World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick


Welcome to RAMPAGE!!!

"I never knew that a kid like me
Could take his mic around the world and flash the big S.D.
And rock the masses, from Madrid to Calabassas
Tijuana, Mexico, bootleg demos in Tokyo..."

The scene opens to Eli Storm sitting behind his desk at Incredible Inc. On his desk sits the contracts of Jethro Hayes, Matt Stone, Corey Lazarus and...Storm pushes the camera away before it could see the last contract. The scene switches to Grizzly Beer Champion, "The Genuine Pulse" Jacob Figgins, who is slowly shining his newly won gold.

“They know me though, 'cause I be puttin' in work
Commit my life to rebirth, well respected, 'cause that's my word
I'm sure you heard, about a new sound going around
She might have left my hood, but she was born in my town"

The scene then switches to PWA IC Champion, Duff Côte d`Ivoire. Duff is spinning some poor soul around and nailing The Master of Puppets '13. The scene then switches to Hunter Sullivan who is waiting for Viktor Stone to turn around before nailing the Viper Snap. Hunter smiles as Stone hit the mat.

"You didn't know, thought we was new on the scene
Well, it's alright! It's alright!
I know you know, I see you smiling at me
Well, it's alright! It's alright!"

The scene switches to Shawn O'Reilly getting forcefully getting removed from a fan fest, shouting and screaming at anyone who will listen to him. The cameras come up on the PWA Tag Team Champion, Matt Stone, smiling at the camera while in front of him rest both titles. Bodie Vera Cruz, is shown posing with the American flag. Sprinkles seem to be falling around him.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South"

Sykopath is seen in the gym, surrounded in a circle of watermelons. As a bell rings he grabs a handful of forks and flings them with amazing speed towards the mid regions (nutts and berries) of the watermelons. Cody Bogard is seen staring at a picture of the PWA Heavyweight Champion. Focused on getting it back.

"Boom! Here comes the Boom!
How you like me now?"

The scene now changes to a beautiful field full of daises. Spread out within the daisies ad plant pots in shape of dodos. Anna Matthews is seen with Pedro, playing dress up with the PWA World Heavyweight Title. As the cameras zoom in, anna whispers something very softly...

Anna Mathews: Beware the puppets.

"Is that all you got?
I'll take your best shot."

The scene now switched to the announcer table where McDaniel and Rentfro are ready to get started.

Jon McDaniel: And welcome back to another action packed episode of RAMPAGE!!! We are live frm the MTS Centre in Canada and after what happened last week...this week's show promises to be a good one. Don't you agree Brian.

Brian Rentfro: I, along with some of the more grateful staff members, wish that Eli Storm...our fearless leader...recovers from that vicious, unwarranted attack that he suffered at the end of last week's show.

Jon McDaniel: Unwarranted!?! He got into the ring an attacked a wrestler.

Brian Rentfro: A wrestler who...if you do your homework, attacked him first.

Jon McDaniel: You have to be joking me...

Brian Rentfro: I am passing around a card. I expect to see your signature on it!!!

Jon McDaniel shakes his head as the camera jumps down to the ring and the first match of the evening.

This is a segment that nobody reads

This is a segment that nobody reads
That nobody follows or talks about ever
It twists and turns through the never
At a rapid combustible speed.

This is the segment that nobody sees
It splinters and rummages throughout time
Drills a hole to your brain but nobody minds
Because it's all dead air anyway.

...or is it?

Let's decipher what you don't see. You don't see a boring 'coming to the arena' thing in which whoever roars up in an obscenely expensive car blaring show tunes strolling in with enough faux swag to make you lol. You don't see two people bump into each other in the halls and attempt to be civil and pretend that the camera isn't there. You don't see Lean Bean Miller or Bud Adams stalking bitches in the hopes of getting a televised interview that actually gives them respect. Eli's not here being a cunt. Jethro's not here being Jethro. Mr. Americana is not slobbering all over your screens. And Cody, hell. Since when has he ever promoted himself beyond circlejerking promos?

Now what exactly do you see? Anna. Anna with all the titles she's won. It's not enough to make golden armor, but more than enough to make the point. And out of all of them, only three aren't replicas. PWA's World title, Victory Wrestling's Car Crash Television, and...

...wait. Maybe you realize that the belt around her waist shouldn't be there. It belongs in a different company on a different person's waist. It's an older version, sure. But it still somehow should not be. Somewhere in this big blue earth, Dixie Carter is calling her attorneys. Or getting a statement written about how cute it all is while pissing her panties in the shadows. Elsewhere, some of her roster and fans starts to remember.

But here? Anna just grins as she is handed a slushee by her pet Mexican.

As she leans against a concrete barrier blocking Deacon Frost access to the halls.

As she snaps her fingers and hums Sweet Jane.

As we fade to something...normal.

Fireside Chat with Jethro Hayes


The flames of the fire are crackling, illuminating a decent sized circle around the two men and lady seated in chairs. Jethro Hayes, with a beer in his hand, Nicole with some sort of mixed drink in her's, and Lean Bean Miller with a bottle of water.

LBM: "Mr. Hayes, thanks so much for this interview."

Jethro waves a hand.

Jethro: "Didn't have much choice, did I? I mean Eli booked it for the show and well, I guess I'm still obligated in some form to give the people what they want."

Jethro pats his chest pocket, where the end of an envelope is seen barely sticking out.

Jethro: "Besides, it comes with a nice chunk of change to speak words to your questions. (pause) You do have questions, right Miller?"

LBM nods.

LBM: "Well, I guess first is, what about the rumor that you are now signed with the UFC?"

Jethro laughs.

Jethro: "A hopeless rumor started by the press because nothing else is going on that is news worthy. I could go into the MMA scene, I've been offered many fight contracts, but... I just like my face as sexy as it is."

He laughs as he rubs his face lovingly, emphasizing the joke.

