Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


07-17-2011


Country Roads Take Me Home


"Ride Through the Country" hits up in the speakers as from the back to a loud ovation comes Jethro Hayes. Jethro limps down the ramp heavily, shuffling, and looking like he's been through a war, which he has. Jethro steps up the ring steps, moving slowly as he climbs through the ropes and into the ring where he receives a microphone from Eric Emerson. The crowd are chanting his name like there is no one else in the world they'd rather see right now, but Jethero just turns around nodding at them all. Jethro holds up a hand to quiet them down, but it only serves to get them to a louder volume, which causes The Southern Hero to smile and once again nod his head. He brings the mic up to his mouth.

"Thank you. Thank you."

He holds up his hand, looking like he is in obvious pain as the crowd slowly begins to quiet down.

"As many of you suspect, from the rumors and my own words..."

The crowd is nearly silent now listening to Jethro speak.

"At High Stakes, I suffered a couple of cracked vertebrae and had possibly bruised my spine thanks to Panzadise."

The crowd boos for the haneous attack.

"Granted, he did what he said that he would and beat me in the Londons Burning match and I give him the respect he earned in doing so... having that Nintendo on hand really helps out doesn't it Panzadise?"

Again the crowd boos the weapon use in the match. Jethro shrugs.

"And his mystery NAP member in Monkey McD didn't help, nor did his being in the match really hinder me either. But I'm not out here to give blame, because fact is that I lost; I gave it everything that I had and came up short in my goal of beating Panzadise."

A smile through pain crosses his face.

"But he can't say that I was an easy win, that he just walked right through me because I was anything but that. There were times in the cage when I'd see the flickering flame light up the fear in his eyes."

A shrug.

"But he won and congratulations on that Panzadise, it isn't over between us just yet. However, there is another reason I'm out here and it is due in part to the NAP."

The crowd boos again.

"And it is because of them that I'm really having to do this right now, when I least want to do it."

He nods as the screen plays the toppling cases fall onto Jethro; the camera cutting back to show the shocked face of Tony and Carlos. The crowd boo even heavier, Jethro nods.

"Yeah, I could have kept on competing, just making sure to keep my back as strong as possible by working out, taking the road and house shows easy..."

He points up to the screen.

"But because of this accident or purposeful attack... I've been forced to medically take at least four to six months off from competition."

Boos come from the crowd, but not directed at Jethro.

"However, for those of you wondering about the state of Second 2 None, I've been allowed to compete in one more match, pending I pass all of the tests so that we can successfully defend the AOWF Tag Team Championships in the next couple of weeks."

A nod as the crowd cheers.

"But after that match, I'll have to take the time off because thanks to Tony and Carlos, my injuries' severity have been doubled and in the case of the two cracked verterbrae... I now have three."

He holds up a hand.

"Along with a few other nagging injuries. But don't worry, Jethro Hayes will return to action and there is one man on my hit list at the moment..."

He glowers as he stares towards the entrance ramp.

"And that man is Panzadise, because nothing he can say or do will ever convince me that this was an accident. He knows that he got lucky at Summer Sizzler, he knows that I'm a threat to him here and his status in the PWA... so..."

Another pain filled smile comes across his face.

"When I come back, I intend to make full on that threat. Go ahead and become PWA World Champion, if Engel chooses to let you have the title, but this is beyond the title. Panzadise, this is about more than a belt that weighs fifteen pounds, this is about more than being called a champion..."

He stares still.

"This is about pride. See you when I get back Panzadise, until then look around every corner because the gloves are off, the honorable rookie versus the Legend is gone; this is about two men that are going to beat the hell out of each other."

A smile.

"Engel, just make sure to save a little for me after ya'll's match."

The crowd start up another Jethro chant as "Ride Through the Country" hits back up.

Dire Straights


[President Robinson is sitting in his office, drinking Yoohoo from a brandy snifter. Mostly because the word "snifter" is so much fun. Then the following things happen in this order: A knock on the door. An annoyed look on Robinson's face. A door opens. A man enters. The look of annoyance intensifies. The camera shows the man to be Fantastic Andy Strickland. Let's see what happens next.]

President Robinson: What is it, Andy? I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

Fantastic Andy: I've been running the numbers...

