Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions

Another Stupid Long Episode!
12-13-2010


This is an Entourage


Jon McDaniel: Oh my... Folks we have small monitors on our desk here at ringside and Brian and I are catching something very interesting going on outside.

Brian Rentfro: I'll say, quick. Let's put it up on the ADCTron!

The cameras switch scenes to the outside area of the arena, right in the front. A dozen Cadilliac Escalades seem to be rolling up to the arena, each with alternating color. Six black Escalades roll up first and pass by the entrance, as a massive white Cadilliac Escalade limosuine rolls in the middle. Behind the Escalade limo are six gold colored Cadillac Escalades, and each of them seems to be blasting the same song in syncronization. The heavy bass to "Ambitionz Az A Ridah" by 2Pac feel like an earthquake on the ground as the doors to all of the Escalades, except the limo, begin to open.

Jon McDaniel: Color coordinated escalades blasting loud gangster rap music? Black, white and gold? Jeez wonder whose colors those are.

Brian Rentfro: I feel like you're being sarcastic, but I am seriously wondering who'd be boss enough to show up to the arena in such a bossy manner.

Jon McDaniel: Oh yeah, the person must be a serious boss.

As McDaniel rolls his eyes, the Escalades flood open with dozens of men and women dressed in all black jeans, shoes and shirts. Save the fact the t-shirts clearly have the "First Class Felony" emblem, they are all wearing the same Richard Nixon masks. They all run up to the arena, except one who opens the Limo door.

Brian Rentfro: Hah! First Class Felony has it's own little army of President Nixons!

Jon McDaniel: Pretty sure the girls wearing those masks with the Double-D's aren't President Nixon. Let's not not forget to mention that Nixon is dead, God rest his soul...

Brian Rentfro: Oh just cause they've got breasts and they're women they can't be Presidents? Jeez Jon, way to sexualize women.

Jon McDaniel: I didn't mean it like that!

Brian Rentfro: I sure hope not, sexualizing women as nothing more than pieces of meat is my job.

From the limousine out steps a man dressed in a black tuxedo. He swings a silver cane in the air before tapping it on the ground as he steps forward. He of course, has a Richard Nixon mask on as he makes his way to the arena steps. He stops right at the entrance and as the camera pans to see him from behind, we see "FCF" spray painted on the back of his tux.

Brian Rentfro: What a trendsetter! It's like being formal, yet casual!

Jon McDaniel: How is having ghetto letters spray painted on your back a blend of formal and casual?

The man in the tux throws off his Nixon mask, and much to nobody's annoyed surprise it's Simon Kalis.

Simon Kalis: Ladies and gentlemen! Shall we?

Kalis extends his hands out to either side and rips off the tight FCF t-shirts of two of the women beside him. Their breasts both each say "F" along the padding in front while the center is cusped together with a specialized "C". One of the women is black, one of them is white and they both grab onto Simon Kalis. They bob and weave just their heads, and it sort of either makes it hotter or weird with their grinning Richard Nixon faces.

Simon Kalis: My new guns, Ebony and Ivory.

Kalis winks at the camera as one of his Nixonites puts a Fedora over his head.

Simon Kalis: Welcome to my show! Once again baby!

Kalis laughs as he enters the arena, Ebony and Ivory by his side. His mini-army of FCF Nixons hop, skip and jump behind him into the arena.

Jon McDaniel: This can't be good.

Brian Rentfro: You're right. It's GREAT!

Lucious Starr vs Duff Cote d'Ivore

Singles Match


Eric Emerson: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!

[The sound of a helicopter overhead echoes in the arena and the lights go down. Searchlights begin to roam the arena, until the opening guitar riff from "The Ghost of Tom Joad" by Rage Against the Machine slams through the speakers. The searchlights turn into a single concentrated spotlight that shines on the stage as tension builds. The crowd rises to their feet, and Zach de la Rocha begins to rap about the impoverished. From the back, The Redeemer emerges, to a giant pop from the fans. His face, looking down, is obscured by the hood attached to his black and green cape.]

++Man walks along the railroad tracks++
++He's goin' someplace, and there's no turnin' back++
++The highway patrol chopper comin' up over the ridge++
++Man sleeps by a campfire under the bridge++
++The shelter line stretchin' around the corner++
++Welcome to the New World Order++
++Families sleepin' in their cars out in the Southwest++
++No job, no home, no peace, no rest++
++No rest!++

Eric Emerson: On his way to the ring, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada; he stands at 6'7" and weighs in at 275 lbs, The Reeeeedeeeeeemer!!!

++The highway is alive tonight++
++Nobody's foolin' nobody as to where it goes++
++I'm sitting down here in the campfire light++
++Searchin' for the ghost of Tom Joad++

[The band kicks in after the long, dramatic chorus and The Redeemer begins to embark towards the ring, his cape dragging on the ground behind him. He walks slowly, looking down the whole way.]