Jethro: "Strike Force, UFC, and several other groups have contacted me since I've left the PWA, and some even before then, but the MMA scene just isn't for me. I have thought about a fight or two, just to test the waters, but I haven't signed the contract."

LBM: "Are you scared about stepping in to, what they call, the octagon?"

Jethro laughs.

Jethro: "Full Metal Jacket match with Hunter Sullivan, Dome match, Hardcore matches beyond number, not to mention the matches with Matthew Engel... and you Miller think I'm scared to step in to the octagon? I mean really Miller, the MMA matches last a max of twenty-five minutes and I've been involved in many matches that have easily lasted twice as long. But to answer your question, as you appear to be a bit lost, Hell No I ain't scared to step into an octagon."

LBM nods again, looking down at his notepad.

LBM: "Its been said that Cody Bogard humiliated you in your last match and it made you tuck tail and run from the PWA, is there any truth to that?"

Jethro looks at LBM as he takes a swallow of his beer.

Jethro: "No."

LBM: "Just no?"

Jethro nods, sitting his beer back down.

Jethro: "You see Miller, not only have I been tired for months, hurting every single day from my constant 4 years in this company, besides the few times that I was medically forced to take a leave of abscence, but my contract was up. Now, I was offered a new contract, I was offered plenty, but just as I said in the ring... wrestling just wasn't fun any more. I was tired, I was hurting, I was just bored with the PWA."

LBM goes to speak, but Jethro holds up his hand.

Jethro: "I'm not going to lie to you Miller, the loss to Cody is humiliating, his defeat of me put him concretely in the record books. My loss to Emily Corlen put her in the record books as well, but the fact remains Miller, that while humiliating though it was, it had nothing to do with me leaving the PWA."

He sips the beer, crumpling the can before Nicole hands him another one.

Jethro: "Hell I've been humiliated before and didn't run away... remember the Hog Pen match against Duffy?"

They all share a laugh, Nicole and LBM taking a sip of their drink.

Jethro: "The fact that I can only beat Marvin Wood one out of five or ten times. There are several other times, but you see... when you are no longer having fun, then its time to hang them up. I had done every thing there was to do in the PWA, I had gone from the bottom to the top, from the top to the bottom, and leveled off in the middle."

He sips the beer.

Jethro: "I'm not a mediocre talent Miller, I'm not saying I'm the best, but neither am I the worst. The thing is that I was giving my best and it wasn't good enough, and I'm not going to just stick around when I'm not enjoying myself anymore. I'm not going to be another Marvin Wood and just stick around for a paycheck's sake. I'm Jethro Hayes, I'm not just a push over. See, I've got other interests besides the PWA."

He spreads the hand holding the beer out, indicating the wide world.

Jethro: "I've got my farm, my animals, my restaurants, my advertising commitments, but more importantly... I've got my family here. I don't need the money, I don't need the scheduling, I don't need the pain, and I don't have any thing else to prove."

LBM looks down at his notepad.

LBM: "But what about the returning stars?"

Jethro smiles.

Jethro: "Good for them, maybe they didn't invest properly, as I've done. Maybe they miss the grind, as I don't. Maybe there is a lot of maybes that I can't cover here in this interview. Fact is this, they are back, for who knows how long, and good for them and good for the PWA."

LBM: "Is there any truth to the rumor that you may be looking to get a match with either Mark McNasty or Jacob Figgins, two people of whom you've never faced?"

Jethro sips his beer.

Jethro: "Would I take a match with them?"

He ponders this, sipping at his beer and looking in to the depths of the fire before turning back.

Jethro: "For the right price, right time, for the right crowd... yes I probably would. I've never faced or beaten either one of those guys in a one on one match and I'd like to see where I stood in comparison to their talent. McNasty, a fellow Georgian, former Champion, I think it'd be fun. Jacob Figgins, former Champion in his own right, hitting his stride in his career..., yeah I'd like to face him as well to see how we match up. Thing there is, Jacob is hitting his stride, I am a bit rusty from lack of action."

He smiles.

Jethro: "But I do believe it'd still be fun to do... one day Miller, to do one day."

LBM smiles, looking down at another question.

LBM: "What about facing off against the Boston Bulldog Shaun O'reilly?"

He seems to ponder it for a moment.

Jethro: "The guy getting involved with Eli and all that?"

LBM nods his agreement.

Jethro: "Its good that he's standing up to the boss and all, gotta respect the fact that he's going after what he was promised. However, I don't see much of a reason for us to face off."

Jethro holds up a hand.

Jethro: "He wasn't here before, like McNasty and Figgins were, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't still face him in the squared circle. To face people that I've never been in the ring with before is perhaps one thing that would interest me more than any other, but I'm still not ready to come back."

LBM: "What about your garanteed World Title rematch?"

Jethro laughs.

Jethro: "I've got one, sure of that, but I'm not going to do the cookie cutter thing and come back, attack the World Champion, and toss my name down to get the next match with him or her. Like I said Miller, its just not the right time yet. I've got something special planned and it doesn't really involve wrestling."

LBM looks curious.

LBM: "Like what, if I can ask?"

Jethro sips.

Jethro: "You did and it involves speaking vows in front of God and everybody as Nicole and myself get married."

Nicole smiles, LBM is pleased looking as well.

LBM: "Congratulations you two."

They both say their thanks.

LBM: "When is the date?"

Jethro shrugs.

Jethro: "We aren't going to tell anyone but family and very close friends, neither of us want a publicized wedding and that would be filled with the vulchurs looking to get anything that they could lay their hands on."

LBM nods, both men and Nicole look up at the headlights and sound of a car door slamming. Hurried footsteps follow as someone is walking with a definite purpose.

LBM: "Who is that?"

Jethro shrugs.

Jethro: "No idea."

Bud Adams comes in to view, panting heavily and glaring daggers at everyone.

Bud: "You said(looking at Jethro) that the interview was next to the farm."

Jethro nods.

Jethro: "It is, this is one of my many farms.

Bud: "Think you could have been more specific?!"

Jethro indicates LBM.