President Robinson: Go run them someplace else.

Fantastic Andy: I'll have to in about a month or so...

President Robinson: What's that supposed to mean?

Fantastic Andy: Remember when you bought the PWA and I told you it was in pretty sorry shape financially?

President Robinson: Yeah? But we've been putting on killer shows since then.

Fantastic Andy: True, but our expenses have sky rocketed.

[Robinson takes a drink of his $250 a bottle Yoohoo Select.]

President Robinson: How is that possible?

Fantastic Andy: I'm not going to point fingers or anything. All I'm going to say is that costs are up and revenue is holding steady.

President Robinson: Then make some more money. Jesus, this isn't rocket science.

Fantastic Andy: I've got some ideas, but they all take time.

President Robinson: Then get started on them. Whatever you want, we'll do it.

Fantastic Andy: It isn't as easy as all that, Rob. I said the ideas take time. We don't have any left.

President Robinson: Quit beating around the bush and say it, Andy. What's the bottom line?

Fantastic Andy: We'll be lucky to make it to Manitoba Mayhem.

[Robinson tries to take another drink of his $250 a bottle Yoohoo Select, but finds his snifter is empty. He looks over at the empty bottle to his left, growls and then reaches under his desk to grab a new bottle, which he cracks open and drinks from directly without bothering with the snifter. A few seconds later, the bottle is drained.]

President Robinson: Ok, we can turn this around.

Fantastic Andy: Yeah, I'm not really so sure about that.

President Robinson: Come on, Andy! I'm fighting to keep my company alive!

[Robinson grabs a third (that we know of) bottle of Yoohoo Select.]

Fantastic Andy: There's only one thing I can think of that will bring in enough cash to keep us afloat long enough for the other plans to start working.

President Robinson: Great! Anything! Whatever you say!

Fantastic Andy: You're not gonna like it.

President Robinson: Do I have a choice?

Fantastic Andy: Not really.

President Robinson: Then whatever it is, DO IT!

Cody Bogard vs Vicious Vic Wagner

Singles Match


Eric Emerson: Introducing from San Mateo California He stands at a height of 5 feet and 11 inches tall, weighing in at 210 pounds. “The King of Hearts“ Cody Bogard

Cody makes his way down to the ring, and the fans cheer, and cody slaps high fives as he goes down the ramp. Cody makes his way over to the ring, springing up to the ring apron, climbing the turnbuckle and posing with his arms open in a pose to a ton of cheers. Cody jumps from the turnbuckle as he thrusts his arm into the air to a hail of cheers. Cody takes his time to prepare for the match.

Eric Emerson: Introducing Fighting out of Munich, Germany He stands at a height of 6 feet and 4 inches tall, weighing in at 259 pounds. He is your reining PWA Grizzly Beer Champion Vicious Vic Wagner.

Vic Wagner appears at the top of the stage looking pissed off to be here. Vic has the PWA Grizzly Beer Championship around his waist. Vic points at the belt with a wicked grin on his face, and then moves to the top of the ramp. Wagner holds up his right hand with his ring and middle finger forming a V and yells "Vicious", then quickly brings up his left hand has his ring and middle finger forming a V and yells "Vic". He then places the two Vs together to form a W and Yells "Wagner", and then lowers his ring fingers to flip off the crowd begins to head down the ramp. Vic Wagner heads down the ramp trash talking fans, he almost ends up throwing punches at a few select fans some other fans he makes a jerking motion towards. Vic Wagner rolls into the ring, and stands up unstrapping his title. Vic tosses the belt towards the ref not really looking at him like it doesn’t matter, and then moves into his corner. Vic ends up half sitting, and half leaning on the second turnbuckle with his arms stretched out over the top ropes

