy Bears. Then....

Welcome to RAMPAGE!!!




"I never knew that a kid like me
Could take his mic around the world and flash the big S.D.
And rock the masses, from Madrid to Calabassas
Tijuana, Mexico, bootleg demos in Tokyo..."

The scene opens to Eli Storm sitting behind his desk at Incredible Inc. On his desk sits the contracts of Matthew Engel, Simon Kalis...Storm pushes the camera away before it could see the last contract. The scene switches to Grizzly Beer Champion, Johnny Maverick, who is slowly shining his newly won gold.

“They know me though, 'cause I be puttin' in work
Commit my life to rebirth, well respected, 'cause that's my word
I'm sure you heard, about a new sound going around
She might have left my hood, but she was born in my town"

The scene then switches to PWA IC Champion, Teddy Alexander. The scene then switches to Hunter Sullivan who is waiting for Viktor Stone to turn around before nailing the Viper Snap. Hunter smiles as Stone hit the mat.

"You didn't know, thought we was new on the scene
Well, it's alright! It's alright!
I know you know, I see you smiling at me
Well, it's alright! It's alright!"

The scene switches to Shawn O'Reilly getting forcefully getting removed from a fan fest, shouting and screaming at anyone who will listen to him. The cameras come up on the PWA Tag Team Champions, Gunnar and Cody. Bodie Vera Cruz, is shown posing with the American flag. Sprinkles seem to be falling around him.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South"

Sykopath is seen in the gym, surrounded in a circle of watermelons. As a bell rings he grabs a handful of forks and flings them with amazing speed towards the mid regions (nutts and berries) of the watermelons. Luscious Starr is seen staring at a picture of the PWA Heavyweight Champion. Focused on getting it back.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
How you like me now?"

The scene now changes to a beautiful field full of daises. Spread out within the daisies ad plant pots in shape of dodos. Anna Matthews is seen with Pedro, playing dress up. While Bubba J poses with the PWA World Heavyweight Title. As the cameras zoom in.

"Is that all you got?
I'll take your best shot."

The scene now switched to the announcer table where McDaniel and Rentfro are ready to get started. Before they do snow begins to fall in the arena, and festive holiday music begins to play. Through the entrance way comes Santa. He ambles down the ramp, 'HO HO HO'ING', waving to the fans and handing out candy to the kids. Over his shoulder is a big bag.

Santa walks over to the announce position. He shakes Jon's hand, reaches into his bag and hands him the 'Rise and Fall of the AoWF' DVD set. He shakes Brian's hand, reaches into the bag, and hands him the 'Anna Mathews: Her Awesome Career (so far) DVD set. He pats both men on the back, the finds a seat.

Jon McDaniel: Thanks, Santa! And how progressive on GM Strader's part, to book an African American Santa!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, screw Megyn Kelly, or whatever that slut from Fox News' name is. Santa's whatever color you want him to be. And besides...since Santa is here...you know what that means we get...

Jon McDaniel: Please...for the sake of having a normal show intro, don't say it!!!

Brian Rentfro: Fine...I won't say it...but I bet Santa knows...

Jon McDaniel: You wouldn't dare!?!

Brian Rentfro: Watch me.

Brian turns to Santa.

Brian Rentfro: Hey Saint Nick...since Mrs. Claus isn't here...would you like some...

Santa: HO, HO....HOES!!!!!!!??????!!!!

Jon McDaniel shakes his head as we head down to the ring.

A FRICKIN' BOGARD SEGMENT!!!


*Scene opens with one half of the PWA Tag Team champions, Cody Bogard at his locker adjusting his ring boots. From off screen, Toshi Yang walks by and greets the Crisis Ace.*

Toshi: Cody!

Cody: Toshi! How are things going for you?

Toshi: Not bad, prepared for your big Grizzly Beer contenders match?

Cody: Yep, the week off gave me a little time to get my focus back and it is always nice to see what the rest of the PWA has to offer. Totally did not expect Johnny Maverick to stand up for me during the leadup to his fight with my "parner" Gunnar Kingsbury.

Toshi: Certainly took some of us by surprise as well knowing the history between the former trainer/student duo, but at the same time it must've been such a pleasure for you to see your partner suffer after his failed attempt to leave you to hang.

Cody: Hehehehe, damn straight Toshi. Say, you are coming over for the big holiday party taking place at my place?

Toshi: Wouldn't miss it for the end of the world. Oh, before I forget, someone dropped off this gift for you.

*Bogard is handed the gift by Toshi*

Cody: Thanks, I wonder who this is from...

*Bogard opens the provided envelope, pulling out a greeting card. Cody begins to read the message aloud.*

Cody: "Dear Crisis Ace, While things may seem rough at this time with your status hanging around limbo holding the Tag Team belts, I know you are better suited at the top. Don't believe me? I've been keeping an eye on you from the shadows and I would love to see you back where you belong, at the top of that mountain in the main event scene and with that lovely PWA World title around your waist. Although what is contained here is a bit of an old relic, I wanted to give you this as a sign of better times and hopefully giving that much needed spark. You always manage to find a way to get the balance of the old and new right, don't let this scare you off because as someone that cares for you, nothing is better than having you reigning supreme. -JM"

Toshi: Sounds rather innocent enough, what is in the box?