++He pulls his prayer book out of his sleepin' bag++
++The Preacher lights up a butt and takes a drag++
++He's waitin' for the time when the last shall be first and the first shall be last++
++In a cardboard box 'neath the underpass++
++With a one way ticket to the promised land++
++With a hole in your belly and a gun in your hand++
++Sleepin' on a pillow of solid rock++
++Bathin' in the city's aqueduct++

[He rolls into the ring and steps into the middle, peeling back the hood to reveal his skull mask and long hair. He looks at the crowd surrounding him, still going crazy, and backs into his corner.]

++The highway is alive tonight++
++Nobody's foolin' nobody as to where it goes++
++I'm sittin' down here in the campfire light++
++With the Ghost of old Tom Joad++

[The Redeemer does a few stretches and waits patiently for the match to commence while his music dies down.]

Eric Emerson: And his opponent…

The arena is dimmed until only a single beam of light shines on the center of the entrance ramp. The PWA-tron lights up, showing a countdown on the screen. As the countdown begins, one hears the voice of a young child.

(5) Now I lay me down to sleep
(4) I pray the Lord my soul to keep
(3) And if I die before I wake
(2) I pray the Lord my soul to take

The final line during the countdown is spoken by a grown man, running chills down the spines of those watching.

(1) May God have mercy on your soul...

The opening chords to Soundgarden's "Fell on Black Days" begin to play through the arena, a figure making his way onto the ramp. He begins to reach skyward, the anticipation growing. As his fingers touch, pyros shoot from all sides forming a star above his head. Lucious looks to the ring, slowly dropping his arms to his side.

Eric Emerson: Weighing in tonight at two hundred and sixty-three pounds...

Lucious walks down the ramp, his eyes fixed on the ring. He reaches out, allowing his hand to touch those of some nearby fans, as he slowly walks down the entrance to the arena.

Whatsoever I've feared has come to life
And Whatsoever I've fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded
Now I'm doing time
Now I'm doing time
Cause I fell on black days
I fell on Black days

Eric Emerson: He is the Beta Warrior of the Pioneer Wrestling Association...

Whomsoever I've cured I've sickened now
Whomsoever I've cradled I've put you down
I'm a search light soul they say
But I can't see it in the night
I'm only faking when I get it right
When I get it right
Cause I fell on black days
I fell on Black days
How would I know
That this could be my fate
How would I know
That this could be my fate

So what you wanted to see good has made you blind
And what you wanted to be yours has made it mine
So don't you lock up something that you wanted to see fly
Hands are for shaking
No, not tying
No, not tying

Lucious stops at the bottom of the ramp, turning his head to each side. He shoots into the ring, sliding to the center as he pushes himself up. He looks to Eric, who nods to the star.

Eric Emerson: It is my honor to introduce... Lucious Starr!!

I sure don't mind a change
I sure don't mind a change
Yeah, I said sure dont mind, I sure dont mind the change
I sure dont mind the change
Cos I fell on black days
I fell on black days
How would I know
That this could be my fate
How would I know
That this could be my fate
How would I know
That this could be my fate
How would I know
That this could be my fate
If you dont mind the change

Lucious starts to the northwest corner, raising one arm to the sky. The fans roar in adulation, the Fury of Hades taking it all in. He drops to the mat, turning to ring center, his eyes fixed on the mat.

Brian Rentfro: Now watch as Lucious Starr showcases what a true champion he has been.

Jon McDaniel: Well, okay. I suppose this should be entertaining enough.

As the bell rings Redeemer steps forward and the two lock up, with Starr twisting Redeemer’s arm behind his back and then slipping his leg in front to trip Redeemer face first to the canvas. Starr drops quickly on top to apply a headlock, leaning his body over Redeemer to apply extra pressure.

Brian Rentfro: Starr gets the early advantage!

With a brief struggle, Redeemer shoves Starr off and rolls to his feet, backing up and feeling his head. Starr stares back and both circle each other again. Another lock up and this time Starr throws Redeemer to the ropes, Redeemer bounces off, ducks Starr and on the return, Starr goes for a clothesline, but Redeemer dives below the arm, turns and kicks Starr in the back of the knee. Starr stumbles, and Redeemer turns him around and throws him to the ropes, and as Starr bounces off, Redeemer catches him in a Tilt-a-whirl back breaker, and Starr finds himself rolling painfully on the canvas.

Brian Rentfro: Dammit, Starr, don’t let Redeemer get the better of you!

