Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


01-11-2011


Intro


We jump into the show with very little fanfare. This isn't a fault with the show by the way, it's you. You're watching a replay, and you're late. For shame.

Oh well, lets get on with it.

Xan Vaxman vs Matt Stone (C)

Intercontinental Championship Match


Brian Rentfro: This match is weird, Jon.

Jon McDaniel: It is, Brian. It was meant to be a Three Way Dance, in the Cody Bogards Champion challenge.

Brian Rentfro: Whoever gave Bogard ANY power or choice over any booking matters should be fired, by the way.

Jon McDaniel: Regardless, it was meant to be between El Gringo Tonto, the PWA Grizzly Beer Champion versus Ollie Maverick, one half of the PWA Tag Team Champions versus Matt Stone, the PWA Intercontinental Champion. Non Title all the way through, to be sure.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah then Matt Stone decided to say hey, fuck you Cody Bogard! Let's make this for the Intercontinental title! And I guess Lisa Seldon said sure, why not as she is usually carefree on most things.

Jon McDaniel: Sadly, Ollie Maverick was involved in an accident with his brother Johnny and will not be participating in this match either now. We of course wish him and his brother Johnny a speedy and quick recovery from any injuries sustained during that ordeal.

Brian Rentfro: So this match has now become a singles match for the PWA Intercontinental title, and no one even cares about Bogard.

DING DING DING

Eric Emerson: The following contest is schedueled for one fall, and will be for the Pioneer Wrestling Association Intercontinental Championship! Introducing first, the challenger!

"Hey amigos . . ."

A very Mexican style rhythm started to play for a short period of time

"Adelante amigos . . ."

It was at this point that a litter throne rose up from a lift on the top of the stage, it was being carried by two men, all of which appeared to be poor as they wore tattered clothing. Gringo himself, naturally, was sitting in the chair as they carried him down to the ring as if he was a god or something.

When he got to the ring the litter was turned so that he could easily stand to enter the ring. He stepped onto the apron as the two men set the human-powered transport vehicle down before both sliding into the ring and holding open the ropes for him. He entered the ring without even so much as acknowledging them.

The men then got on all fours in the corner so that Tonto could use him and the turnbuckles as a chair, well placing his feet up on the other man's back waiting for his Stone.

Eric Emerson: And his opponent, The Champion!

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I'm so whoa

Matt Stone comes out from the back to a chorus of boos accompanied by her personal interview Elizabeth Davis. He struts down the ramp towards the ring, wearing his patterned hoodie with a large Maple Leaf on the back. He threatens to hit a member of the crowd who was holding up a "Canada sucks" sign and just walks on.

Say whoa (whoa)
The more I feed it (whoa)
The more I need it (whoa)
Whoa
You say whoa
Whoa is me
I'm so whoa

Matt whispers something to Liz and she nods, walking around the ring and taking a seat in a folding chair set up for her. Matt gets on the apron and gets inside the ring, heading straight to a corner and mounts the middle turnbuckle raising his hands. "I'm the best there is!" He shouts out over the loud jeers being rained down on him. He shakes his head to their reaction. "You don't deserve to see me!" He shouts out getting down and taking off the hoodie, setting it on the apron where Liz gets up to retrieve before returning to her chair. Matt get's ready for his opponent, bouncing off the ropes to loosen up as his music fades away. Gringo points to Stone who shakes his head with contempt at Gringo.

DING DING DING

The two men begin to circle each other. They grapple up and Stone shoots out a knee and nails Gringo in the gut. El Gringo Tonto stumbles back and hits a knife edge chop against Stone's chest. Another one! Stone quickly grabs Tonto's arm before a third and throws him into an armbar. Stone wrenches it in and then whips Tonto into the ropes. Tonto comes flying back like and Stone bends forward, allowing El Gringo Tonto to hop over Matt Stone like he was the Arizona border. Tonto bounces back off the opposite end ropes and comes back towards Stone. He goes for a flying lariat but Stone sidesteps him and grabs him by the neck, planting Gringo Tonto down with a reverse DDT. Tonto shakes it off as he rolls away and gets back to his feet.

Jon McDaniel: Some quick back and forth to start the match, a good pace I'd say.

Brian Rentfro: Sure, but these guys are wrestling like it's just another Chaos. We need blood!

Jon McDaniel: Not every match can be an exploding chair barbed wire rope inferno death match, Brian.

Brian Rentfro: Hmph. Didn't Obama teach you anything? YES, THEY CAN!

Stone hits a hip toss on Tonto that takes him down to the canvas. Tonto flips himself back to his feet and hits a spinning heel kick that sends spit out of Matt Stone's mouth. Stone spins around and Tonto grabs ahold of him from behind and hits a Full Nelson suplex to the canvas. Stone rolls away and grabs the ropes, pulling himself to his feet. He steps back and springboards off the middle rope with a flying elbow, knocking Gringo Tonto in the face. They both go down but Tonto quickly reverses the situation by locking in an ankle lock on Stone. Stone quickly breaks free though, rolling over to his back and unleashing a straight kick to Tonto's face.

Jon McDaniel: Excellent counters by Matt Stone. He is always aware of what's happening and how to get out of any situation.

Brian Rentfro: Probably why whoever faces him get's frustrated.

Stone and Tonto are up, and Tonto and Stone grapple again. Tonto hits a vertical suplex but Stone quickly gets back to his feet and unleashes a vicious clothesline on Tonto! Tonto bounces off the canvas and right back to his feet, and Stone unleashes yet another thunderous clothesline. Tonto hits the canvas but bounces right back up to his feet but this time Stone double underhooks both Tonto's arms and plants him down with a DDT to the canvas. Stone bounces off the ropes and lands a leg drop on the back of Tonto's head. Tonto holds his neck and kicks the canvas as Matt Stone gets to his feet and scoffs at the booing crowd, taunting them by motioning a title belt around his waist. Tonto takes this time to get to his feet but suddenly...

Jon McDaniel: Waaaaaait a minute!

Brian Rentfro: Oh my GOD!

"Lights Out" by Mindless Self Indulgence hits, the theme song of Xan Vaxman himself! It infuriates Tonto who heads to the ropes and leans over looking towards the entrance ramp, waiting for Vaxman to show his face! Most of the crowd can't believe it and Stone smirks as he stalks Tonto from behind while he's distracted. STONE CUTTER! STONE CUTTER! Matt Stone quickly hooks both legs, and Dwayne Cross drops for the count.

1!

2!!

3!!!

DING DING DING

Jon McDaniel: Jesus Christ...

Brian Rentfro: Say WHOAAAA! What a victory! Stone can get'cha that quick!

Tonto rolls out of the ring, grabs the PWA Grizzly Beer title and makes a run for the back, presumably after Xan Vaxman. Stone is handed the Intercontinental title and has his arm raised, he's quite satisfied with another victory here tonight.

Jon McDaniel: I wish someone would wipe that smirk off his face...

Brian Rentfro: You may get your wish. Look! Is it a bird?! Is it a plane?! Is it Spykeman!? NO!

The camera pans up and we see Cody Bogard rappelling down from the arena ceiling.

Brian Rentfro: IT'S THE CRISIS ACE! CODY BOGARD!

The crowd cheers loudly, and this greatly confuses Matt Stone as he looks around at them. Suddenly as Bogard rapidly approaches, he unclips himself from his harness and drops a few feet with his legs outstretched and catches Matt Stone in the back of the head with an incredible death defying dropkick! Bogard is quickly up and he grabs the PWA Intercontinental title and smashes it repeatedly over Matt Stone's head until Stone's busts open and is bleeding from his forehead. Bogard drops the title and rolls out of the ring, shaking his head and yelling back at Matt Stone who holds his face in disbelief.

Jon McDaniel: Say WHOAAAAAA Brian!

Brian Rentfro: That was incredibly stupid and dumb. He could've gotten hurt!

Jon McDaniel: No Matt Stone got hurt this time! Hah! The crowd loves it!

Fans: BOGARD! BOGARD! BOGARD!

Brian Rentfro: Boregard! Boregard! Boregard! He'll PAY for disgracing Matt Stone in such a way!

Jon McDaniel: I think the Stoner Nation is saying WHOA Brian!

Brian Rentfro: You killed it, like you do everything. Great.

Jethro Hayes vs Chamelion

Grudge Match


"Time for a lil' Southern Justice"

Colt Ford's special remake of this song for Jethro Hayes hits up in the arena's speakers. The youngest Grand Slam Champion in PWA history walks through the black curtain, he looks out to the crowd.

~Down the road where the black top ends, you can find Jethro Hayes with all his friends, we're used to gravel roads, and fishin' with cane poles, wasn't no swimmin' pools, jus swimmin' holes.~

Up on the screen a blacktop road begins to wind away in front of us and we travel along it as though we are in a car. Jethro holds his fisted right hand into the air and the crowd pops for. Jethro begins to walk down the ramp making sure to slap the hands of the fans along his way. Jethro goes from side to side because if they are going to respect him for what he is doing and how he is changed, he will respect them as well.

~We was dirt road poor, and cane switched raised, done came a long way since back in them days, been ‘round the world twice seen all fifty states, ate on thousand dollar china, but love sum paper plates , there aint nuthin wrong with them big city lights, but me, I prefer them slow country nights, where I can see the darkness come and then go~

Along the side of the ropes are buildings erected with the names of the Championships that he has won instead of typical names of businesses. Other such names include "Hall of Fame", "Wrestler of the Quarter", "Face of the Year", and many "Match of the Quarter" buildings are all along side the rode. He reaches the bottom of the ramp.

~Most folks is honest, and they all speak slow, you can leave your door open, aint nuttin' gunna happen, most country folks sing, but I couldn't, so im rappin, I wanna show yall where I come from, and invite yall all down to any country town~

The road winds through a small city, but the image of the very arena in which we are having the PWA show tonight comes into view around a corner. Jethro climbs the steps and is on the apron. He wipes his feet out of respect for the legends in this sport and the respect he has for this sport before stepping through the ropes.

(Chorus with John Michael Montgomery singing)
Now before I pack and things and leave, there's sumthin I need yall to understand, I seen alotta things in my life time, that's why I walk the line, I'm just a simple man, and I aint in the things for cheep thrills, but all my scars heel, so don't you ever cry for me, I aint ashamed where I'm from, you're always welcome, to take a ride through the country.

Eric Emerson: From Lenox, Georgia he stands at six feet seven inches, weighing in at three hundred and fifteen pounds... Jethro Hayes!

~Up, dressed, and gone by 5 am, he's country, and he's rappin' we gotta play him, folks been waitin for some one like me, to give ‘em some hot beats and spit that country~

Jethro hits the ropes, bouncing off to get the blood pumping a bit before his match. The blacktop road in front of us enters the arena's door and heads somewhere inside.

~His overalls don't sag, they fit, they kinda tight, got on a John Deere t-shirt, no nothin' but work. Daylight til dark, that's how I was bread, and I'll keep bein' country til the day I'm dead~

Jethro climbs the turnbuckle that faces the majority of the crowd, holding up his fisted right hand before pointing to them. Just in front of the blacktop road is a black curtain, we sit here waiting as though it is the end of our ride.

~See, country folks eat biscuits called cat heads, bar-b-q, baked beans, sweet tea, and white bread, we like to fish and hunt, aint scared of a fight, love the Good Lord and believe in doin' right,~

He drops down, rushing to the opposite side of the ring to climb up and point to that section of the crowd.

~Got 4-wheel drives, some got mud on ‘em, you can keep your rolls roice, cuz baby, we don't want 'em! So now yall all know exactly who I am, and if you aint into that, i don't give a damn!~

Jethro drops down, heading to the third corner and once again climbs up, pointing out to himself before he points to the crowd.

The chorus hits up again...

~Now before I pack my things and leave, there's sumthin I need yall to understand, I seen alotta things in my life time, that's why I walk the line, I'm just a simple man, and I aint in the things for cheep thrills, but all my scars heel, so don't you ever cry for me, I aint ashamed where I'm from, you're always welcome, take a ride through the country.~
Jethro climbs the final turnbuckle, and points to this section of the crowd.

~You might have seen me on your t.v, but honey, that don't mean a thing, you see, I'm still that same ‘ol country boy, and that's all I'll ever be, and sometime, those bright lights blind me, and make it hard for me to see, but when I need to be reminded, I take a ride through the country~

Jethro drops down, he heads to center ring where he looks down to gather his thoughts before the match.

~At about 5 o'clock on Friday afternoon, them country boys head down to the local saloon, you welcome to stop in and have a cold bottle, big city boys and stuck up super models, we don't care where ya from, as long as you polite, cuz push come to shove and every one of us will fight~

Even through the roar of the crowd, Jethro nods as he listens to the song and allows it to remind him of things in the past. It reminds him of the times he's been pushed around and how he will not let it happen anymore.

~We mostly easy like Sunday morning, ol' Colt came here to give yall fair warnin', country folks wont be pushed around, and theres some of us livin' in every town, we believe in the Bible, and the U.S.A, work hard for what you want, it's the American way, no body owe you nothin' supposed to earn your keep, but in a hard days work, get a good nights sleep,
I know some of yall think Colt's kinda odd, but I'm loud, proud and country by the grace of God!~

Jethro points to the crowd one last time as the blacktop view on the big screen seemingly flies through the screen, showing that Jethro considers those fans in attendance friends.(it goes back to the very first line in the first verse). Jethro turns to face the entrance ramp, raising his head up so that he can see it clearly.

***Chamelion's Entrance***Ding Ding

Chamelion and Jethro stare at each other, Chamelion up to Jethro and Hayes down to Sommers. Chamelion with a slap to Jethro's face before grabbing the wrist into a wristlock. Jethro ducks under the wristlock getting Mark up onto his shoulders spinning around. Chamelion grabs for an inverted DDT, but Jethro slams him over onto his rear with a innovative snapmare type move. Jethro off the ropes with a running knee strike.

Jon McDaniel: Southern Unhospitality!

Brian Rentfro: Chamelion lays back avoiding the rare signature, kicking out as Jethr runs past. Jethro stumbles into the ropes holding at his right leg as Chamelion kips up to his feet. Mark is on Jethro quickly with a roundhouse kick to the jaw sending him into the corner. Jethro falls in the corner back first, Chamelion is on him with a mount and the closed fists of an vengeful man.

One!

Two!

Three!

