Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


03-06-2011


Intro


As Rampage opens, the cameras immediately pan down to the stage as the fans erupt to the sounds of ‘Come with Me’. Chamelion comes hobbling out onto the stage on his crutches and a mic in his left hand. He looks around, smirking.

Chamelion: Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s been a long, long time… but I can finally say this…

Pause and Chamelion slowly draws out his breath with the next statement.

Chamelion: Finally, the PWA has come BACK to Raaammmmpage!

The crowd bursts into cheers.

Chamelion: That’s right! No more Chaos.. in name only. No more Simon Kalis!

Mixture of cheers and boos.

Chamelion: Yeah, yeah, I know… he brought ratings, but he also brought me a headache. Simon’s gone, and the events of the last six months are wiped clean. Last week, Teresa Quaranta surrendered the PWA World title and moved to Victory wrestling.

The boos are louder this time.

Chamelion: Leaving free for me to offer up the title to the winner of the Who’s The Man!? Tournament. Despite what the critics may have to say about this, the lure of the gold has heated up the roster, and each man who’s in the tournament, and the four here tonight bidding for the last two remaining spots, all are chomping at the bit to rise to the top, and claim the fame of being PWA champion!

He grins.

Chamelion: And this could not have come at a better time. Our roster is smaller, trimmed of excess fat and only holding onto prime championship material… and Mark Zout. So, let’s get the show on the road, as they say, and come one step closer to finding out who the 2011 Franchise of the PWA will be. GOT IT!?

Come with Me strikes up and Chamelion heads backstage as the camera pans down to ringside and our announcers, Jon McDaniel and Brian Rentfro.

Jon McDaniel: Welcome to Rampage, everyone! As our esteemed boss just said, tonight is a major night for our superstars.

Brian Rentfro: Ash Nukem, Matt Stone, Johnny Maverick and believe it or not, NIGHTMARE! Two of these four men will advance into the tournament. The other two, despites their efforts, will have to settle with whatever consolation prize Mark Sommers may have in store for them.

Jon McDaniel: And from what we know of Mark, he always adds in something down the line, so everyone can go for the brass ring. But to be Franchise and World champion means beating everyone in your path, and for those four men, the path begins when two get into the tournament, and two go home. Let’s get to the ring with our first contest of the evening!

Trent Sunderland vs Dos Caras

Singles Match


The bell rings as Sunderland and Dos lock up in the middle of the ring.. Sunderland then forces Dos down into a headlock but Dos powers out and shoves Sunderland to the ropes. Sunderland then bounces off the ropes as Dos lowers his head to deliver a back drop but Sunderland stops and nails Dos with a DDT down to the mat. Sunderland then covers Dos.

1

2

Kickout.

Sunderland picks up Dos and scoop slams him down to the mat in front of the corner. Sunderland then jumps up onto the top rope and moonsaults himself on top of Dos and covers.

1

2

kickout!

Sunderland is now starting to get frustrated because he cannot keep Dos down. Sunderland then picks Dos up and whips him into the ropes. Sunderland then goes for a clothesline but Dos ducks it and runs into the ropes and rebounds to nail Sunderland with a cross body into a cover.

1

2



Shoulder up!

Dos then starts stomping Sunderland on the mat but Sunderland then grabs Dos ’s leg and trips him up. Sunderland jumps up and tries for a figure four leg lock, but Dos reaches up, grabs Sunderland by the head and rolls him up as the ref counts.

1

2



kickout!

Sunderland pounds his fists on the canvas, and jumps up, only to get a drop kick from Dos to send him back down! Dos then goes to the apron and climbs up onto the top rope as Sunderland gets back up. Dos then goes for a flying cross body on Sunderland but Sunderland catches him in mid air and brings him down with a painful back breaker. He then covers fast.

1

2



Shoulder up!!

Sunderland shakes his head, frustrated and pulls Dos to his feet. Dos breaks out of Sunderland’s grasp and kicks him in the stomach. Dos then delivers the Future-plex out of no where and covers.

1

2

3!

Winner: Dos Caras.

Jimmy Henderson vs Cody Bogard

Singles Match


The bell rings and the two circle each other for a moment. Without warning Henderson is off, he spears Bogard, taking him down. He grabs Bogard's arm and pulls him into an arm bar. After a second Bogard leans over and punches Henderson dead in the face. He releases the arm bar and retreats to a turnbuckle holding his eye. Bogard is up and Henderson goes in for another spear. Bogard catches him this time and drops him into a DDT. Bogard picks Henderson up and Henderson hits him with a quick left jab, then he hits the ropes and comes back with a hurricanrana. He goes for the pin.

1

2

Kick out.

Henderson grabs Bogard by the hair and lifts him up. He whips him into the corner. He stands on the second rope and starts pummeling Bogard's head. The two counter each other, standing on the turnbuckle, but Henderson gets a swift punch in, and is able to hook Bogard up and sends him crashing down with a superplex, causing Bogard to bounce and roll to his stomach! Standing quickly, Henderson follows through with a leg drop on the back of his head then rolls him over and goes for the pin.

1

2



Kick out!

Henderson, obviously mad, picks him up and whips him into the corner again and follows him in. Bogard hits the corner and turns around with a stiff boot to Henderson's jaw. He nails Henderson with a couple right hands, then whips him into the opposite corner, but Henderson reverses it. He follows him in and jumps onto his shoulders, going for a hurricanrana out of the corner. Bogard counters with a high-angle powerbomb, and goes for the pin.

1

2



Kickout!!


Both men lay there as the referee counts to almost eight before they stumble to their feet. Both begin exchanging hard lefts and rights! Henderson gets the advantage, and throws Bogard into the corner! He then charges in and delivers a stiff knee to Bogard’s head! He backs up, focused as Bogard stumbles out of the corner, and then goes for a hard round house kick to the back of the head! However, Bogard ducks and as Henderson swings around, Bogard grabs his legs, pulls them out from under Henderson and as Henderson lands hard on the canvas, Bogard holds his legs and flips over into a pinning combination!

1

2

3!!!



Winner: Cody Bogard

Bad Dreams Await


The scene cuts backstage where Lean Bean Miller is seen attempting to catch the PWA superstars before their matches this evening. Lean Bean manages to catch the attention of "Nightmare: Jonathon Wehali. Nightmare is wearing a pair of acid washed jeans and a Mastodon Concert tee-shirt.

LBM: Nightmare, I want to wish you well in your qualifying match for the Who's The Man tournament tonight. Do you have any words for your opponent, Johnny Maverick?

Jonathon smiles and nods confirmation.

Nightmare: Thank you, Lean Bean, and yes I do.

He looks directly into the camera lens as if into the eyes of his audience.

Nightmare: Johnny, do you not understand just what you have gotten yourself into? In my decade of active competition my loss record in singles matches has not exceeded the single digits. The group of people who have managed to beat me temporarily ~ and I DO stress Temporarily ~ is a very elite one to which you are not qualified, and never will be, to join.

His smile mocks you but you realize the only thing you can do is accept the truth of his words.

Nightmare: I have defeated Champions, Legends, and veritable wrestling gods, I have retired too many opponents for you to be able to count.

His could steely gaze burns directly into your soul.

Nightmare: I have even killed a man in that ring. If you meet me for this match this evening I will not be held accountable for my actions so take my advise and not even show.

He pauses to allow the gravity of his words to sink in.

Nightmare: After all, no one will think any less of you for No-Showing. Discretion IS the better part of valor.

Jon stops thoughtfully.

Nightmare: Well, actually, they will but it will save you a trip to the hospital, a destination where I have sent many of my adversaries . . . Don't say I didn't warn you.

A stagehand motions for Jonathon to take his place in the gorilla position. Jon nods in confirmation.

Nightmare: Well, LB, I need to take my leave.

Jonathon flashes his trademark charismatic smile and takes his leave. Well there you have it, Fans, Ominous words from Nightmare to Johnny Maverick. Will the Sadistic Sex Symbol heed them? Will Jonathon Wehali make good on his word? Stay tuned and find out for that match is coming up next!

Nightmare vs Johnny Maverick

Who's The Man!? Qualifier


Eric Emerson: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and will determine one of the participants of the Who’s The Man!? Tournament! Introducing first, from Washington, D.C., weighing in at 200lbs, he is Johnny Maverick!