Jon McDaniel: Redeemer or Duff, the man’s a veteran and can get the upper hand on anyone!
Redeemer wastes no time and comes in with some sharp kicks to Starr’s back and kidneys. Starr defends himself by grabbing Redeemer’s attacking leg, but Redeemer shakes him loose and brings his fist down against Starr’s shoulder and forces him back. Starr gets to his knees and Redeemer immediately grabs him by the hair, pulls him up and rams his for head into the corner turnbuckle. Redeemer then grabs Starr by the hair and runs him into the next turnbuckle, using the run for momentum. Three body shots and then Redeemer whips him down and over, and then applies a back arm bar, wrenching it over his head. Starr struggles, gets up and tries to lift Redeemer up and over but Redeemer hits a knee and backs Starr up a bit. A second knee drives Starr into the ropes and Redeemer uses that to whip Starr across the ring.

Jon McDaniel: Redeemer has a tremendous momentum going here.

Brian Rentfro: Come on Starr, eye rake him or something!

As Starr comes off, and Redeemer runs in, Starr gets his arm up and hits a forearm over Redeemer’s forehead, knocking him hard to the canvas. As Redeemer tries to stand, a second forearm shot takes him back to the mat. Redeemer rolls over shaking his head as Starr now stalks him from behind. Starr goes off the ropes and Redeemer ducks, but Starr leap frogs him and turns and comes in. Redeemer is confused for a moment and Starr jumps and hits a hurricarnna, sending Redeemer bouncing along the canvas. Starr rushes over and tries to cover.

1

2

Suddenly the light flicker off and on…. Starr scurries to his feet, not finishing the pin attempt!

Brian Rentfro: No! Raizzor better not interfere with this match!

The flickering stops, and Starr cusses and turns to kick Redeemer but the fallen man shoves Starr to his knees and rolls towards the ropes.

Jon McDaniel: Starr Can’t afford the distractions, or Redeemer will end this match quickly.

Redeemer pulls himself up by the ropes, facing to the center of the ring as Starr stands and comes in for the attack. However, a knee lift from Redeemer halts Starr’s approach and Redeemer throws him into the corner. An uppercut, followed by a whip to the other corner, causes Starr to hit the corner with his back. Redeemer comes in, but Starr hits him and dizzies Redeemer who is forced to back up. Starr then hops the corner, going high and aiming for Redeemer.

Brian Rentfro: High Risk Move! Go Starr! GO!

Jon McDaniel: May be too early to try this!

Redeemer runs in as Starr jumps but Redeemer ducks it and Starr lands on his feet in the middle of the ring. Redeemer turns and runs out, but Starr twists and answers with a drop kick, crashing Redeemer down.

Brian Rentfro: Now that’s what a former champion does, Thinks on his feet.

Jon McDaniel: As well as off his feet!

Starr the drags Redeemer to the corner and goes to scale the turnbuckle to the top rope. Allinging himself, Starr soars with an attempted splash, but Redeemer gets his knees up and Starr impacts solidly on them, falling away holding his gut in pain. Redeemer rolls the other way, also hurt from the impact. Redeemer gets up first, using the ropes and limping as he moves over and begins stomping on Starr in his injured stomach. Redeemer watches as Starr moves around the ring and follows with kicks and punches. Redeemer comes in again, but Starr manages to swipe at him with a weak punch, which is Just enough to let Starr jump up and come in for an attack of his own. Starr hits a vertical suplex and covers again.

1

2

Again the lights flicker. Starr tries to hold the pin but by looking up, he loses his grip and Redeemer shoves him off.

Brian Rentfro: What the hell is that dumb shit Sommers up too!?

Jon McDaniel: Playing mind games with Starr, obviously.

Angry, Starr tries to lock on an armbar but Redeemer has a focus that borders on cockiness as he kicks at Starr a few times to injure him more. Dragging Starr forward, Redeemer hooks him into a front face lock and lifts him vertically into the air, before dropping Starr over the top rope, hanging him to dry. Redeemer then takes a few steps back and hits a huge drop kick to the side of Starr’s face, dropping him down onto the canvas. Redeemer makes the cover.

1

2

Shoulder up.

Brian Rentfro: Sure, no flicker THIS time.

Jon McDaniel: Redeemer resumes control! He needs to attack those ribs more!

Dragging Starr up, Redeemer quickly wraps him into an abdominal stretch, wrenching his body and stretching the already injured gut and ribs from the earlier splash. In the stretch, Redeemer uses his free arm to punch the wounded ribs, while Starr, all the while moans but refuses to tap out.

Brian Rentfro: He may have heard you there!

Jon McDaniel: Excellent wear down tactic!

Starr finally manages to turn to break out so Redeemer lifts him up for a slam but the momentum is too much and Starr shifts and lands on top of Redeemer, covering him.

1

Again the flickers.

Brian Rentfro: STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!

Jon McDaniel: Ya know, Starr COULD just ignore them and go for the pin!

Starr seems to agree, wrenching the leg back and covering again.