LBM: "He seems to have found it just fine."

Bud(looking at LBM): "I'll take over from here Miller."

LBM looks up, taken aback from Bud's forcefulness.

Bud: "Ok Hayes, where do we start..."

Jethro smiles.

Jethro: "We don't, interview is over."

Bud looks up, pissed.

Bud: "All that I've been through, all of the shit, and you aren't going to allow me the interview?!"

Jethro shakes his head.

Jethro: "Miller has done a wonderful job."

Bud:(growling) "I bet he has!"

Bud: "Miller!"

LBM: "Sorry Bud, I did as I was told."

Bud can't stand it, he launches himself at LBM, punching and biting away at LBM, but LBM begins to fight back as well; Jethro and Nicole look on sipping their drinks.


The Rise and Fall o the AoWF

An idea like no other....

The best of the best from the greatest federations in the sport.....

The Alliance of Wrestling Federations

Relive the greatest moments from this super-fed in...

The Rise and Fall o the AoWF

Available on PWA Home Video

Hunter and the Prey

Bubba J steps out of the restroom, he looks around and spots Cindy Lou talking with a female technician in the back. Cindy is appearing to have a great time and notices Bubba J standing therestaring at her assets, like a hungry wolf and she is the prey.

Cindy Lou: "Gotta run... and quickly."

Bubba J smirks and puts his phone in his pocket, having moments ago received a text; he sets out after Cindy.

"Come on Cindy, I know you want what's ragin' for you right now."

Cindy hurriedly walks on, looking worried that she can't make her destination quickly enough; Bubba J continues pursuit.

Cindy Lou: "Leave me alone!"

Bubba J: "You know you want it Cindy, don't play with yourself."

Bubba J thinks about that, Cindy stumbles.

Bubba J: "On second thought, forget I said that... do..."

A loud bleep is heard, the A/V people were ready for that one.

Bubba J: "I'd really like to watch that."

Cindy rounds the corner, she is running now and Bubba J is doing his best to keep up and doing a fairly decent job of it, considering his smoking and drinking habits. He rounds the corner, Cindy dives in to a room.

Bubba J: "Got you now."

The door doesn't latch and Bubba J kicks it open, speaking.

Bubba J: "I knew you'd find us an empt..."

He shuts the door as a confused sound enters his voice, the camera crew unable to pick up the picture.

Bubba J: "What in the fuck?"

~Back to Announce Table~

Jon McDaniel: "Bubba J has gone way too damn far!"

Brian Rentfro: "Cindy is about to see how "far" he can go."

Jon McDaniel: "That is sickening Brian, absolutely sickening."

Brian Rentfro: "Yeah, wonder how much the DVD will sell for. Windy Cindy, what a great title."

Jon McDaniel: "Can we get anything back there?!"

Brian Rentfro: "Wonder if I can get a free copy for my title suggestion? Of course she'd have to bl..."

Jon McDaniel: "Thank God we have gotten something backstage!"

Get the Shirt 1

The Ratings Boost

The Incredible One

The Technical Messiah

The Best Ever

Eli Storm

Buy the Shirt

available at

Figgles Gets a Boost

After the commercial break, we return to the center of the ring. Leather chairs adorn and a large television hangs above the ring. Figgins stands inside the ring donning a flashy suit and a fake mustache, which seems to send the crowd into a frenzy. Once the crowd begins to die down, Figgins raises the mic to his mustache

Figgins: Bonjour and welcome to Ze pulse. Ze top source of news in ze pwa. We ‘ave a very special guest tonight. Two infact. Zese two ‘ave been inseperabable in ze past few weeks. And now we shall finally learn ze story of zis most beautiful, ‘ow you say, bromance. Eli Storm and ze big Lavette DeKONE Frost”

Eli’s music hits the speakers, causing a chorous of boos, but the boos soon erupt into laughter when we realize that Eli and Decon seemed to have lost weight...and were standing at about three feet in height.They both make their way to the ring, the Eli impersonator coming down with his boss like swagger. They climb the stairs and enter the ring. Both staring figgy down.

Figgins: Be mine guests, ‘ave a seat. ...Or just stare at me like vou want to murder moi. Zat very awkward, oui

The “Eli Storm” grabs a mic from the chairs, hiking his pants up for added effect.

Eli: I do not appreciate you interrupting business, mister Figgles. May patience is wearing quite short -

Figgins: HAW HAW HAW. Ze wee man said short. You listen here -

The interruption was interrupted by Eli Storm’s music hitting the PA system, of course, Figgy doesn't wait for the real Eli to speak his piece

Figgins: Go away before I taunt you a second time.

Figgins and the midget impersonators simultaneously begin directing a shooing motion at the entrance ramp. as the crowd looks up they see Eli Storm walk through the curtain. Eli looks at the ring and shakes his head.

Storm: I tired...lord knows that I've tried to be understanding. I've tried to be to be different from the other jackasses that have come before me. But it seems like I'm destined to follow their doomed path. And it isn't because I want is because the members of this roster seem to want to test the limits of my patience.

Storm walks back and forth.

Storm: I've tried to give you fair warning Jacob. Because I see a great level of talent in you. You could be the future of this company. but you also have fallen along the road that Anna and O'Reilly have. And in doing so, you have pissed off a very good friend of mine. A friend that next week will want to have a talk with you. So enjoy your midgets while you can...

Storm shakes his head and leaves towards the backstage area.

Summer Sizzler '13

August 4th 2013...

The night new blood was pumped back into a dying fed...

The Night the ratings got boosted...

The night a storm brought in a brighter day...

Where were you when it all changed...

If you missed the moments, here is your chance to relive them...

Gunnar Kingsbury vs Marvin Wood

One RP Stip Match

'The Lonely Shepherd' by Gheorghe Zamfir begins to play from the PA system into the arena. After a few seconds, "The Consummate Professional" Marvin Wood appears from behind the curtain with a dour expression on his face. He walks to the middle of the stage area and stands there for a few seconds, to survey the audience. He then begins walking down the entrance-way. Many of the members of the audience boo, some catcall and a few cheer. He looks at no-one as he approaches the ring, but stretches his fingers a bit. He stretches three fingers on each hand, first, and then four fingers on each hand.