Jethro shoves Chamelion off, but Mark hops back up with a standing dropkick. Jethro grabs the ankles of Mark spinning around with a release sending Mark sliding across the ring. Jethro holds at his jaw as he stares daggers at Chamelion getting up across the ring from him.

Jon McDaniel: Jethro needs to end this match early since he is in the rumble.

Brian Rentfro: Why? Jethro has no chance to win the rumble, the favorite is Enika Engel.

Jethro charges at Chamelion who leaps up and over Jethro with a forward roll and up to his feet. Jethro spins around but Mark is ahead of him with a leg sweep taking Jethro down onto his back. Mark off the ropes with a springboard moonsault, but Jethro rolls out of the way and Mark crashes into the canvas holding at his midsection. Jethro pulls Chamelion up to his feet, forearm to the chest backing him in the corner. Jethro with a knife edge chop that gets the mandatory comment from the crowd. Jethro with a second before whipping Mark out of the corner into the opposite corner. Jethro with a head of steam, but Mark flips up and over the corner to the apron on the outside. Jethro stops himself from charging head long into the corner, Mark pointing at his own temple. Jethro waits as Mark spins around finding Jethro standing there and is quick with a right hand. Jethro backs up, Mark springs to the top rope before launching himself with a crossbody taking Jethro over onto the canvas. Mark up quick stomping down on Jethro's right leg, the one he kicked earlier in the match. Jethro rolls over, but Mark is out of reach and bouncing off the ropes. Jethro ducks under the roundhouse kick catching Chamelion and planting him with a sit-out spinebuster. Jethro throws the legs off his shoulders, pushing up to his feet and grabbing Mark dragging hiim up as well. Mark fires into Jethro's midsection with a right hand backing him up into the ropes, but Jethro lifts a knee into Mark's face stopping the fists for the moment. Jethro brings a second knee into Mark's face before lifting him up onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry.

Jon McDaniel: This match isn't good for Chamelion either as he is also in the rumble later on.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, he is the favorite to win you know.

Jon McDaniel: How is he and Enika going to win?

Brian Rentfro: Who said Enika was a favorite?

Jon McDaniel: You did.

Brian Rentfro: Liar!

Jrethro spins going for the Calf Toss, but Chamelion manages to grab the hair, bringing Jethro down in a spinning faceplant onto the Rumble logo center ring. Mark wipes at his face as he shakes his head and looks down at Jethro before shoving up to his feet with a look of revenge written on his face. Mark bounces off the ropes, baseball slide into Jethro's face rolls him over onto his back. Chamelion sits down onhis chest, pounding away with rights and lefts on Jethro's face until Jethro rolls him off and Mark continues the roll up to his feet. Jethro gets on his knees and forearms shaking his head from side to side before kneeling on one knee. Chamelion from the opposite side of the ring comes charging at Hayes.

Brian Rentfro: Picture perfect Shining Wizard from Chamelion there takes Jethro down!

Jon McDaniel: Jethro not looking so good here, at the moment.

Brian Rentfro: I wasn't aware that he ever looked good.

Mark gets up, before priming his leg for the Sweet Sound of Success and Jethro is obliging by slowly getting back up to his feet.

Brian Rentfro: Here is the end Jon!

Kick!

Jethro catches the foot at the end of the kick, right before it connects with his jaw!

Chamelion is stunned. Jethro pounds a fist right into his face and he continues holding the foot to keep Chamelion standing. Jethro pulls Chamelion forward right into a clothesline from himself sending Mark down onto the canvas this time. Jethro off the ropes, leaping into the air with a big time leg drop right across Chamelion's throat.

Jon McDaniel: Jethro on the offense here now.

Jethro pulls Chamelion up to a kneeling position before he slams his knee into Mark's face once, twice, and a final third time. Jethro lifts Chamelion up onto his right shoulder before snapping him onto the canvas with a running powerslam. Jethro is getting up a bit slower than earlier in the match, but that is to be expected after the punishment he's taken so far in this contest. Mark is sitting up slowly, shaking at his head. Jethro walks over pulling Mark up by the back of his neck. Chamelion with an elbow to his midsection, following it up with a second and third quick elbow shot has Jethro bent over at the waist. Mark up the ropes, flipping over Jethro driving him face first into the canvas with a springboard legdrop. Mark rolls Jethro over onto his back then kicks his arms together while tossing off his elbow pad to his left arm. Mark hits the ropes bounding over Jethro to the near ropes then springboarding back with a lionsault.

Jon McDaniel: Jethro moves! At the last second Jethro moves!

Brian Rentfro: That one, cost Chamelion there, but he'll come back.

Jethro up, holding at his midsection as Chamelion is holding at his as well. Jethro clotheslines Mark over the top to the outside and Dwayne Cross is trying to prevent Jethro from carrying this outside. Jethro off the ropes and Cross has no choice but to move out of the way. Chamelion looks up as Jethro comes flying over the top to land on him with his dive over the top rope plancha.

Brian Rentfro: That is like 600 pounds of gorilla coming down on top of you!

Jethro holds at his knee, but not for very long as he pulls Chamelion up, slamming his face into the ring apron before whipping him into the table at ringside. Jethro slams an elbow down into Chamelion's sternum before slamming him on top of the table.

Jon McDaniel: I think we'd better move Brian.

Brian doesn't say anything as he is already gone from the table. Jethro climbs up on top of the table with Chamelion, lifting him into his jacknife powerbomb position; the move he calls The Planter. Jethro lifts him up, adjusts for maximum damage.

*CRASH!*

Mark slips off the shoulders, slamming Jethro face first through the table with a very convincing counter to The Planter finisher from Jethro. Chamelion lays back gasping for breath for a moment before rolling over and pulling Jethro up to a seated position next to the railing. Chamelion stomps right into Jethro's face for good measure before turning and heading to the ring. Hayes reaches out catching Mark's ankle, but Chamelion spins around with a kick, Jethro avoids the heel of the boot. Mark falls to a seated position kicking at Jethro's hand releasing the hold on Mark's ankle. Jethro tries to pull himself up next to the railing while Chamelion isn't having as much trouble seeing as he didn't go face first through the table only a minute or so ago. Chamelion is up heading at Jethro with a running knee strike, but Jethro lifts him up and over to land feet first in the crowd. Jethro spins around, Mark comes flying over the railing with a leg, mostly knee, right into Jethro's face sending him stumbling back to the railing. Chamelion stands back up, looking at Jethro and ready to finish his match to rest up for the rumble.

Jon McDaniel: Fans? Um, I think we are back.

Still nothing from Rentfro as he is nowhere to be seen for the moment. Chamelion with a knife edge chop to the chest stings Jethro and gets the obligatory comment from the crowd. Jethro rounds the post, looking to catch a bit of a breather, but it is actually because his right knee buckles and he is down on the mat. Dwayne's count-out count is non existent as he is yet to reach one choosing instead to let these two fight it out and well, he just doesn't feel like counting right now. Chamelion rounds the corner, looking for a fake from Jethro and advances cautiously. Jethro stands up, hitting at his right knee before facing Chamelion once again on the outside of the ring. They come together with a collar and elbow on the outside, Chamelion using his speed to get in under Jethro into a rear waistlock. Chamelion knows he can't lift Jethro but instead jumps to the side and up onto Jethro's shoulders, thanks to their positioning and the ring apron's assistance. Chamelion with a tornado DDT attempt, but Jethro catches him before he can get it locked in and tosses him over the top rope back inside the ring. Jethro steps up onto the apron and through the middle rope to inside the ring. Mark rolls over to his knees and is back up to his feet very quickly. Jethro charges in, avoiding another Sweet Sound of Success and bouncing off the ropes. Mark spins around leaping over Jethro to land behind him spinning and trying to kick Jethro's legs out from under him. Jethro avoids the kick spinning to lock up with Chamelion; this time inside the ring. Jethro powers Mark back into the ropes, but Chamelion with a knee into Jethro's thigh causes the big man to stumble back from the sudden sharp pain. Jethro holds at his right thigh as Mark flies from the top rope with the point of his elbow extended for maximum effect.

Brian Rentfro: Well, now that we've got that... Chamelion with an elbow blow! Jon, why aren't you calling the match like it is happening?

Jon McDaniel: I wa...

Brian Rentfro: And you call me biast at least thirty-seven times a week. tsk tsk tsk

Jethro dives forward with a spear attempt, but Mark nails him in the back with the elbow rolling over and up to his feet. Jethro spins around and Mark lashes out with the Sweet Sound of Success.

Jethro ducks under the kick, slamming his head and shoulder right into Mark's breadbasket with The Plow!

Jon McDaniel: The Plow!

Chamelion folds up, his eyes closed and out of breath. Jethro makes the cover, hooking te leg as they fall.

One!

Two!

Three!

Ding! Ding!

Eric Emerson: Winner of the match... Jethro Hayes!

RUMBLE IN THE BRONX

RUMBLE IN THE BRONX


Lisa Seldon: That’s right; I’m here for the whole thing.

Upon hearing this, Brian Rentfro abandons the announce desk and goes off in search of the nearest bar, leaving McDaniel to suffer her various “hilarious” comments alone. He holds out a hand as he watches him go.

Jon McDaniel: Well… I guess this is going to be great fun.

Lisa Seldon: Actually no I’m having a terrible day. I’m pretty sure there’s a guy out here who wants to stab me in the eyes, and there’s lot of bad memories and shit, so all my jokes are probably going to be hollow and sad.

Jon McDaniel: Can’t wait.

Lisa Seldon: I’m also thinking about having a very long rant about my various issues with the wrestling industry, discussing how, when we say it’s just business, what we mean is it’s just business as long as we’re not the one’s getting hurt.

Jon McDaniel: Like razors to my brain. A fantastic start to my day.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Rumble in the Bronx Match.

It gets a good reception, from the fans, forcing Emerson to talk over them.

Eric Emerson: Now, let us all find out who drew number 1.

“Till I Collapse” by Eminem kicks in.

Lisa Seldon: Tough break Blazenthing.

Jon McDaniel: Oh I don’t know, I can think of one guy who went in at number one and won the whole thing. Then went on to become HiC World Champion.

Lisa Seldon: Then he lost it back in a scaffolding match but no one ever remembers that one.

Jon McDaniel: I thought that was a draw.

Lisa Seldon: I remember it better than you.

Blazenwing tag a few hands on the way to the ring.

Eric Emerson: Now, the man who drew number 2.

“Heart of Stone” by Europe takes over. Xavier Starks charges the ring, fist pumping away.

Lisa Seldon: Xavier Starks there. Former… I don’t know, he’s a Thunderwolf guy and they can all suck it.

Jon McDaniel: Former competitor of Lost Generation Wrestling.

Lisa Seldon: The tacky AoWF federation on the Spice channel.

Jon McDaniel: Yes. I believe he was an LGW Television Champion once.

Lisa Seldon: I had an NGW title once.

Jon McDaniel: I said LGW.

Lisa Seldon: I didn’t.

Xavier slides into the ring, lets out a battle cry and then lets David Blazenwing rearrange the order of his teeth by walking right into a Superkick. Xavier goes belly up and takes up residence on the mat.

Lisa Seldon: Well… that did make me feel a little better.

David Blazenwing does his best to peel Starks off the canvas but he’s very clearly dead to the world. A kick in the side doesn’t help things at all.

Jon McDaniel: Starting strong so far.

Lisa Seldon: Time to speed up this up.

After a few seconds a count down hits your screen, reaches zero and brings "Satori, Part Two" by the Flower Travellin' Band into the speakers.

Lisa Seldon: Here comes some meat.

The fans simmer as a relative unknown makes his way to the ring. All the same they can’t help but be taken a back at the man’s size.

Jon McDaniel: A surprise entrant this year, that’s Kazuma Tsuruga, a former True Glory Wrestling World Champion; a federation which I believed was started by our very own Gabe Shelley.

Lisa Seldon: Yeah, his name is Fat Jap. That sound a little racist, but he’s a four hundred, five pound man from Japan, so I don’t really fee bad. I think Teresa broke his head or something, but I guess he got over it.

Kazuma slides as gracefully as a large, greasy man can and takes a few clobbering blows to the back from Blazenwing. Dave then puts him against the ropes and prepares to send him across the ring, but Kazuma holds his ground and sends him in his place, catching Blazenwing with a Flapjack and Faceplant on the return. Blazenwing gets off the mat holding his nose and stumbles into the corner. Kazuma then pushes him into the buckles and puts an elbow into his face.

Lisa Seldon: What are we doing bringing a guy this big out here anyway. If he plans on sticking this match out we’re going to end up with the Rumble’s first heart attack, not to mention a rather big sweat patch on the ring and probably an international incident.

Jon McDaniel: I’m sure he knows the kinda pace he can keep.

Lisa Seldon: What do you think his shirt feels like after a match? Eew I bet it’s gross already.

Blazenwing scrambles across the mat to escape by Kazuma stalks after him, stepping onto an over the prone body of Starks before landing on Blazenwing again with a Double Axe-Handle Smash. He then gets Blazenwing by the back of the head but takes a few shots to the gut in the process. Blazenwing then tackles him back to the ropes as the counter turns up again.

Jon McDaniel: Here comes number four.

"Time for a lil' Southern Justice"

Lisa Seldon: Finally this match can start.

The crowd get to their feet as Jethro jogs down to the ring and joins Blazenwing in trying to put the big man over the ropes.

Jon McDaniel: So… anything to say about the rumour that if Jethro fails tonight you’ll have his head on the chopping block?

Lisa Seldon: I hardly think the ramblings of a bitter old hag qualify as rumour since no one else is circulating or paying her any attention. But no, I’m not going to turn on Jethro for no reason at all. For one, he doesn’t actually have anything I’d want to take.

Jethro gets one massive Tsuruga tree trunk like leg over the ropes while Blazenwing tries to do the same, but even together the two can’t manage to topple the big man, and after a few moments of struggle he gets his bearings back and puts a finger into Jehtro’s eye and an elbow into Blazenwing’s back.

Jon McDaniel: Looks like it’s gonna take a little more than just two men to put Kazuma over the ropes.

Lisa Seldon: Maybe they wanna wake up Billy Idol there and see if he can lend a hand.

Kazuma Gets his hands on Jethro and violently whips him into the corner. He then prepares to charge him down but Jethro fires back of the buckles and runs full tilt into Kazuma, Spearing him in the gut and running him back into a corner of his own. Kazuma looks winded as he gets sandwiched against the buckles, but Jethro isn’t quite done and holds his ground, dropping to a knee to give Blazenwing a step up to put a knee through Kazuma’s jaw.

