Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


10-28-2012


The Phoenix vs Emperor Ian

Singles Match


You already know what happened in this one so I don't even know why you're checking. Obviously the Phoenix won, obviously there were shenanigans and obviously we were all left going: man, what happened to that fat dude? Didn't he used to be a badass? Well, not a badass, but didn't he used to be a guy we all acknowledged as one to watch? Waitng for him to break out, forever, like Bogard.

Anyway. Phoenix does some chewing and the fat guy gets attacked by bears. No one is surprised, except by the bears.

Although I may have made those up.

C3 vs Those Two Bitches

Tag Team Match


Jon McDaniel: Well, folks, coming up next, we were scheduled to see the PWA World Champion in action, as Emily Corlen reunited with her former C3 partner Justin Case to take on the formidable team of Dagger and Anna Mathews.

Brian Rentfro: Tell 'em why that match isn't gonna happen, Jon.

Jon McDaniel: From what I can gather, they -

Brian Rentfro: They're taking the night off! In a LUXURY BOX!

Brian scoffs and shakes his head.

Jon McDaniel: Why are you so upset, Brian?

Brian Rentfro: Why? Why!? Emily is the PWA World Champion! What kind of Champion just DECIDES she isn't going to work today? What kind of message does that send?

Jon stares at Brian for a moment, the wheels turning.

Jon McDaniel: You're upset that they didn't invite you to hang out with them.

Brian Rentfro: THEY'RE HAVING BEER AND STEAK! Of COURSE I'm upset I didn't get invited! And why the hell not? I'm cool! I'm down! I'm hip to the max!

Jon McDaniel: ...I think you just answered your own question, Brian.

Brian doesn't reply, instead uttering a few barely audible grumbles.

Jon McDaniel: Right then. While my partner tries to get over not being invited to sit at the cool kids' table, I understand we have a cameraman up there in the luxury box rented out by Miss Corlen. Let's take a look at the festivities, shall we?

Brian Rentfro: BRING ME A MILLER LITE!

With that, the camera shifts upward, to one of the high price luxury boxes overseeing the arena. At the moment, Emily Corlen is alone, a freshly opened bottle of Chaos Theory brew in her right hand. Her World Title and RXW Tag Title are draped on the nearest chair to her as she watches, enjoying the action thus far. A knock at the door gets her attention and she walks across the room. She opens the door and sees the Legendary Legacary himself, Justin Case, standing there with a six pack of Molson Canadian (with two bottles missing). His manager, The Wiz, is behind him, holding a cheese plate.

Emily Corlen: Hey boys. Come on in.

Justin and Wiz enter. Justin sets the beer down and looks around.

Justin Case: Good to see you, Em. Are we early? Where's the talent?

Emily chuckles and rolls her eyes.

Emily Corlen: Men.

She smirks.

Emily Corlen: Well, uh... I haven't heard a word about Dagger, truth be told. I don't think Anna's gonna show up, though. Probably because you're here.

She looks at Justin, who looks like someone just ran over his puppy.

Emily Corlen: Uh, you know... no offense or whatever.

She winces a little. She didn't REALLY mean to hurt his feelings.

Probably.

Justin looks back at Wiz, and then picks his beer back up.

Justin Case: You know what, then? Fine! If Anna's not coming because of me, then I'm not coming because of HER!

Emily Corlen: Uh, I really don't think that's -

Without another word, Justin storms out of the luxury box, beer in hand. Wiz watches him go, and then looks back at Emily.

The Wiz: So, uh, you still dating Matt Stone? Cause if you're not, maybe you and I could -

Before he can finish his sentence, Case barges back into the room and grabs Wiz by the arm, then drags him out of the room before turning to slam the door. Emily watches and shakes her head.

Emily Corlen: Well, that was weird and entirely expected.

She sighs.

Emily Corlen: Oh well. Free cheese plate!

Emily chuckles to herself and turns around to walk back over to the view overlooking the arena, but exclaims loudly in a startled fashion as she sees Dagger standing in front of her, looking incredibly innocent.

Emily Corlen: Oh, geez! I... didn't hear or see you come in, Dagger.

Emily exhales for a few seconds, catching her breath and regaining her composure.

Emily Corlen: So, uh... hey.

She smiles sheepishly, noticing Dagger inching closer and closer without saying a word.

Emily Corlen: Um... c-could I get you a drink? Maybe some cheese? Or a-

Dagger: Are your eyes portals to the forbidden forest, Pillowpants?