Marvin walks towards the ring steps, and walks up them and towards the middle of the apron, sliding his hand over the top rope as he does so. He pauses there for a few seconds, before entering the ring, right leg first and then left leg. He enters the ring with plenty of pomp and circumstance, as if he were a foot taller than he is. He then walks over to the opposite turnbuckle and waits for Eric Emerson’s introduction.


The arena lights dim as 'Hail to the King' by Avenged Sevenfold begins to play. A solitary spotlight shines on the entranceway as Gunnar Kingsbury steps out, flanked by his 'Goddesses,' Athena and Aphrodite. The crowd greets Kingsbury with loud boos, to whit he replies with a sarcastic sneer. Athena and Aphrodite are treated to whistles and catcalls, which are met with rolling of the eyes.

Watch your tongue or have it cut from your head
Save your life by keeping whispers unsaid
Children roam the streets now orphans of war
Bodies hanging in the streets to adore

Royal flames will carve a path in chaos,
Bringing daylight to the night
Death is riding into town with armor,
They've come to take all your rights

Hail to the king
Hail to the one
Kneel to the crown
Stand in the sun
Hail to the king
(Hail! Hail! Hail!)
The King!

Athena and Aphrodite walk up the ring steps first. They hold the ropes open for Gunnar, who steps through. He walks to center ring, the spotlight resting on him as he awaits Eric Emerson's introduction.


Kingsbury snatches the mic from Emerson's hand and pushes him away.



Jon McDaniel: I think Kingsbury’s going to be tested a little tougher this week with Marvin Wood.
Brian Rentfro: Can Marvin Wood pull out a victory? Can he jerk victory from the mouth of defeat? Can he come out….
Jon McDaniel: Enough! Let’s get the match kicked off!


Wood and Kingsbury lock up in the center of the ring. Kingsbury backs Wood up into the ropes. Swindell calls for a clean break. Kingsbury backs off, then jumps forward, like he’s about to strike. Wood ducks his head between the middle and top ropes. Kingsbury arrogantly backs away, laughing, with his hands in the air signifying a clean break.

Jon McDaniel: Man, what a horse’s ass this guy is.
Brian Rentfro: How can you call him that? All he did was duck into the ropes.
Jon McDaniel: I was talking about Kingsbury.
Brian Rentfro: Oh. No, I like him, too. I actually like both guys, but I’m pulling wood right now.
Jon McDaniel: WHAT?!
Brian Rentfro: I mean, I’m pulling for Marvin Wood right now. GO MARVIN!

Wood and Kingsbury lock up again. This time Marvin backs Kingsbury into the ropes. He doesn’t give Swindell an opportunity to call for a break. Instead, he fires off a series of knife edge chops to the chest of Kingsbury. He hits a couple of forearm shots that rattle the Miami Beach native. Wood whips Gunnar into the ropes, and catches him with a leaping forearm smash that downs Kingsbury.

Marvin goes for a cover, but Gunnar kicks out at one. He then slides out of the ring, into the waiting arms of Athena and Aphrodite, who hug him tenderly. Swindell admonishes Kingsbury to get back in the ring. Kingsbury looks at him like an angry child just sent to his room. Athena and Aphrodite rub and kiss Gunnar’s cheeks, then release their hugs.
Kingsbury stomps up the ring steps, storms into the ring and goes to center ring. He points an accusing finger at Wood and yells, ‘WATCH THE FACE!’ The crowd reacts with a mix of laughter and boos, causing Kingsbury to yell at them to shut up. Wood looks on, a smirk on his face.

Jon McDaniel: Are you kidding me? Watch the face? He does realize this is professional wrestling, right?
Brian Rentfro: You do realize that this guy has a movie star’s face, right? Why, I’d bet that his face is insured by Lloyd’s of London. Do you think the Goddesses bodies are insured?
Jon McDaniel: If his face is, I’m sure he’s done the same for them. What are you doing on your laptop, Brian? We have a match to call.
Brian Rentfro: I’m looking to see if I can get an insurance inspector’s license online.
Jon McDaniel: *SIGH*

Swindell motions for the two competitors to lock up. As they go to lock up, Kingsbury buries his knee in Wood’s midsection, doubling him over. Gunnar then hits a European uppercut that sends Wood to the canvas. Kingsbury follows up with a standing kneedrop to the forehead of ‘The Nomadic Sage.’

Brian Rentfro: Kingsbury showing why he is ‘The King of Wrestling.’
Jon McDaniel: You do know that that he he had to vacate the ‘Reye de Lucha Libre’ Championship, and that that title is not recognized anymore. He just uses the title because he thinks he’s better than everyone else.
Brian Rentfro: I do know this…his name is Gunnar Kingsbury…and HE IS BETTER THAN YOU! And remember, we’re not supposed to mention other federations or their titles. Except Anna. She’s the queen, so she can do whatever she wants.

Gunnar pulls Marvin off the mat and hits an exploder suplex. He goes for a pin, but only gets 2. Kingsbury grabs Marvin from behind and executes a German suplex. He picks Marvin up and press slams him to the mat. Gunnar hits the ropes and splashes Wood.

Kickout at 2 ½!

Kingsbury pulls Marvin off the mat, and whips him into the ropes. He attempts a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Marvin, but Wood shifts his weight and lands on his feet. Wood shifts behind Kingsbury and folds him up with a full nelson suplex. Athena and Aphrodite cover their mouths in concern for their man. Marvin hits a series of elbow drops then goes for the cover.




Marvin is in control now, and pulls Gunnar to his feet. He picks him up in a vertical suplex position.

Jon McDaniel: Kingsbury’s entering the Suplex Labyrinth. One vertical suplex….and another….and another…and..SMALL PACKAGE BY WOOD!