*Cody opens the box and pulls out.... a Samurai Army t-shirt*

Toshi: Sam...urai Army? What is this Samurai Army, Cody?

Cody: Better question might be who is this JM and is this setting me up for something bad?

Toshi: Well lets hope this doesn't serve as a major distraction for you.

Cody: Toshi, I'm facing off against the guy dealing with all of those major distractions. No way I'm going to let this fall into the same boat as Ian. Come on, let's head on over to catch some of the action.

*Bogard stands up and leaves the locker room with Toshi. Sounds of heeled footsteps can be heard from a hidden area that was out of Cody and Toshi's line of sight. A mysterious figure makes their way to the already opened package and leaves a new envelope inside the box, marked JM*

Cody Bogard(c) vs Emporer Ian

GB Number One Contender's Match


In a battle pitting former world champion and current tag champion against former tag champion, with a GB Title shot on the line, both men throw everything they had at each other. It was a new and more aggressive Cody Bogard that started like a house on fire with a variety of suplexes, which included a deadlift German suplex that saw Ian almost break his neck as he was tossed into the corner. But Ian would not continue to be pummeled as he started fighting back with a variety of strikes that saw welts start to grow on Bogard's body. Things started to look bad for Bogard, when he attempted a flying crossbody and spiked down with a northen lights suplex. Ian made no bones that the neck was now his target. While Bogard was propped face first on the turnbuckle, Ian got a running start before leaping and driving both knees into the back of Bogard's neck. With a few well placed stomps and DDTs, it looked like Ian had things in the bag. Ian goes to whip Bogard into the corner, but at the last second Cody reverses and counters with a spinning heel kick. But Ian ducks and wraps him up in what looks like a Imperial-Plex. Ian goes to lift him up, but Bogard blocks and nails a mule kick to the inner thigh. Ian lets go for a brief moment and Bogard grabs his head...

HERO TIME!!!!

Bogard for the pin.

Winner: Cody Bogard

After their match, Santa gets up and grabs his bag. Ian (win or lose) rolls out of the ring and walks over to Santa. Santa reaches into his bag and hands Ian a present. Ian happily unwraps it, only to find a Billy Bob Hayes action figure. Ian looks disappointed, then angry. He throws the action figure in Santa's face, then grabs him by his furry lapels. Bogard launches himself over the top rope onto Ian. Ian gets up and runs away. Santa helps Cody to his feet. He reaches into his bag and pulls out another wrapped gift. He hands it to Cody. Bogard turns to open the package.

Santa begins removing his mittens. He unzips and removes his coat. He's wearing a black flak jacket.

Cody opens the package and finds.... a fork. He turns as Santa removes his beard and hat to reveal himself as Sykopath.

Brian Rentfro: HO HO HOLY SHIT!

Jon McDaniel: SYKOPATH IS BACK!

Syko clotheslines Bogard. He the grabs the fork and begins to dig it into the forehead of The Crisis Ace. Soon, Bogard is a bloody mess as Sykopath continues to carve a roadmap in Bogard's forehead.

Gunnar Kingsbury comes running down the ramp, a chair in hand. He chases Sykopath away, then tends to his tag team partner.

Jon McDaniel: What a shocking turn of events in the very opening match of the show!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah! Who would've thought Kingsbury would have come to help Bogard?

Gunnar Kingsbury(c) vs Joseph Simon

Singles Match


The horns of Pharoahe Monch's "Simon Says" explodes through the PA System as Joseph Simon appears from behind the entrance curtain. He grins and looks out over the crowd. He walks out to the top of the rampay and the pyros go off signaling the beginning of the song's chorus.

Eric Emerson: Making his way to the ring...

~Get the fuck up!
Simon Says get the fuck up!
Throw your hands in the sky (Bo! Bo! Bo! Bo! Bo!)
Queens is in the back sipping 'gnac y'all what's up?
Girls, rub on your titties
Yeah, I said it, rub on your titties
New York City gritty committee pity the fool
That act shitty in the midst of the calm, the witty~

Simon makes his way down the rampway, giggling every each closer step he takes. Simon stops in the middle of the rampway and looks around one more time and drinks in the excitement of the crowd.

Simon finally makes it down to the ring and brushes his hair back. He rolls under the bottom ropes and hops up. He smiles knowing that feeding time...feeding time for him is finally here.

Eric Emerson: HE COMES IN TONIGHT AT 6'3", 265 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM RED HOOK, BROOKLYN, NEW YORK...


~Y'all know the name
Pharoahe fucking Monch, ain't a damn thang changed
You all up in the Range and shit, inebriated
Strayed from your original plan, you deviated
I alleviated the pain with long-term goals
Took my underground loot, without the gold
You sold platinum round the world, I sold wood in the hood
But when I'm in the street and shit it's all good
I'm soon to motivate the room, control the game like Tomb Raider
Rock, clock dollars, flip tips like a waiter
Block shots, styles greater, let my lyrics anoint
If you holding up the wall, then you missing the point~

Joseph hops on the nearest turnbuckle and shoots his arms in the air. He hops off so the ref can check him.