Emily Corlen: Forbidden... what? Uh... anyway, it's nice to finally meet you, Da-

Dagger: This is my father, Barbedwire... and that fuzzy hat guy I killed a couple weeks ago, Yakky.

Emily seems confused. Obviously.

Emily Corlen: Uh, hey there.

Dagger: They follow me always... know a way to get them off my tail?

Emily Corlen: Can't say that I do. Have you tried a yard sale?

Dagger: ...I don't think the lady in the attic would want me selling her yard. Zounds, they are distracted!

Emily watches Dagger wander off and shakes her head.

Emily Corlen: I think I like you, kid. Let's get our drink on.

Emily smirks and walks back into the luxury box, following Dagger as the scene cuts to commercial.

Jethro Hayes vs Thomas Manchester Black

Singles Match


Jethro and TMB don’t waste any time as they tear into each other. Jethro firing off those country rights and lefts, with TMB answering with MMA style forearms and elbows. The bell finally rings and Jethro is starting to get the upper hand on TMB, starting to force him back into a corner. The bigger Hayes is starting to throw those fist faster and faster, but Hayes has gone to the well one too many times and TMB ducks the right and hooks Hayes up. TMB makes sure he has a good base under him as he lifts Hayes up and over into the corner with a exploder suplex. Hayes folds in the corner on impact and TMB drops to his knees as a smile creeps across his face. TMB rolls over to his hands and legs and pulls himself up on the ropes, he starts to stomp the ring waiting for Hayes to get up. Hayes gets up and stumbles into the corner and Black rushes with a head full of steam and plants his boot right into the jaw of Hayes, nearly sending the former PWA World Champion over the ropes. Hayes slinks down to a seated position and TMB starts to unleash kick after kick on him, almost trying to cave his face in. Black picks Hayes up and fires him into the ropes, but Hayes holds on. Black rushes in going for another Yakuza kick, but Hayes drops down while holding the ropes , letting TMB go flying out of the ring into the floor. Hayes rolls out and drops to the floor. Jethro picks up Black and fires a elbow sending Black back. Hayes grins himself as he measures up Black. Jethro signals for “The Plow” but at the last second Black kicks Hayes in the faces and steps back. Black rushes in himself and is greeted with a kick to the midsection and Hayes smiles before nailing “The Planter” right on the ring apron, nearly breaking Black in two.

If Hayes Wins…

Jethro grabs TMB and throws Black into the ring. Jethro leans back into the corner and waves for TMB to get up. Thomas gets up and stumbles around for a moment. Thomas Manchester Black spins around as he hear the stomping of running feet on the mat. TMB finally sees where the sound is coming from but it is too late as he is folded in half by the raging tractor known as Jethro Hayes and THE PLOW!!!! Jethro for the cover...

Winner: Jethro Hayes

If TMB Wins…

Jethro grabs TMB and throws Black into the ring. Jethro leans back into the corner and waves for TMB to get up. TMB turns around and Jethro rushes in, but TMB sidesteps him and send him chest first into the corner. TMB tries to go from that chincheck clothesline but Jethro ducks and to wrap Black up. But as he rushes in TMB counters him right into the Black Hole Slam, which Thomas floats into a Andaconda Vice. Black has it in tight in the middle of the ring. The ref drops down to check and Hayes unwillingly starts to tap.

Winner: Thomas Manchester Black

Short, Sweet and to the Point


"Ride Through the Country" blares to life and the crowd has a modest reaction to Jethro Hayes, modest in half boos and half cheers. Some like the way he is acting, some wish he'd go back to the good ole boy that he once was. Jethro wastes little time in getting down to the ring and grabbing a microphone.

"Cut the music."

He nods at Eric.

"Thanks man."

He turns back to the PWA-tron.

"I'm going to make this short, sweet, and to the point."

Brian Rentfro: "Thank God."

Jon McDaniel: "Shut up Brian."

Jethro is breathing heavily a bit, out of anger though.

"You've ran for too long and you have one week to come out here and volunteer your answer or I'll come and find your ass and get an answer out of you."

He laughs that cold laugh.

"Either way you are gonna get an ass whooping... southern style."

He pauses.

"Phoenix, you... me... cage... next pay per view."

He waits.

"I know you won't answer tonight..."

He waits a second.

"But I expect you to have an answer next week or I'll beat an answer out of your sorry ass."

He throws down the mic, then climbs out of the ring as "Ride Through the Country" picks back up.