The Ref calls for the bell Ding Ding Ding. The two men move to the center of the ring. They circle before locking up. Vic quickly slides behind Cody placing him in a hammerlock, Vic hooks Cody’s other arm in a full nelson, and then Vic throws Cody over head with a Hammerlock Half nelson suplex, and Cody lands on his feet. Vic gets to his feet, and turns around to see a standing Cody who charges in on Vic, and beings a rapid fire series of slaps as he yells ORA! ORA! The rapid fire assault it backing Vic up, but Vic is not unprepared. Vic brings up his right leg, and hits Cody with a front push kick which acts more like a shove knocking Cody back as well as causing him to fall down onto his ass. Cody quickly gets back up to his feet, and the two men stare at each other. The being to circle one another, and then come to a collar to elbow tie up. Vic knees Cody in the gut, and doubles him over in pain. Vic sets Cody up in a front face lock, and swings him around for a neck breacker, but Cody swings back around, nails Vic in the gut with a hard right. Cody sets Vic up in a front face lock, and goes to fall back for a DDT, but Vic blocks it. Vic grabs a hold of Cody’s waist and takes him over head with a Northen lights suplex. Vic pulls Cody up off the mat, and lifts him up in the air going for a brain buster, but Cody has other ideas. Cody gets his arm behind Vic’s head, and then swings his body down planting Vic head first into the matt with a DDT. Cody pops up to his feet, and walks over to the ropes getting the crowd into the match. When Cody turns around to find Vic back on his feet, and looking a little unsteady. Cody charges the bigger man, and leaps up into the air landing on Vic’s shoulders. Before Cody can do anything Vic grabs his hips, and then tosses him down shoulder first into the mat with a strong powerbomb. Vic walks over to Cody, and pulls him up to his feet. Vic grabs a hold of Cody’s arm Irish whipping him off into the far ropes. Cody hits the ropes, and comes back at Vic who throws a clothesline at him. Cody ducks the clothesline, and comes back at Vic hitting him with an Excalibur Slash. That takes both men off of their feet. Cody is the first to get back up to his feet, and pulls Vic up to his knees. Cody pulls Vic up to his feet, and hits him with the Hero Time. Cody rolls over Vic, and covers him. The ref slides into position 1...2...Kickout! Wagner rolls out of the ring, grabs his title belt and heads backstage, drawing a countout.

Marxx vs Thomas Manchester Black

Singles Match


In a virtual repeat of last week's match, Black comes out with a flurry of kicks. Marxx keeps his wits about him and fights back, though he takes some damage in the process. Even so, he puts Black off balance for the first time in a PWA ring. It doesn't matter though, as Marxx lifts Black up for a suplex, Black flips over, lands on his feet, then springs forward and nails Marxx with the Branch of Sins.

Winner: Thomas Manchester Black

The Six Million Dollar Monkey


[The scene opens in the NAP locker room, where Panzadise, Tony Danza, and Monkey McDee are hanging out and shooting the shit about Summer Sizzler...]

McDee: “Do you guys think Jethro is still buried under all those soda kegs?”

Panzadise: “It’s tough to say, but in all likelihood, he has probably eaten his way out by now. The real question goes to Tony. What in the hell were you and Carlos doing driving around in that forklift?”

Danza: “Trying to pick up chicks.”

[Dise squints his eyes and scratches his head.]

Panzadise: “Did I hear that right? You were trying to pick up chicks? You were driving around in a forklift at Summer Sizzler with Carlos Baerga in shotgun, and you thought you were going to pick up chicks?”

[McDee ponders Danza’s motives, but then decides to help his case...]

McDee: “Well, they say chicks dig scars. And Tony and Carlos did get some battle wounds trying to get that Nintendo into the cage.”

[Dise isn’t buying it.]

McDee: “Now me on the other hand, I don’t need scars to get chicks. [McDee tousles his hair a bit and smiles.] I’m the Bestest of the Best...I’m Monkey McDee. Not to mention, I kinda spent the last couple years with amnesia, so I’ve been playing the whole sympathy card a lot lately.”

[Even Dise seems a bit disturbed by McDee’s admission. Just then, JoJo the Six Million Dollar Monkey hops into the scene and climbs up onto McDee’s shoulder. He does a little dance and claps his hands, which entertains the Panzies.]

Panzadise: “Now this guy has to be helping you get laid!”

[Danza brings his face close to JoJo’s and talks to him...]

Danza: “What else can you do, little guy?”

McDee: “Well, there’s always this...”

[The camera zooms in on JoJo, and suddenly switches to what’s an obvious computer animated still of JoJo doing McDee’s patented “Double M” sign with his little monkey hands. The scene then switches back to real time, and Danza seems blown away.]