'I'll fuck yo ass up.
I'll fuck yo ass up. (Fuck 'em up son)
I'll fuck yo ass up. (Wu For Life)
I'll fuck yo ass up (Fuck em up!)
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Yo, I FUCK yo' ass up!'

Johnny springs from behind the curtain. He raises two defiant middle fingers as two blasts of red pyro burst behind him and he releases a savage roar.

'HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT!
S.O.A.D., live and uncut!
Styles unbreakable, shatterproof
To the young youth, ya wanna get gun? Shoot!
BLAOW! How you like me now? Don't fuck the style
Ruthless wild!
Do ya wanna getcha teeth knocked the FUCK out?
Wanna get on it like that, well then shout!'

Johnny runs down the ramp and slides under the bottom rope, standing quickly.

'Lasers and blazers
Hit me with the major
The damage, my Clan understand it be flavor
Gunnin, hummin comin atcha
First I'm gonna getcha, once I gotcha, I gat-cha
You could never capture the Method Man's stature
For rhyme and for rapture, got niggaz resigning, now master
my style? Never! I put the fucking buck in the wild kid
Let's get together'

Johnny releases another roar before he heads over to a corner. He sits atop the top turnbuckle casually and awaits Nightmare’s arrival.

Eric Emerson: Introducing now, making his long awaited return to the PWA after nearly three years... standing at 6'9" and weighting in at 280 pounds...

A pulsing beat hits the air as "The Great American Nightmare" by Rob Zombie begins to play as a group of ravishingly beautiful women in hot pants and cropped halter tops rise from the smoke, moving in a sensuous provocative manner to the music. The arena lights begin to strobe in synchronicity to the music as the opening guitar riff hits its crescendo, the huge monitors flashing in counterpoint.

~Dig deep down from Planet X, yeah~
~Thirteen ghosts in the devil's head~
~Step right up and feel the fire~
~Hardcore love of the never dead~

Eric Emerson: He hails from Los Angeles, California... he is Jonathon Wehali... he is...

Spotlights pan through the stadium, scanning through the air. Suddenly the entrance explodes with a spike of red pyros as the monitors begin showing highlights from Nightmare's previous matches. Icons and champions go down to his kicks and strikes. Superstars and legends tap out to his submission holds. One after another faces famous, infamous, and unknown are shown, each being driven into the canvas headfirst. The footage then burns away to a single word suspended in darkness: NIGHTMARE. It then shatters, the monitor going black.

~Call me the American nightmare~
~Call me the American dream~
~Call me your soul corrupted~
~Call me everything you need~

Eric Emerson: NIGHTMARE!!!

As a shower of red pyros rains down upon the stage, Nightmare steps through the entrance. Red war paint marks his face.

~Yeah, motherfucker~
~Yeah, who do you love~
~Yeah, motherfucker~
~Who do you love, yeah~

Nightmare scans the crowd like a general surveying his troops. His gaze then settles upon the ring. Making his way forward he slaps hands with the fans. Trailing behind Nightmare are his manager Akira and his bodyguard Dhamballa.

~Black boots stomp and penetrate, yeah~
~Lust and death gone in your head~
~Rat pack mind degenerated~
~Thirteen ghosts sing the body red~

Arriving at ringside, Nightmare selects a lovely young woman out of the crowd, placing his signature Gargoyle sunglasses upon her head then posing with the fans before turning to once again view the ring.

~Call me the dark intruder~
~Call me the haunted sea~
~Call me your Monster Zero~
~Call me anything you need~

Once at ringside Nightmare springs onto the ring apron, grabs the top rope, and flips over the top.

~Call me the American Nightmare~
~Call me the American dream~
~Call me your soul corrupted~
~Call me everything you need~

Nightmare walks to the center of the ring and pumps his fist into the air. The four corner posts of the ring erupt into an explosion of red pyros as the song fades out, the stage once again in darkness as the dancing girls return to the back.

~Yeah, motherfucker~
~Yeah, who do you love~
~Yeah, motherfucker~
~Who do you love, yeah~

Nightmare takes his place in his corner to await the beginning of the match as Akira and Dhamballa return to the backstage area.
Jon McDaniel: Finally, Nightmare returns to the ring!

Brian Rentfro: The last time we saw him, he defeated Hunter Sullivan at Good vs. Evil back in 2008! Sadly, personal issues took Nightmare away from us, and we started to wonder if the man would ever return.

Jon McDaniel: But now he’s back. But while he may be well rested, how much rust he has, could be a problem here.

DING! DING! DING!

Nightmare grabs a hold of the top rope and gives it a tug. Maverick begins to circle in and around. Nightmare and Maverick dive forward and lock arms. Nightmare pushes Maverick back into the ropes. As he steps backward he sends Maverick flying across the ring with an Irish whip. As Maverick comes off the ropes, Nightmare scoops his arm between Maverick's legs and slams him hard into the canvass. Quickly following up Nightmare drops a huge elbow across the neck of Maverick.

Jon McDaniel: The viciousness of Nightmare hasn’t changed!

Brian Rentfro: He’s aware of how important this match is, and isn’t going to take a slow pace at finishing off Maverick.

Nightmare rolls off of Maverick and then kneels above Maverick's face. Nightmare then begins to drive left and right shots to the temples of Maverick. Maverick instantly sends his hands up as shields to protect him from the assault. Nightmare ceases to continue as he gets to his feet. He reaches down and pulls Maverick up to his feet. Maverick finds himself being booted in the gut, Nightmare then hooks Maverick's arms and jumps up nailing Maverick with a side slam. Maverick's face ricochets off the canvass and Nightmare goes for a quick cover.

1

2

2 ½

Jon McDaniel: OUCH! Nightmare means to do more then win, he wants to hurt Maverick.

Brian Rentfro: Johnny’s never faced a man like Nightmare before, he will have to go to extremes to overcome the power of that man.

Maverick shoots his arm and shoulder upward after taking advantage of a two and a half second rest. Nightmare grabs Maverick and hoists him to his feet. Maverick instinctively sends two or three shots to Nightmare stomach. Nightmare staggers back and Maverick jumps to his feet attempting to make a comeback. Maverick runs backward into the ropes and uses them to propel himself forward, flying in connecting with a massive spinning back elbow. Nightmare just staggers for a moment as Maverick cannot believe Nightmare is still standing. Maverick bounces off the ropes again and this time dives forward with a series of vicious elbows, forearms and fists that connect ferociously with several parts of Nightmare’ body and face. Maverick wraps his leg in between Nightmare’ and then falls back onto the canvass, locking in a figure four leg lock.

Brian Rentfro: A submission attempt from Maverick.

Nightmare doesn't make a sound but instead tries to sit up and swing at Maverick. Maverick leans back and tightens the hold with a huge smile on his face. Again Nightmare leans forward through the pain and swipes at Maverick but is still a good three feet away from connecting to Maverick's face. The ref moves into position and asks Nightmare if he wishes to continue. Nightmare just shakes his head yes as he falls back onto the canvass.

1

2

Nightmare realises that his shoulders are planted firmly on the canvass and shoots upward breaking the count just a hair before the ref’s hand slaps the mat for the three. Maverick still smiling knows he nearly had a close fall on his opponent. Nightmare has red in his eyes as he begins to use his upper body strength and weight advantage to pull himself and Maverick towards the closest set of ropes.

Jon McDaniel: Look at the strength of Nightmare .

Brian Rentfro: Indeed. But you have to wonder how much more he can take. Nightmare has been gone nearly three years, and he’s coming back to fight for the greatest prize in the business without so much as a warm up match!

Nightmare manages to find the ropes and the ref calls for Maverick to break the hold, Maverick does so, cleanly. Nightmare reaches into the second rope and uses it for leverage as he attempts to gain his vertical base once again. Maverick has already gotten to his feet and is waiting for Nightmare to turn around. As Nightmare slowly turns around Maverick lunges in pump kicking and nailing Nightmare in the jaw with a roundhouse kick! Nightmare falls onto the canvas motionless. He hooks the leg. The ref who is once again in excellent position begins the count immediately.