Eric Emerson: HE IS THE 'INNOVATOR OF MADNESS'.... JOOOSSEPHHH SIMOOOON!!!!!!

Simon lines against the ropes while awaiting the bell.

The arena lights dim as 'Hail to the King' by Avenged Sevenfold begins to play. A solitary spotlight shines on the entranceway as Gunnar Kingsbury steps out, flanked by his 'Goddesses,' Athena and Aphrodite. Kingsbury is dressed in red leather full length pants with white fur trim, as well as black leather motorcycle boots with white fur trim. The Goddesses are dressed in what can only be described as ultra hip slutty elf couture. They are carrying red velvet bags wit white fur trim.

The crowd greets Kingsbury with loud boos, to whit he replies with a sarcastic sneer. Athena and Aphrodite are treated to whistles and catcalls, which are met with rolling of the eyes.

Watch your tongue or have it cut from your head
Save your life by keeping whispers unsaid
Children roam the streets now orphans of war
Bodies hanging in the streets to adore

Royal flames will carve a path in chaos,
Bringing daylight to the night
Death is riding into town with armor,
They've come to take all your rights

Hail to the king
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the king
(Hail! Hail! Hail!)
The King!

Athena and Aphrodite walk up the ring steps first. They hold the ropes open for Gunnar, who steps through. He walks to center ring, the spotlight resting on him as he awaits Eric Emerson's introduction

Eric Emerson: LADIEES AN GENTLEMEN...HE WEIGHS IN AT 247 POUNDS AND HAILS FROM MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA...HE IS THE SELF PROFESSED KING...

Kingsbury snatches the mic from Emerson's hand and pushes him away.

SHUT YOUR MOUTHS...OPEN YOUR EYES....
AND JUST LOOK AT ME!
I STAND A STATUESQUE 6 FOOT 2 3/4 INCHES TALL...I WEIGH IN AT A PERFECTLY PROPORTIONED 247 POUNDS...I HAIL FROM THE HOTTEST, SEXIEST CITY IN THE WORLD...MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA...I AM THE KING OF WRESTLING....I AM GUNNAR KINGSBURY...
AND I...CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE STILL IN SCOTLAND....LAND OF PLAID AND FAT UGLY ALCOHOLIC WOMEN.
ALL YOU POOR SCOTTISH MEN, TAKE A LOOK AT MY NUBIAN GODDESSES. IT'S OBVIUOS THAT I'VE BEEN A GOOD BOY, SINCE SANTA'S GIVEN ME THE PLEASURE OF FILLING THOSE STOCKINGS.

NOW BEFORE I TAKE CARE OF THE MAD HATTER HERE, I WANT TO WELCOME THE NEW GENERAL MANAGER OF THE PWA, SCOTT NASH STRADER. MR. STRADER, I KNOW THAT YOU ARE *AHEM* A LEGEND HERE IN THE PWA. I *AHEM* APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR THIS SPORT. (chuckles) SO I'M SURE YOU SEE WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO FOR THIS SPORT. IN THAT VEIN, THERE IS AN ISSUE I NEED TO DISCUSS WITH YOU AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE. JUST HAVE YOUR PEOPLE CALL MY PEOPLE AND WE CAN GET THIS TAKEN CARE OF.

He shoves the mic in Emerson's chest, and walks to the corner.

Eric Emerson: YOUR REFEREE...DANIEL DAVIS!

Jon McDaniel: It's good to see that Kingsbury's loss last week hasn't dampened his self confidence.

Brian Rentfro: As well it shouldn't, Jon. I mean, a loss to Johnny Maverick's nothing to be ashamed of. And, what's more, The man is like uber rich, enjoys all the finer things, and has two of the hottest, sexiest women at his beck and call. Confidence is something he shouldn't be lacking.

DING DING!

Simon and Kingsbury meet at center ring and lock up. Simon powers Kingsbury into the corner. Simon goes for a big right hand, but Kingsbury ducks, and goes to center ring.
Simon locks up with Kingsbury again, and again pushes him into the corner. Kingsbury ducks another punch and goes to the center of the ring.

He smirks at Simon. Simon charges, but Kingsbury hits a drop toehold. Gunnar floats over and locks in a front facelock. Kingsbury releases the hold and paintbrushes the back of Simon's head. Kingsbury then plays to the crowd, which boos him unmercifully.

Simon gets to his feet, a smile on his face. He bulrushes Kingsbury into the corner, and lights Gunnar up with an open had slap to the chest.

"WHOOO!" The crowd exclaims.

Jon McDaniel: I wonder where that expression originated?

Brian Rentfro: I don't know. Ask Anna Mathews.

Jon McDaniel: ?