Danza: “Alright, alright, that was pretty impressive. But can he do the NAP sign?”

McDee: “That one is a little more complicated, but we’ve been working on it...”

[McDee is struggling with JoJo’s hands, trying to help him make the NAP sign, when suddenly someone barges into the locker room. It’s President Rob Robinson. Once he sees what the Panzies are doing with JoJo, he shakes his head in disgust.]

Robinson: “Are you guys serious?”

[The Panzies seem confused by Robinson.]

Robinson: “You’re doing it all wrong.”

[Robinson walks over to JoJo, and the Six Million Dollar Monkey quickly sticks out his little paw and shakes hands with the PWA President. Robinson then works with JoJo for a second, and we are then treated to another computer animated still of JoJo, this time holding up a perfect little NAP sign with his hand. The scene then switches back to live action.]

Robinson: “Anything else I can help you guys with?”

Dise: “We were just about to play some Tecmo Super Bowl. You interested?”

[Robinson removes his suit coat and rolls up his sleeves.]

Robinson: “Set up the brackets, Tony, I’m about to make the “A” button my bitch!”

[The Panzies gather around the TV as the scene comes to an end...]

Emily Corlen vs Hiro Takawa vs Lucious Starr

Triple Threat Match


An exciting match between three of the most exciting PWA wrestlers. Lots of exciting stuff goes on, but the end comes when Hiro has been thrown out of the ring and Emily Corlen-Maverick secures the Faith Breaker on Lucious Starr and he taps out.

Winner: Emily Corlen-Maverick

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires


[President Robinson's office again. There are now several empty bottle of Yoohoo Select on the desk as the PWA's owner wallows in self-pity. Another knock and once again Fantastic Andy Strickland enters to bring our glorious leader back to a sad, sad reality.]

Fantastic Andy: Ok, Rob, here's the paperwork. Just sign it and I can start the ball rolling.

President Robinson: What paperwork? I've got no idea what you're talking about.

Fantastic Andy: Remember earlier tonight when I told you there was only one way to keep the PWA open past Manitoba Mayhem?

President Robinson: That was you? Are you sure? I thought that was Smokey the Bear.

Fantastic Andy: I... Wait. Why would Smokey the Bear be talking to you?

President Robinson: Because he knows.

Fantastic Andy: He knows about business?

President Robinson: No.

Fantastic Andy: Then what? He's a secret wrestling expert?

President Robinson: No.

Fantastic Andy: Wow, I'm really torn here. I don't want to know, yet I must. Just tell me, what the hell does he know?

President Robinson: About that forest fire I started.

Fantastic Andy: I'm pretty sure that didn't happen.

President Robinson: Yeah? Well, I'm pretty sure it did!

Fantastic Andy: Rob, I've known you a lot of years and I've never once known you to set foot in a forest.

President Robinson: Oh, it happened. All the animals died. Except for a little deer. And his little rabbit buddy. Maybe some others, I dunno.

Fantastic Andy: I'm pretty sure that was Bambi.

President Robinson: Oh god! I nearly killed your animal friend!

Fantastic Andy: No, that was a... Look, just forget it. Just sign the paperwork for me.

President Robinson: What's the paperwork for?

Fantastic Andy: To sell part of the company?

[This instantly sobers up Robinson.]

President Robinson: What? Why the bloody hell would I do that?

Fantastic Andy: Because you'll be out of business in less than a month if you don't.

President Robinson: But I just got the PWA back! I can't sell it now!

Fantastic Andy: Yeah, you just got it back and you've already run it into the ground. Granted, it was already well on its way. Plus, you're only selling part of it. You'll still be in charge. Kind of.

President Robinson: There's gotta be another way.

Fantastic Andy: There really isn't.

President Robinson: You're sure?

Fantastic Andy: I'm sure this is the only way you'll stay open long enough to make it to Manitoba. Beyond that...

President Robinson: (sighs) Fine.

[Robinson scribbles his signature on the papers. Andy collects them all and leaves. As the office door closes, Robinson turns to his ice chest full of Yoohoo Select. He picks up a bottle, looks at it for a long time, then puts it back on ice, unopened. Then he lowers his head to his desk. We may hear some sniffling and light sobbing as the camera fades to black.]