1

2

Nightmare pushes Maverick violently away from his body and through the second and third rope to the outside. Maverick continues to roll until his body collides with the security rail. Nightmare shakes his head and then proceeds to sit upright. A sick demented look crosses his face as he turns his head to see Maverick on the outside. Nightmare tucks down and rolls under the bottom rope to the outside. The ref reaches over the top rope and begins a ten count. Nightmare stalks Maverick and pulls him up by the neck. Nightmare then grasps Maverick's wrist and proceeds to whip Maverick towards the stairs. Maverick stops quickly and uses the momentum to reverse and send Nightmare smashing hard into the steel steps. Grabbing Nightmare , he rolls his opponent into the ring and follows right behind. Hooking a leg, Maverick goes for a pin and The ref slides into position.

1

2

2 3/4th

NO! Nightmare gets his shoulder up at the last second.

Jon McDaniel: Close! Maverick’s giving him everything he has!

Brian Rentfro: And borrowing from the bank for more!

Maverick rolls off of Nightmare, the battle beginning to take its toll on both combatants. The ref begins to check on the two downed men. Maverick is the first to his feet. Maverick looks down at a fallen, beaten Nightmare. He reaches down instinctively grabbing a hand full of hair. He struggles to lift Nightmare to his feet. Maverick steps back and lunges forward with an almighty blow, Nightmare staggers back and Maverick unloads again. After the onslaught of fists, Maverick grabs Nightmare by the arm and whips him violently into the ropes. As Nightmare returns Maverick springs forward looking to decapitate Nightmare with a massive clothesline, instead Nightmare ducks under Mavericks attempt. As Maverick whirls around Nightmare meets Maverick with a huge boot to the midsection, immediately Maverick keels over, spitting on the canvass. Nightmare steps forward and in beautiful rhythm drops Maverick squarely onto his skull with an Evenflow DDT. Maverick crumbles like a ton of bricks and Nightmare stands back admiring his work. After a few moments of Nightmare just watching Maverick struggle on the ground, Nightmare picks Maverick up throws him blindly into the corner, where the referee just happens to be.

Jon McDaniel: Watch out!

Brian Rentfro: Too late! We have a downed referee!

Nightmare doesn’t hesitate after the error, and grabs Maverick and sends him diving through the second rope and crashing into the hard barricade between the fans and ringside. Maverick slowly uses the barricade as a rest stop and help to get him to his feet. by this time Nightmare is already stalking his prey, anticipating his next move and grabbing a chair from ringside, Nightmare slams the chair over Maverick and the Asshole now lays on the ground, unconscious. Nightmare drops the chair, about to pick Nightmare up when out of the crowd comes none other then Hunter Sullivan!

Jon McDaniel: Sullivan! It’s Sullivan!

Brian Rentfro: You can’t tell me that three years later that man still holds a grudge!?

Nightmare doesn’t notice the former PWA superstar, who has his own chair and parodies the earlier shot with one of his own to Nightmare’s skull. The impact drops Nightmare to his feet and Sullivan jumps over the barricade and reaches down and grabs camera cables. In a moment he's seen strangling the life out of Nightmare with the cords, Nightmare swings his arms violently, trying to get free. Nightmare' face begins to turn a pale shade of purple and Sullivan has a huge grin planted on his face. However, the grin soon fades as Nightmare connects with a series of elbows, the last one lifts Sullivan right onto the barricade and setting himself free. Sullivan appears to be dazed and Nightmare takes advantage of the situation. He grabs the steel chair and this time Hunter Sullivan tastes metal as he’s slammed backwards into the front row of fans!

Fans: PWA! PWA! PWA! PWA!

Nightmare growls and sees Maverick rising and realizes he has to turn his attention back to the match. Nightmare lunges at Maverick with the chair but Maverick sidesteps and connects with an elbow that sends the chair right back into Nightmare’s face. Blood begins to pour down Nightmare’s nose onto the mats outside the ring. Maverick grabs Nightmare and rolls him into the ring, throws the chair in and then slides in himself. Maverick grabs the referee, slapping him to wake him up. As the referee stirs, Maverick turns and stalks Nightmare and as he rises, Maverick comes forth and connects with the ABM! The impact along with concussion from the chair shot puts Nightmare out for the necessary time as the ref counts with difficulty.

1

2

3!

DING! DING! DING!

Eric Emerson: The winner of the match, advancing in the Who’s The Man? Tournament! JOHNNY MAVERICK!

Jon McDaniel: Give the assist to Hunter Sullivan!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, but like I said, the ring rust, the amount of time since he last cut a promo, looked into his opponents eyes and fought a hard earned match had to be the Achilles heel for Nightmare.

Maverick jumps up, elated at his victory and demands the referee raise his hand. As he’s celebrating, Nightmare pulls himself up, enraged. He spins Maverick around and nails Maverick with the “Heart of Darkness”. The ref tries to stop Nightmare, but he swoops up the steel chair that Maverick tossed in the ring and he drives Maverick into it with the broken arrow. Snapping the mic away from Eric Emerson, Nightmare hisses down at Maverick.

Nightmare: "I warned you!"

Jon McDaniel: He did do that.

Brian Rentfro: But the warning came too late.

Nightmare then turns, eyes ablaze out at the crowd where Hunter Sullivan was, and he slides out of the ring, jumps the barricade and goes in search of the man who cost him a grand opportunity!

Jon McDaniel: I don’t know what’s next for Nightmare. This was not the return he expected.

Brian Rentfro: No, but he doesn’t stop, that’s one thing to remember about Nightmare… he may not become ‘The Franchise’ or PWA Champion in a month’s time, but those who hold the gold now have not only to fear their waking hours, but their nightmares as well.

Jon McDaniel: Nice pun, let’s move on before you make more!

Matt Stone vs Ash Nukem

Who's The Man!? Qualifier


Crazy Frog cover of Beverly Hills Cop theme hits over the sound systems and the crowd cheers as Ash Nukem comes running out to the ring. He slaps some hands of some fans as he slides in, raising his half of the PWA Tag Team titles in the air to their cheers.

Jon McDaniel: Interesting choice of entrance music if I may say so.

Brian Rentfro: Ash Nukem is pale, scrawny and nerdy.

Jon McDaniel: Uhm...

Brian Rentfro: Am I wrong?

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I'm so whoa


Matt Stone comes out from the back to a chorus of boos. He struts down the ramp towards the ring, wearing his patterned hoodie with a large Maple Leaf on the back. He threatens to hit a member of the crowd who was holding up a "Canada sucks" sign and just walks on.


Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I'm so whoa


Matt gets on the apron and gets inside the ring, heading straight to a corner and mounts the middle turnbuckle raising his hands. "I'm the best there is!" He shouts out over the loud jeers being rained down on him. He shakes his head to their reaction. "You don't deserve to see me!" He shouts out getting down and taking off the hoodie. Matt get's ready for his opponent, bouncing off the ropes to loosen up as his music fades away

DING DING DING

Ash moves in for an immediate strike, a flying lariat as he goes towards Stone hard. He gets Matt Stone in the face cleanly, but Matt shrugs it off more than anything. Ash is on his feet and rushes towards Stone but Stone throws a knee out and both their knees hit like a move straight ouf Sean Avery's playbook and Ash flips over, hitting the canvas hard. Matt Stone picks Ash by the neck and hip tosses him to the canvas before following it up with a well placed elbow drop to Ash's throat.

Matt Stone: This isn't a video game Ash. You can't use a quarter to continue after I beat you!

Brian Rentfro: Hahahahaha what? Did you hear that?

Jon McDaniel: I think Stone is wearing some sort of small microphone attached to his Anti-Duff shirt.

Ash rolls away and gets to his feet. Stone charges forward with a clothesline, sending Ash to his feet. From the canvas Ash kicks Stone in the gut, then in the knee and pushes himself up. Ash grabs Stone's head and drops back with a DDT, smashing his head against the canvas. Ash rolls over onto Stone and mounts him and starts beating down on him like Ash is Niko and Matt Stone is Ivan. Stone covers his face from the barrage of fists before throwing an elbow out to knock Ash straight across the mouth and send him down to the canvas. Stone gets to his feet and picks Ash up by his lovely red hair and whips him into the ropes like Master Chief whips plasma grenades at grunts, and as Ash comes back Stone grapples him and slams him hard to the canvas with a Blizzard Suplex that electrifies the crowd like Pikachu would! It's at this point Stone scoffs at a fan who holds up a sign that says "ROFLS DUFF WHAT?"