Brian Rentfro: Unfortunately for him, it didn’t pay off. Look at the Goddesses….look at the look of relief on their faces.

Marvin Wood pulls Kingsbury to a vertical base. He then locks in the Octopus Stretch. Marvin cranks on the pressure. Athena and Aphrodite yell encouragement to their man. Kingsbury finally breaks free of the hold, causing Wood to go through the ropes to the floor. Kingsbury falls to the mat. Wood lands on his feet on the floor and quickly hops up on the ring apron. He climbs to the top rope and launches himself off for a top rope splash.

Kingsbury moves at the last possible second, causing Wood to crash face and chest first to the mat. Kingsbury picks Wood up and hits the lungblower on him. He the pulls Wood back into him by the hair and locks in the Deathstar choke. Wood but the missed splash and the lungblower have pushed most of the air out of the lungs of ‘The Nomadic Sage.’ The lack of air, coupled with the choke cutting off the blood flow to the brain, cause Wood to pass out. Swindell calls for the bell, and demands that Kingsbury release the hold or be disqualified immediately. Kingsbury releases the hold and stands center ring. Swindell goes to raise his hand, but is shoved away by Gunnar. He pulls Wood up and hits the backdrop driver on the unconscious Marvin. He then stands to his feet, and Athena and Aphrodite raise his hands in a token of victory. Kingsbury spits on Wood as the trio leave the ring and walk back to the dressing room, serenaded by the boos of the crowd.

Let the Bodies Hit The Floor

We cut backstage to a smiling Bud Adams armed with his trusty microphone. Standing beside him is a 6'5" monster wearing a PWA t-shirt with the sleeves crudely cut off. In his hands he hold a neckbrace, twisting it in his hands like he and the brace have unfinished business. Adams gets into things.

Bud Adams: "Folks, I'm backstage here with the NEWEST Pioneer Wrestling Association signee, Teddy Alexander. Teddy welcome to PWA."

He moves the microphone across to Alexander, who eyeballs the camera but gives the microphone no attention at all. His grizzly response leaves Adams uneasy who reluctantly pulls it back to carry on the interview.

Bud Adams: "Um... oooo-kay. Teddy, there are a lot of tough competitors here in the PWA and a lot with pedigree. What's going to set you apart from the rest?"

The microphone makes its way under Teddy's nose again. This time, he seems to have registered something within Alexander. He looks across at Adams and then back to the camera.

Teddy Alexander: "Bud... you think you've seen tough? Back where I come from, dey call me da Philadelphian Nightmare. Da Spinal Bash Monger. Da Rage-a-geddon. You ain't seen tough 'til you've seen me-" (thumbs himself in the chest then moves to point toward the ring area) "-get inside dat ring where I do my business. My business, Bud, is pullin' wings off of flies. My business is leavin' people layin' dere wishin' dey'd never been spat from deir mother's gooch. My BIZ, Bud, is breakin' fuckin' necks."

Teddy's breathing has become somewhat erratic. His chest is heaving as he continues to speak. Bud gingerly holds the microphone before him.

Teddy Alexander: "Tough? I'm da Goddamned epitome of 'TOUGH', Bud. I ain't gonna just tell ya. I'm gonna SHOW ya. And when dis company lets Teddy Alexander loose on its roster da medical bill is gonna go right through da ROOF! I won't just break ya physically... I'll break you MENTALLY, too. You don't get over da injuries I give ya. Dey stay witchuu for LIFE!" (points to his temple) "Dey stay in here. And den da next time you step inside da ring you're questionin' your ability. Second guessin' ya fortitude. Wonderin' if you shoulda ever bothered wakin' up again at all. DAT... Bud... is TOUGH!"

Folding his arms across his chest, Teddy lets a sadistic grin cross his face.

Bud Adams: "Well, I'm sure there are gonna be a few guys back here that'll be more than willing to test your mettle, Teddy. Champions like Duff Côte d`Ivoire and Jacob Fig-"

A massive dinner plate sized hand stops Bud in his tracks. Teddy's shaking his head and snarling.

Teddy Alexander: "Lemme tell ya somethin', Bud, about ya so called Grizzly Beer Champ Jacob Figgins. See, I GET dat he's usin' dat belt as a steppin' stone to a bigger stage. I get dat. I do. And I can respect dat. But what I DON'T respect, Jake, is dat you're so wound up in lettin' Anna Mathews show you what it's like t'be a real champ you're forgettin' to wear da one you GOT wit' pride. Forgettin' what it MEANS to be a champ."

Alexander waggles a finger toward the camera.

Teddy Alexander: "DAT don't sit wit' me, Jake. Dat don't sit wit' me AT - ALL! See, where I come from ya earn da rungs on ya ladder. Philly born and bred. Workin' man's city wit' a workin' man's spirit. A spirit you don't got. A spirit you ain't NEVER gonna have, Jake. Ya see, when I see you focusin' on tryin' to be somethin' ya AIN'T and forgettin' what's gotten you ta where ya at now it makes me mad. It makes me downright angry. Dat's completely disrespectful for all da other guys back here dat wanna be holdin' dat belt you're forgettin' to spit polish. Dat's a slap in da face to da people who made dat belt what it is today." (counts them out on fingers) "Matt Stone. Vic Wagner. Hunter Sullivan. Johnny Maverick. Chamelion. A belt wit' TWELVE - YEARS - OF HISTORY and you don't pay it da dues it deserves."

Spits on the ground begrudgingly. Bud cringes.

Teddy Alexander: "Well, I'ma tell you somethin' right now, Jake. I'm gonna make you a promise and you can take it to da bank." (pounds his chest with a fist) "I'm comin' for you... CHAMP!"

He pulls the neckbrace in his hand up and wraps it around his neck. Scrawled across the front of it in bad handwriting reads "FIGGINS".

Teddy Alexander: "Let da bodies... HIT... da floor!"