Matt Stone LTD vs The New Age Panzies

Main Event - Tag Match


Another exciting tag team match, the sort of tag match the PWA has become known for of late. Everybody looks good, even Tyson Cowell, and no team gains a clear advantage. 30 minutes in, all four men are exhausted but not enough to lay on their backs for three seconds. At this point, the villainous Marxx runs down the ramp and tries to steal Matt Stone's Intercontinental title belt. Stone sees this and leaps off the apron to get it back. The two men fight around the announce table.

In the ring, Tyson realizes he's alone when he tries to make a tag and no one is home. The Panzies see their opening. As Tyson turns around from his failed tag attempt, Panzadise kicks him in the stomach and then hits him with a sitout powerbomb. At that moment, Monkey McDee comes off the ropes with an springboard moonsault for the pin.

As the bell rings, Stone's head snaps around, allowing Marxx to shove him and run off with the title belt.

Winners: The New Age Panzies

[After the bell rings, Matt Stone helps Cowell to his feet and out of the ring. Meanwhile, Dise calls for a few mics and hands one to McDee.]

Panzadise: “Hey, hold one there Stone. We’re not done with you yet.”

[Matt Stone turns around and raises his fists in a defensive stance, shouting that he’s ready and to bring it on.]

McDee: “No, no. You misunderstand. We want to thank you. You see, this match, my first match back as part of the NAP was a pivotal. It proved to Dise, and more importantly to me, that I made the right decision in coming back to the PWA.”

[Stone relaxes a bit and rolls his eyes. He’s in no mood to be made fun of.]

McDee: “It was also our first chance to test our new tag team move, which as you’ve seen tonight, is quite devastating. We’ve been practicing it for weeks but the problem was, we just couldn’t think of a good name for it. So to mark this occasion, and in appreciation of your contribution tonight…”

Panzadise: “Yeah, of losing…”

McDee: “Now, now…no need to nasty, Dise.

[Despite his words, McDee is still smiling ear-to-ear.]

McDee: “As I was saying, we’re grateful for your role tonight…”

Panzadise (muttering): “Of being a loser…”

McDee: “and in honor of that, we’d like to name our new finisher after you.”

[Stone is now glaring at them. His jaw is clenched.]

Jon McDaniel: “Now they’re just rubbing this match in Matt Stone’s face.”

Brian Rentfro: “I know. Isn’t it great?”

Jon McDaniel: “I don’t know about that. It’s never a smart decision to patronize a man like Stone.”

Brian Rentfro: “Pff. You worry too much.”

[Back in the ring, McDee and Panzadise are really milking it. They have both struck thoughtful poses.]

McDee: “What shall we call it? Stepping Stone?

Panzadise (pausing): “Nah. Too cliché. How about Sticks and Stone?

McDee: “And you call mine cliché? How about…”

Panzadise: “…Stone’s Throw?

McDee: You’re enjoying this way too much. Maybe you should…that’s it! Sit Down…”

Panzadise (finishing McDee’s thought): “…Shut Up! That’s great! Hey, Stone…what do you think?”

McDee and Panzadise (shouting in unison): “Sit Down, Shut Up!”

[Both men drops their mics and begin celebrating, laughing, and flashing the NAP sign to the fans.

Matt Stone, on the other hand, is not amused. He starts to lurch towards the ring but Cowell grabs his arm and shakes his head. He whispers something into Stone’s ear and Stone nods. He turns to help Cowell back up the ramp. Taking one last look at the ring, he spits on floor and disappears backstage.]

You Know You're Right


The lights go out. The crowd has an initial roar of excitement. The lights stay off. Then the soft sound of guitar strings begin. Its hard to to make out the song.

Then the line "I will never bother you" is softly sung.

The crowd erupts

Nirvana's "You know You're Right" plays.

No one is on stage. Then the screaming of word "Paiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn" is heard

He walks through the curtain. His long brown hair seems a bit greasy, he has his two day stubble and aviator sunglasses. Wearing a vintage 'Al' t-shirt and dark blue skinny jeans. He gets into the ring as the song ends.

Standing in the middle of the ring he can't talk as the cheering from the crowd is deafening. He actually appears to be taken back by the reaction and his first sounds are scratchy and remorseful

Showtime: Ummm hi.