Jon McDaniel: Howling Thunder from David Blazenwing. And isn’t it something to see these two working together after the hell they put each other through at War Games.

Lisa Seldon: I give it thirty seconds. Kazuma stumbles forward and takes an Enzugiri to the back of the head from Blazenwing and a Chop Block from Jethro that puts him on the mat. The two then get back to their feet and waste no time turning on one another as they begin throwing lefts and rights. The counter turns up again.

Lisa Seldon: Damn, five seconds off my gonna turn on each other because it’s every man for himself count.

Blazenwing throws a Superkick that misses the mark while the counter touches to zero. Techies roll the JBHB out from the back, and they begin to play the jazzy version of "Slaughterama" by GWAR.

Lisa Seldon: This is about to get stupid.

Jon McDaniel: Seems like we’re there already.

Robert Greenberg slides out from behind the curtain, and the fans go berserk. He smiles at the overwhelmingly positive reaction, and looks down at the ring. He catches a glimpse of Lisa Seldon and winks in her general direction.

Robert Greenberg: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GERMS! I AM ONE RUDE, CRUDE DUDE WITH A ROCK-AND-ROLL ATTITUDE! ROBERT -- Look at these losers, crowding the ring! Aren't they aware that Duff will be king? By the end of the night, it'll be a sure thing; and I'll make sure that Seldon's bell will certainly ring -- GREENBERG!

The crowd cheers, and Lisa can be heard rolling her eyes.

Jon McDaniel: Why are your eyes so loud?

Lisa Seldon: Practice.

Dave shoots another Full Effect Superkick but Jethro catches this one and pushes up under his leg for a Powerbomb. Dave latches on though and throws him with a Hurricanrana.

Robert Greenberg: TONIGHT'S GUESTS... A RING-FULL OF JABRONIES LOOKING TO BE SLAUGHTERED BY THE ONE... THE ONLY... DUFF-MAAAN!!!

With that, the band continues playing "Slaughterama" and Duff-Man emerges from the back, dressed in black-and-green tights and his blue-and-white pinstriped jacket. His hair is slicked back and he looks out at the adoring crowd. He blows kisses, waves, and shakes their hands. He hands his $10 sunglasses to an old lady, and he's only midway down the ramp.

Lisa Seldon: This is totally going to eat into all the valuable Kalis time we have for the night.

Jon McDaniel: Such blasphemy.

Back in the ring, Jethro and Dave scramble to their feet with Jethro firing first with a Clothesline that Dave briskly slides under to secure a Waistlock. Jethro fires back an Elbow but Blazenwing ducks it and holds on, allowing him to prep Jethro for a Northern Lights Suplex. Blazenwing gets him off the mat but an Elbow to the back of the head grounds him again, allowing Jethro to snap back and drive Blazenwing into the mat with a DDT.

Lisa Seldon: Blazenwing is down, Jethro is down, Fat Jap is having a coronary and Xavier Starks is waiting for this match to end so someone can peel his ass off the mat. Oh yeah and Duff is still working through his fucking intro.

The band is interrupted by techno-esque video game music, and Duff's huge smile fades as he looks up the ramp. Ash Nukem shoves by him and makes a beeline for the ring. Duff tackles him from behind, slamming his head off of the apron at a sickening angle, and begins pummeling him just outside of the ring.

Duff Cote d’Ivore: NOBODY INTERRUPTS MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!

Duff wipes his boot on the back of Nukem's head, and slides into the ring.

Jon McDaniel: Least he’s ready for action.

Lisa Seldon: Is the show still on?

Duff goes after Jethro first, tackling him to the mat and wailing on him with a few punches. He then gets him up and puts him to the ropes, causing everyone else to clear a path as Jethro comes tearing through. Duff then runs in close behind and hits a Shoulderblock that puts Jethro out to the apron, though only over the second rope. Duff then reaches out to get him but leaves himself open for David Blazenwing to sneak up behind and top him over.

Lisa Seldon: I was going to say something about him lasting less time than his ring entrance, but considering how it was that’s not much of a surprise.

Duff teeters over but he manages to hang his legs around the ropes to prevent Blazenwing sending him any further. Dave pounds away with fists to the back but it’s clear he’s going nowhere, leading to Jethro ending it with a Forearm to the face of Blazenwing to give him a chance to get back in the ring.

Jon McDaniel: Jethro making the save for Duff.

Lisa Seldon: Or trying to muscle his way back in, but whatever.

Duff drops back into the ring and goes after Kazuma as the buzzer appears again.

Jon McDaniel: Time for number 7.

"Sympathy for the Devil" by Guns N' Roses gets a great reaction, but what they believed to be a returning Matthew Engel turns out instead to be a team of particularly ugly teens lead to the ring by a woman with heavily sagging breasts, a sizeable mole and a harelip for good measure. And just to continue the confusion, they all appear to be wearing white t-shirts with Engel written across the front. There’s also one in a wheelchair, which is an important part of the joke.

Jon McDaniel: I don’t even -

Lisa Seldon: Guess these are all the masses of Engel kids we heard about. But why is Enika entering to the Virus’ music?

Jon McDaniel: Duff write your jokes tonight too?

Lisa Seldon: After that one I hope so.

Team Engel swarm the ring and immediately go after Duff, pushing him into one corner than whipping him across to the other. Big Momma Engel (according to her shirt which we’re now getting a better view of) then lines up the troops and sends them across the ring, each landing a Clothesline before Big Momma Engel finishes the series with a Splash. Then for good measure Ash Nukem gets in on the deal and scores a running Dropkick onto duff for good measure.

Jon McDaniel: Ash finally hits the ring and gets some pay back. By the way, did you set this up or did he?

Lisa Seldon: I don’t know. I book a lot of shit though so this could easily have been my idea of a funny. I think I was wrong.

Duff staggers out of the corner and into a Double Hip-Toss from two Engels before eating Elbow Drops from two more. The clan then drag him up off the mat once more and push him to the ropes to begin throwing punches. The then send him across the ring and follow very close behind with something like a 6 person Clothesline than Duff ducks right out of. The Engel family then turn around and get surprised, as do we all, but Xavier Starks, who has regained consciousness just long enough to throw himself into the sea of Engels, taking them and himself out over the top-rope.

Lisa Seldon: Well… he had a good run.

Jon McDaniel: He spent most of his time knocked out, only to rise back up and dizzily staggering into a group of comedy extras.

Lisa Seldon: That’ll easily be a career highlight for the guy. Right up there with a win over Jose Gonzales.

Every Engel but Big Momma Engel finds their way to the floor while she stands up from the relative safety of the apron. Unfortunately she turns around into the less safe grasp of Duff, who grabs her by the head and runs her into the ring post. She leans back and looks to fall, but not before Duff grabs her by the head, pulls her in and sinks his teeth into her face.

Lisa Seldon: Seems less like a bad idea now.

The audience squeal as Duff rips off a chunk and spits it into the air. She then topples backwards off the ring apron, crushing the wheelchair bound Engel beneath her for good measure. Various referees and EMTs appear to deal with the mess.

Lisa Seldon: Yeah I’m claiming that one. I set that in motion.

Duff mouths something about how much vinegar she much bathe in, wipes some blood off his face and totally takes his eye off the ball and Ash catches him with a Clothesline that sends him over the top. The crowd let out a cry as he goes over but he manages to hang on and quickly jump to his feet. Ash then shoots for the adjacent ropes and springs to the second, only for Duff to clobber him in the back with a Clothesline of his own that puts Ash out to the apron himself. The counter jumps down the seconds again.

Jon McDaniel: The only good thing about this is no one who appears next is going to be able to top the absolute absurdity of what we just witnessed.

Charlie Scene’s music kicks in.

Lisa Seldon: That was magical.

Charlie Scene stalks down the ramp way and circles the ring. He then slides in at one corner and immediately back out. He then snatches up a chair and places it ring in front of the commentary position, where he sits watching the ring.

Jon McDaniel: Well… that’s a thing.

Lisa Seldon: I guess as Kalis’ hired goon, he’s going to wait for someone he’s been hired to goon on. That or this hideous Nu-Metal looking man child has latched onto a devastating plan to victory.

Jon McDaniel: And yet, no one has or likely will ever win doing this.

Lisa Seldon: All that said, I’m very disappointed he’s not throwing rabbits at people or attacking them with heroin needles.

Jon McDaniel: Give it time. It’s the first rumble under your control so I’m sure there’s plenty of stupid left.

Back at the ring, Duff and Nukem begin trading blows over the ropes while Blazenwing makes a go of putting Jethro on the floor. This leaves Kazuma free to charge across the ring and throw lumber at Duff and Ash. To their credit though they both manage to duck and strike hard in the gut to double him over.

Jon McDaniel: Both men narrowly avoiding defeat.

Ash then sees a golden opportunity to interject himself and springs over the ropes, off the back of Kazuma and into a Leaping Enzugiri on Duff that cracks the back of his skull but sadly brings him back into the ring rather than out. Ash then charges Kazuma and runs right into a barrel fisted right hand that sprawls him across the canvas. Kazuma isn’t done though and latches onto Ash with one hand to his throat, dragging him back to his feet.

Lisa Seldon: Game over man! Game over!

Kazuma jerks Ash off the mat and sends him over the ropes, but Ash locks both legs around the man’s arm and refuses to let go, almost pulling Kazuma with him. Kazuma hangs precariously over the ropes, while doing his best to break Ash’s grip. This leaves him open for Duff, who comes up from behind, sweeps a leg off the mat and topples the already unbalanced man over the ropes and to the floor. Thankfully for Ash he lost his grip in the process, allowing him to slip back under the bottom rope to safety.

Jon McDaniel: And now Kazuma Tsuruga is out of the game.

Lisa Seldon: Duff taking names thus far if we’re also counting Big Momma Engel… which I suppose you’re not.

Jon McDaniel: I’m already planning on making this night a right off.

Across the ring Blazenwing has Jethro suspended across the ropes in the corner trying to tip him out from underneath. Duff then joins in, but instead goes after Blazenwing and puts him to the outside. The lock appears again as Duff tries to slide Blazenwing off the apron.

Jon McDaniel: Number 9 coming now.

Some Puff Daddy jumps up the speakers.

Lisa Seldon: Forty plus white male pimping the Puff Daddy in 2011. Time for everyone watching to take a piss break.

Chamelion jogs down the ramp and slips around the ring, going completely undetected by David Blazenwing who has now just fought off Duff. Unnoticed that is until Chamelion grabs him by the leg and drags him to the floor. He then slips into the ring before Blazenwing even knows what’s going on.

Lisa Seldon: Most devious player in the whatever or something.

Referees hold Blazenwing back as he watches Chamelion slink in and go right after Jethro with a flurry of strikes. Blazenwing is then lead away by a team of referees, but he breaks away rather suddenly and hits the ring once again, running right through the crowd and into Chamelion with a Clothesline that sends him up and over the ropes.

Jon McDaniel: Whoa.

Lisa Seldon: Second most devious apparently.

Both Chamelion and Blazenwing are swarmed by officials. Blazenwing is lead from the ring while Chamelion looks back to the ring, watching as Jethro Hayes gleefully waves him off. Chamelion accepts his defeat, but not before getting with Blazenwing and trading a few fists.

Lisa Seldon: Looks like the most devious SOB doesn’t like it when other SOBs are also in someway devious.

Jon McDaniel: This is going to get heated.

Lisa Seldon: I can’t wait for their in ring segment next week where they both try and be the first to Superkick the other so you can talk about how snake in the grass like they are.

Chamelion and Blazenwing are dragged from the scene, leaving Jethro to take an Axe Handle to the back, before he in turn gets clobbered by Ash. The count starts again.

Lisa Seldon: Little spotty kid really isn’t letting that go is he?

Jon McDaniel: Would you?

Lisa Seldon: I’d never let that guy touch me for one.

Dragon Storm 2007 picks up.

Lisa Seldon: Big bogie coming up.

Cody Bogard makes a dive for the ring and picks up the attack on Duff, pushing him to the corner and scoring a series of kicks in the ribs. Ash tries to sneak up on him but Bogard ducks out of the way, letting him collide with Duff in the corner. He turns around and eats a Clothesline that seals the deal.

Jon McDaniel: Bogard hits the ring and is cleaning up.

Lisa Seldon: Catch ya later, Ash!

Bogard snaps a back elbow into Duff and then charges across the ring to bury a running Yakuza Kick between the eyes of Jethro Hayes. He then launches himself back at Duff, but he steps out of the corner and catches Bogard in a cradle and then snaps him over his knee.

Jon McDaniel: Cradle Backbreaker from Duff.

Lisa Seldon: Possibly one of the first wrestling moves of the match.

Jon McDaniel: I know, I get bored in these trying to fancy up punches and so was just gonna let you go crazy.

Lisa Seldon: That’s a challenge I can win.

Duff tosses Bogard aside and gets up just quick enough to eat a Big Boot from Jethro. He then takes a second on the ropes before sticking Duff with a stomp. By the time the clock returns he’s already dragging him back to his feet.

Jon McDaniel: Let’s make it a fifth!

“Today... my name... is pain...”

Lisa Seldon: The one thing about her that’s true is the opening to her intro.

Riona slides into the ring and misses that Charlie Scene does the same, right until the point that he tackles her to the mat and begins reigning fits about her face.

Lisa Seldon: The gooning begins.

Charlie draws blood off a right hand but Langly manages to get the sweep and end up on top, scoring with Elbows. He goes back on it though and then over again, trading position and fists on the mat until Duff grabs her by the back of the head and up to her feet. She turns and blasts him full in the face before being kicked in the back by Charlie Scene, putting her on the mat.

Lisa Seldon: I talk a lot of shit on Charlie Scene for being possibly the worst thing in the PWA. Making us look like a low rent boarding house for the mentally ill, and I kinda wish he would go die in a fire.

Jon McDaniel: Say what you mean.

Lisa Seldon: Tonight though, he’s gaining a fan.

Charlie pulls Riona back to her feet and lets Duff dig a vicious right hand into her ribs. She then drops to the mat coughing and eats a kick in the mouth from Scene. Duff then goes to pick her back up but Jethro of all people makes the save with a Clothesline to the back of the head while Bogard takes out Scene with a Koppu Kick.

Jon McDaniel: Of all the people to come to her aid.