1

2

Redeemer whips out from the cover himself and jumps to his feet and kicks Starr in the gut again, putting more pain on the injured ribs. Redeemer then whips Starr into the corner, chest first and when Starr bounces back, Redeemer drives his elbow and forearm back into Starr’s ribs yet again. Two shots to the kidneys follow and Redeemer senses victory. Lifting Starr up, Redeemer shoots him over for a back body drop, but behind him Starr lands on his feet. Redeemer turns fast and runs in, only to find himself crashing to the canvas from a perfectly executed belly to belly suplex.

Brian Rentfro: HA! Now we’ll see Lucious Starr at his best.

Jon McDaniel: Even with the distractions and rib shots, Redeemer is not stopping Lucious Starr.

Still, as a deperation move, it doesn’t allow Starr to follow the advantage and Redeemer jumps up quicker and again, more rib attacks. Redeemer knows he has to stay focused on the injury to bring Starr down. Redeemer pulls Starr up by the head, but Starr breaks free and punches Redeemer in the cheek. Redeemer backs to the ropes, holding his mouth and Starr waits for Redeemer to come back in and hits a kick to his mid section. Starr then follows up with some solid punches, finally finding his momentum, and then a chop, a forearm and a chop. A whip to the ropes and as Starr returns, Redeemer drops and back body drops Starr. Again, however, Starr lands on his feet and spins around, bringing his foot into the air and hitting a heel kick to the side of Redeemer’s temple. Starr quickly covers.

And yet again the lights flicker a couple of times, but now Starr isn’t letting the distraction stop him.

1

2

Shoulder up!

Brian Rentfro: Man, check out Starr, he has the reflexes of a cat and is smart enough to ignore Raizzor’s childish efforts.

Jon McDaniel: Redeemer can’t count on the distractions for the advantage anymore.

Aching, Starr sighs and follows Redeemer to the corner, where he is grabbing the ropes for leverage. Starr executes his own kick to Redeemer’s kidneys and then a sharp forearm chop that puts Redeemer vertical against the corner. The ref orders Starr to get Redeemer out of the corner, and Starr obliges with a fast whip across the ring to the other corner and then comes in with a hard splash! Confident, Starr again whips Redeemer across the ring to the previous turnbuckle, comes in for a splash but Redeemer manages to move out of the way and Starr hits the empty padded corner. Starr comes out and ducks Redeemer huge clothesline and answers with an enziguri! Redeemer is down and Starr crawls over for the cover.

1

2

More flickering as Redeemer grabs the ropes.

Brian Rentfro: Redeemer with the presence of mind to find the ropes.

Jon McDaniel: That’s a veteran move, right there!

Starr picks up Redeemer, hits two knife edge chops and backs Redeemer to the ropes. Starr goes to whip Redeemer, but Redeemer reverses it by twisting Starr’s arm and brings him in fast, lifting Starr up into a fireman’s carry, but Starr gets his feet up around the shoulders of Redeemer, sitting on his shoulders and falls forward to roll Redeemer up into a small package. However, Redeemer rolls over and catches Starr in the same small package.

1

2

Kickout!

Both men up, Redeemer whips Starr into the ropes but Starr with the reverses, as Redeemer hits the ropes, Starr Points to the sky, signaling he’s going to put Redeemer away with the Grim Reaper! As Redeemer comes off the ropes, the lights go out yet again, just long enough that Starr loses Redeemer in the black out and misses the clothesline. Starr stumbles, confused and turns to look for Redeemer but by then, Redeemer has him in position and locks on the Coil! Both men fall to the canvas, with Redeemer securing the Coil tightly and after nearly thirty full seconds of Starr trying to bust free, he has no choice but to tap out!

Brian Rentfro: NO!! NO!! Damn you, Raizzor!

Jon McDaniel: We can’t be sure it was him, and besides, don’t take anything away from Redeemer! He just, in his own way, got a bit of his own Redemption against the Order!

Brian Rentfro: OH, just shut the hell up!

Eric Emerson: The winner of the match, Redeemer!

Redeemer gets his arm raised, before rolling out of the ring and making his way up the stage. In the ring, Starr grabs the ropes, gets to his feet and curses loudly about the lights, making parents in the front first rows cover their kids ears. Star storms from the ring, intent on finding the Soul-Taker!

As he marches up the ramp, the scene switches backstage where we find Chamelion inside his make-shift office for the evening. He’s standing by the wall near the door, looking curiously at a light switch on the wall. At that moment, his brother, Raizzor walks into the office. He sees Chamelion scratching his head, eyeing the light switch.

Raizzor: What is wrong, little brother?

Chamelion: For the past ten minutes I’ve been flicking this wall switch, trying to find out exactly what it does!

Raizzor shrugs his shoulders as Chamelion continues to be entranced with the wall switch as we go to commercial.

Risk and Reward


We're backstage. Ash Nukem is standing at the catering table, screaming at the man behind the table.