Matt Stone: What's wrong Ash? No Mako in that blood of yours you god damn nerd?

Brian Rentfro: Hahahaha. Mako! Get it? It's from Final Fantasy 7.

Jon McDaniel: Yeah we got it, Brian...

As Stone picks Ash back up Ash knees Stone in the gut, whips him into the ropes and chases after him landing a wicked body splash nipple to nipples and all. Both men go down and Ash quickly hooks the legs!

1!

2!

KICK OUT!

Jon McDaniel: Near fall there.

Brian Rentfro: I don't think Ash takes kindly to all the poopoo talk from Stone during this match. Wonder if he knows everyone at home can hear Matt chime off to?

Stone is up and Ash charges him! But instead of using a mastercard to pay, Stone shows Ash the only thing accepted everywhere is a quick counter with a reverse facelock backbreaker crunching Nukem to the canvas like a Snorlax on caterpie. Ash rolls away and gets to his feet gingerly. He rushes Stone and goes for a clothesline which he side steps. Ash leaps backwards, putting his elbow out and cracks Stone over the head. Stone gets back to his feet angirly as Ash spins around to hit a roundhouse kick to Stone's beautifully awesome face. Stone takes the hit like a super mutant takes a fat man mini nuke to the face and lands on the canvas hard. Stone crawls away scoffing at Ash as Ash bounces off the ropes. Stone begins pulling himself up with the ropes but Ash lands on his upper back/neck with both knees and Stone's hands slip, his neck wrings off the bottom ropes and he falls over holding his throat. Nukem is on his feet and pumps his fist for the crowd, who cheer him on.

Matt Stone: At least I can get laid.

Brian Rentfro: Owwww low blow!

Jon McDaniel: Does he get DQ'd for that?

Ash smirks as he lifts Stone by his neck and knees him in the face for good measure. Stone quickly reverses himself out of this situation by locking up Ash into a hammerlock. He pulls and pulls on the hold as Ash shakes around in the ring. Stone throws Ash across the ring like a ragdoll, but this isn't Aerosmith. Stone quickly follows it up by lifting Ash up off the canvas and hitting a northern lights suplex. He hooks the legs!

1!

2!!

TH-KICK OUT! STONE USES PINFALL! IT'S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE!

Matt Stone: Call me the Reaper to your Shepard, Ash.

Stone picks Ash back up and cracks him out with a spinning neckbreaker! Stone hooks the legs again!

1!

Jon McDaniel: Stone realizes that the Reaper Sovereign lost in the end, right?

2!!

Brian Rentfro: Shut up, Jon. Semantics man, semantics!

KICK OUT!

Stone gets to his feet flustered as he argues with referee Scott Swindell. Ash quickly grabs Stone by his pants and rolls him up into a school boy!!!

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT!

Ash quickly back on his feet and hits a soccer kick right into Stone's head. Stone grabs Ash's foot as he goes for another and one and trips him up, quickly locking Ash into a sharpshooter! Ash shakes his head vehemently as he yells he'll never quit! Did the Ash from Pokemon quit when his Pikachu couldn't beat Lt. Surge's Raichu?! NO! Stone rolls his eyes and puts more weight and pressure into the hold. Did Shepard quit even though Sovereign was merking the Citadel and Destiny Ascension?! NO! Ash refuses to tap! Stone yells as he lifts Ash's knee and pulls back hard, applying tremendous pressure now. Swindell asks Ash if he'll quit now. Did Mario quit when he went into the castle and was told Princess Peach was in a different castle?! NO!

Matt Stone: Did Zack quit when the Shin'ra soldiers came to kill him?! YES HE DID! So just tap out already Ash! Stop being such an asshole!

Brian Rentfro: Clearly, Stone did his research for this match.

Jon McDaniel: Yea.. Wait what? What kind of research? Quirky video game references to insult Ash with?

Brian Rentfro: Totally. Ash is just being a real ASSHOLE right now!

Finally Stone lets go of the hold and Ash rolls away in pain, holding his legs and rubbing his lower back. Stone pulls Ash towards the ropes and drops down for a cover!

1!

2!!

ROPE BREAK! ASH USES PUT FOOT ON ROPE! ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE!

Stone slams his fist into the canvas and covers again!

1!

2!!

THR-KICK OUT!

Swindell shakes his head and holds up the two. Stone covers again!

1!

Stone quickly pushes himself harder onto Ash, and places both his feet against the bottom rope!

2!!

Swindell doesn't notice as Ash tries to kick out again but can't with all of Stone's weight on him!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Stone gets off Ash quickly and pulls his arm away from referee Scott Swindell who tries to raise his hand, raising it himself. Stone rolls out of the ring and quickly heads back up the ramp smiling.

Jon McDaniel: God damn it! Stone STOLE this from Ash!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah he stole the match like Cloud stole Zack's identity in Final Fan-

Jon McDaniel: Ughhhh enough. Ash should be livid right now!

Ash looks up and can't believe Stone's audacity.

Matt Stone: What can I say? I'm an asshole too!

Stone laughs as he heads backstage and Ash shakes his head in the ring.

The Brackets Are Set




1 Matthew Engel
2 Johnny Maverick

3 Dos Caras
4 Lucious Starr

5 Jethro Hayes
6 Matt Stone

7 Cody Bogard
8 Marxx


Voice: The eight elite. Who is destined to be the Franchise? Destined to be PWA World Champion? Destined to be 'The Man!?" Next week, these eight superstars begin their journey. Four will advance, four will fall. One, will claim it all.



Who's The Man!? Quarter Finals - March 13th, 2011



Fade out

No Questions Asked


We go backstage as we see Jethro Hayes and Matthew Engel hanging out and talking. The camera crew tries to get closer and get into their conversation without really distracting them too much. Kind of like being at a zoo, isn't it? We're just here for your entertainment.

Jethro Hayes: "All I'm saying is that the Brewers are relying on a new ace pitcher that has a social anxiety disorder. Really he's only had that one superb year when he got the Cy Young award."

Matthew Engel: "Yeah but you're failing to miss my point here; he's still got untapped potential and a long career ahead of him. He wasn't getting anywhere in Kansas City."

Jethro Hayes: "You better hope so. The pitching rotation in Milwaukee has improved, but I don't see them contending for the division title. Maybe a wild card spot."

Matthew Engel: "You're such a debbie downer, Hayes. Can't you be a little happy for me that the Brewers have a better chance to get back to the playoffs this year?"

Jethro Hayes: "I suppose. As long as my Braves do well, your Brewers can do whatever the hell they want."

Matthew Engel: "I've always liked Chipper Jones. You know that the Braves will be in Milwaukee for opening day, right?"

Hayes finally looks toward the camera, and so does Matthew.

Jethro Hayes: "Yeah I know. We'll have to go to one of those games. Should we start acting like we hate each other?"

Matthew Engel: "I don't know. I mean, Rob is so fixated on us having sex and being gay lovers. I'd really hate to disappoint him, but we're going to have to because that's just not how we roll."

Jethro Hayes: "Rob's got some sick fantasies, I'll tell you that. I'm sure he dreams about us and Yoohoo."

Matthew Engel: "In Rob's defense - Yoohoo is pretty damn tasty."

Jethro Hayes: "We don't get much Yoohoo in Lenox."

Matthew Engel: "That's a shame."

Engel and Hayes move toward the camera crew a bit.

Matthew Engel: "I guess we should talk about our match tonight shouldn't we?"

Jethro Hayes: "What's there to talk about? We got two masked warriors going against the best tag team the PWA has ever seen."

Matthew Engel: "Yeah - we don't play any cloak and dagger shit. We are who we are."

Engel turns toward the camera.

Matthew Engel: "This week, Rob Robinson really didn't have much to say. He admitted to me being right a few times, urged us that he was changing his ways and he wants to enjoy the little things again, and then made remarks about his desire to view homosexual activity. That's not much at all. I don't care about Rob says, he doesn't care about this match. He's a TV Champion, he's making his way back to the top, and that's all fine and dandy. Whether he wins or loses this match - it won't make a single difference in his path back to the World Championship."