Before departing Adams' side, Teddy points to the name scrawled on the neckbrace and then makes a snapping gesture with his hands. His face is the epitome of intensity. He storms off leaving Adams watching after him, sighing heavily with relief.

On the Scene

LBM(covered heavily in makeup): "I.... I've... just... arrived... on... the... scene..."

LBM is trying to catch his breath.

LBM: "There have been sounds of carnage in the room."

Brian Rentfro: "Carnal actions is more like it... Hmmm, Jon what do you think about Carnal Ass Ass Sins?"

Jon McDaniel: "Dear God, take it back there Miller."

Brian Rentfro: "She'd say the same thing, though doubt she'd be saying Miller."

LBM: "We just heard a high pitched shriek Jon, it doesn't sound pleasant."

A loud thudding is heard, along with a heavy grunt.

Bubba J's voice is heard: "You sick sick sick fuck!"

Cindy obviously screams, but you can't tell if its pleasure or not.

Bubba J: "Give me them handcuffs, I know you've got handcuffs."

Two bodies bang heavily into the door, it shudders from the force.

Bubba J: "Well, if you want it rough?!"

Jon McDaniel: "My God, this is a TV PG 13 show!"

Cindy begins to sob as the door opens up and Bubba J stumbles out, sweaty and covered in blood.

Brian Rentfro: "She is one sick puppy!"

Jon McDaniel: "What? What is Bubba J carrying?!"

Bubba J stumbles across the hallway and leans heavily against the wall, holding a bloody chunk of flesh colored stuff.

Brian Rentfro: "Oh! My! God! Americana took Bubba J's precious licence plate and destroyed his amazing truck... Bubba J took his gut!"

Bubba J looks down at the fake belly, blood dripping down on to it and the straps laying on the floor; he looks back in to the room.

Bubba J: "You sick fuck."

He shakes his head.

Bubba J: "You stole my damn license plate, I'm taking your damn..."

He hefts it up, the straps barely touching the floor; he looks at it with disgust.

Bubba J: "Belly."

Jon McDaniel: "This has gotten way outta hand!"

Brian Rentfro: "Ratings Jon!"

Bubba J makes a phone gesture with his hands as EMTs rush down to Mr. Americana's room.

Bubba J: "Call me."

He waits a moment.

Bubba J: "Better yet, sext me."

He limps off as the camera cuts to show Mr. Americana dangling from the ceiling, blood dripping down onto Cindy as she hugs his legs and sobs uncontrollably.

LBM: "Back to you Jon."


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Bubba J vs Jacob Figgins

First Blood Match

Eric Emerson: The following match is a First Blood match and will only end when one wrestler is made to bleed...

The chorus of Saliva’s “Badass” hits up in the speakers and the PWA-tron stays pictureless.

“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast”

The song transitions to the first verse.

“I need you to hear this loud and clear”

As the first lyric begins to play from Saliva’s “Badass”, Bubba J walks from the back and stares out to the crowd, his fists wrapped in tape;no expression on his face.

“The line and the sand is drawn and I have no fear
When I see red all I need is a reason to set me off
To drop this bomb and pick yourself off the ground”

He slowly begins to walk down the ramp, just staring into the ring, in his own “zone” he pays very little attention to anything surrounding him. No fireworks, nothing spectacular, nothing flashy; just music and him walking.

Eric Emerson: From Lenox, Ga; he stands at six feet and two inches while weighing in at two hundred and fifty pounds… “The Ragin’ Redneck” Bubba J!

Bubba J steps up the ring steps before climbing through the ropes. Bubba J then steps over to his corner, facing the entrance ramp and waiting on the damn match to begin.

“Cause I’m a badass
And you don’t want to clash
Cause your mouth’s writing checks that your face can’t cash
Cause I’m a badass
And this war is your last
You just crossed my path and I’ll drop you fast.”

"Man on the Silver Moutian" Blasts onto the P.A. system when Figgy appears from behind the entrance curtain. He looks left to right then fires his arms up into the air, pyros erupting

Announcer: Making his way to the ring...

Jumping onto a nearby barricade, he throws off his hood to reveal his features. Figgy proceeds to slap hands with nearby fans

Finally traveling toward the ring he takes the time to jump onto the other barricade and exchange with more fans. Before finally tossing off his hoody and casting it into the crowd

Announcer: He weighs in tonight at 235 pounds and hails from Kansas City, Missouri.

Figgy hops off the barricade making a mad dash for the ring. Hopping onto the barricade, he hooks as arm about the top rope. His free arm pumping a fist into the air

Hooking both arms about the top rope, Figgy leans back far, flipping himself into the ring. Quickly hopping onto a turnbuckle to flail his head about

Announcer: He is the "The Genuine Pulse" JACOB FIIIGINNNNS

Hopping off he lands in the center of the ring, bouncing on his feet while awaiting the bell

Ding Ding

Bubba J and Jacob circle each other in the ring, not willing to start this really, and they begin mouthing off at one another. Several seconds of this go on before they nod at each other and slide out of the ring.

Jon McDaniel: Wish we had good enough mics to pick up what they were saying.

Brian Rentfro: Don't complain about this state of the art high tech equipment.

Jon McDaniel: Oh brother.

Brian Rentfro: I am no relation to you.

Both men slide back in to the ring, a weapon in hand; Jacob with a Singapore cane and Bubba J with a light tube They dive in at each other, Jacob flips the light tube out of the ring, nailing Bubba with the cane sending him staggering. Bubba J comes off the ropes clothesline sends Jacob stumbling and dropping his cane. Bubba bends to pick it up, Jacob delivers a knee in to his face causing him to stand up from the force of the blow. Jacob presses his advantage, right, left, right, left. Bubba J is nearing the corner when he fires back with his own fists. Right, left, right, left.

Brian Rentfro: Fistycuffs!

Jacob falls back from this onslaught and Bubba J presses his own advantage; Jacob trips him up, locking on a crossface in the ring.

Brian Rentfro: Its pointless.