Simon lights Kingsbury's world up again with another open hand slap to the chest. He then snapmares Gunnar and follows up with a knee drop to the head. He pulls Kingsbury up to a seated position then hits a running lariat. Simon goes for the cover, but only gets a two count. He pulls Gunnar up to his feet, whips him into the ropes and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbeaker. Another pin attempt and another two count.

Simon whips Kingsbury into the ropes and goes for a clothesline. Kingsbury ducks, reaches back for Simon's head and executes textbook hangman's neckbreaker. Kingsbury goes for the cover.

1...

John Jon McDaniel: NO! EMPHATIC KICKOUT AT 1!

Brian Rentfro: DAMN! THAT GUY'S GOT SOME POWER!

Kingsbury gets to his feet and is clotheslined over the top rope by Simon, whose momentum carries him over as well.

Brian Rentfro: I suggest Gunnar gets back into the ring. He's too well groomed to get into a street fight on the floor with this guy.

Simon whips Kingsbury into the ringsteps. Athena,who is standing on the other side of the ringsteps, goes down like she was shot. She's holding her ankle and crying. Aphrodite is kneeling down next to her.

Jon McDaniel: What happened?

Brian Rentfro: Looks like maybe the ring steps hit her. She was right next to them.

Referee Davis goes over to check on Athena. Simon pays no attention to her, but walks over to Kingsbury, who is back to his feet.

As soon as Joseph is close enough, Gunnar punts him right in the crotch, drawing an audible groan from Simon, as well as the male audience members. Simon goes down in a heap, and Athena leaps to her feet.

Jon McDaniel: We'll, I'll be damned!

Brian Rentfro: IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! HALLELUJAH!!

Jon McDaniel: You're joking right!

Brian Rentfro: YOU GOTTA BELIEVE, JON! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!

Kingsbury stomps Simon's head, then slides into the ring, followed by Davis. He orders Davis to count Simon out.

1......

2......

Jon McDaniel: He wants to get the cheap win and get out of here.

Brian Rentfro: Last time I checked, there were only two columns in the stats book, W an L.

3.....

4.....

Kingsbury demands Davis count faster as Simon slowly gets to his feet.

5.....

6.....

Simon leans against the ring apron.

7.....

8.....

9.....

Simon rolls into the ring at the last possible moment, much to the dismay of Kingsbury.
Kings bury begins to stomp and kick Simon, but the blows have no effect on him. Gunnar continues to hit Simon, who is now on his feet, with no effect.

Simon grins at Kingsbury, who is now begging off.

Gunnar backpedals until he is in the corner with nowhere to run. As Simon comes in, Kingsbury thumbs him in the eye. Simon turns his head then turns back to Kingsbury, again with a grin on his face. Simon unleashes a barrage of kicks and punches that batter Kingsbury.

Kings bury shoves Simon out of the way and staggers out to center ring, where he flops face first to the mat. Simon pulls Kingsbury up and whips him into the corner. He follows Kingsbury in and hits a clothesline. He then begins to pound Gunnar with lefts and rights until he slumps to the mat. Simon the begins to stomp on the fallen Kingsbury.

Jon McDaniel: Red Hook Violence Parade! And Kingsbury's in bad shape!

Simon drags Kingsbury to the center of the ring, the quickly hops out of the ring, and climbs to the top rope.

Jon McDaniel: Simon wraps Gunnar up for a suplex, but Gunnar blocks. Simon tries one more time, but Gunnar fires a shot into the ribs of Simon, followed by a European uppercut but before Simon can stumble back, Gunnar spins him around...LUNGBLOWER INTO THE DEATHSTAR CHOKE!

Simon fights to get out of the choke, all the while a smile is on his face. KIngsbury tightens the grip on the choke. Simon, though smiling, is beginning to slow down his struggling. Soon he stops moving. The ref checks his arm once....twice.....and three times. Referee Davis calls for the bell.

Eric Emerson: HERE IS YOUR WINNER.... GUNNAR KINGSBURY!!!!

Brian Rentfro: AND THE CRAZY BASTARD'S STILL SMILING! HE'S OUT COLD AND HE'S STILL SMILING!

Kingsbury rolls out of the ring. Aphrodite opens her bag. Kings bury pulls out something. Athena hands him a pen, and Kingsbury writes on it. He rolls back into the ring and holds it up.

Jon McDaniel: It's an autographed promo photo of himself!

Brian Rentfro: What a giver! So full of Christmas cheer!

He lays the photo on Simon's chest. Simon begins t stir, and Kingsbury quickly exits the ring.

Gunnar and the Goddesses walk around the ringside area, handing out Gunnar Kingsbury promo photos to the fans. Kingsbury autographs another photo and gives it to Rentfro. He looks at McDaniel.

Gunnar: Sorry, kid. Maybe next year.

As Kingsbury and the Goddesses walk towards the rampway, Gunnar is blindsided by Simon, who slipped out the ring. Simon tilts his head towards the ladies, who are checking on Gunnar.

Simon: My presence of mind is frequently absent.

He shoves the ladies out of the way and places a Dodo mask on Gunnar, before hopping the railing and slipping away through the crowd.