Jethro Hayes: "But that's where guys like me and Matt here differ. We don't believe that, because we believe every week in the ring is as important as the last. Whether we're fighting two masked guys that have no idea what they're doing, or we're fighting The Order of Chaos, we bring the absolute best and we bring out the absolute best in our opponents. That's why Matt and I here are Second 2 None, and we represent the upper echelon of this business."

Matthew Engel: "Even Rob admitted to not getting the respect he deserves. He's already put himself below us in that aspect, because we get the respect we deserve - and then some. See guys like The Phoenix and The Redeemer, they're not reliable in the sense that they'll show up every week and give it 150%. Now, you put Rob against someone for a title, or at Genesis? He shows up, and he does it just as good as anyone. But don't fear, ladies and gentlemen. You're going to get the same average Rob Robinson this week. You're going to see a Duff Cote d'iVoire in a mask, trying to release his anger on me and Jethro, only to have an epic fail and get pinned for a third time in less than a week."

Jethro Hayes: "Really? Three times?"

Matthew Engel: "Well - I pinned him last Monday. He got pinned by the Agenda. And now he's going to get pinned by you, or me. Three times."

Jethro Hayes: "That's sad. Maybe we should have a moment of silence for the slippery downfall of The Redeemer...or Duff...or whatever he wants to be called...his career."

Engel and Hayes bow their heads for a moment.

Matthew Engel: "Fuck that. He's still an Intercontinental Champion. He's still got life in him. But, he made some interesting threats this week. He thinks I assume we're all cool and buddy-buddy because I let him break my nose and give me a concussion. That's a shame, because I know we'll never be 'cool', Duff. I don't want that, in fact. I just wanted to give you an opportunity to make your life a little easier, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. You're getting a free pass from what you did last week, because I assure you if I wanted to? You wouldn't have been able to walk down to that ring tonight."

Jethro Hayes: "Duff's a lucky man."

Matthew Engel: "Yes he is, and he's lucky that the one thing that will be severely destroyed this week is his pride as he loses to me again."

Jethro Hayes: "I say we bribe Rob to leave the ring with a case of Yoohoo, and we just give Duff the beat down he deserves."

Matthew Engel: "It sounds tempting. But, I think tonight everyone wants to see Second 2 None rise victorious - no questions asked."

Jethro Hayes: "The Southern Hero and the Virus are a team again. That's gotta suck for everyone else."

Matthew Engel: "They're shaking in their boots."

Engel and Hayes chuckle to themselves as they walk away from the camera, and we cut back to ringside.

David Blazenwing vs Mark Zout

Choose Your Destiny Steel Cage Match


The lights in the arena all cut to black and the Tron comes to life, pulsating with a green light as a quiet beat gets louder with every flash. It gets faster and faster, and louder with each pulse, until the pulsating light explodes into the words "True Icons Never Die" and “Till I Collapse” by Eminem feat. Nate Dogg blares across the arena sound system.


Eric Emerson: He hails from Milwaukee, Wisconsin…


The stage fills with smoke and the crowd comes to their feet, a mix of cheers and boos as the smoke clears on the stage and a man in a dark green trenchcoat stands, head down, facing the Tron. He raises his hands and snaps his fingers, causing four loud bursts of pyro to ignite, two on each side of him, before spinning around Y2J style to reveal David Blazenwing!


Eric Emerson: Weighing in tonight at 245 pounds…


His sunglasses shining with the glare from the arena lights, David looks to the left, then to the right, nodding towards the crowd before walking down the ramp. After stopping to slap hands with the few people not booing him, David moves towards the ring steps and hops up and down a few times in front of them before quickly racing up the steps to the apron side facing the stage. He stops and pulls his sunglasses off, then leans down and steps through the middle of the ropes to enter the ring. David walks across the ring and leaps up onto the second rope in the corner nearest the timekeeper, then pulls off his trenchcoat and tosses it towards the timekeeper.


Eric Emerson: He is The Full Effect… he is DAVID… BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZENWING!!!


David smirks and points to the fans, then slaps his chest a few times and points up towards the sky, closing his eyes and saying a short prayer. David leaps down from the corner and immediately turns to sit down in the same corner, ala Raven. David then rests his head on the second turnbuckle pad as his theme fades and the crowd continues, half cheering, half booing.

Jon McDaniel: Interestingly high stakes involved in this match folks.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, the winner of this match has free reign to chose which title they'd like to shoot for at Who's The Man?! this year.

Jon McDaniel: Hence... Chose Your Destiny!

Eric Emerson: And his opponent!

As the opening rift of Unbreakable tears across the airwaves of the arena, the color, intensity, and intervals of the lights begin to dance along with the chords.


Eric Emerson: "Ladies and Gentlemen! Introducing now, fighting out of Montréal, Québec... Standing at five feet, ten inches... Weighing in at two hundred five pounds... Mark Zout!"


The lyrics begin, and Mark bursts out from behind the curtain. He sports new Green and Black tights with sick-looking kickpads. This author felt it was very important to include just how awesome these kickpads are. He raises both arms in the air, drawing a positive reaction from the Marks in the audience.


Where are the people that accused me
The ones who beat me down and bruised me
They hide just out of sight
Can't face me in the light
They'll return but I'll be stronger


God, I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me


Mark slaps the hands of his fans as he runs down the entrance ramp until he dives into the ring, between the bottom and middle ropes, rolling afterward. He stands in the center of the ring, arms raised.


Sometimes it's hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can't see
To reach my destiny
I want to take control but I know better


God I want to dream again
Take me where I've never been
I want to go there
This time I'm not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It's unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me...

The cage lowers down over the ring as both men stare across at each other fiercely as...

DING DING DING

They immediately rush each other and clash in the middle of the ring. Mark with a right, Dave with a left. Mark sends out an elbow that catches Blazenwing square in the chin, twisting his head around. Blazenwing stumbles back but lashes out with a stiff kick to the gut of Mark Zout. Zout keels forward, Blazenwing with a spinning DDT lands flush on the canvas with Zout's head. Blazenwing looks to finish things quick as he jumps to his feet and hops over the ropes and grabs onto the cage walls and begins climbing up quickly now!

Brian Rentfro: Blazenwing smart enough to know he doesn't need to battle Zout for twenty minutes.

Jon McDaniel: He's looking to get the quick win over Zout.

Zout gets to his feet and shakes it off, looking up to see David Blazenwing already halfway up the cage. Blazenwing looks back and sees Zout up and drops back, putting his elbow out. Zout catches him mid air and plants him with a fallaway slam that ignites the crowd! Zout lifts Blazenwing up and begins pummeling him with elbows and forearm strikes. Zout whips Blazenwing into the cage and chases after him landing a Mexican dropkick that grates Dave's face against the cage.

Jon McDaniel: Zout taking hold of this match quickly now.

Brian Rentfro: Blazenwing should've just kept climbing instead of falling back.

Blazenwing gets to his feet and as he turns around Zout grapples with him. There's a bit of struggling until Zout lifts Blazenwing off his feet for a suplex BUT Dave kicks his feet a bit and reverses, landing back on his feet. Suddenly Blazenwing tightens his grip on Zout and snap suplexes Mark Zout into the cage behind him and both men crumple to the ground. The crowd cheers the back and forth as Blazenwing gets to his feet and lifts Zout up by the head. He takes Zout's face and smashes it against the cage walls repeatedly. Once! Twice! Thrice! Finally Zout sends an elbow back, smashing it over Blazenwings face. Blazenwing stumbles back and Zout jumps onto the cage wall then pushes himself off, spinning around and hitting a devastating heel kick onto Blazenwing.

Jon McDaniel: What an incredible move on Zouts part! Really getting the crowd pumped here.

Brian Rentfro: So he did some weird spinning kick thingy off the cage? YAWN, not impressed to be honest Jon.