Jon McDaniel: He's wearing him down.

Bubba J shoves up on his right hand, turning in to the move and surprising Jacob breaks the submission. Jacob rolls up to his feet, J receives a big knee to the face and goes sprawling in the corner. Figgins presses his advantage delivering a running knee smash into Bubba J's face.

Jon McDaniel: I see blood!

Brian Rentfro: No you don't, its just red skin, I swear...

Jacob pulls Bubba out of the corner pounding a fist forearm fist combo into his skull and topping it off with an elbow smash that rocks Bubba. The Ragin' Redneck thumbs Figgins in the eye and delivers his knee right into Jacob's crotch halting Figgin's offensive onslaught. Bubba J leaps off the bottom turnbuckle smashing his forearm into Figgins' face that sends him onto the canvas. Bubba J stomps on his face, his stomach, and his knees in good measured stomps, delivered with a fast pace.

Brian Rentfro: Stompin' that mudhole!

Jon McDaniel: If it was only you.

Bubba pulls Jacob up, whipping him into the corner, he follows in delivering the point of his elbow into Jacob's mouth, trying to bust him open quickly

Brian Rentfro: Is that blood?!

Jon McDaniel: No, just really red skin.

Bubba fires a right hook into the face of Figgins, but Jacob returns one of his own. Jacob slowly walks Bubba back with rights and lefts, Bubba J walks him back with rights and lefts of his own. Neither man is really getting much of an advantage here, but pnching the hell out of each other and bringing the blood to the surface of the skin, just not causing it to flow forth from their fleshy container. Jacob trips Bubba, his face slamming hard i nto the bottom turnbuckle, but still no blood. Jacob pulls his cane up, whailing away on Bubba's back before using it as a choking tool to weaken the former Global Champion. J tries to fight up, but the choke is working to perfection and he falls back. However a backwards headbutt causes Jacob to twitch and lose the hold, to avoid the head shot, he rolls up to his feet. Bubba J rolls to a knee, Jacob's comes flying in, but the Redneck avoids it, barely and falls out of the ring. Jacob bounces off the ropes as Bubba gets up to his feet, he dives through the ropes shouler blocking Bubba into the railing. Bubba J nails him with a right, but Jacob fires one back of his own and the two of them dance while exchanging rights and lefts, much to the crowd's enjoyment. J whips Jacob into the steps, Figgins reverses it and slams heavily into their unforgiving metal.

Jon McDaniel: Usually unforgiving, those steps gave there when Bubba J's skull slammed into them.

Brian Rentfro: He does have a thick skull.

Jacob stumbles over, pulling the Redneck up and slamming his face down onto his knee, but still no blood. J pounds a fist into the inside of Jacob's planted knee, causing him to fall sideways. Bubba J picks up the step, bringing it down on Figgins' chest, still no blood.

Brian Rentfro: Is either of these men ever going to bleed?

Jon McDaniel: They are pounding away on each other and the blood is just under the surface of their skin.

Bubba J digs under the ring, pulling out a bottle of Jack Daniels Old No. 7, he takes a swig as Jacob comes over and jerks the bottle out of his hand, taking a swig as well. Bubba Jholds out his hand, Jacob gives him the bottle, Bubba J takes a larger shot; he holds the bottle out to Jacob, who matches his shot.

Brian Rentfro: Shot dueling!

Jon McDaniel: This isn't supposed to happen.

Brian Rentfro: It'll make them easier to bleed, don't they realize that?!

Jon McDaniel: I don't think they care.

Both men set the bottle down on the ring apron, digging under the ring and pull out a table, Jacob slides it into the ring as Bubba J slides in two steel chairs. Jacob points to the bottle, which is half gone and Bubba J brings two more into the ring, Figgins' eyes open wide, and his smile is very evident. Bubba J sets them on the table, one on each side of the table and the open one in the middle. Jacob indicates that its Bubba J's turn, he obliges with a large chug, three air bottles hit the bottom of the bottle.

Brian Rentfro: Impressive.

Jon McDaniel: Exactly what these kids should be seeing, this is ridiculous.

Jacob takes the bottle, three bubbles hit the bottom of the bottle and it is finished off, but neither men are really showing the effects.

Jon McDaniel: They are alcoholics!

Brian Rentfro: I'm sure they prefer the term, professionals.

They shove back from the table, each holding their own bottle, they turn it up, each gags and spits it out before looking at the bottle, it reads "Grizzly Beer", they turn and slam the bottles in to each other, neither one shatters. However they stumble back from the blows, each with an already swelling knot on their heads and they stumble around.

Jon McDaniel: See they are drunk!

Brian Rentfro: Ever drank Grizzly Beer?

Jon McDaniel: No.

Brian Rentfro: It sobers you up.

Each is still gagging and stumble in to each other, they swing again and nail the other, they fall down. After a moment they get back up and begin to exchange rights and lefts again, they fall over the rope and to the outside, still exchanging fists like they are kids on the playground.

Ding Ding Ding

Both men look up,

Bubba J has blood coming from his bottom lip.

Eric Emerson: Winner of the match, Jacob Figgins!

Hell & High Water vs Anna Matthews & Shawn O\'Reilly

Tag Team Match

Jon McDaniel: Main Event time! PWA World Champ Anna Mathews teams up with her upcoming opponent, Shawn O'Reilly, to face the PWA World Tag Team Champs, Lucious Starr and Joshua Danielson, aka Hell & High Water. Brian, you've got to know that this is just another attempt by Eli Storm to tear both Mathews and O'Reilly down.

Brian Rentfro: What does it really matter? Whatever they get, they deserve. I thought Anna had a little more sense than to really get on Mr. Storm's bad side. Guess I was wrong. At least I know that there's no possible way that Anna & O'Reilly can co-exist.
They're like oil and Democrats and McDaniel and a hot chic!

Jon McDaniel: *SIGH* Let's just go up to the ring!


Inside the Fire by Disturbed plays as Lucious Starr and Joshua Danielson, Hell & High Water make their way to the ring.