Anna Is So Wrong...

Go buy a Bubba J Shirt


???: It's two nights before Christmas and you're watching this swill?
You'd be better off watching Sandler's Jack and Jill!
The fans are so tired and worse for the the ware.
It's not a surprise because nobody cares!

There's a small cheer for this as a spotlight reveals the Queen of the Dodos pet Mexican, Pedro Gonzales.

Pedro Gonzales: We have Gunny Kingsbury and his vapid whores
with Joey Simon, that dumbstrucked bore
wrestling around like a couple of bitches
scared shitless to give themselves bruises or stitches.

Everybody remotely near the ring scowls, but the metrosexual and his neon awesome pink shirt raises a hand while tapping on the leather backed book he read from.

Pedro Gonzales: Don't look at me, amigos. I'm not rough and haggard.
But all these people want to see you be bloodied and battered
or at least a bit messy...though you may find it crude
to deny what they ask for is incredibly rude.

Fans cheer in the stands 'cause they're all in the know
that this part is truly the best in the show.
As they see on the tron more television fodder
It's Anna, Strader's bike, and enslaved little jobbers!

With tasers and whips, these losers stay arrested
while the Master of Time and Space stands uncontested
They struggle and whimper, they bitch and they whine
as her voice comes fluttering ever so fine...

Anna Mathews: Now, Lucy, Now, Bogard, Now, Frosty Dumbfuk!
An awnward thee rest hoose win-loss records suck
Tu thee syde of the wring! Lez git outta these halls
Oar would joo guise rather live on withowt balls?

As a cute little smirk settled down on her face,
the makeshift contraption vanished without trace.
But the ring started hovering and doing a dance!
Tango and cha-cha and shimmered in trance
From the shadows, some scurried as they saw in their fright
Bike, Dodo, and simpletons appear in the light!

She was dressed in all sparklies, bedazzled and poofed
Except for that other side that was disgustingly goofed
With a fifty-ton Easy Bake Oven on back
Causing Scotty boy's cycle to shudder and slack.
Her eyes-how wicked, her smile not faded
Her mindset both madness and equally jaded
As she looked to the King of Nothing At All
And the pretender to her throne who's three treetops too tall.

She carries the stove with no trouble, you see,
She's had tons of practice of making men flee.
But this oven's rarely seen, barely given a rub,
saved for baking cakes for that crazy fan club.
From the heat come pies, a thousand or more
Made up of all crusts and mad flavors galore.
As she slides in the ring, she calls for a mic,
gives a nod to poor Joseph, and tells Gunnar to hike.

She says, "Az ya no, I'm well nown four mi cake,
Butt aye can due pie two. Havve peice, joo bid fake!"
And sooner than you can grow bouquets of violets,
The Queen follows up with a Big Ball of Pie-lence!
Joseph's covered in everything, it does sure seem
Apple, peach, and banana cream
As everything laughs at dear Anna's cruel trick,
She follows it up with a Boomerfly kick!

She yells this as she lands the last strike,
"Happy (almost) Birthday to mii! Now I preepear fer a fight."

As the cheers continue and Looney McBitchtits is knocked out, Both Anna and Pedro join in a bow as we fade to...I dunno. Prolly another lame attempt of shoving Eli Storm shirts down your throats.

Buy The Damn Shirt


This Christmas, get in touch with your jolly side.

Eat some cookies. Drink some cocoa.

Put on a Santa hat.

OH, THE HELL WITH THAT!

LIGHT A SMOKE! DRINK A SHOT!

GET THE BUBBA J SHIRT, PUT IT ON, GRAB YOUR SHOTGUN AND

GO REINDEER HUNTIN!

Have yourself covered in the latest redneck wear, from the Redneck's line. This white t-shirt, complete with simulated blood stains will impress your friends, wow your co-workers, and make the ladies want your body. Be sure to get it today, while the supplies last. It is a 100 percent cotton fiber, coming in sizes from youth small to adult XXXL.



Want more blood on the shirt, you can get the "Drenched" special for an additional $2.00 and have splatters all over the shirt.

Available at shop.the-pwa.com

Oh, and PETA.....

There. Ain't. A. Damn. Thing. You. Can. Do. About. It.

Bubba J(c) vs Johnny Maverick(c)

Biker Bar Brawl Match


Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a Bar Room Brawl match and is set for one fall. Please turn your attention to the PWA-tron as the two competitors are introduced...


Eric Emerson: First, the reigning Grizzly Beer Champion, standing at 6' 2" and weighing in at 200 pounds, he is known as the Rock and Roll Outlaw... Johnny Maverick!

The crowd roars their approval and quiet down slowly as Eric clears his throat.

Eric Emerson: And his opponent, he is the current PWA World Heavyweight Champion, he stands at 6' 2" and weighs in at 250 pounds, he is known as the Ragin' Redneck... Bubba J!