Jon McDaniel: "What an ultimatum from Jethro Hayes."

Brian Rentfro: "Phoenix won't be bothered to answer, he's way above Jethro's level."

THIS IS A MIDDLE OF THE SHOW SEGMENT!


And what antics may befall the PWA when our World Champion and resident crazy lady are stuck in the same room? Find out after these... what? We just had a commercial? Well, shit, I was hoping to drag this out a little more. Emily Corlen and Dagger are sitting inside the lavish luxury box, watching the action in the ring from way up high. Well, they may have been out of their peripherals... well, maybe just Corlen. Dagger was busy with the mini fridge, stacking the mini bottles of liquor into odd little patterns, claiming that if done right, it would increase power efficiency by a nimian's fold. I have no clue what a nimian is, and I'm pretty sure you don't either. But Dagger seemed VERY passionate about the claim, so humor her. One might notice that there is a slight reddish tinge to Dagger's cheeks. Also, that there are quite a few empty bottles scattered at her feet. In fact, she pops open a mini Jack Daniels and downs it, mumbling to herself.

Dagger: Too many, will cause another ripple in the cosmic ripple.

Emily, of course, couldn't help but loose a chuckle at the girl's tedious work to achieve whatever. Dagger finally stomps back with a defeated look on her face, hanging her head. Corlen captures the woman in a half hug. Dagger looks to the woman for a moment as they lean in closer... only for Dagger to pause.

Dagger: I can see your brain.

Dagger whispers in one of those whispers you can hear halfway across the room. Certainly not an appropriate whisper for a woman you are only mere inches from. Emily recoils slightly from the smell of liquor on the strongly inebriated girl.

Emily Corlen: You are certainly an odd one, Dagger.

Dagger: Akemi!

Emily Corlen: Oh, is that your real name? Akemi?

Dagger: Get out of my head! *hic* No mind-reading on the first date.

Emily Corlen: But, you just... nevermind.

She chuckles.

Emily Corlen: And by the way, sweetie, it's not a date until you buy me something.

Emily winks. Oddly enough, Dagger reaches into the inside of her boot and produces a pixie stick! And a blue one at that! She offers it to Emily like it was a treasured possession. With the look on Dagger's face, Emily had to accept it.

Dagger: I crushed the bones of a thousand pixies for you!

Emily Corlen: Um... thanks...

Their... I guess we would call 'tender' moment is broken up by one of the arena staff entering the luxury box with a cart full of food. Not your typical arena food like hot dogs and nachos, either. No, it was real food, like steak, crab legs, fancy cakes, CHICKEN ALA KING! Okay, the last one wasn't there, but it's fun to say, so sue me. Dagger and Corlen pick up their paper plates and take what they want, setting it on a chair. Or rather, Emily set a plate down for Dagger, who was eyes deep into a piece of cake.

Dagger: Oh, this is wondrous! Like angels atop cloud candy sent down into a waiting robot-coupe!

Um... whatever the hell that's supposed to taste like. Dagger's eyes get that dangerous look, the look of a mad woman with a great idea. And a drunken great idea at that.

Dagger: WE MUST SHARE!!!

Emily Corlen: What are you...?

Dagger places herself upon the back of the cart and kicks off the ground, pushing the cart into a high speed. Apparently, a little bit of liquor made Dagger think she had the ability to fly, because that cart barreled straight for the front window of the luxury box, and didn't stop! Emily, luckily being the only partially buzzed one of the two, managed to yank Dagger off the cart before it went crashing out of the open window and flying into the stands below.

Dagger: The Windex man came!

Fade to commercial.

Alison James vs Benjamin Dyce

Singles Match


In the grudgest of grudge matches you'll see all week (or last week if you want to be like that because that's totally when it happened), Benjamin Dyce put the hurting on James, like the bad dude with the heart of stone that he is. James kept herself game throughout, forcing Benjamin throw his lot at her and drain him down the stretch, allowing the pluck young fuck to come back and beat him around the ring before giving him a scare with the Bleeding Rose for two.

Benjamin kept his hopes alive but struggled to keep himself relevant in this swelling grudge match. James, sensing blood, looked to wrap it up with the Born to Fly, but caught nothing but mat as Dyce slipped out of the way. Dyce then jumped on her, looking to waste as little time as possible with the Memento, however a late appearance from Elena Siminovialala allowed Alison to drop off the back when Dyce turned his attention to the GB champ. Dyce took a swing at her and she dropped off the apron, allowing James to seal the deal with the Shock and Awesome, catching him off guard, scoring James the win and giving Elena a small measure of revenge over the man who put her on the shelf just weeks ago.