Blazenwing gets to his feet and Zout hits him with an arm drag taking him down but Blazenwing quickly rebounds back to his feet. He hip tosses Mark Zout to the canvas, runs towards him and drops over his throat with a leg drop. Blazenwing is back up, lifting Zout but Zout sends a stiff right into his gut. Blazenwing quickly grabs Zout again by the head and knees him across the head hard, sending Zout back to the canvas. Blazenwing drops his knee down across Zout's shoulder as he holds him by the neck and sends a flurry of right stiff punches into his face. Zout elbows Blazewing in the ribs and kicks him in the face, pushing him back.

Jon McDaniel: Some stiff back and forth, don't see either one of them hanging onto a clear advantage right now. Besides pinfall won't work, they should really just be aiming to get over the top.

Brian Rentfro: I think after the words exchanged this week Jon, they wanna hurt each other a bit first.

They're both on their feet now as Zout rushes forward and clotheslines Blazenwing so hard he flips before he hits the canvas. He leaps forward to Blazenwing as he gets up and dropkicks him back down. Though Blazenwing now pulls himself right back to his feet, gingerly though. Zout rushes again to go for another Mexican dropkick but Blazenwing catches him by the legs, spins and powerbombs him right into the cage wall. Zout crumples to the canvas hard and Blazenwing rushes forward and hits a running kick right into Zout's chest. Blazenwing steps on Zout's head as he pushes himself up, using Zout as a stepping stone and begins climbing the cage wall again. Zout shakes it off and climbs up after him.

Jon McDaniel: Better be careful now, this could get dangerous.

Brian Rentfro: Pretty sure people came here to see dangerous, Jon.

Blazenwing looks next to him and a bit down and sends out a few kicks to Zout which miss their mark. Zout however grabs Blazenwings foot and begins pulling down on him. Blazenwing tries to get himself free but can't. Zout now grabs onto Blazenwing's right leg with both hands and hangs off the cage wall by them. Blazenwing winces, his grip slipping on the cage wall. Finally he decides to just drop and as he does he kicks Zout with his free left leg! They both fall a few feet to the canvas but Blazenwing's feet stomp hard on Zout's chest and neck as they hit the canvas. Blazenwing bounces off Zout falling to the canvas hard but Zout kicks and yells as he holds himself, his chest and his neck. Dwayne Cross looks on from the outside, yelling as he asks if Zout is alright. Blazenwing is quickly back on his feet and immediately begins climbing back up.

Brian Rentfro: Ba dun TISH! BACKFIRE BABY!

Jon McDaniel: Blazenwing's left foot broke his fall on Zout's chest, but the right foot Zout was holding onto broke his fall on Zout's throat. Zout could be seriously hurt from that.

Brian Rentfro: So? He was dumb enough to play hangman with Blazenwing's foot.

Blazenwing climbs over the top of the cage and begins climbing down the other side as Zout stumbles to his feet, gasping for air. Zout holds his throat and groans as he looks up just as Blazenwing drops a few feet down and lands on the outside. Referee Cross calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Dwayne Cross raises David Blazenwing's hand on the outside.

Eric Emerson: The winner... DAVID BLAZENWING!

The crowd is mixed, they can't believe it as Blazenwing rushes up the ramp laughing as he holds his arms up.

Zout is Fuxxed!


Dos Cara:
Mark... Up here, Mark. On the screen...

The PWAtron lights up as a live feed comes in. Dos is in ring gear in a poorly lit room. The only source of light comes from above and shines down on a half dressed Roxxy Fuxx. She wears a MarkonZout T-shirt that is much too large and probably intended as a night shirt and not much else. Her hair is a tangled mess and she is bound to the chair with athletic tape. A red rag is stuffed in her mouth and secured by several wrap-arounds of tape. She is quaking and flinches when Dos nears her.

Dos Cara:
You've been a very busy boy, Mark. PWA, BWF, announcing our matches, steel cages...

Dos Cara:
It's been very difficult to keep up with you.

Dos Cara:
So we've decided to stop trying.

Dos Cara:
While you were expecting us to interfere this week, we decided that had grown a bit tiresome.

Dos Cara:
So we began plotting. While you were in your Montreal loft this past week we paid a visit to your apartment in Seattle.

Dos Cara:
It's a very nice apartment. But we found something there you might care about a bit more than your ceiling to floor blackout curtains. Pretty, isn't she?

Dos Cara:
Ah-ah-ah, we know what you're thinking. Stay right there. If you come after us we'll have to kill her.

Dos Cara:
We won't kill her.

Dos Cara:
We'll hurt her.

Dos Cara:
That we could do.

Dos Cara:
Easily. So we're going to play a game, you and we.

Dos Cara:
Head to head. The game is simple and will take place over seven weeks. Starting tonight, and each consecutive week after this you will ask us one yes or no question about the location of your beloved Roxxy Fuxx. On the seventh night you will guess the correct location. And if you fail to do so...

Dos Cara:
Then she belongs to us. Permanently.

Dos Cara:
She's not really our type...

He licks her ear, leaving the only sound in the arena for that moment her muffled scream.

Dos Cara:
But a Fuxx is a Fuxx.

The screen goes black, leaving an infuriated Mark Zout shaking with his fury. He screams an explicative before we break for commercial.

Future Fortold


Darkness expands.

The silence is broken by the echo of distant thunder, moments before the darkness is parted by a flash of lightning. Damp decaying stonework of a tomb is visable in the brief illumination. The encroaching shadows coalesce into a familiar form. Ebony fabric rustles in the breeze. Suddenly torches crackle to life revealing a worn stone staircase leading downward. A distant boom reverberates throughout the area.

BOOM

Come on, Come on!
Come on, Come on!

All those Saturdays, when kids go out and play
Yo I was up in my room I let the stereo blaze
Wasn't faded, not jaded, just a kid with a pad and pen
And a big imagination
All this, I seek, I find I push the envelope to the line
Make it, break it
Take it, until I’m overrated!

The scene cuts to black and white footage of a tall muscular figure charging across a wrestling ring, spearing his opponent and carrying him across the mat before planting him with a running power slam.

BOOM

Click Click Boom!
I'm comin' down on the stereo, hear me on the radio
Click Click Boom!
I'm comin' down with the new style and you know it's buck wild
Click Click Boom!
I'm on the radio station TOUR around the nation leaving the scene in devastation

I can see it in my mind
I can see it in your eyes
It's close enough to touch it now
far away enough to die!

We are returned to the crypt interior following the sillouette as it continues it's trek. To the left side of the tunnel is a toppled coffin, it's skeletal inhabitant sprawling upon the cold unforgiving floor. The former lid of the coffin is scored by char marks and splattered with dark reddish-brown stains as the hapless soul had attempted to rally against it's inevitable fate. The brass nameplate bears the inscription PWA/AOWF.

BOOM

What the hell is wrong with me?
My mom and dad weren't perfect
But still you don't hear no cryin' ass bitchin' from me
Like there seems to be on everybody's CD
So just sit back and relax
And let me have your head for a minute
I can show you somethin' in it
That has yet to be preceded, oh yeah!

Another snap to black and white footage, this time the strong athletic muscled man drops his adversary into the canvas repeatedly with a Russian leg drop.

BOOM

Click Click Boom!
I'm comin' down on the stereo, hear me on the radio
Click Click Boom!
I'm comin' down with the new style and you know it's buck wild
Click Click Boom!
I'm on the radio station Tour around the nation,
Leavin' the scene in devastation

The cowled man strides past a set of sepulchers, their ceilings collapsed, the rubble strewn along the tunnel. There is little legible upon the twisted and scratched nameplates save a single letter upon each individually: 'B', 'R', and 'V'.

BOOM

Why have I clouded up my mind
Why's my mother always right
And will I make it to the end
Or will I crawl away and die

Click click boom
click click boom
click click boom
click click boom

Once more the view shifts monocromatic. The musceled grappler has locked his opponent into an Anaconda Cross, swinging him through the air. Suddenly he arches backward to execute a high angle suplex, thrusting his adversary's head into the mat.

BOOM

All those Saturdays, when kids go out and play
Yo I was up in my room I let the stereo blaze
Those Saturdays, when kids go out and play
Yo I was up in my room I let the stereo blaze

It's all inside of me
It's all inside of my head
It's all inside of me
It's comin' over me
It's all inside of me
It's all inside my head!
Yeah!