Nukem: What do you mean you don't have any shrimp!?!? This is America damnit.

The man looks unamused. Nukem huffs, turns, and walks right into Jacob Collins and his plate of chicken fingers. Both men look down, and Ash looks up to see Collins slowly looking up.

Nukem: Oh crap. Sorry dude.

Figgins actually looks amused.

Figgins: Sorry, like your skills at street fighter 2?

The crowd lets out one loud "OHHHH" in unison as Ash's jaw drops. He's fire up now.

Nukem: Oh yeah? OH YEAH! You're one to talk. I bet you couldn't even beat me at something simple...like Risk!

Figgins raises an eyebrow.

Figgins: Random, but regardless of what stupid little game you'd like to play, I could still take you shrimp.

Ash puts his face in his hand.

Nukem: Now you bring shrimp into this. Dude, I have my xbox 360 in my locker with Risk Factions on it. We're doing this now, CLASSIC STYLE!

Figgins: I am the grand tactiman of the Figgified nation. Risk is but child's play. This game will show you that the Figgified nation is more than capable of taking over. With my savvy, skill, and devilish charm.

Nukem looks unimpressed.

Nukem: All I hear is blah...blah....BLAH!

Ash gets in Figgins' face...the best a guy half a foot shorter can. Regardless, with Figgins looking down, the two's noses are close. Their eyes locked.

Nukem: Lets do this.

The two turn and storm off, Figgins after Nukem.

Mark Zout vs The Phoenix vs Felix Cassidy

Triple Threat Match


Thing of Beauty by Hothouse Flowers begins to play just as the arena lights go out and the ADC tron lights up with a picture of a flaming bird. The bird explodes in a ball of fire and white and green pyros flare from the ring posts. The Phoenix and the Smoking Leprechaun walk out to the entrance ramp and head to the ring.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen! The next bout will be a triple threat match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first… Standing at six feet and weighing in at two hundred thirty pounds… Risen from the ashes, THE PHOENIX!!!

The opening drums of 'Riding On The Wind' take over the P.A. system, while at the same time the lights begin flashing - alternating between blue and black light bulbs with every pound of the drum. At some points the alternation is so quick it seems as if both are flashing at the same time.

Eric Emerson: Representing Seattle, Washington; he stands at five feet, ten inches, and weighs in
tonight at two hundred five pounds… MARK ZOUT!!!

Zout erupts from behind the black curtain, his bare chest and abdomen glimmering under the hot lights, and in the case of the black lights, extremely short platinum blonde hair even glows green-ish color (although it seems like tiny green dots all over his skull) - matching the patches of white on his white and red camouflage pants and white DC Courts, as well as his taped ribs.

From his spot on the top of the stage, he runs in place as he turns a complete circle. When he is again facing the ring, he thrusts a fist into the air before beginning a sprint to the ring. Once he has nearly reached the side of the ring, Mark dives between the bottom and middle ropes, rolling off the canvas and ricocheting off the ropes, running the length of the ring a couple times to warm up for the match about to unfold.

The arena lights dim as the opening riff of Foo Fighters' "Times Like These" start to play. As the full band kicks in, blue and white lights strobe around the entrance and the ring. Felix Cassidy comes out from backstage and looks around the arena with a huge grin on his face. After soaking in the crowd for a second, Felix heads for the ring in a full sprint, sliding in under the bottom rope.

Eric Emerson: And standing at six feet, one inch, weighing two hundred thirty pounds… From Chicago, Illinois, FELIX CASSIDY!!!

The three get situated in their corners as the official frisks them, giving them a rundown of the rules. The official then signals for the bell to the timekeeper.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

The match is on, and we see Felix Cassidy burst out from his corner, holding both hands out for a lock-up. Phoenix and Zout lock eyes, a smirk crossing both their lips as they glance back to Cassidy, shaking their heads. Not to be detoured by the two veteran’s lack of interest, Cassidy guns directly for Phoenix. He catches the veteran off-guard by a well placed over-hand punch turned glancing elbow. Phoenix is backed into the corner as he attempts to fight off a quick, well placed flurry of kicks and short jabs. In a moment of clarity, Phoenix manages to trap an arm of Cassidy and reverse their positions, so that Phoenix controls the action in the corner. The vet lays into the rookie with a couple hip strikes landing harshly against Felix’s ribs, followed by a hard back-elbow, leaving the rookie reeling. Felix stumbles forward out of the corner and Phoenix bounds off the middle turnbuckle, bringing Cassidy to the canvas face first with a technically sound bulldog.