The four pair off as Langly gets back to her feet, chooses her options and then rushes Duff with a Flying Elbow Strike. Charlie Scene then breaks away from Bogard but runs into a Roaring Elbow that rearranges his teeth. Riona then turns and lands a kick on Duff and spins him around into an Inverted Facelock, but Jethro grabs her from behind, hooks up and tosses her with a German Suplex. Cody Bogard runs up and lands a kick to her chest as the counter appears again.

Jon McDaniel: The ring is starting to fill up again.

Arc Arsenal pours out of the speakers.

Lisa Seldon: Now it’s a party.

Teresa gets attacked by Charlie Scene on the way in and then backed into the ropes. He then prepares to whip her across the ring but Teresa pulls back on it and launches into a flip, bringing her heels crashing down on his skull.

Lisa Seldon: The Compass Rose, and she knocks him stupid.

Charlie staggers back and Teresa jumps up into a clinch, putting knees all over him before jumping up for the finish, but Charlie blocks a leaping knee and then kicks out her legs. Teresa goes to a knee and Bogard jumps right over him, putting Charlie on his back with a Leaping Roundhouse. Cody then pulls Teresa to her feet and pushes her back to the ropes with a series of open hand strikes. He then rocks her with a Back Elbow and runs to the ropes, but Teresa runs in right behind him and catches him with a Yakuza Kick right up through the jaw, toppling him over the ropes.

Lisa Seldon: A big fuck you to her former Team PWA partner right there.

Teresa turns around just in time to dodge a flying knee from Scene, but he saves himself from going to far. The two then torn around and throw a duelling set of kicks, step back and then get blindsided by Jethro who puts them both down with a Double Clothesline. Teresa hits the mat and Scene falls into the ropes, setting Jethro up with a chance to take him out. The counter returns as Jethro gets Charlie up on the ropes with Langly moving in to help.

I Hear The Voices by Uriah Heep.

Jon McDaniel: and here comes Bobby Lee. Our first Rebel Pro import of the night.

Lisa Seldon: I can’t bury this guy anymore than he does himself.

Bobby Lee runs into the ring and essentially spazzes out on the competition, throwing hits at anyone nearby. This leaves him fighting Duff and pushing him into the ropes with a series of Windmill punches. Duff tries to block but a few get through and continue to do so until Teresa puts a foot upside his head. This leaves him leaning over duff and allows him to get under and push Bobby up, back tossing him over the top-rope but only to the apron.

Jon McDaniel: Almost one of our quickest eliminations of the night.

Duff and Teresa lock up, allowing bobby to slide back under the ropes. Meanwhile Charlie finally manages to get Riona and Jethro off of him with a few well placed shots. Riona staggers away but Jethro carries on the attack with a Clothesline that misses, allowing Scene to get setup behind him and launch into a Backfliping Knee that he digs straight into Jethro’s chest. Charlie then bounds up and throws a flying knee at Riona, but she lands behind him with a Half Nelson, and uses the momentum to bring him over with the Suplex, crashing him down on the back of his head.

Jon McDaniel: Charlie takes out Jethro but then Riona buries him in return.

Lisa Seldon: Not quite.

The countdown returns as Charlie rolls over to his knees and fights through the pain long enough to jump up and through a hard rushing knee between the eyes of Riona, splattering her across the mat while he falls down beside her. Meanwhile Duff manages to get Teresa off him with a thumb to the eyes, allowing him to go back to working on Jethro.

Jon McDaniel: Number 14.

Whatever the hell song it is that Scotty Snow enters too takes over and brings him running through the curtains.

Lisa Seldon: Some more cannonfodder it seems.

Jon McDaniel: Anyone would think you lined up a ton of guys like this just to pad the numbers.

Lisa Seldon: Me? Never.

Scotty bypasses several on going confrontations and sets his sights on Teresa Quaranta, having not yet forgotten what she did to him at the last show. Teresa is still rubbing her eyes, unaware of Scotty looming over her.

Lisa Seldon: Uh-oh, Teresa is about to be attacked by a guy with no chance in taking her. Whatever will she do.

Jon McDaniel: Hurt him really badly would be my guess.

Scotty thinks about hitting her for everything she did to him. However, on remembering how painful those moments were, he starts to think better of it. Then he stops thinking altogether. This all happens in the split second it takes for Teresa to take notice of him and rip through his skull with a knee. He then falls back to the ropes and makes it a very easy job toppling him over. Thus ending another recording setting rumble time for him.

Jon McDaniel: Teresa snatches the quickest elimination thus far.

Lisa Seldon: At absolutely no seconds what so ever.

Teresa then sets about landing a few kicks on Bobby Lee as he fights back with punches. Across the way Duff is down and Jethro has Riona up and across his chest, trying to dump her out. He gets her over the ropes but not before Charlie Scene sneaks in behind and trips a leg, sending him over to. Riona holds on though and so does Jethro, allowing both of them to land on the apron.

Jon McDaniel: Charlie about to score two.

Charlie Scene lands some kicks on Riona, allowing Jethro to recover. Scene then turns on Jethro allowing Riona to do the same and getting them both standing on the apron. Scene controls both of them at first but a series of rights from Jethro and Riona stun him, allowing both of them to hook up a Facelook and get him off the mat.

Jon McDaniel: Double Suplex to the floor!

Charlie Scene kicks wildly to keep himself in while he claws at the two of them to let go. Finally they do and he lands on his feet before rushing into a Dropkick on both that they each manage to deflect. Jethro then tries to move back through the ropes but Riona blasts him with an Elbow and then trips him to the mat. She then jumps into the ring, hits the ropes and fires back for the big finish, but Bobby Lee cuts her off with a huge Shouldertackle that ragdolls her across the ring. The count starts again as Jethro slides back in and Charlie finds his feet.

Jon McDaniel: Jethro hangs on meaning we’re about to add a seventh.

"Slip It In" by Black Flag brings Marina Blue out to the ring as all the competitors meet up. She hits the apron bunt instead of sliding in she jumps up onto the ropes and rips off a turn into a Corkscrew Moonsault, wiping out Jethro and Teresa in the process. She then ducks just in time to avoid another hit from Bobby Lee and then crushes him with a Dropkick. She then jumps again, this time to avoid a Yakuza Kicks from Langly. This then sends her into Charlie Scene, who manages to side step Langly, grab her by the head and put her over the ropes.

Lisa Seldon: C ya!

Riona hits the floor but only with one foot as she hangs onto the rope.

Jon McDaniel: Riona skins the cat.

Lisa Seldon: I hear she does that as a hobby. Along with various other things that would ruin her public image.

Riona jumps back up and runs up behind Charlie, grabbing him by the back of the head and charging him out of the ring. Charlie holds on though and Riona struggles with him, prompting Jethro Hayes to help her out, buy sending both of them to the floor.

Jon McDaniel: What?

Lisa Seldon: BOOM!

Riona and Scene hit the floor in a heap. Riona is up first and trying to get back to swing a punch at Riona, but this time the referees are ready stop her. Not to mention Charlie Scene, who jumps up and smashes her into the ring apron. The clock returns as he stomps away.

Lisa Seldon: Rumble is better everything is better.

Jon McDaniel: Not a fan?

Lisa Seldon: No, I just don’t want my big main event of the year wasted on another opponent whole roll over and die.

"Rockbox" by Run DMC hits as Simon Kalis steps out from behind the curtains to a chorus of boos, and everyone in the ring turns their attention towards him for the moment.

Lisa Seldon: Yeah for that guy. Hope he wins.

Kalis is in a black and gold Brioni pinstripe suit, with the PWA World title slung over his shoulder as he swaggers down to the ring. He blows a kiss to Riona Langly and taps the title as she grits her teeth in anger. Kalis smacks Charlie Scene upside the head for being eliminated and slides into the ring. He extends his arms out, smiling at Teresa and Jethro Hayes. He high fives Duff Man and scoffs at Bobby Lee and Marina Blue as he walks right across the ring and hops over the top rope to the outside, eliminating himself.

Lisa Seldon: And look at how quick Simon gets to work! He's already got an elimination in the match!

Jon McDaniel: On himself.

Lisa Seldon: Yes, in the second quickest elimination of the night. What a trooper, what a champ.

Jon McDaniel: Didn’t you eliminate yourself in one of these.

Lisa Seldon: It’s the mark of a champion.

Simon walks over to the announcers table, and grabs McDaniel and pushes him aside and grabs his headseat.

Simon Kalis: The Man is in the building, ladies and gentlemen.

Lisa Seldon: So, what's up Kalis? How's running a country? Keep you busy?

Simon Kalis: Ugh. I may as well dispel those rumours now. That news story you may've heard about Kalistan is a farce, a complete and utter hoax and joke. I had nothing to do with that.

The competitors in the ring square back off. Duff and Jethro get back to work on one another while Marina and Bobby Lee try to put Teresa on the floor.

Lisa Seldon: So, I'm not going to get sued by a bunch of angry Eskimos? Because I need all my money to buy giant champagne glasses and gunz spelt with z's.

Simon Kalis: Nope, no Eskimo lawsuits. And if you want my personal recommendation, First Class Felony E-Legal enterprises has a new line of Tek Ninez. Not to be confused with Tech Nines, ours have Z's on'em.

Lisa Seldon: I'll need it to deal with all the rapists and Nazis.

Simon Kalis: And Riona Langly.

Teresa fights free from Marina and Bobby by clonking their heads together. Jethro meanwhile goes about working Duff with shoulders to the gut.

Lisa Seldon: I don't know what you're talking about. I wouldn't even waste a big time Genesis main event on finally ungluing her lips from my ass and pulling them up over her face.

Simon Kalis: Yeah, really. Who'd wanna see Lisa Seldon versus Riona Langly at Genesis live at St. Louis, Missourri.

Marvin turns on Lee and begins throwing kicks about his ribs. She then springs off the second and Dropkicks him in the face, sending him reeling back into the ropes, completely off balance.

Lisa Seldon: I know she wouldn't.

Bobby Lee hits the floor right in front of the announce desk. The counter returns.

Simon Kalis: Back to the garbage dump in the south he goes.

Lisa Seldon: The Alien’s glorious leader has been cheated from his win. We're all doomed.

Simon Kalis: Don't worry. Tin foil and duct tape shall be our deliverance.

“Firefly” by Breaking Benjamin hits, causing Duff to immediately stop what he’s doing.

Simon Kalis: Another woman Dustin Kelser has banged enters the match.

Lisa Seldon: You could fill a rumble with his Whorem, but it would just be a collection of bratty backstabbing bitches trying to bang hicks and recover from STDs.

Enika jogs to the ring and arrives just in time to meet Duff coming the other way, having just jumped over the top rope. They exchange a look until Enika blows him off and slides under the bottom rope, going right after Duff.

Simon Kalis: Since you've basically rejected me, you think I got a chance with Enika?

Lisa Seldon: Probably; but do we really need anymore Engels running around? Got enough of those already.

Simon Kalis: Not to mention, any child born of an Engel-Kalis affair would be one fucked up kid.

Enika gets the upperhand and pushes Jethro back to the ropes. She then rushes into a strike that almost gets her taken out as she goes over his shoulder. Enika hangs on as Jethro tries to lean her out of the ring.

Lisa Seldon: So, who you got here?

Simon Kalis: Well... I think Teresa would rather strangle me than bang me. I'd like to hit up Enika but she's married like you right? I think I could probably bang Marina, since she's a porn star and she once mentioned my dick in a promo of hers. Then there's Meghan... Young and white like Marina, but probably much tighter. Mmmhmmm... I'd love a piece of that ass. What'd you think, Lisa?

Marina joins in with a few body blows on Jethro before Teresa drops her from behind.

Lisa Seldon: I think I’d watch that video out of morbid curiosity but then never be able to enjoy an Oreo again. What about Jaice though? I hear he goes extreme.

Simon Kalis: Yeah. Right. I'll put a bullet in that Brazilian midgets head if he comes at me like that.

The shots are enough to get Jethro off his grip, and Enika drops back into the ring and sinks him with a kick. Enika then follows up with a series of knees before turning around, just as Teresa launches Marina toward her. Enika ducks and leans back, dropping her onto the apron as the clock returns.

Lisa Seldon: What about in a match though.

Simon Kalis: Probably the same thing.

Welcome to the Masquerade by Thousand Foot Krutch brings Marxx out onto the ramp.

Lisa Seldon: So what about Marxx for a rumble winner. Think you could take him?

Simon Kalis: Sure. I can take anyone who wins this thing. This whole match is designed to see who's going to get the honor of losing to me at Genesis, after all.

Marxx charges the ring as Marina gets back on her feet. Enika tries to finish the job but Jethro takes her down to the mat, leaving Teresa to clean up. Marina has her wits about her though and manages to score a Shoulderblock through the ropes. She then flips over the ropes, rolling backwards over Teresa and leaping into the air as Marxx steps up in front of her. She catches him around the head and flips into a Hurricanrana.

Lisa Seldon: Enika? Teresa? Jethro? Wood? There's a lot of talent in there... despite all the comedy Engels, anal-probed veterans and Ryan Ross' I used to pad it out.

Marina lands on top and gets a stiff kick down the spine from Teresa for her trouble.

Simon Kalis: You want my honest opinion? Enika is the only one I haven't really faced. Or at least the only person of importance I haven't faced, and I've beaten everyone else.

Teresa pushes Marina into the ropes and tries to send her over, along with Marxx who tries to give her a hand. Across the ring Enika is seated on the top-ropes and taking punches from Jethro until she manages to kick him off.

Simon Kalis: Teresa and Jethro would make good matches for me, I'm sure Teresa wants that rematch with me regardless. Her pride got hurt, she thinks she's the best thing to hit the PWA since Simon Kalis. She probably is, but this bald headed cheese eating motherfucker got one on her. Other than that. Enika would be fun, if only cause I've never faced her before.

Enika leaps off the second rope and smashes him with a Double Stomp on the top of the head before hitting the mat.

Lisa Seldon: Cheese a big thing for you then?

Simon Kalis: Let’s put it this way. If anyone really wants to get rid of me? If they can make cheese disappear off the face of the planet, I'll kill myself the next day. That's the secret to ending Simon Kalis.

Enika then turns around and rips a kick up through Jethro’s spine.

Lisa Seldon: Can't wait to see that added to the stip. Along with the bear traps and alligators you'll likely be using to ruin my big main event of the year.

Simon Kalis: To be fair, piranhas and scorpions had been done before. Don't see why the PWA denied my request, sure you had something to do with it though.