Bubba J and Maverick square off in the center of the circle of tables in the bar. They lock up, with Bubba J throwing an arm around the neck of Maverick and wrenching. Bubba J lets go
of the hold and throws Maverick into the tables, he comes running back, being met with a big clothesline. Maverick rolls and gets back to his
feet and smacks Bubba J square in the jaw. Bubba J obliges and unloads a right hand of his own. The two start to slug it out in the center of the bar.
until Maverick catches Bubba J in the eye with a stiff left hand. Bubba J grabs the eye in pain, and Maverick springs from a table leaping to the air
Table MOONSAULT!

Brian Rentfro: Never seen that in the PWA before.

Jon McDaniel: Only Maverick's athleticism allows him to move like that.

The athletic move knocks Bubba J to the dirty floor. Maverick runs at Bubba delivering a baseball slide, and then goes for a quick cover.

ONE!

TWNO!

Brian Rentfro: Not gonna pin him that easily Mavvy.

Jon McDaniel: I think he was hoping for a surprise there.

Bubba kicks out quickly. Maverick lets Bubba J get back to his feet, but that was a mistake because Bubba J runs him over with a tackle. Bubba delivers a leg drop onto Maverick's face. He gets back to his feet and starts stomping a mudhole into the Grizzly Beer Champion.

Jon McDaniel: Bubba J stompin' a mudhole here!

Brian Rentfro: Gonna finish that old saying?

Bubba J stops the stomping and grabs Maverick by the head, he picks him up and throws him into the tables and chairs, he bends down as Maverick returns, delivering a back body onto a table and smashing it into fragments. He grabs a wooden chair from the floor. Bubba J stomps over to Johnny, who is on one knee. Maverick jumps up
from the kneeling position and surprises Bubba J with a dropkick; the chair splinters into the Ragin' Redneck's face!

The crowd goes wild as the first blood is spilt in the match, thanks to a small laceration under Bubba J's left eye. The redneck rolls away from Maverick, who leaps up o nto a table, running after the redneck, who is trying to get a splinter out of his eye. Maverick dives with a bulldog, sending the PWA World Champion face first into a wooden chair with a diving bulldog!

Jon McDaniel: What a move there, the Grizzly Beer Champ has the World Champ reeling here!

Brian Rentfro: Is that your mom dancing on the table for dollar bills?

Maverick climbs up onto the bar, diving off onto Bubba J with a senton but Bubba J moves out of the way. Maverick lands hard on his back, and Bubba J gets to one knee and then back up
to his feet. Bubba J picks up the Grizzly Beer Champion and throws him into the bar. He grabs him again and whips him into the tables and chairs.
Bubba J steps back a few feet before squashing Maverick with a running avalanche. Both men are gasping hard, but more so Bubba J as he now has a larger cut over his right eye and the blood is dripping down his face.

Brian Rentfro: Maverick being quite brutal here in this match.

Jon McDaniel: Both men have quite a bit to prove here, besides... I think they are having fun.

Bubba J goes for a chain which has been brought into the bar by a fan hoping to have it used in this match.
He stomps around Maverick, giving him tons of time to recover. Bubba J grabs the chain and raises it high into the air, swinging it. The crowd gasps as the hook heads right for Maverick's face! Maverick
rolls out of the way, launching a kick right into Bubba J's testicles.

Brian Rentfro: Bells will be ringing, just ask Bubba J.

Jon McDaniel: Oh my gosh Brian.

Brian Rentfro: Its a sad sad tune.

Maverick grabs a length of the chain, swinging it up between Bubba J's legs, once again wrapping his manhood nicely before wrapping it around his neck.

Jon McDaniel: He's gonna hang him!

Brian Rentfro: They call it lynching Jon.

Maverick looks up, tossing the other end of the chain over a rafter and heaving down to lift Bubba J up and dangle him there like a man convicted of a crime back in the day. Maverick grabs a chair, smashing it into Bubba J's face before using the splintered ends on his body like a carving knife and slicing him up. The crowd is going wild for this violence.

Brian Rentfro: What a saddistic son of a bitch!

Jon McDaniel: I'm glad we are in the arena and not at that bar!

Maverick leaps up from the bar, landing in a hurricanrana position and nails Bubba J with right after right as he holds on with his left hand. Bubba J's face is turning a deep purple color, from the lack of blood to the brain and oxygen there is causing him to slowly lower his eyes; he looks at his predicament and smiles?

Brian Rentfro: Is he smiling?

Jon McDaniel: He is! My gawd that son of a bitch is smiling as Maverick pounds on his face!

Maverick howls in pain, but tries to release his hand, he's hanging there by... by... his nuts?!

Brian Rentfro: That saddistic bastard is biting Maverick's nuts!

Jon McDaniel: I've seen it all!

Maverick falls back first onto the bar, blood coming from between his legs as Bubba J pulls himself up to loosen the chain and is spitting blood from his mouth.

Jon McDaniel: I've never seen anything like this before in my life! In my career!

Brian Rentfro: Oh, you didn't see your mom's movie, where she'll try anything... I think its called "I'll Do Anything".