Standing, Phoenix darts his head in the direction of Zout, who still stands calmly in his own corner. There is a momentary pause as Phoenix silently challenges Zout to advance on him, but Mark simply motions toward Felix Cassidy as he struggles to find his feet, selling his face. Mark gestures that Cassidy is all Phoenix’s, and after another long moment Phoenix turns back to Cassidy, delivering a sharp heel to the back of his head. Cassidy rolls with the blow, selling now the back of his head as he rolls under the ropes. Phoenix is quick to pursue, however, and begins lifting the rookie by the shoulder when he is caught abruptly by a sharp elbow. Phoenix doubles over and the rising Cassidy connects with a fist to the temple. Cassidy is up now and does a fair job of checking Phoenix’s thigh with some mean-looking low roundhouses. More striking blows again have Phoenix backing up, this time directly into the corner of Mark Zout. Zout is quick to slip through the ropes, delivering a boot to Cassidy’s head as he flips between them ala Kofi Kingston. Cassidy is stunned and stumbles back, and phoenix stumbles into him after a sold back-elbow from Zout. Cassidy is able to capitalize on this opportunity, looping his arm around the neck of the stumbling veteran and delivering a beautiful snap suplex.

Felix looks to Mark, who stands on the apron outside of his corner - weary of another attack to come from that way. Mark shrugs, pointing out that the two had invaded his bubble, and motions that Phoenix is all his. Another long engagement of their eyes before Felix turns back to the Phoenix, who is selling his spine. Cassidy drops to the mat on top of Phoenix and locks his arms around the veteran’s waist, applying a bear hug from behind. Phoenix’s expression is masked by his… mask, but it’s obvious he is either in serious pain or seriously pissed off the rookie has gained so much ground on him by the way he swung his arms. Phoenix, in a struggle, finds his vertical base, but he is tipped up and back in a high angle German suplex. Cassidy continues to hold in the waist lock and continues to squeeze the life out of Phoenix.

Cassidy drags Phoenix back up by the waist lock and tips the veteran up for a second German, but Phoenix is able to break the hold mid-suplex and flips out, finding his feet under himself. He grabs hold of the back of Cassidy’s head and pulls the rookie down, slamming the back of his head into the mat between his split legs in a sit-out. Phoenix is back up and points to Zout, who again shrugs, avoiding blame for the blows he delivered. Phoenix isn’t having it, though, and he stalks toward Mark. Mark drops off the apron and walks away from the ring, holding his arms up innocently. Phoenix exit’s the ring in pursuit, but as he does so Mark is quick to slide back into the squared circle on the adjacent side, just in time to catch a boot in the stomach from Felix. Cassidy tucks Zout’s head into a headlock, but Mark is quick to back into the ropes, using their momentum to push Cassidy off of him. He’s grabbed from behind by Phoenix, who is now on the apron behind him, but grabbing the masked man’s wrist with both hands, Mark drops to the mat, torquing the arm of the former champion. Phoenix jumps down from the apron, shaking his arm free of the sting that was delivered. Meanwhile, in the ring, Cassidy is looking for a lock-up from Zout.

The two circle shortly before moving to the center of the ring for a lock-up. Zout goes low, however, and snags an ankle, chopping the knee with his shoulder as he slides into rear position. Cassidy is floored in prone position and Zout is quick to roll over him, locking in securely a headlock of his own. Cassidy locks his arms around Zout’s waist and swivels his hips, sitting out. He rolls backward, forcing Zout’s shoulders down and Mark is left with no option outside of abandoning his hold at the count of one. He breaks Cassidy’s grip, and rolls out at two, applying a hammer lock as he slips in behind the rookie once more. Applying torque to the rotator cuff in Cassidy’s shoulder, Zout lifts the rookie off the mat, then pushes him forward, capitalizing with a dropkick to the arm and back before Cassidy is able to recover it. Cassidy stumbles forward, sinking into the corner as he nurses his arm. Zout is quick behind him, though, and hoists the rookie onto the top rope. Zout Jumps up, wrapping his legs around Felix’s head for a Huricanranna. Before he can capitalize, however, Phoenix pushes him over Cassidy and he crashes into the barricade and floor below. Phoenix hooks the head of Cassidy and launches himself off the top turnbuckle, flinging Cassidy over him in a superplex! Phoenix goes for the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Cassidy gets a shoulder up just before three and the official waves off the bell!

On the outside two techies run down from the entrance ramp and begin strapping Mark down with a wireless microphone. Mark tries to fight them off, unaware of his surroundings or his assailants and Duff Man appears on the entrance ramp. He taps his microphone while the same techies run past him and drag out a set, positioning it behind Duff. He sits in a chair that is set behind him and crosses his legs comfortably.

Duff: Oh, I’m sorry, is this inconvenient? Is this a bad time? I just noticed you weren’t doing much anything else in the match so far, so I’d take the opportunity to interview you as my guest this week on the Duff Man Show!

Zout: What the hell is this?!

Mark claws at the wireless mic, attempting to take it off, but it’s duct taped on tight. Inside the ring Phoenix is working Felix over with suplexes and slams. Felix tries to crawl away, but is caught in the back of the head by a sharp heel from the boot of Phoenix. Phoenix really starts working the newcomer over on the mat with fists to the skull.