(The crowd again is cheering, chanting his name. He tries to get them to quiet down.)

Showtime: Shhhhhh

(The chants finally die down. He takes a second to compose himself, and decides to go sit on top of one of the turnbuckles.)

Showtime: So I never thought I'd be back here. (his voice very somber and not over the top)

(Another loud pop)

Showtime: I had some unfinished business to take care of here. I had two choices where I could do this from my house and be fucking melodramatic or I could show up here and face my demon.

A lot has been made about my personal life, and the choices I've made.

(He takes a deep breath and seems somewhat emotional)

Showtime: And I just want everyone to know that I'm sor.....

(He gets cut off by the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage")

President Robinson: These people here don't want to hear your fucking sob story Ambrose.

(The crowd boos)

President Robinson: But for some stupid ass reason though, they want to see you in DVD's and your old matches streaming on our website.

(This gets a bit of a positive response)

Showtime: Clever use of words there. What I think you should have said is this "I'm too broke to pay you the royalties that are owed to you" Also I assume that piece of paper in your hand is the contract that severely reduces the amount of money you pay me to use my likeness, name, and matches right?

(He actually seems happy for the first time in a long while)

President Robinson: (changing his voice to use another tactic) Marcus, listen... You love these people don't you. Don't you want them to see you when you were great?

(This line gets a nice steady boos from the crowd)

President Robinson: Just sign this so that can happen. You have a kid, this will pay for her college. Its win win. If you don't then we won't use your matches and you won't get paid.

Showtime: You're right. I do want what is best for these people.

(He stops talking as the chants of "One More Match" begin to get louder. Still on the top rope he points his arm out with the microphone to show Robinson what the people want.)

Showtime: I think they are right. One more match does sound good.

President Robinson: You're not cleared to wrestle, you know what the doctors said.

Showtime: I know what YOUR doctors told me. Don't worry I will produce the note that states that I'm fine.

So how about we do this. You take that piece of paper, burn it. You get a new piece of paper and on this piece of paper you have the following words.

Manitoba Mayhem. Showtime versus The Phoenix. Stipulation, Phoenix wins, I sign what was on that initial piece of paper. I win I don't sign, but you still produce all those DVD's and all my matches streaming on the internet. Now I know you can't afford to pay me, but I'm a man of understanding, plus I like this idea better.

Stock in the PWA.

President Robinson: That's what you want? A washed up hack like Showtime wants to take his chances against the greatest wrestler in the AOWF today? (Robinson laughs) Yeah, I'm all over that idea.

(The crowd cheers like crazy.)

President Robinson: Just one little thing, though, old buddy. Before I make this match, it is only ethical to make you pass a drug test first. That won't be a problem, will it?

(INSERT ROBINSON'S RESPONSE and at the end make sure he says before Showtime can wrestler he has to pass a drug test)

(Robinson grins like he's channeling Mark Sommers as "Sabotage" starts to play again and he starts to leave)

As Robinson turns away to the leave the ring Marcus cuts him off.

Showtime: By the way Robinson, I do think you told me you would smack the "taste out of my mouth" If I showed up here tonight. So don't be a chicken shit and forget to do that.

Robinson turns and angrily walks over to Showtime who is still sitting on the turnbuckle. As he approaches and reaches his hand back to punch, Showtime delivers a left foot kick to the side of Robinson's head dropping Robinson to the mat. Showtime leaps down from the turnbuckle and leaves the ring as Nirvana "You know You're Right" plays.

As he gets to the top of the ramp his music stops and Robinson his back on the mic holding the side of his head.

President Robinson: Do you think kicking me in the head proves anything? You think that shows you can hang in the PWA? Not a chance. But I'm willing to give you a chance to prove it for real. Next week, you're going to face three of the PWA's best in a handicap match. Vicious Vic Wagner, Marxx, and Emily Corlen. Or Emily Maverick. Whatever her name is this week. You don't have to win, but you do have to compete. Oh, and since you're so ready to get into action and you're a PWA Hall of Famer and all, you won't mind that this is a Tornado match, so all four of you will be in the ring at the same time.

("Sabotage" starts to play again as the show fades to black.)