Bubba J crawls up onto the barlifting Maverick up, piledriving him into a bowl of peanuts before throwing him through the liquor bottles in front of the bar mirror.

Brian Rentfro: Hope that isn't top shelf stuff, gonna cost a fortune.

Bubba J grabs a match from a book, striking it and lighting a match and dropping it onto the prone form of Maverick; who goes up in flame.

Brian Rentfro: No worries, it appears as though these dumb Scottish assholes drink gasoline.

Maverick comes up from the floor, covered in blood, liquor, glass, and flames. Bubba J squirts him down with a fire extinguisher before nailing the blinded Maverick with the now empty container; he goes down hard. Still smoking the cigarette, Bubba J pulls Maverick up onto the bar, receives a chair from a customer and proceeds to climb up, preparing Maverick for some devastating move.

Jon McDaniel: This doesn't look good... not at all.

Maverick with a back body sends Bubba J falling down into the glass shards, liquor, some flames, and other detritus of the previous incident. Maverick picks up the cigarette, lighting it off Bubba J's flames and takes a drag of the menthol smoke. Maverick sits there smoking in the chair as Bubba J climbs to his feet, barely putting out the flames. He hands Maverick some Bush Mills, they share a shot or two before Maverick nails him in the face with a stunning right hand, sending him back into the bottles.

Jon McDaniel: I can't believe these two men!



Maverick takes a few steps back as Bubba J gets back to his feet, still covered in the glass and liquor.

Running enzeguri!

Bubba J grabs his head and drops to the ground. Maverick grabs the nut bowl, slamming it repeatedly into Bubba J's skull, denting then breaking the tin wooden or plastic bowl. Maverick heads down to the other end of the bar and runs, diving off with a twisting flip, slamming heavily onto the Ragin' Redneck, who grunts from the impact, but then again so does Maverick.

Cover!

One!

Two!

Three!

NO! Bubba J kicks out again.

Brian Rentfro: That is close!

Jon McDaniel: Damn right it is!

Maverick is not discouraged as he pulls Bubba J up, pounding his fist into the blood streaked face of Bubba J. He slams another cheap liquor bottle into his face before rolling him over and dropping several glass coated knees into his face, throat, and back to his head. Maverick slowly climbs back up to the bar, several bottles held to his chest and several on Bubba J as well. He dives off with a big splash, but Bubba J moves out of the way and Johnny eats glass and concrete!
Brian Rentfro: High risk, either works or don't.

Jon McDaniel: In that instance... it didn't.

Bubba J gets back to his feet and taps his head as if he actually believes that took intelligence. He looks around and sees the chain, half way the bar room. He hops
out from behind the bar, grabs it and hurries back to Maverick. Maverick is back up to his feet, but turned the opposite way. Bubba J runs at him and hammers the
chain's hook across Johnny's back. Maverick falls down, his back now shredded a bit more, face first, and Bubba J wastes no time in wrapping the chain around his neck. He starts choking Johnny,
as his face turns red.

Jon McDaniel: Bubba J's turn to do a little choking here.

Brian Rentfro: This is hellacious, almost like that snuff film...

Jon McDaniel: If you say of my mom's, then I'll kick your ass.

Brian Rentfro: Sore subject? Not your favorite?

Bubba J lets go of the chain and Maverick collapses on the floor, gasping for air. Bubba J throws the chain to the floor. Bubba J drops a knee into the back of Maverick and then flips him over. He starts wailing away at him, with a fury of broken bottle tops punches. Maverick blocks a few, slicing up his arms in the process, before he finally rolls out of the way and jumps back to his feet. The PWA World Champion keeps coming, swinging his fists wildly as Maverick is back into the corner. Maverick dodges
a punch and spins Bubba J around putting him into the corner. Maverick kicks him in the gut twice and then goes up to the second shelf, nailing Bubba J with one hellacious kick to the skull! Bubba J's skull is rocked back and Maverick quickly grabs the bottle tops from the slacking hands of Bubba J and climbs up the shelves and mounts Bubba J there.

One!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

Dramatic pause.

TEN!

The crowd loves the violence of it and Bubba J's head is loathing it as it is pouring blood. Bubba J drops to the floor as Johnny looks out at the fans cheering him on. They want to know what he’s thinking. Bubba J weekly shoves Johnny off, the blood helping to slicken the way and Bubba J stumbles forward, leaning against the bar before slowly sliding down amid the liquor, blood, and other trash. Maverick jumps to the top shelf, doing his best to hang on, but Bubba J rolls out of the way, or slumps out of the way.

Brian Rentfro: I don't know if he is conscious or dead.

Maverick leaps to the bar, flips, and lands On Bubba J's rising shoulders before spinning around and slamming him under the bar.

Brian Rentfro: The fans are chanting PWA here in the arena, because this is one hell of a maxi pad ad!

Maverick leans down to pick Bubba J up as Bubba J steadies himself and Maverick spins around with a hellacious back fist! Maverick quickly grabs a thick bottle of liquor and nails Bubba J!

Jon McDaniel: Magic Bullet!

One!

Two!

Three!