Duff: This, my friend, is an interview. How are those ribs, by the way? Redeemer really worked them over well last week, didn’t he?

Zout: Do you have a problem with something?

Duff: My only problem is how lucky you’ve been lately. I bet The Redeemer could fix that lucky streak.

Felix catches one of Phoenix’s stray blows and vines his legs around the head and arm of Phoenix, clenching in a tight triangle hold!

Zout: He couldn’t do anything about me winning last week. In fact I remember it being he whom I pinned last week!

The official is in position, asking Phoenix if he’d like to tap. Finding a strong vertical base instead, Phoenix lifts the rookie into power bomb position and slams him down on the back of his head! The Phoenix rolls away nursing his arm and Felix sells the back of his skull.

Duff: Confident, huh? Or are you just compensating for some other area?

Zout: Fine, Redeemer wants a rematch? He’ll get it whenever he wants it.

Duff: Redeemer was number one contender before you came along. He only wants his shot if the title is involved.

Both men are back up now inside the ring. Phoenix is quick to take control once more, punishing the rookie with a crushing kick to the stomach. Cassidy hit his knees and Phoenix tucks his head between his legs. He lifts him and moves his arms for The Flame, but rookie Felix Cassidy manages to flip his feet back down too quickly for Phoenix and delivers The Flash!

Zout: Excuse me a sec!

Cassidy goes for the pin.

ONE!

Zout dives into the ring.

TWO!

Mark flips over Cassidy, hooking the inside thigh and rolls him up tight!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Mark is quick to his feet and he turns to Duff as Fozzy’s Riding on the Wind hit’s the speakers.

Zout: Alright, Duff. Redeemer wants his shot? Next week I’m taking Stone down. I’m taking his title, and Redeemer can have his shot for it whenever he sees fit!

Duff: Well, you're a lot more gracious than the last Mark Zout we had on our show. He kept talking about heart.”

Duff smiles as he tosses the half-eaten heart from before down the stage. Zout looks down at it in disgust and as he turns around he bumps into Felix Cassidy. Looking the rookie up and down, Zout gives him a pat on the back and shakes his hand.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen! Your winner, at eight minutes, fifty-three seconds, via pin fall… MARK ZOUT!

We cut to commercial.

Unpresidential Behaviour


Teresa closes the door to Lisa Seldon's office and rubs her hands together, sliding into one of the seats.

Teresa Quaranta: Jesus, it's cold out there.

Lisa pays zero attention to her - she just snarls in her seat and throws on a flowing white dress with some rather obvious mustard stains along the front of it.

Teresa Quaranta: There are some rather obvious mustard stains along the front of -

Lisa Seldon: Bought as-is. Don't care.

There's a long pause as Lisa sits in the chair made famous by Charlie Sheen's dad. Teresa gives a worried squint and kicks her feet up on the desk.

Teresa Quaranta: What's wrong?

Lisa Seldon: What's wrong? Are you serious? My prize accquisition, the bestest wrestler on the planet shat the bed last week against Simon Kalis. I have to go out on a date with this vile, repulsive idiot, and my tits are frozen stiff because I had to walk all the way from outside the parking lot, because it's filled to the brim with two-bit hoods in Cadillac SUV's. What do you think is wrong?

Teresa Quaranta: Well, you have a gang of undisclosed maniacs trying to cause havoc in PWA, yet again. Simon Kalis stands a decent chance of becoming World Champion at Ground Zero and he could use that leverage to -

Lisa Seldon: I don't care about any of that! You're supposed to be my shining example to the roster and you're embarassing me like everyone else.

Teresa Quaranta: First of all. Since the people that do you proudest end up hating your guts along the way, you should probably make do with a little dissapointment.

Lisa makes an extremely sour face, but whatver cutting comeback is in her head doesn't quite come out before -

Teresa Quaranta: And second of all, I wouldn't change into my dress blues just yet, okay?

She claps Lisa on the shoulder and leaves. Lisa follows her out with a glare, and then goes back to putting the dress on as the camera fades.

Ash Nukem vs Jacob Figgins

Singles Match


Eric Emerson announces Jacob Figgins, but no one comes out. He looks around and shrugs, then announces Ash Nukem. Again, nothing. Emerson walks to the ropes as someone whispers in his ear. He walks back to the center of the ring, and announces the match a No Contest.