Click Click Boom!
I'm comin' down on the stereo, hear me on the radio
Click Click Boom!
I'm comin' down with the new style and you know it's buck wild
Everybody, everybody come on!

The black cloaked figure steps before a rusted double set of iron doors. Above the doors, chiseled into the archway is the legend 'PWA'. The man lifts his left palm towards the doors. They shudder then slowly swing inward with a groan. Beyond lies nothing but a grey abyss. The torchlight reflects upon the figure's emotionless eyes before flickering and dying, returning us to dark silence.

After a moment a message appears in the black gloom ...

2 Weeks
The End is the Beginning is the End!

This fades away to a single iconic symbol before snapping to black.

Magic, The Gathering


[The Final Bosses, Ash and Maverick, are backstage playing Go Fish in their dressing room to distress from their individual matches earlier in the evening. Suddenly, Scottie "The Panther" Snow and Steve "Birdman" Morely bust into the room.]

Scottie Snow: Alright Assholes, prepare to taste defeat!

[The Assholes ignore Scottie.]

Ash Nukem: Johnny, gimme all your fives.

Johnny Maverick: Go fish.

Scottie Snow: Hey, you me looking chump, I'm talking to you!

Johnny Maverick: Ash, I think you're being paged.

[Ash Nukem turns to face Scotty.]

Scottie Snow: That's more like it! The Birdman and I are here to officially challenge you to a tag team title match!

Ash Nukem: Yeah, that's nice.

[Nukem turns back to the table.]

Scottie Snow: What? I'm a former World champion! I'm a Hall of Famer! You're just going to ignore me like that?

Ash Nukem: That's the plan, chief.

Scottie Snow: So that's how it’s gonna be, huh? Fine, but remember, you brought this on yourself! He's holding threes, a five and king!

[Nukem throws down his cards in disgust and stands up to confront Snow. Morely steps between the two men and slaps Nukem hard across the face. Both Nukem and Snow look at Morely in surprise. Nukem looks at Maverick and they nod. Snow looks and Morely and they panic. The Panther and the Birdman run from the dressing room with the Assholes close on their heels. As the Assholes run into the hall, following Snow and Morely, they get clobbered from behind by Might & Magic, holding baseball bats. The tag champs go down, but Might & Magic don't slow the attack. The Assholes struggle to fight back against the attack, but being caught by surprise with bats is too much to overcome. With every swing of his bat, the Dragon shouts "This is what happens when you fuck another man in the ass!" As the Assholes' struggles slow down, Might & Magic drop the bats and start in with kicks. Moke Doshky leans down and grabs Maverick's feet and giant swings him head first into the wall. The Dragon pulls Nukem to his feet so he can DDT him on the concrete floor. Satisfied that the men are out cold, Might & Magic head into the locker room and are just as quickly out, carrying the tag team titles.]

[The Dragon snaps the belt around his waist, then kneels down. He grabs Maverick's hair and pulls his head back so he can look Maverick in the face.]

The Dragon: You think you're so clever? You, my friend, have just entered a world of pain.

[The Dragon slams Mavericks head into the floor, then Might & Magic walk away.]

The Phoenix & The Redeemer vs Second To None

Main Event Tag Team Match


Jon McDaniel: Here we are, Brian, it’s time for our main event of the evening.

Brian Rentfro: What we have, is two of our PWA Champions, The Phoenix and The Redeemer, going against two men who are in the Who’s The Man!? Tournament, who are allies and former PWA Tag-Team Champions.

Jon McDaniel: What’s on the line here is pride. The Champions came off Genesis with huge wins, upsetting two PWA staples; Enika Engel and Matt Stone. The team of Second to None is setting themselves up to make another run at the tag-team titles, so a win here tonight could really elevate them to that level in a hurry.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is our tag-team main event of the evening.
"Time for a lil' Southern Justice"

Colt Ford's special remake of this song for Jethro Hayes hits up in the arena's speakers. The youngest Grand Slam Champion in PWA history walks through the black curtain, he looks out to the crowd.

~Down the road where the black top ends, you can find Jethro Hayes with all his friends, we're used to gravel roads, and fishin' with cane poles, wasn't no swimmin' pools, jus swimmin' holes.~

Up on the screen a blacktop road begins to wind away in front of us and we travel along it as though we are in a car. Jethro holds his fisted right hand into the air and the crowd pops for. Jethro begins to walk down the ramp making sure to slap the hands of the fans along his way. Jethro goes from side to side because if they are going to respect him for what he is doing and how he is changed, he will respect them as well.

~We was dirt road poor, and cane switched raised, done came a long way since back in them days, been ‘round the world twice seen all fifty states, ate on thousand dollar china, but love sum paper plates , there aint nuthin wrong with them big city lights, but me, I prefer them slow country nights, where I can see the darkness come and then go~

Along the side of the ropes are buildings erected with the names of the Championships that he has won instead of typical names of businesses. Other such names include "Hall of Fame", "Wrestler of the Quarter", "Face of the Year", and many "Match of the Quarter" buildings are all along side the rode. He reaches the bottom of the ramp.

~Most folks is honest, and they all speak slow, you can leave your door open, aint nuttin' gunna happen, most country folks sing, but I couldn't, so im rappin, I wanna show yall where I come from, and invite yall all down to any country town~

The road winds through a small city, but the image of the very arena in which we are having the PWA show tonight comes into view around a corner. Jethro climbs the steps and is on the apron. He wipes his feet out of respect for the legends in this sport and the respect he has for this sport before stepping through the ropes.

(Chorus with John Michael Montgomery singing)

Now before I pack and things and leave, there's sumthin I need yall to understand, I seen alotta things in my life time, that's why I walk the line, I'm just a simple man, and I aint in the things for cheep thrills, but all my scars heel, so don't you ever cry for me, I aint ashamed where I'm from, you're always welcome, to take a ride through the country.

Eric Emerson: From Lenox, Georgia he stands at six feet seven inches, weighing in at three hundred and fifteen pounds... Jethro Hayes!

~Up, dressed, and gone by 5 am, he's country, and he's rappin' we gotta play him, folks been waitin for some one like me, to give ‘em some hot beats and spit that country~

Jethro hits the ropes, bouncing off to get the blood pumping a bit before his match. The blacktop road in front of us enters the arena's door and heads somewhere inside.

~His overalls don't sag, they fit, they kinda tight, got on a John Deere t-shirt, no nothin' but work. Daylight til dark, that's how I was bread, and I'll keep bein' country til the day I'm dead~

Jethro climbs the turnbuckle that faces the majority of the crowd, holding up his fisted right hand before pointing to them. Just in front of the blacktop road is a black curtain, we sit here waiting as though it is the end of our ride.

~See, country folks eat biscuits called cat heads, bar-b-q, baked beans, sweet tea, and white bread, we like to fish and hunt, aint scared of a fight, love the Good Lord and believe in doin' right,~

He drops down, rushing to the opposite side of the ring to climb up and point to that section of the crowd.

~Got 4-wheel drives, some got mud on ‘em, you can keep your rolls roice, cuz baby, we don't want 'em! So now yall all know exactly who I am, and if you aint into that, i don't give a damn!~

Jethro drops down, heading to the third corner and once again climbs up, pointing out to himself before he points to the crowd.

The chorus hits up again...

~Now before I pack my things and leave, there's sumthin I need yall to understand, I seen alotta things in my life time, that's why I walk the line, I'm just a simple man, and I aint in the things for cheep thrills, but all my scars heel, so don't you ever cry for me, I aint ashamed where I'm from, you're always welcome, take a ride through the country.~
Jethro climbs the final turnbuckle, and points to this section of the crowd.

~You might have seen me on your t.v, but honey, that don't mean a thing, you see, I'm still that same ‘ol country boy, and that's all I'll ever be, and sometime, those bright lights blind me, and make it hard for me to see, but when I need to be reminded, I take a ride through the country~

Jethro drops down, he heads to center ring where he looks down to gather his thoughts before the match.