Someone in the crowd rings an imaginary bell, as the bell rings in the arena.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Eric Emerson(in the arena): Winner of the match... Johnny Maverick!

A Three Jack Ass Christmas


We see a piano set up just off the side of the ramp, as Eric Emerson stands in the ring with a mic.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, the PWA is pleased to present to you all a very special holiday musical number, featuring two of your favorite superstars and also one you could probably do without. Please give a warm welcome to Emperor Ian, Mr. Americana, and Anna Mathews!

The trio walk out and over to where the piano is. Ian sits at the instrument, while the others grab microphones. Ian starts to play, and Americana starts to sing.

Mr. Americana:
It was chrithmath eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man thaid to me, won’ thee anotha one
And then he thang a thong
The rare ol mountain dew
I turned my fathe away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
Ive got a feelin
Thith yearth for me and you
Tho happy chrithmath
I love you baby
I can thee a betta time
When all our dreamth come true

An Irish band appears on the tron playing as Anna gets ready to sing.

Anna Mathews:
Thayve got kars big ass barz
Thayve got rivas of guld
Butt teh winnd gohs rite frew yew
Its no plays fer da uld
Win jew firs tuk my han
On a kold crismass eev
Jew promussed me
Broddway wos waytin fer me

Jew was ansum

Americana:
You were pretty
Queen of New York thity

Both:
Win teh banned finnithed playen
Thay huwld owt fer mo
Thinutrah wuth thweengun,
Ull duh drunkth dey wur theengun
Wii kithed una kournur
Den danthed frew teh knite

De boyth of tha ennwhypeedee kyer
Wuth theengun galwuh beh
Ann teh bellth wurr ringun awt
Fur krithmath deh

Anna:
Jer a bumm
Jer a ponk

Americana:
You’re an old thlut on junk
Lyin there almoth dead ona drip’n that bed

Anna:
Joo skumbag, joo maggit
Jew cheep lowwsee faggit
Hapee krismass yoor ours
Ah preh Gawd its are lass

both:
De boyth of tha ennwhypeedee kyer
Wuth theengun galwuh beh
Ann teh bellth wurr ringun awt
Fur krithmath deh

Americana:
I coulda been thomeone

Anna:
Will sew kood anniewun
Joo tuk ma dreemz frum me
Win eye furs fown joo

Americana:
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Cant make it all alone
I’ve built my dreamth around ya

both:
De boyth of tha ennwhypeedee kyer
Wuth theengun galwuh beh
Ann teh bellth wurr ringun awt
Fur krithmath deh

The singers dance around while Ian and the band finish up. The crowd cheers their performance and the performers bow.

Jon McDaniel: That was quite a performance, wouldn’t you say Brian?

Brian Rentfro: If you mean quite dreadful, then yes I would say.

Return to the previous subject


Jon McDaniel: There's something going on backstage. Let's go to Lean Bean Miller right now.

LBM: Guys we're here at Gunnar kingsbury's dressing room, where trainers and ring doctors are attending to Kingsbury, who has been the victim of an attack of some sort. I can tell you that it appears he has been burned in the face. They are loading him into an ambulance as we speak. Aphrodite is completely in shambles, so I'm going to try to get a word with Athena, who is also shaken up. Athena, what happened.

Athena: Well, we were getting ready to leave the arena, and there was a knock on the door. Gunnar opens the door and there was a big fireball right in his face. It was...it was that Sykopath guy. I don't know why he would attack Gunnar, except that he came out to help Bogard earlier. I gotta go help 'dite.

LBM: This situation is still very fluid, but we'll try to get more information as it surfaces. Stay tuned to the website for more information. For now, back to you guys.

Anna Matthew vs Matthew Engel

Main Event - Spike Fight of the Night


I know what you are thinking, Matthews vs. Engel...that in any other company would be a PPV main event. But over here in the PWA...we give that to you on free TV. So yeah...Anna nearly breaking Engel's back with a superplex...you'll see that. Hey, you'll even get to see Engel fighting his way back into the match by using such things like grinding his elbow into the small of Anna's back. Maybe it was the high knee to the chin that made you think that Matthew had this match in the bag. I would rather think it was the missed superkick that got countered into a capture suplex that looked like it was meant to cause the maximum amount of damage. But then you realize that this is Anna that we are talking about...you know the former World Champion...the master or time and space and everything remotely geeky and loonie. Engel re-learns that fact as Anna uses her very unique style to target the ribs of the Hall of Famer. Hey, hey...remember this is a wrestling match...and a wrestling match needs some drama. So as t seems as Anna is making the comeback the lights go dim. As the lights come back on there is a man in the middle of the ring wearing a Dodo mask. Anna looks at the man and then slaps the mask right off of him to revel that it is Joseph Simon. Simon goes to grab Anna but is grabbed from behind by Matthew Engel. IMAGES & WORDS!!!!! Anna giggles and goes to mock the fallen Simon when she herself is spun around by Engel...

Sons of Plunder!!!!

1...

2...

3!!!!

Winner: Matthew Engel