Won't go to heaven
She's just another lost soul,
About to be mine again
Leave her
we will receive her
It is beyond your control
will you ever meet again

One of eleven
Who had been rendered unwhole
As a little child,
she was taken
and then forsaken
you will remember it all
Let it fill your mind again

Devin lies beyond this portal
take the word of one immortal
Give your soul to me
For eternity
release your life
to begin another time with her
End your grief with me
there's another way
release your life
take your place inside the fire with her


The fans are somewhat split in their reaction to H&H, but the tag champs don't seem to care.

Eric Emerson: AND THEIR OPPONENTS.....

The lights in the arena go dark.

'In Time' by Mark Collie begins to play. The fog machines go to work and the entrance lights go red, giving the fog a red hue.

I can hear what you're thinkin'
All your doubts and fear
And if you look in my eyes
In time you'll find the reason I'm here
And in time, all things shall pass away
In time, you may come back someday
To live once more or die once more
But in time, your time will be no more

As the vocals begin, Shawn O'Reilly walks through the curtain, wearing a dog collar and chain. He walks obliviously down the aisle, ignoring the fans. He walks up the ring steps, looks to his left and to his right, then jumps over the top rope into the ring. Some of the fans boo him, some cheer him. He's oblivious to both sides. He stands, emotionless in the middle of the ring.

You know your days are numbered
Count 'em one by one
Like notches in the handle of an outlaw's gun
You can outrun the Devil if you try
But you will never outrun the hands of time

In time there'll surely come a day
In time, all things shall pass away
In time, you may come back some say
Live once more or die once more
But in time, your time will be no more



The arena goes dark. the cranking of a music box key as the tron light begins to filcker. The arena is filled with the guitar and beat of Childhood (Don't) A-Go-Go.

KAPOW and ZOOM in the romper room
My world's a big cartoon
And I'm never gonna leave it now
A cracker jack-ass prize
I wanna slip and slide
My secret hide out, ride out
on my big wheels bike
I hit the thrusters on my mean machine
It's painted black and green
and I'm never gonna give it up
So leggo my super hero ego
My psychosis has been molded
into a ball of Play-doh

As the chorus starts, Anna Mathews steps out to the cheers and boos of the crowd. The spotlight shines on the PWA as she makes her way down the aisle..

Well, hang on
and we'll be best imaginary friends
to the end.
for ages eight and up.
Shake it up like an Etch-A-Sketch
Erase the filthy wretch
of the life I have rejected now
Well, Simon says "grow up"
and Simon says "shut up"
and Simon says "give up"
and be like everyone else.
I do not like it on a boat.
Don't like it with a goat.

At this point, Anna disappears from the spotlight and the rest of the light come back on and teleports to the ring. She re-appears, standing next to O'Reilly, whO jumps back a couple of steps.



Jon McDaniel: It looks like we're ready to get the main event going. You got anything, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: Nope...I'm good.


Lucious Starr steps out of the ring, allowing Danielson to start the match. Anna and Shawn appear to be having a disagreement over who will start the match. Anna whispers someting in O'Reilly's ear. O'Reilly looks sideways at Anna, then shrugs and the two square off in a heated battle of rock paper scissors. Anna wins, and to celebrate, immediately attacks Danielson with the Big Ball of Violence.

Anna pulls Danielson off the mat and whips him into the opposite corner. She hits a perfectly executed handspring back elbow. Danielson staggers out of the corner and falls to the mat. Anna lands a standing moonsault and goes for the cover


Danielson gets the shoulder up at 2 1/2 !

Anna applies an arm wringer, drags Danielson over to her crner, and tags in O'Reilly. O'Reilly climbs to the top rope and comes off with an elbow to the arm. Shawn whips Danielson into the corner, and follows him in with a running lariat. He whips Joshua into the opposite corner and hits another running lariat. Shawn bodyslams Danielson, then tags in Anna. Anna comes over the top rope with a flipping seated senton.

Jon McDaniel: I can't believe how well these two are working together!

Brian Rentfro: Mr. Storm! We've got a problem! These two aren't fighting each other!

Anna pulls Danielson off the mat, and throws him into the ropes. Anna goes for a dropkick, but Danielson holds onto the ropes. Anna hits the mat hard. Joshua tags in Starr, who immediately begins laying te boots to the champ. Lucious slams Anna to the mat and hits a legdrop. Starr covers but only gets a two count.

Starr picks Anna up and drives her into his corner. While Danielson chokes Anna with the tag rope, Starr kicks Anna in the chest and stomach. O'Reilly is trying to get over to help, but Cross is blocking him in. O'Reilly hops out onto the apron, then hits the floor and runs around on the floor to the tag champ's corner. He pulls Danielson off the apron causing him to land face first on the floor. He then climbs in the ring and joins Anna in a double team beatdown of Lucious Starr. Anna and O'Reilly hit 'Total Elimination' on Starr.

Brian Rentfro: WHAT THE HELL!

Jon McDaniel: Storm's plan not wirking too well?

Brian Rentfro: SHUT UP!

Jon McDaniel: COVER!



t the last second, Danielson dives into the ring to break up the count. He rolls back out to the apron and gets he tag from Starr. Anna makes the tag to O'Reilly. O'Reilly bulldozes Danielson with a clothesline. He pulls Danielson up and hits the rolling Germans. He pulls Danielson up like he's about to hit another German suplex, then tags Anna. He then hoists Danielson on his shoulders. Anna gets a running start, leaps onto the ropes and springboards into the boomerfly kick on Danielson. O'Reilly knocks Starr off the apron as Anna maes the cover.






The crwod is cheering as Cross raises the hands of the PWA Champion and her top contender. The two shake hands in the center of the ring. The grips tighten, as the joy of victory gives way to the ill will that had defined their rivalry to this point. Anna and O'Reilly go nose to nose as referee Cross tries to separate them. Mathews holds the belt above her and O'Reilly.