THIS IS A LATER SEGMENT


We rejoin Emily Corlen and Dagger inside of Emily's luxury box; the window of the box was luckily open when Dagger threw the food cart through it, but the area directly underneath wasn't quite so lucky. While the cart didn't hit any fans, several of them got covered with food and PWA officials were fast to relocate them to a much nicer area of the arena to compensate them and hopefully prevent any of them from suing the company. Up in the box, a lone security guard working for the arena, balding and portly, is in the middle of a discussion with Emily and Dagger, looking ever more uninterested in his job.

Security Guard: Look, I don't make the rules. I don't care if yer the PWA Champion or the President of Canada. You break the rules, yer outta the box. C'mon. Git.

Emily Corlen: President of... *shakes head* Sir, this is all just a HUGE misunderstanding. You see, my friend here had a little bit too much to drink, and she thought that -

Dagger: But Dagger was trying to share! Meany marshmallow man! *hic* Why do you have rules against sharing?!

The guard watches Dagger go on for a moment before turning his attention back to Emily.

Security Guard: You shoulda thought of that before you let your friend drink. You gotta go. I don't care where you go, but you can't stay -

Emily Corlen: I will pay you a hundred dollars not to finish that super clichéd sentence.

Security Guard: Right. Let's go.

The guard motions to Emily and then to Dagger, who looks terrified.

Dagger: Dagger can't go to prison, Figgy pudding man went there! And they removed his lucky charms... Irish people have those, right? And no one will accept bail from a teddy bear!

The guard turns to Emily.

Security Guard: Is she gonna be okay?

Emily Corlen: That is an excellent question and I have absolutely no idea.

The guard shakes his head.

Security Guard: Alright, look. Calm your friend down and... just gather your stuff and be out of here in a few minutes, okay? Don't make me come back with more guys.

Emily Corlen: There are more of you? That's so sad.

The security guard gives Emily a warning glance, and then wanders out of the room. Emily walks over to Dagger and gently places her hands on Dagger's shoulders in perhaps the nicest gesture she's exhibited in ages.

Emily Corlen: Hey... calm down, okay? Everything's fine. Nobody's in trouble.

Dagger: So, they won't bring the shiny bracelets and steal my pop rocks?

Emily Corlen: Naaaah. Besides, this works out perfectly! The show's kinda lame tonight without either one of us wrestling. I thought maybe we could bow out early, grab a bite or something. I never did get that steak.

She chuckles.

Emily Corlen: And besides, I think you could use some coffee.

Emily laughs and gathers her things, grabbing her belts last. She makes her way towards the door of the luxury box before turning back to Dagger.

Emily Corlen: You coming?

Dagger: We're off to never never land!

Dagger suddenly became a human MP3 player... fun. Emily laughs again, motioning for Dagger to follow. She does and the two ladies exit the luxury box, hitting the lights before the camera cuts back to the ring.

MAIN EVENT Cody Bogard vs. Mr. Hardcore vs. Elena Simonova

Triple Threat Match


The main event was a balls to the wall gun show as everyone expected, with Elena absorbing a great deal of punishment from both men early, partly because she was a tool to both of them and partly so the commentary team could make spit roasting jokes. Elena eventually fund herself on the outside, allowing her to catch a breather while Mr. Hardcore and MAIN EVENT Cody Bogard began knocking the shit out of each other. The fans rose to their feet for the hot as balls action as both men dropped in the big guns, looking to end the match quick before Elena could get back involved. Of course the obvious end result was burning themselves out, but no one in the crowd was telling that. They came for blood, death and probably food.

Following a string of nearfalls Mr. Hardcore and MAIN EVENT Cody Bogard found themselves on their knees trading shots before fighting their way up and swinging for the fences. Hardcore opened up Bogard and sent him back, leading to Bogard heading for the ropes for a big hit. elena however had other ideas and dropped the top-rope, sending him to the floor. Elena then jumped up for a springboard while Hardcore dropped to a knee, but cameback with just enough to put her down as he stepped up and ripped her out of the air with a Lariat. Hardcore threw everything into it but found himself left wanting as Elena kicked out. Hardcore tried his best to keep up the momentum and looked to finish her off, this time with the Point blank Lariat, only for Elena to slip past him and catch him on the turn with the Hammer and Sickle. The result was enough to secure her the pin and put Elena back on the winning path.