Marina Blue goes over the rope but back in through the second. Teresa takes the huff and throws an elbow at Marxx

Lisa Seldon: That Marina is very slippery. Must be all the lube and slack orifices secreting fluid without her control. Anyway, I didn't want your retarded ass dying from spiderbites or whatever and force me to put another main event on Langly.

Simon Kalis: Point taken and noted. No one wants that again. Ever.

Marxx gets Teresa leaning over the ropes while Marina slips away. The clock returns.

Simon Kalis: Another victim coming up.

The countdown buzzer hits zero and a dissonant chord flows through the PA system, followed by low, chugging notes, and repeated in that order until Randal Blythe's voice screams out.

++ I'll cut the words from your mouth ++
++ You'll never speak my name again. ++
++ Locked up and sold the fuck out ++
++ Don't think you won't see me again. ++

The Redeemer emerges from behind the curtain, and the crowd rises to greet him. He wears red and black tights, and bone armour over his chest. Teresa gets her feet back on the mat just long enough to say something witty that we can’t hear.

++ It'll come back three times ++
++ Once in the name of deceit ++
++ Twice for your malice ++
++ Three times when I take you away. ++

He doesn't pay any mind to the crowd surrounding him as he removes his red-and-black cape, and tosses it to one of the production crew at ringside. He stops just short of the ring. He's burning a hole through Enika Engel with hatred in his eyes.

++ This is a homicide daydream ++
++ I won't waste my hate on you. ++
++ All that you've claimed not to be ++
++ Has now come to define you. ++

Lisa Seldon: This guy got a bigger entrance budget than you. Twice. How’s that feel.

Simon Kalis: Like you haven’t seen anything tonight.

Lisa Seldon: I’m begging for some white doves, artificial rain, hippos and a handglider malfunction.

++ It'll come back three times ++
++ Once in the name of regret ++
++ Twice for your envy ++
++ Three times when I take you away. ++

A few deep breaths, and he dives into the ring and after Enika who is still trading hands with Jethro. She turns to meet him and throws a few punches, but can’t stop the takedown that puts her on her back.

Lisa Seldon: Look at that, the guy who’s entire thing is offending people got his feelings hurt.

Jethro offers to help Enika, but then says something about not being Sirus Moran and instead goes off to slam Marina to the mat. Marxx has Teresa backed into the corner and putting Elbow strikes onto the back of her head. Jethro then gets Marina up on his shoulder and carries her to the ropes, but misses the sudden arrival of Blake Witcroft, running through the fans.

Lisa Seldon: The British are coming!

Blake slides in, charges them down and grabs Marina by the leg to drag her back down. Jethro turns and gets a mouth full of head in a way he doesn’t particularly care for. Jethro thrashes backwards and Blake smashes him with a Clothesline that takes both of them out of the ring.

Lisa Seldon: Goal!

Simon Kalis: What'd ya know. The guy with bad teeth and an accent just fucked over another guy with bad teeth and an accent. This is what has become of Jethro's career since he tried stepping to me. Sad, really.

Lisa Seldon: What, you invaded the colonies and kidnapped illiterate brit soccer hooligans to fight your hillbilly enemies?

Jethro doesn’t waste his time acting surprised and scores a fist on Blake. He gives it right back and the two brawl up the isleway, with Jethro throwing Blake wrong and running after, only to get hurled long in the process. Officals swarm.

Simon Kalis: I don't need to invade anything. The Order of Chaos HQ is in London, England actually. Surprising factoid! Besides, all I hear is that you're going to fuck Jethro over if he doesn't win this. You could always sell him to me. Trade him for Scene or something.

Lisa Seldon: Hey I just needed him to snap a Sommers for a chance to punch you in the face. considering that, I think we're in a good place.

Simon Kalis: Most people can just ask you for something and you're usually good for it. Somehow, you turned the great Jethro Hayes into your bitch. From one puppet master to another, I salute you Lisa.

Jethro and Blake disappear behind the curtain. The clock strikes again.

Lisa Seldon: I’d say he was more my funny voiced sidekick who balances the female to male ratio in goons than a puppet. He’s no Duff, who you ruined by the way.

Simon Kalis: Whatever. We've both ruined the lives and careers of big men. You're more like me than you'd ever care to admit. You just don't go as far as I do. Or dress up like you just walked out of a Star Wars convention.

Jaice Wilds runs down the ramp.

Lisa Seldon: I take back what I said. That’s your Genesis opponent right there.

Jaice makes a b-line for Marina, grabs her by head and tail and lawn darts her out of the ring. She lands with a thud, completely unaware of what just happened.

Lisa Seldon: Jaice? More like ACE!

Jaice takes off after Teresa and Marxx. Meanwhile Redeemer has Enika pinned down in the corner and is busying raining punches down across her face. He then stands back up and begins tearing off stomps as Enika tries to escape under the bottom rope.

Lisa Seldon: So if you don't own a country, does this mean I'm not getting my polar bear? That was kinda bucket list for me you know.

Simon Kalis: Nope, but I do have connections and I could probably get you one for the right price... If you catch my drift, sexy.

Lisa Seldon: I’d sell you Teresa into maid themed sex slavery for my bear.

Simon Kalis: I'll make a few calls and let you know then.

Lisa Seldon: She’d polish your knobs and things.

The Redeemer wraps two fists around Enika’s throat and hefts her off the mat. He then sits her on the top-rope and reels back with a fist, but Enika catches his arm, latches on and then drops back over the ropes, taking the Redeemer over and letting him sail to the floor.

Lisa Seldon: DOMINATED! Incidentally, you’re out of goons and I’ve still got one left. You owe me 5 bucks.

Simon Kalis: You accept Kalistan money?

Lisa Seldon: Hell yeah I accept money with my face on it.

Enika slides back under the ropes and breathes a hearty sigh of relief as the clock strikes down again.

Lisa Seldon: Numbers are getting thin now. You worried yet?

Ryan Ross’ music hits.

Simon Kalis: Yeah… no.

Ryan Ross runs into the ring, gets caught by Marxx and then immediately ran back out the other end, bringing his night to an end.

Lisa Seldon: Oh no, the real talent is gone! Who will save us from Jaice Wilds now!?

Simon Kalis: Me, you, anyone in that ring -

Lisa Seldon: No they’re all busy being help down by my strings and shit.

Marxx turns around and grabs onto Teresa who is currently busy trying to fight off a Suplex from Jaice. He joins in and they get her up, by Teresa spikes a knee on both of their heads to get them off. She then lands on her feet and throws a Double Clothesline. Marxx ducks but Jaice isn’t so lucky and eats a shot in the face that turns him inside out and over the ropes.

Lisa Seldon: Suppose that solves the Jaice Wilds problem.

Teresa turns around, gets scooped off the mat and spiked on the back of her head with the Leaving Marxx. Marxx then jumps up and turns right into the Ante Up from Enika that knocks him flat.

Lisa Seldon: I wish people would stop calling the Enzugiri the Boomerang Kick when they have no idea what a Boomerang Kick is.

Enika then jumps up and hurls another kick at Teresa who is currently stumbling on the mat, but it goes wide as Teresa just manages to duck out. Enika scrambles to her feet, right into the Butterfly Hold that Teresa uses to send her to the mat, leaving all three of them in a heap.

Lisa Seldon: Mass wipe-outs across the ring. Whoever is up next is walking into some easy pickings.

Simon Kalis: Pity I put myself out. I could have cleaned up and picked my own opponent.

Lisa Seldon: Unless it’s Stevie Swing or Pete Ebdon, I don’t want it.

Simon Kalis: I’m sure I could make some calls.

Lisa Seldon: To heroine addicted lesbian cat girls? Yeah probably.

All three of them struggle on the mat as the clock counts down again, queuing up “Pomp & Circumstance March No.4” by Edward Elgar to bring Marvin Wood out to the ring.

Lisa Seldon: And here comes Marvin. What you got on him?

Simon Kalis: He has the gayest theme song I've ever heard in my life.

Lisa Seldon: Pretty gay name too.

Simon Kalis: For once we agree

Marvin Wood makes his way to the ring at his own pace, sliding under the ring and standing in the centre to pick between his opponents. Marxx tries to go at him first and comes off his knees with a number of strikes to the gut. Marvin gives him a smile and then drags Marxx to his feet, smashes him with a knee and then puts an elbow strike across his jaw to knock him away. Marxx then wings a Haymaker but Marvin easily ducks under, grabs him from behind and lifts him up onto a Shoulder. He then leans back and tosses Marxx out to the floor.

Simon Kalis: Aurevoir, mon ami Marxx. Vous etez un grande tapette la ici.

Lisa Seldon: Yes. Vis-à-vis banditio.

Marvin sizes up a second, picks out Teresa then gets her off the mat and onto a shoulder. He then lumbers her toward the ropes and lets her go, putting her over. She holds onto the ropes but Marvin is persistent and clobbers away as she fights to hold on, legs and arms tangled amongst the ropes.

Simon Kalis: Mmm... Teresa looks good on her back and fighting.

Lisa Seldon: No, that’s a Canadian! You love Canadians! Cheer on the Canadian!

Simon Kalis: Surprisingly a lot of them annoy me. Matt Stone. Xan Vaxman. Teresa Quaranta. Matt Stone. Annoying bunch.

Lisa Seldon: Worst Canadian ever.

Teresa’s grip starts to go as Marvin leans a foot onto her chest, but she gets a repreave as Enika blasts Marvin in the back. He turns and sends her away with a Chop across the chest, but it’s enough of a break to let Teresa climb back in. she then goes after Wood as well. The clock returns.

Simon Kalis: Oh I wonder who's coming out next?!

Unchained by Van Halen kicks over the speakers, bringing out Meghan, the final entrant to the match. Back in the ring Marvin Wood powers through a Clothesline attempt from Enika and Teresa before flattening them both with one of his own. Marvin then turns, catches Meghan in mid flight and splatters her across the mat.

Simon Kalis: I'd like to splatter her in a different way, if you catch my drift Lisa.

Lisa Seldon: It's not so much a drift as an entire coastal realignment. Still, check out War Marvin ruining all the here comes the last entrant magic.

Simon Kalis: Marvin is just trying really hard to get his ass kicked by me, that's all. Cut him some slack.

Marvin then parries a kick from Enika and sends it into Teresa to knock her away. Enika then gets caught and whipped to the mat with a Snap Suplex. Teresa then gets some of her own as Marvin picks up and Bodyslams her to the mat and then finishes with a German Suplex on Meghan.

Lisa Seldon: Weird that the one guy in the ring of women is the one cleaning house. He really is tearing down all barriers.

Simon Kalis: He's a lost man in a woman’s world.

Lisa Seldon: It would be nothing – nothing – without a woman though.

It’s Enika’s turn this time to go for a ride up on Marvin’s shoulders. She fights with a series of elbows to his head but he shits her up by running her head first into the corner. He then turns around to pick a side of the ring, only to take a Drop Toehold from Meghan that smashes his face off the mat.

Simon Kalis: Wood just met whatever the ring is made out of. All I know is its hard and it sucks.

Marvin looks stunned as he fights back up, right into a clinch from Teresa who feeds him a few knees. A final one tears through his face and knocks him up standing, right until Enika puts him on a knee with a Step-Up Enzugiri.

Lisa Seldon: Getting his ass beat now.

Simon Kalis: I think this is the first time this many women have ever touched his body at once.

Lisa Seldon: I get more play than that and I think anything same sex is all icky.

Marvin refuses to give and leaps up to attack, but runs straight into a Dropsault from Meghan Nash Strader. It catches him under the jaw and sends off his equilibrium, allowing Meghan to low bridge him when he charges forward, sending him to the floor.

Lisa Seldon: Looks like he’s dead wood now.

Simon Kalis: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Looks like it's gonna be me beating up another girl again.

Lisa Seldon: Yeah, just like when you fought Laura. Amirite?

Simon Kalis: There's always an exception to the rule, and she's the exception. She also isn't in the ring right now, so I'm cruising Lisa.

Lisa Seldon: She’s also the rule… er…. of your face.

Meghan turns around to make sure he hits the floor, which is her last mistake of the night as Teresa runs up from behind to put Meghan out right beside him.

Simon Kalis: Someone quick, give Meghan my number. I'll console her... All. Night. Long.

In turn then Teresa is sent flying by Enika, but Teresa holds on, only going as far as the apron once again.

Lisa Seldon: Nyah!

Simon Kalis: Dammit, so close.

Teresa shoots to her feet and Enika does the same, clobbering her with a fist between the eyes. Teresa sways but holds onto the ropes, and then holds on to another punch that pulls Enika in closer. Teresa then gets her Vertical in a Suplex and lets he go to save herself, but Enika manages to catch a rope on the way down.

Simon Kalis: Come on Enika! Take this Amazon bitch out.

Lisa Seldon: No. Lose like the Exit Music loser you are.

Simon Kalis: Honestly I don't care who wins, if we see a nipple slip we all win.

The two come side by side on the apron and begin reeling off elbows. Teresa gets the upper hand and knocks her back and then follows up with a Roundhouse kick, but Enika catches her leg over arm.

Lisa Seldon: No!

Teresa balances on one leg but Enika breaks her grip from the rope and brings the match to a close with a Suplex.

Simon Kalis: Awesome!

Enika snaps back but Teresa lifts up her free leg, wraps it around Enika’s head and then drills her into the ring apron. The crowd goes wild as Teresa holds on and Enika slumps to the floor. There’s a bell.

Simon Kalis: Surprise, surprise.

Lisa Seldon: Boom! Suck it fuckers. Team Lisa wins again!

Simon Kalis: Enjoy it, cause Genesis Team Me will win again. And again. After all Lisa, you've said it time and time again. Teresa is your goon. You versus me would be more appropriate don't you think? But, alas. If I need to dispatch your goon so be it.

Lisa Seldon: Whatever man. Get ready to go give Ryan Ross a hug after you get your shit fucked up.

Teresa rolls into the centre and takes a knee. The fans flood her with cheers.

Lisa Seldon: Woo! Ok, ok, I’m calm now. So what do you think of that buddy. There’s your number one contender.

Simon Congratulates Theresa


Simon Kalis stands up and drops the headset, and begins applauding Teresa as he steps forward. He looks down at Enika on the floor and smiles, shaking his head. Kalis grabs a microphone from ringside and slides into the ring, holding onto the PWA World title over his shoulder. Teresa stops celebrating and seems ready for a fight, but Kalis shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: No, no. I'm not here to fight you. I'm here to say... Congratulations, Teresa.