~At about 5 o'clock on Friday afternoon, them country boys head down to the local saloon, you welcome to stop in and have a cold bottle, big city boys and stuck up super models, we don't care where ya from, as long as you polite, cuz push come to shove and every one of us will fight~

Even through the roar of the crowd, Jethro nods as he listens to the song and allows it to remind him of things in the past. It reminds him of the times he's been pushed around and how he will not let it happen anymore.

~We mostly easy like Sunday morning, ol' Colt came here to give yall fair warnin', country folks wont be pushed around, and theres some of us livin' in every town, we believe in the Bible, and the U.S.A, work hard for what you want, it's the American way, no body owe you nothin' supposed to earn your keep, but in a hard days work, get a good nights sleep,
I know some of yall think Colt's kinda odd, but I'm loud, proud and country by the grace of God!~

Jethro points to the crowd one last time as the blacktop view on the big screen seemingly flies through the screen, showing that Jethro considers those fans in attendance friends.(it goes back to the very first line in the first verse). Jethro turns to face the entrance ramp, raising his head up so that he can see it clearly.

The lights go out inside the arena as "Sympathy for the Devil" performed by Guns N' Roses hits the sound system. Green and silver pyros shoot off as spotlights around the PWAtron move to the rhythm of the song.

Eric Emerson: Introducing now, hailing from Milwaukee, Wisconsin...

Matthew Engel steps out from behind the curtains as one of the moving spotlights shines down on him. He is in his usual dark green tuxedo. The magnificent voice of Axl Rose comes to life.

"Please allow me to introduce myself..
I'm a man of wealth and taste.

I've been around for a long, long year..
Stole many a man's soul and faith."

The crowd gets on their feet, but most of them are booing the former World Champion. Engel begins to make his way down to the ring.

Eric Emerson: He stands six feet tall and weighs in tonight at 210 pounds...

"Pleased to meet you.. hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game."

Engel remains focused on the ring, and reaches the steel steps. He ascends onto the apron, and climbs into the ring between the top and middle ropes.

"I watched with glee..
While your kings and queens..
Fought for ten decades..
For the Gods they made."

Eric Emerson: He is a three time World Heavyweight Champion and a two time Intercontinental Champion... he is MATTHEW.. "VIRUS"... ENGEL!!!!

"Just as every cop is a criminal..
and all the sinners.. saints..
as heads is tails, just call me Lucifer..
'cause I'm in need of some restraint.

So if you meet me..
have some courtesy..
have some sympathy..
and some taste.

Use all your well learned politesse
or I'll lay your soul to waste."

Engel has removed his jacket, tie, and dress shirt, revealing his standard white undershirt. He begins to stretch in the ring and prepare himself for the match.

Eric Emerson: And now, their opponents, introducing first…

The Jobber Blues House Band begins to play a jazzy rendition of "Slaughterama" by GWAR. Robert Greenberg steps out from behind the curtain and walks to the top of the ramp. He smirks and looks around at the cheering crowd, waving.

Robert Greenberg: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS! I AM ONE RUDE, CRUDE DUDE WITH A ROCK-AND-ROLL ATTITUDE! ROBERT -- [dirty poem that will be sent in every week] -- GREENBERG!

The crowd goes bananas.

Robert Greenberg: Tonight's guest(s): [derogatory bit about opponent which will also be PMed weekly]! And now, HERE IS YOUR HOST... HE TOWERS OVER MOST OF HIS COMPETITION AT 6'7", AND WEIGHS IN AT 275 LBS. ... HE IS DUFF-MAAAN!

The band plays on and Duff-Man emerges from the back. His million-dollar-smile can be seen from the nosebleeds, and he's wearing a blue-and-white pinstripe sport jacket. He waves to the crowd, blows kisses, and gives out high-fives as if they were going out of style. He stops at ringside to give his cheap sunglasses to some lucky fan.

Duff looks in the ring and smiles as he climbs the stairs. He gets in the ring and walks over to his corner, waiting for the match to begin.

Eric Emerson: And his partner…he is the PWA Television Champion; The Phoenix!

Thing of Beauty by Hothouse Flowers begins to play just as the arena lights go out and the ADC tron lights up with a picture of a flaming bird. The bird explodes in a ball of fire and white and green pyros flare from the ring posts. The Phoenix and the Smoking Leprechaun walk out to the entrance ramp and head to the ring.

Jon McDaniel: A strange combination, Duff and Phoenix… against two men who know each other well, this should be a good contest.

DING! DING! DING!

The bell sounds and starting out in the match are The Phoenix and Jethro Hayes. Phoenix avoids any physicality from Jethro while hitting and running, trying to wear down the bigger man, but is stopped when a clothesline knocks him flat on his back. With quick tags reminding everyone that Jethro and Matthew are former tag team champions the two of them work over the smaller Phoenix. Just when it was looking bleak for The Phoenix, he manages to reverse a superplex from Jethro into a tornado DDT off the top rope and make the tag to Duff. Jethro manages to make the tag to Matthew and the crowd cheers, finally seeing the match-up they wanted.

Matthew and Duff square off, blow for blow, but Matthew get’s the edge by giving Duff a knee lift. Before too long, Engel has Duff locked in a half crab leaning back on his adversary when Phoenix rushes in and hits a dropkick on Engel to get him to release the hold. Jethro charges in and Phoenix avoids his clothesline this time and dropkicks him in the back, forcing the country boy out of the ring. Phoenix hits the ropes and runs at Jethro, diving between the ropes for a suicide dive, ramming the Country boy into the barricade. Duff get’s back to his feet as does Engel. Duff hits a few high impact moves on the Virus and get’s a near fall for his effort.

The two combatants have now tagged out and Jethro and Phoenix are back in the ring. Phoenix hits Jethro with a hurricane-ranna and sets him on his back in the middle of the ring. Without missing a beat, The Phoenix climbs the turnbuckle and leaps off the top, hitting Jethro in the sternum with The Ashes! Engel runs in the ring and picks up Phoenix and places him on his shoulder before driving him down on the mat with a vicious Sons of Plunder! Phoenix is laid out and rolls out of the ring holding his face. Duff rushes in and doubles Engel over with a kick to the midsection, setting him up and hitting him with the Ragnarok! Duff get’s up to admire his handiwork and turns right into Jethro who charges into him, connecting with the Plow! Jethro’s body takes all the wind out of Duff and Jethro immediately hooks Duff’s outside leg, amongst the confusion the referee lost track of who was legal and get’s down, counting the 1 2 3!!!

Winners: Second to None.

Lines Have Been Drawn


After the match, Jethro and Engel leave the ring, pleased with their actions. Meanwhile, as Duff stirs, Phoenix comes in and looks at Duff, angrily. He looks out at the fans, and then back to Duff and bends and picks Duff up.

Jon McDaniel: Uh oh.

Brian Rentfro: One thing about Phoenix. He doesn’t take defeat easy.

Duff sways, regaining his bearings, but not in time as Phoenix DDT’s Duff to the canvas. He then turns and waves to the stage, and out come Might & Magic.

Jon McDaniel: Oh, hell no. Come on, Rob!

Dragon and Moke hop in the ring along with Phoenix and they surround Duff. The three men then begin a basic stomp a mud hole into Duff, who can’t protect himself.

Brian Rentfro: And it’s time to say goodbye to Duff.

Suddenly the crowd erupts as Johnny Maverick and Ash Nukem race out and dive into the ring. The tag champs quickly clean house, chasing Might & Magic and Phoenix outside of the ring. Ash helps Duff to his feet, while Maverick hefts a chair he brought with him.

Jon McDaniel: Lines have been drawn, and the Assholes are in force.

Brian Rentfro: And it’s really too bad! If Phoenix had aligned himself with the Assholes, they’d have held every single title in the company save the World title! He missed out on a hell of an opportunity!

Jon McDaniel: You’re not telling me it would have been a new Pantheon!? Oh hell, no!

Brian Rentfro: Sure! But now Phoenix and his lackies Might & Magic, may be hell bent not only on taking out Duff, but taking the tag-titles from the Final Bosses. This could be epic!

Jon McDaniel: Maybe, but Maverick has to be extra careful. He’s in the WTM Tournament, and can’t afford the distraction he finds himself in.

Brian Rentfro: The distraction could find him. That’s all for tonight, folks, we’ll see you next week for another edition of Rampage. Good night!

© PWA 2011