She looks at him perplexed, knowing full well much of what he says is bullshit usually.

Simon Kalis: You have proven that you are an elite athlete, and I have to acknowledge that you are... Just. Like. Me.

Teresa scoffs but Simon shakes his head, waving his finger and smirking.

Simon Kalis: You and I, just like Lisa and I, are cut from a superior cloth. No one is better than me, but you come the closest. Perhaps had things been different, even I would be on "Team LISA!". I'm sure Lisa would love me on her side, even though she'd never admit it. I am still the only athlete to hold a win over you in the PWA, and I'm sure you look forward in an attempt to rectify that slip.

She nods, as Simon extends his hand.

Simon Kalis: So congratulations Ms. Quaranta, I look forward to holding a respectable match at the biggest show in all of wrestling with you.

Teresa is hesitant, but slowly extends her hand towards Simon.

BANG!

Simon whacks the microphone over her head sending Teresa stumbling back. Kalis grabs the PWA World title and leaps forward, smashing it over Teresa's head. He falls to his knees in front of her and continues to smash the gold plated belt over her face until she begins to bleed. Teresa sends out an elbow that catches Simon in the mouth, busting open his lip but he quickly grabs the microphone again and rolls out of the ring.

Simon Kalis: THAT IS AS CLOSE AS YOU'LL GET YOU DISRESPECTFUL FUCKING CUNT!

Kalis points to a fan in the crowd, who we notice has a Richard Nixon mask on and a First Class Felony t-shirt. The fan tosses Simon Kalis a gold spray paint can and Kalis straps the PWA World title around his waist before sliding back in. Kalis stomps down on Teresa's head and she's obviously tired from having just whooped the entire PWA rosters ass.

Simon Kalis: See? I beat you, fair and square Teresa. You couldn't even offer me a drop of respect. I have always been a prick, and an obnoxious asshole and whatever you wanna call it. The difference is that when I have been defeated, I shut the fuck up. You? You still show me disregard and disrespect even after I put you in your place.

Kalis shakes up the spray paint can and smirks.

Simon Kalis: I am the best in this company and no one is going to change that, Teresa. Least of all you!

He sprays "F-C-F" over her back, albeit it horribly as Teresa is getting to her feet. Kalis whips the spray can at her head and hops over the top rope, shaking his head as he is bathed in a chorus of boos from the crowd. He turns to face an angry Teresa in the ring and waves as he taps the PWA World title on his waist.

Simon Kalis: You think beating all these idiots gives you any rights? It has given you nothing, but another lesson in why I am The Last Superstar sweetheart. Cause you can fight, and you can fight hard Ms. Quaranta.

Kalis makes a "Suck It" motion with his hands.

Simon Kalis: But me? I don't fight. I. Just. Win.

Kalis drops the microphone and turns away, heading into the back to prepare for the World title match as Teresa smiles back at him, feeling the PWA World title within her grasp.

Simon Kalis (c) vs Rayn

PWA World Championship Match


Brian Rentfro: A match for the ages, a showdown half a decade in the making Jon.

Jon McDaniel: Daniel and Simon, the brothers Kalis. This is sort of a rematch if you think about it, going back to their January 2006 Unsanctioned Death Match in Cuba.

Brian Rentfro: But this IS sanctioned. The FIRST EVER "Kalistic" Death Match folks.

Jon McDaniel: When they told me what this match is, I facepalmed Brian. These two may end their careers tonight.

Brian Rentfro: Or their lives. This is a display of brutality and it is highly recommended all children be sent to bed before this match for the folks watching at home.

Jon McDaniel: Let's go over the rules to this match designed specifically by Simon Kalis himself. First, both of these men will have gloves on their hands. Before the match they will have them dipped in glue and then they will roll their hands over shards of glass. Basically giving them fists of glass.

Brian Rentfro: Similar to a Taipei Death Match.

Jon McDaniel: Exactly. You'd think that's it...

Brian Rentfro: But it's not.

Brian Rentfro: To achieve victory, the winner must KO the other where they will not rise again. This will be decided by a ten second count.

Jon McDaniel: Sort of like Last Man Standing.

Brian Rentfro: Pretty much. This is what Simon has dubbed the KALISTIC Death Match. It's disturbingly violent, bound to be bloody and make everyone's stomach turn... It is designed for maximum pain, maximum blood shed and ultra violence. Sadistic, Kalistic baby.


DING DING DING

Eric Emerson: The following match is schedueled for one fall, and is a "Kalistic" Death Match for the PWA Undisputed World Heavyweight title!!!

The fans roar as the cameras pan the ring and arena, showing Emerson standing in the center of it all smiling.

Eric Emerson: Introducing first, the challenger!

The lights in the arena darken down, soon coming to complete darkness except for the masses pulling their lighters or cell phones out. After what seems like an obnoxious moment of darkness, we hear some eerie organ music begin, as the stage lights up in a dark blue hue. The music continues as we see old soldiers from The Order, Simon's nameless soldiers, walking out in an orderly fashion. The first reaches the end of the entrance ramp, turning a right face, and takes his place next to the barrier as the soldier behind him takes a left face and stands across from him. The prosession continues until the entire entry way, is lined on either side with soldiers, wearing all black, ski masks over their heads, each one wearing an arm band on their right arms. The camera manages to get a zoom in on one, which has "R.I.P. SK" in bold white lettering, standing out on all their black. The men, currently standing at attention, suddenly in unison stand at ease. With all of them in their positions, the last individule enters the arena.

He is dressed in head to toe black, a long jacket over black cotton clothes that resemble those of a minister. Around his neck we can see the white collar, however he wears a wide brimmed hat, that covers the majority of his face with his gaze at a downward angle. He walks out, stopping at the top of the stage where the ramp begins to go down to the floor. He stands there for a moment, as the organ music comes to a close at his signal. He lowers his hands from his sides to the ground.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you all get to bear witness to the climax of a war of blood. You get to see the death of two men as you know them now, only to be born again, wearing more badges of war and hardships on their flesh..."

The man looks at each and every soldier, before clearing his throat and continuing on with his surmon.

"Tonight, we the soldiers of The Order, are here to pay homage to Simon Kalis. A man of many talents, a man of much skill, but a man that lived a life of sin. A man who will undoubtedly be taking a first class flight to hell. However accompanying him, shall be his brother, Daniel Kalis."

The fans in attendance, once cheering the name of Simon, stop cheering upon hearing the mention of Simon's brother.

"In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, I pray for their souls. I pray for their well being, I pray... Amen."

As he says Amen, 'Who Shot Ya' by Biggie Smalls begins to play through the speaker system of the arena. The down ass gangstas in the crowd begin shouting cat calls at others, in an attempt for their lives to have some sort of meaning on a global scale. 'AS WE PROCEED, TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED..." blares out across the speakers as the hard hitting bass beings to shake everyone in their seats.

"Simon Kalis, is a man fractured. He, much like his brother Daniel, have done nothing but lead a life of subjugation, a life lacking appreciation for the blessing of breath, the blessing of life. Tonight before you all, we will witness their attempts to redeem themselves within the eyes of those who deserve redemption..."

He lowers his head for a moment, taking what appears as an obviously deep breath, before exhaling slowly. As Biggie Smalls voice beings dropping it's lyrical genius, the man on the ramp throws his arms up into the air suddenly, the jacket dropping to the ground, the hat following it. Holding his arms up in the air, Rayn smiles his trademark smile before looking out at the crowd, walking towards the ring.

Eric Emerson: He hails from Chicago, Illinois... He is the ACIDIC ONE... RAYN!!!!

As he passes them, the soldiers turn and walk back into the back of the building via the stage as Rayn stops in front of the ring. He looks to his left, at fans that want to beat him, then to the right at some fans that are cheering him. Shaking his head he calmly walks to the ring steps, climbing them and stepping into the ring. He shows off his hands, they are gloved and covered in glass shards. He shakes his head as the music dies down. He looks towards the entrance ramp as the soldiers are forced to disperse in preparation for Simon's entrance.

Jon McDaniel: That entrance was a statement.

Brian Rentfro: Simon has got a special guest for his entrance too...

Eric Emerson: Here to perform the OFFICIAL theme song of the First Class Felony, Wiz Khalifa!

Wiz Khalifa steps out onto the stage with a slick swagger waving to the PWA fans and he recieves a good sized pop. The lights begin to dim as a rush of girls in "FCF" haltertops, tight booty shorts and Richard Nixon masks join Wiz at either side of him.

Wiz Khalifa: Yeaaaaaah! Uh huh! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!

The lights go out as "Black and Yellow(The FCF Remix)" begins to play.

Wiz Khalifa: Black and yellow, Black and yellow, Black and yellow, Black and yellow!

A yellow strobe light pans the crowd as smoke begins to rise at the entrance ramp.

)THIS IS A P-DUBYA-A EXCLUSIVE(

Wiz Khalifa: Everythang I do! I DO IT BIIIIG!

Pyros explode off above the ADCTron and towards the ring. The four corners of the ring pop off with golden pyros.

Wiz Khalifa: Yeaaaah, ah hah. Screamin tha's nothin'! When Kally pull out the lot, tha's stuntin'!

Eric Emerson: Introducing, the Champion!

An arch of yellow pyros begin to flow over the entrance ramp in a constant stream of sparks as the FCF girls dance and girate their bodies to the music.

Wiz Khalifa: Reppin' my set! When you see me you know it's F-C-F! Black and yellow, Black and yellow, Black and yellow, Black and yellow!!!

We can just barely see Simon Kalis step forward in a black hoody, his black wrestling tights. His left knee has a yellow brace, and his black boots have yellow laces. As he steps forward he is amidst the arched pyros and they engulf him completely.

Wiz Khalifa: Kally put'em down from Riona to his own brotha, he in black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow!

Kalis begins to sway back and forth amidst the arch of pyros, we can see his figure as such. Rayn stands in the ring, his eyes rolling as he claps his hands together.

Eric Emerson: He hails from Montreal, Quebec Canada...

Wiz Khalifa: Uhhh... Black Champ. Yellow Gold. Them wrestlas scared of'em but them ho's ain't! Soon as he hit'em up look at them ho's face! Smash the othas once, make the ring shake! Blood inside, Kalis soarin'! He's the big boy, you know he'll make you pay for it! He got the pedal to the medal, got'chu niggas checkin game cuz he merkin on every level!

Eric Emerson: He is the PWA UNDISPUTED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!! THE LAST SUPERSTAR.... SIMON KALIS!!!

There's a huge pop, mixed of cheers and boos as the pyros that arch over Simon finally pop off and he steps forward bobbing his head to the music, exhaling smoke from the pyros as he does. He fist bumps Khalifa as the FCF girls in their creepy Nixon masks swarm Simon. He taps the PWA World title that is strapped to his waist as two of the FCF girls begin grinding on him on stage.

Wiz Khalifa: Hear them haters talk! But there's nothin' you can tell'em! Kally got a win, got anotha win on his schedule! No love for them niggas breakin hearts! Kalis PLEASE! Just give'em scars!

Kalis raises his hands and tilts his head back, swaying to the music as the girls grind on him. Rayn can't believe the showboating as the FCF emblem burns on the ADCTron. The crowd is on their feet, enjoying the musical performance.

Wiz Khalifa: UHHHH HUH! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! Everything HE do! He do it big! Reppin the set, when you see him you know it's F-C-F! Black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow black and yellow! Kally put'em down from Riona to his own brotha, he in black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow!


Kalis swaggers around the ring, before sliding in and heading to a top turnbuckle. He throws his arms in the air with the PWA World title hanging from his right hand, cameras flash off everywhere. Though Simon's hands are also in gloves, with the glass shards covering them. He carefully steps out and throws his hoody off. He hands the title to Lance Weston who holds it up for the crowd to see and we can all see the bullet that struck the title earlier tonight. Kalis points to his tights, "OUTLAW" on the left and "KALIS" on the right. He turns around and pats his ass where we see the FCF emblem and he smirks as the crowd continues to cheer. Not for him, but for the exhilerating performance and entrance.

Wiz Khalifa: UHHHH HUHHH! YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS! Killa Kally give that nigga HELL!

Kalis raises a fist in the air as does Khalifa and the FCF girls, the song dies down and they all disappear into the back.

Jon McDaniel: Wow.

Brian Rentfro: Now THAT is an entrance!

Kalis quickly reaches into his knee brace and pulls something tucked into it out. Rayn turns around to see him as Kalis puts the device against his neck! The crowd EXPLODES in shock as the taser in Kalis' hand goes off, shaking Rayn. Rayn buzzes and hits the canvas right away as Lance Weston calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Brian Rentfro: Simon just TASERED Rayn?! HAHAHAHA!

Kalis drops to his knees and jabs the taser into Rayn's chest, sending Rayn shaking from it. Rayn fights and struggles but he throws a punch into Kalis' side which immediately cuts him and Kalis stumbles back onto his back. Kalis rolls away and chucks the taser outside of the ring, it's cartridge empty. Kalis gets to his feet and rushes to Rayn who is still spazzing on the canvas. Kalis leans forward and punches Rayn hard in the gut, grinding his fist against Rayn's belly. Rayn winces as his stomach gets cut by the glass shards glued to Simons gloved fists. Kalis punches Rayn in the face, slashing him across the cheeks. Rayn is bleeding everywhere now as Kalis pulls his hair, ripping out a chunk with the slicing of his glass shard covered gloves. Rayn is still trying to fight the electric currents running through his body, they still have him down. Kalis gets up and backs away, pointing to Lance Weston to begin the ten count.

1!

Jon McDaniel: Simon looking to make this a quick victory.

2!!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah well he doesn't want those gloves hitting him.

3!!!

Simon Kalis: Stay down, bitch.

4!!!

Rayn still grits his teeth, his eyes fully open but his body still paralyzed by the taser.

5!!!

Brian Rentfro: Is this one of the quickest endings ever?

6!!!

Rayn stirs to life!

7!!!

Rayn sits up in pain, unable to even wipe his own face of blood since he'd cut himself. Weston stops the count as Kalis soccer kicks Rayn in the back. Rayn throws a wild punch, nailing Simon in his good right knee. Kalis steps back wincing as he looks down to check his leg, it's bleeding now cause of the shot. Rayn is on his feet but still groggy. He throws a European uppercut and hits Simon hard in the chin. Simon flies back into the corner turnbuckle. He groans as his chin starts to bleed. Rayn rushes him in the corner but Simon jumps forward, rolls and gets out of the way. Rayn just quickly jumps up to the top rope and comes flying off as Simon turns around, nailing Kalis with an axehandle smash that rips the flesh off of Kalis' face. It even cuts his eye patch off as Kalis stumbles forward back into the corner. He yells as Rayn rushes. Instinctively, Kalis pushes his leg out and up and nails Rayn in the face with an awkward superkick. Rayn stumbles back and Kalis turns around and throws two lefts, two rights all over Rayn's face and body. Cutting him with each strike. Rayn kicks Simon in the gut and knife edge chops him across the chest. It rips pieces of skin off Kalis and he winces, Rayn does it again and more flesh is ripped off of Simon. Simon headbutts Rayn and hits a few quick jabs in Rayn's face that cut him up. Both men step back from each other, breathing heavily. The blood is coming from all over them and the fans are on their feet.

Jon McDaniel: This is crazy. This needs to be stopped. They're gonna bleed each other out at this rate.

Brian Rentfro: I think by combining Last Man Standing rules with Taipei Death Match rules and creating the "Kalistic Death Match"? That's the point, Jon.

Rayn rushes Simon but Kalis drop toe holds his younger brother into the turnbuckle. Kalis quickly gets up and begins punching Rayn's back until its bleeding from a number of tiny lacerations. Kalis lifts Rayn up onto his back, double underhooking his arms and carefully balances himself now on the top rope. The fans can't believe it and the cameras flash as Simon jumps off and takes Rayn with him. SENTENCING OF THE DAMNED!!! Simon rolls away from Rayn, straight out of the ring as Rayn remains motionless on the inside of the ring. Weston begins the ten count.

1!

Simon falls to the ground outside the ring and picks himself up.

2!!

Rayn isn't moving as Kalis begins pulling out things from beneath the ring. He finds a table and begins

3!!!

setting it up on the outside of the ring.

4!!!!

Jon McDaniel: This is the second time Simon's had his brother nearly down and out.

5!!!

Kalis searches under the ring, throwing out random things-that'll-be-weapons sure to be used later in the match if Rayn gets up.

6!!!

Rayn stirs to life and shakes his head. Kalis asks someone at ringside to light him a cigarette. Wait a minute...

7!!!

Rayn is now pulling himself up as we see DUFF MAN is the one who lights Simons cigarette. Greenberg grabs a towel and begins wiping the blood off Simon who stands there smoking his cigarette and smiling, chatting with Duff Man about the next episode.

EEIGGG-NOPE!

Rayn is now up and coughing, and he sees Simon casually chit chatting Duff and rolls his eyes.

Jon McDaniel: Great. Duff is at front row with that tool Greenberg aiding Simon.

Brian Rentfro: What? They just helped him freshen up!

Kalis quickly hops up onto the apron and Rayn rushes him. Kalis ducks the hit and grabs the cigarette out of his mouth and burns Rayn's cut up stomach with the ember. Rayn winces but elbows Simon and gets onto the apron with him. While this is going on Duff hops the barricade and walks over to the announcers table. Rayn spits in Simon's face, Kalis rubs his one eye as Rayn kicks him on the apron. Duff takes a seat with Rentfro and McDaniel as Rayn quickly wraps Kalis up. EPIPHANY OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE TABLE!

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: DAMN! I haven't seen anything that ugly since Enika Engel was on my show a few weeks ago!

Jon McDaniel: Gee... Thanks for joining us.

Brian Rentfro: DUFFF MAAAAAN!

Kalis is crushed in the aftermath as Rayn gets up, mounts Simon and begins throwing heavy rights into Kalis' face. Each strike rips Kalis' face and more blood comes out.

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: Hey remember Hank Serbia?

Brian Rentfro: No.

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: Me neither!

Kalis knees Rayn in the balls and Rayn falls off Simon, but Simon is still damaged from the Epiphany he just had through a table he set up.

Jon McDaniel: The Epiphany did some serious damage to Simon.

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: He has to stop hurting Simon! The more hospital bills Kalis has to pay, the less he'll put into my show!


Jon McDaniel: We can only hope.

Brian Rentfro: Hey! Have respect! We have the Canadian Bill O'Reilly with us.

1!

Lance Weston has begun a count on Simon now as Rayn raises his hand as if in victory.

2!!

Brian Rentfro: I think Simon could use some Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour right now!

3!!!

Jon McDaniel: Rayn is acting like he's just won, his hands in the air. I'm not sure this is enough to keep Simon down for ten.

4!!!

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: Remember kids, only drink Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour! Now with 50% less hydrogen cyanide!

5!!!

Rayn points to himself proudly as Kalis clutches his sides. Greenberg throws Kalis a new eye patch, which Kalis takes and puts on but he still remains down.

6!!!

Jon McDaniel: You really are on his payroll, aren't you Duff?

7!!!

Kalis continues to stir and begins crawling out of the debris of the broken table. Rayn turns around and watches him, jumping back on the apron and climbing to the top rope.

8!!!

Kalis is on his knees picking himself up, Lance Weston watches carefully as Kalis gets to his feet gingerly and cancels out the ten count. Rayn flies off the top turnbuckle to the outside, hitting a frantic missile dropkick to his older brother Simon that sends both man crashing back into the broken table. Kalis grimaces and Rayn rolls away from him, a bit hurt himself and both men still bleeding. Kalis lunges forward off his back and lands on top of Rayn. Rayn throws a right fist right into Kalis' stomach, cutting Simon over his Thug Life tattoo. Kalis begins pummeling Rayn with lefts and rights, further cutting Rayn's face. Both men look almost disgusting with the numerous slashes across their faces and bodies. Rayn fights back, throwing a left hook into Kalis' face that slashes his right cheek showing this match more as a brawl than wrestling match. Kalis wraps his hands around Rayn's head and locks in a sleeper hold on the outside, both men still in the broken table debris. Kalis gnaws his glass covered gloves against Rayn's forehead and shoulder as he locks in the sleeper hold. Weston is on the outside checking on Rayn as Rayn reaches out forward. Rayn instinctively begins punching Simon's arms, each hit slashing Simon again and again. Simon screams and bites into Rayn's hair and begins pulling back. The camera shows the reaction of the crowd from laughs, to chills and to a group of four topless fans. One has "R" on his chest, another has "O", another has "F", and the final one has "L". Their friend with "S" shows up with a bunch of snacks and they cheer seeing themselves on the ADCTron as Weston tries to keep a handle on Simon and Rayn.

Jon McDaniel: Simon is eating Rayn's hair! He's ripping chunks out with his mouth while scraping chunks of Rayn's face and shoulder! Good God!

Brian Rentfro: Pretty crazy! What'd you think, Duff Man?

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: Well initially we wanted Teresa Quarantas tits on the label of Kalis Malt Liqour, but the company said that may cause problems. So we settled on gang colors instead.

Brian Rentfro: What insightful commentary.

Jon McDaniel: ...I'm getting word Lisa Seldon is sending security to have Duff removed from ringside.

Kalis lets go of the sleeper hold and rolls away, looking at his arms in despair. Rayn smiles amidst his own bloody face as he gets to his feet. Simon spits hair out of his mouth as he tries to roll away from Rayn who's on his tail. Rayn stomps down on Simon but Simon grabs a pipe, one of the weapons he found under the ring, and swings it at Rayn's shins. Rayn winces as Kalis strikes. Rayn quickly drops both fists onto Simon's chest cutting him up some more. Rayn bashes Kalis' face repeatedly and the pipe rolls away from Simon as he looks out of it. Security meanwhile has begun to come down to ringside and walk on the opposite side to avoid interrupting the match.

Jon McDaniel: Goodbye Duff.

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: This wouldn't be happening if I wasn't an O.G. Original Gangsta.

Brian Rentfro: Or black.

Duff Cote D'Ivoire: Right!

Security swarm Duff who drops the headset and jumps over the barricade and begins escaping through the crowd. Back at the action, Rayn and Simon are both back on their feet now. Simon looks over at the pipe he dropped, as Rayn eyes a large piece of wood from the broken table. Both men rush each other instead, and open up a fury of fists. Each man sends quick strikes against the other, each one blocking the attack and responding in kind. The cycle continues as if both men are attempting the Ak-47 on each other! The fans pick up on it and go nuts, as Simon throws out a stiff forward thrust kick which Rayn blocks with his fists. Rayn shoots out a snap kick to Simon which Simon knocks away with his fists as well. Their gloves are loosening as they go for jabs, punches and uppercuts each blocking the other from connecting properly. Both men jump back and pop off superkicks, both men nailing them perfectly on the other at the same time. Rayn and Kalis both hit the ground hard, bloody messes of themselves and exhausted.

Jon McDaniel: Back to some normalcy with this match, both men just went off on each other in an adrenaline soaked mash up. I'm not sure either has the upper hand right now.

Brian Rentfro: I think their gloves cut each other loose in all of it, which could be a good thing.

Simon and Rayn roll away from each other. Simon rolls under the ring as Rayn gets to his feet. Rayn drops those glass shard covered gloves and picks up the pipe that Simon had dropped earlier. He begins circling the ring, trying to find Simon. Simon rolls out from beneath the ring behind Rayn, also without his glass shard covered gloves and gets to his feet. Simon brings with him two florescent light tubes and as Rayn turns around Simon smashes one across his face, sending glass and dust in the air. Rayn swings the pipe at Kalis' face blindly, missing as Simon ducks and sidesteps him. Simon swings the other light tube and smashes it over the back of Rayns head. Rayn stumbles forward and Kalis jumps up onto his back, placing his knees against Rayns spine and pushing forward. Simon pushes Rayns face first into the shattered glass on the ground as they drop, driving his knees into Rayns spine. Kalis jumps off of Rayn and climbs up onto the apron. He waves to the fans and taunts Rayn from the apron momentarily, giving Rayn a chance to roll over onto his back in pain.

Brian Rentfro: This match isn't going well for Rayn.

Jon McDaniel: Who says? Simon is bleeding horribly himself out there, the only reason he looks a bit better is because that Duff Man flunkie Greenberg wiped the blood off of him.

Simon raises his arms in the air and jumps off the apron with a leg drop that connects over Rayn's neck. Rayn chokes on himself as Simon gets up and rolls into the ring. Simon is on his knees now and he tilts his head back as he raises his arms in the air. Lance Weston begins the ten count!

1!

Maya comes running out from the backstage area, a huge smile over her face and a chair in her hand as she slides into the ring and collapses to her knees as well, dropping the chair aside. She hugs her dad and pats him on the back.

2!!

Brian Rentfro: What a beautiful sight! She must have that chair just incase Rayn gets up!

3!!!

Simon kisses her on the cheek as she wipes his head from all the blood and helps him to his feet.

Jon McDaniel: Why can't everybody stay out of this match until it's over?

4!!!

Maya spins and clotheslines Simon!!! She puts her foot out and lashes out with a thrust kick to the back of his head as he hits the chair she dropped as she came in. In one fluid motion she sommersaults and hits a flashy leg drop of her own on her father! The crowd goes nuts!

5!!!

Brian Rentfro: YOU BITCH! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TURN ON YOUR FATHER?!

Jon McDaniel: TRIPLE RAINBOW! TRIPLE RAINBOW ON SIMON KALIS!

6!!!

Weston looks into the ring now as Simon is laid out and not moving, while Rayn quickly drags himself up by latching onto the apron and pulling himself into the ring, cancelling out his count. Weston slides into the ring and has no choice but to start a new count, on Simon Kalis this time.

1!

Jon McDaniel: Maya may've just cost her father the PWA World title! She's loving it!

2!!

Maya helps Rayn onto his feet now and hugs her uncle as she raises his arm in premature celebration.

3!!!

Rayn leans against the ropes and motions Maya to get out of the ring and grab more chairs. She does as instructed, and gets two more from ringside throwing them into the air and over the ropes into the ring.

4!!!

Brian Rentfro: NO! NO!!! NOOOOOO!!! GET UP MY LORD! RISE! RISE!

5!!!

Simon seems to be coming to as he shakes his head and opens his eye now. Maya has set the two chairs up in the ring, the ends facing each other as they're ready to be sat on. Rayn steps forward groggily and picks Simon up by the neck. Maya slides back out of the ring and finds that trash can Simon had earlier. Inside of it she carefully pulls out long winding barbed wire, and slides back into the ring with it. Rayn throws a stiff right into Kalis' face, sending him stumbling back. Rayn rips off Kalis' eye patch and SPITS right into his left eye socket to the disgust of the fans, who have begun booing Rayn and Maya. Maya grabs the chairs she just set up, closes them up and begins wrapping the barbed wire seperately around them. She leaves on freshly barbed wire wrapped chair on the canvas and drops the other one to her side. Maya scissor kicks Simon who stumbles away from her, and right into a European uppercut from Rayn. Simon Kalis stumbles away from Rayn and right into a hard slap across the face from his daughter Maya.

Jon McDaniel: I'm not even sure I'm enjoying this right now... But you reap what you sow, and you'd be hard pressed to find anyone with sympathy for him now.

Brian Rentfro: This is a travesty! Where's Duff Man when you need him?!

Simon stumbles back again towards Rayn, defeat brimming from his one good eye as Rayn grabs ahold of him and BANG! THE DOWNS ONTO THE BARBED WIRE CHAIR!! Maya quickly picks up her barbed wire wrapped steel chair and goes to town on Simon Kalis, beating him repeatedly with it. Each hit ripping flesh from Kalis' arms and back as he barely covers his face up from the onslaught. Rayn picks Simon up as Maya unwraps her steel chair from the barbed wire. Rayn spins Simon as Maya wraps him with the barbed wire now, Simon out of it on his feet. Simon is completely enclosed in the barbed wire as Rayn kicks him in the gut. Maya heads to the top rope as Rayn positions Simon and drops him face first into the remaining barbed wire steel chair with The Epiphany! Rayn is up quickly and smashes the other steel chair onto Simon's back, leaving it there as Maya comes off the top rope and double foot stomps onto the chair, onto Simon's barbed wire covered body hard. The crowd can't believe it as Rayn and Maya back away now, staring down at the seemingly unconscience Simon Kalis. Weston begins another ten count.

1!

Jon McDaniel: Simon's reign of terror may finally be over before it truly began.

2!!

Brian Rentfro: This is bullshit, Jon. Absolute bullshit. This only proves no one can defeat Simon on their own, one on one. It takes a screwjob to do him in, like his whole career.

3!!!

Jon McDaniel: The comeuppance, Brian. He's getting his.

4!!!

The fans begin to cheer as loud as they possibly can for Simon, at the top of their lungs.

5!!!

Brian Rentfro: I think the fans may think otherwise for once, Jon.

6!!!

Maya and Rayn slide out of the ring, frustrated and begin pulling closed tables from beneath the ring.

7!!!

Fans: GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS!

8!!!

Simon's eye opens, and he sits up as if he thinks he's the second coming of Raizzor. Rayn looks into the ring and rolls his eyes as Simon begins screaming to get out of his barbed wire jacket.

9!!!

Kalis rips his arms out, sending pieces of flesh, blood and barbed wire everywhere as he yells in pain.

Fans: GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS! GLORIOUS!

TEEEE-NO!!!! SIMON JUMPS TO HIS FEET AT THE LAST SECOND!!!

Simon stumbles into the ropes, and keels forward over the top rope coughing, and wincing in pain as pieces of barbed wire are stuck into his arms, back and stomach. Maya finishes setting up two tables on the outside of the ring as Rayn slides in after Simon. Rayn rushes Simon but Simon instinctively throws an elbow behind him, catching Rayn right in the face. Rayn stumbles back as Maya hops up onto the apron and begins yelling at Simon. The crowd errupts as Charlie Scene hops the barricade and hops up onto the table Maya set up. He hops forward onto the apron with Maya, grabbing her by the neck and dropping back into a reverse DDT through the table she set up!!! Rayn turns and sees this and can't believe it as Simon looks at him with rage as he rushes forward. Kalis with a rising knee straight into Rayn's chest sends Rayn back a bit, as Kalis elbow uppercuts Rayn across the face. Scene stands up on the outside of the ring, and has a spray paint can on him. He shakes it up and quickly spray paints "FCF" over Maya who is out cold. Scene slides into the ring and stands to his feet. He quickly sprays the gold colored paint into Rayn's eyes. Rayn stumbles back as he holds his face, only to get grabbed by Simon who drops him with the Tears of Redemption! The crowd goes nuts!

Jon McDaniel: Simon has been revived by the energy of the fans, and it's apparent Charlie Scene is one of his secret FCF thugs in the PWA!

Brian Rentfro: The tables have literally turned on Maya and Rayn! Treacherous swine!!!

Rayn rolls around on his back and rolls right out of the ring, on the opposite side where Maya set up the tables. Maya herself is back up and pissed as she slides into the ring. Simon is weakened and drops to his knees, keeling forward as he bleeds profusely. Scene turns around and is met with Perdition from Maya! Scene collapses to the canvas and Maya quickly rolls onto him and locks in her C.B.T! Crazy Bitch Tactic! She begins choking him and choking him, yelling at him to just "DIE!" as she does so. Simon reaches forward, ever so weakly before collapsing forward and hitting the canvas. Rayn is on his feet on the outside and runs to the bell keepers table and grabs the PWA World title. He slides back in the ring, interrupting Lance Weston before he can start the ten count. Simon begins crawling and gets to the ropes, pulling himself up as Rayn bends forward like a predator waiting for his prey. Simon is on his feet and coughing, completely out of it. Scene has been utterly choked out as Maya lets go of him and he rolls out of the ring, clutching his neck. Simon turns around and BANG! Rayn smashes the PWA World title over his face! Kalis hits the canvas hard and lays out flattened. Maya slides out of the ring and stands on the table she set up just outside of the ring as Rayn lifts Simon up and whips him into the ropes. Rayn climbs up with Simon Kalis in tow, and double underhooks his arms as he lifts Simon up, upside down onto his back. The fans are all on their feet as Rayn has his back with Simon on it facing the outside of the ring. Maya turns around and looks over her shoulder, waiting for Rayn's cue. Rayn jumps off, and Maya grabs her father by the neck as Rayn and Simon come crashing down amidst the camera flashes! They all go through the table!!! Jon McDaniel jumps out from his seat.

Jon McDaniel: ULTIMA!!! ULTIMA!!! THAT IS THE MOVE SIMON AND MASA MADE FAMOUS AS THE ORDER OF CHAOS FINISHING MOVE! And my GOD! They just used it on Simon himself, through a table!

Brian Rentfro: ...I can't believe this.

Jon McDaniel: Folks... Wow. Say GOODNIGHT TO THE BAD GUY!

Rayn and Maya get up and out of the debris, both of them in pain from the move itself as well. Simon Kalis remains broken, bleeding and bruised in the middle of it all as Rayn slides back into the ring with Maya. Rayn collapses now to his knees, completely out of it just as Simon was moments ago. Lance Weston stands in the ring, shaking his head as he looks out to Simon and begins the ten count.

1!

Kalis doesn't move.

2!!

Brian Rentfro: Pleaaaase Simon... Don't let us be subjected to Rayn as World Champion!

3!!!

Jon McDaniel: It can't be worse than Simon himself.

4!!!

Brian Rentfro: I think everyone in the PWA will beg to differ!

5!!!

Rayn grabs the PWA World title and slings it over his shoulder, smiling as he taps it proudly. Neither Maya or Rayn notice Charlie Scene on the outside roll beneath the ring.

6!!!

Brian Rentfro: The world stands against Simon! Every single person wants his reign ended before it can begin! But I BELIEVE SIMON! I BELIEVE MY LORD!

7!!!

Maya hugs her uncle as she helps him up, neither of them are looking behind them to see Simon Kalis' right eye open amidst the debris of the table.

8!!!

Rayn holds up the PWA World title, feeling victory in his grasp. Simon Kalis is sitting up now, and shaking his head off. Scene slides out from beneath the ring next to Simon with a kendo stick in one hand.

9!!!

Scene is up and grabs Simon by the arm and lifts him to his feet. Scene bows before Simon Kalis and slides into the ring as Kalis stands wobbling, trying to keep his balance.

Jon McDaniel: I can't believe it...

Brian Rentfro: WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SCREAMING CHEERS OF THE FANS!

Scene slides in and is on his feet quick. Maya is the first to turn around and get WHACKED across the face with the kendo stick. It sends her flying back and Scene chases her, spearing her through the middle and top ropes to the outside! Both of them go crashing into the barricade and remain motionless on the outside. Rayn's eyes widen as he turns around and sees Simon Kalis get to his feet in the ring.

Simon Kalis: You stupid fuck. You can't stop me...

Kalis spits blood forward.

Rayn: It felt a little too easy there, bro.

Simon points to the PWA World title on Rayn's shoulder.

Simon Kalis: I believe you got my property, "BRO"!

Kalis jumps forward and unleashes a fury of lefts and rights. The PWA title falls off of Rayn's shoulders as he bounces off the ropes and right into a roaring elbow from Simon Kalis. Kalis whips Rayn into the ropes and follows him, hitting a missile dropkick into the back of Rayn's head. Rayn crumples at the corner turnbuckle and Kalis is back up, running off of pure adrenaline. Simon pushes Rayn up and lifts him onto his back, before balancing himself on the top rope and dropping back! SENTENCING OF THE DAMNED! The ring shakes from the impact as Simon rolls away and pulls himself to his feet. Lance Weston begins the count!

1!

Rayn yells out!

2!!

Rayn sits up! Rayn sits up!!! Even Simon Kalis can't believe it!

THRE-RAYN PULLS HIMSELF TO HIS FEET!

Jon McDaniel: Whoa!

Rayn charges Simon and unleashes a fury of lefts and rights of his own now. On the outside, Charlie Scene locks Maya in a figure four leg lock to prevent her from interfering and she screams out in pain, calling out for Johnny Maverick to come save her! Simon blocks the the next left from Rayn and knees him in the gut. Rayn stumbles back but charges Simon again. This time Simon drop toe hold smashes Rayn's face against the opposite corner turnbuckle. Simon looks over and sees that barbed wire wrapped chair still in the ring. He picks it up and smashes it against Rayn's back and neck, cutting him up as he does so. Rayn holds onto the ropes in agonizing pain as Simon seems to be eyeing the top rope and his distance from it with the chair. Simon decides on a spot and opens the barbed wire chair up, setting it up a few feet into the ring. Kalis rushes Rayn again and drops a knee into the back of Rayn's head as he pushes him back up to the top rope. Kalis is wobbly as he lifts his younger brother Rayn onto his back. Kalis jumps off, and the cameras flash again as Simon Kalis hits the Sentencing of the Damned on Rayn into the barbed wire steel chair! It snaps shut against Rayn's head and neck as it connects, and Rayn shakes and convulses in the ring as Simon rolls away. Lance Weston begins another ten count.

1!

Jon McDaniel: That was a SAVAGE rendition of the Sentencing of the Damned!

2!!

Brian Rentfro: This has to be it!

3!!!

Kalis picks up the PWA Undisputed World title and straps it across his bloody stomach.

4!!!

Kalis yells at Greenberg, who at ringside still throws him a cigarette pack with a lighter in it.

5!!!

Kalis sparks a cigarette and leans against the ropes, nodding with approval as Rayn finally stops moving.

6!!!

Simon Kalis: Fucking punk.

7!!!

Kalis picks up the can of spray paint Scene brought with him and stands over Rayn, the can in one hand and his cigarette in the other.

8!!!

Jon McDaniel: Rayn isn't moving...

9!!!

Scene laughs as he lets go of the hold on Maya, she rolls away holding herself in absolute pain. Rayn remains motionless in the ring.

10!!!!

DING DING DING

The fans cheer, but some boo as Lance Weston walks over to Kalis and raises his hand.

Eric Emerson: The winner of this match, and STILL PWA UNDISPUTED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... THE LAST SUPERSTAR!!! SIMON KALIS!!!!!!!

Kalis leans forward and turns Rayn over onto his back. He shakes the can up and sprays the letters "FCF" over Rayn's chest and steps over him, chucking the can aside and climbing the ropes to raise his hands as "Black and Yellow" hits.

Brian Rentfro: Was there ANY doubt?! Simon has done it yet again!

Jon McDaniel: In bloody, bloody fashion as well. But we have to give Rayn credit, Brian. He came back from every hit to give Simon a run for his money.

Scene slides into the ring with a microphone in hand as Kalis jumps down from the turnbuckle and grabs the mic.

Simon Kalis: Cut the music! Cut the music!

The music dies down as Maya slides into the ring, shaking her head. She stands up with her hands up, apologizing to her father Simon.

Simon Kalis: Maya, Maya... Maya. My sweetheart, my princess.

She smiles as Simon opens his arms up to hug her. She smiles back and runs to him, happy as he hugs her. Kalis has the cigarette hanging from his mouth and exhales with a smirk before grabbing the cigarette and pushing Maya away. She looks up at him concerned as he takes the cigarette and plunges the ember into her face. Scene grabs the barbed wire covered steel chair as Maya stumbles back from the burn and he whacks it over the back of her head. Maya hits the canvas hard.

Simon Kalis: You know baby. You fell head over heels for Johnny Maverick and I was okay with it. Even after he tried to end my career? I was STILL cool with it baby. To THIS DAY I am cool with it.

Kalis steps forward, shaking his head.

Simon Kalis: You stood with your "Aunt" Riona, and helped her bloody me on live television and you know what? I was cool with it. I accepted your free will, and your independance when you became an Apostle.

Maya turns over onto her back, crying as she looks up at Simon.

Simon Kalis: But now? You come out here, try to screw me out of my title? For who?! Not for Johnny! Not for Riona! FOR RAYN! FOR DANNY BOY KALIS! Your PATHETIC excuse of an uncle.

Kalis grabs the barbed wire covered chair from Scene, who stands nodding. We can only assume he has a smirk behind that creepy mask.

Simon Kalis: I gave you everything. I accepted you for who you were, and I didn't care if you loved Johnny or worshipped the ground Riona walks on. But this? This is the ultimate betrayl, and there is no coming back from this Maya. You aren't my daughter, you're dead to me.

Maya crawls to Simon's feet, hugging his legs and begging for forgiveness.

Simon Kalis: These people cheered me tonight, because of the odds against me.

Kalis scoffs.

Simon Kalis: Let's see them cheer me now, as I give you a face that Mr. Sex Symbol Johnny Maverick will never love.

Scene grabs Maya by the legs and pulls her off of Simon. He flips her onto her back as Kalis begins smashing the barbed wire steel chair across her head. Scene falls to his knees and holds Maya's arms apart so she can't cover her face as Simon rips into it. The crowd boos heavily as Maya begins to bleed everywhere. Rayn rolls away and sits up against the bottom rope in the corner, still woozy. Kalis stops and picks up the microphone again.

Simon Kalis: Will Johnny still love you now? Huh? You wanna be so much like Riona Langly? Here. Rip off her shirt, Chuckie.

Scene does as commanded and rips Maya's tanktop off. All she has on now is her bra, but she's still crying and bleeding as she tries to wipe her face.

Jon McDaniel: Jesus Christ someone stop him...

Simon Kalis: Here, you can have a body as scarred and ugly as hers.

Kalis drops the microphone again and begins smashing the chair repeatedly and incredibly viciously into Maya's chest and back. Maya rolls around screaming as the barbed wire rips her flesh off with each hit. Simon goes into a frenzy and doesn't seem ready to stop as slowly her whole body is covered with rips and tears. Finally Charlie Scene grabs ahold of Simon Kalis and pulls him away. Kalis picks up the microphone again.

Simon Kalis: I gave you a million chances, you ungrateful fucking whore. You're no daughter of mine. Go ask to live with Riona or Johnny, or your little buddy Uncle Daniel over there. You come onto my property I will fucking put a bullet in you kiddo.

Kalis smirks as he pats the PWA World Title on his waist and points to the crowd and to the backstage area.

Simon Kalis: I RUN THIS! ME! NO ONE is gonna stop me! NO ONE! So come get me!

Kalis spits at Maya.

Simon Kalis: Let everyone see, no one is above my justice. Cause I don't fight... I... JUST... WIN!

Kalis whips the microphone at Maya as she curls up in a fetal position, crying as "Black and Yellow" hits again. Kalis and Scene get out of the ring and Scene raises Simon's arm in the air as the crowd boos at him heavily.

Brian Rentfro: Let no one question his authority!

Jon McDaniel: To think, for a second I ALMOST respected him. Ugh.

Brian Rentfro: All Hail The Last Superstar!

We catch one more glimpse of Rayn and Maya in the ring. Rayn gets a large towel from Lance Weston and uses it to cover Maya up as Simon stands atop the entrance ramp with Charlie Scene, holding up the PWA World title.