Matt Stone vs Ahrid Arrafat

Singles Match


Match begins with Arrafat and Stone pounding on each other until the referee breaks them apart. Finally after some time, Stone ties up Arrafat on the rope and kicks his left leg. Stone proceeds to connect with a shin breaker before applying a leg lock. Arrafat struggles to break the hold as Stone then tries applies an inverted Figure Four Leg Lock, but Arrafat kicks him in the face, or so he thought as Stone is able to get the leg lock on. Afterwards, Stone tries to grab Arrafat’s leg and put him in an ankle lock but Arrafat flips up and strikes Stone with an ezigiri kick. As the two athletes make it back to their feet, Stone charges at Arrafat, but Arrafat manages to quickly deliver a DVD on Stone onto the top rope and then proceeds to get elbow strikes in Riona fashion, onto Stone’s face. After a 2 count, Arrafat tries for the springboard kick, but Stone ducks and grabs Arrafat with an ankle lock again, but instead of holding snaps it against the canvas. After, Arrafat reverses a sleeperhold with a snapmare, but receives a kick to the head from Stone for the effort. After another 2 count, Stone quickly gets back up and attempts a sidewalk slam, but Arrafat turns around and strikes a Russian leg sweep sending Stone down like the Ottawa Senators. With Stone down, Arrafat connects with the Guillotine Choke.

Just-Us League Assemble


We cut into Lisa’s office, just in time to catch her in the middle of building another house of cards, because she’s not here to impress you. Suddenly the door caves from the kind of impact that could only be provided by a Sledgehammer and through the smoke a rather super individual appears.

Spykeman!: Commissioner Seldon! We need to talk.

Lisa settles her last two cards and looks up, having not spilled a single one because she works in a company where having people smash through your doors isn’t at all unusual.

Spykeman!: I need some help.

Lisa Seldon: From me?

Spykeman! forces out a particularly stoic laugh.

Spykeman!: No no, not from you, you simple, beautiful yet unattainable Goddess.

Lisa raises an eyebrow as Spykeman! leans forward and pats her on the head.

Spykeman!: See, being a superhero is great. You get to fight crime, destroy evil and park wherever you want, but being the only super hero in the entire AoWF has me spread thin. And so it’s time for me to put together a league.

He stands back, puts his fists on his hips and looks positively heroic.

Spykeman!: As the commissioner, I was hoping you could…

Dramatic pause.

Spykeman!: ‘Magic’ me up some help!

Lisa leans back in her chair and rubs her chin. Spykeman! holds his pose.

Lisa Seldon: Well I guess. But two people aren’t really a league.

Spykeman!: Don’t worry.

Spykeman! tosses a particularly familiar Ghoulish mask onto her desk.

Spykeman!: He’s in.

Lisa picks up the mask, turns it in her hand and smiles.

Blake Witcroft & Joshua Danielson vs Jethro Hayes & Marxx

Tag-Team Match


The bell rang allowing the two legal men, Marxx and Blake to start the contest off. Marxx went with a traditional side headlock but Blake quickly sent him into the ropes to break the hold. Whitcroft reached out to tag Joshua in but the rebounding Marxx caught him with a shoulderblock into into his midsection bowling him over. Marxx reached over tagging in Jethro who came in with his big fists flying all over Blake's land. Blake was backed into a corner with right after right until Jethro mounted hiim in the corner. Blake countered with a spinebuster out of the corner following it up with a leg drop and ending with a bit of smack talking Blake dragged Jethro over to his corner where he tagged in Joshua to allow him to get some beating on Jethro accomplished. Joshua went to work using his speed and agility with a series of kicks and jumps to have Jethro leaning in the corner panting for breath and holding his breath. Joshua ran and leaped into the air for a hurricanrana, but Jethro countered with a sit-out powerbomb into the center of the ring. Jethro pulled Joshua up and onto his shoulder before tagging in Marxx to let him have some action on his opponent at Ground Zero. Jethro spun around delivering a stunner to Joshua while Marxx leaped from the top turnbuckle with an elbow drop. Marxx stayed for the cover and Blake came in to break it up. Jethro came in to prevent the interference with a few well met fists to Blake's face.

Blake and Jethro fought near the ropes until Blake managed to lock on a side headlock taking both men over when Jethro lifted him up for an atomic drop; both men slammed onto the floor heavily. Back inside the ring Marxx had Joshua in a belly to belly suplex, taking him over to land on his shoulder. Marxx kept on the attack lifting Joshua back up, whipping hiim into the ropes and going for a clothesline. Joshua gathered his wits springing from the middle rope up and over Marxx catching him with a kick to the back of his neck. Marxx held at his neck and fell into the ropes. Joshua dove through the ropes, pulling Marxx's throat down across the middle rope to harshly cut off his air supply. Joshua smiled back up into the ring before climbing back in to pull Marxx back up to his feet gasping for breath. On the outside of the ring Blake and Jethro are over the barricade and into the crowd throwing rights and lefts. Jethro catches Blake with a wristlock, but Blake kicks him in the side of the left knee. Jethro drops down to one knee, allowing Blake to slam a steel chair down on his back then golfing the chair up into his face. Jethro stands up, holding at his face when Blake kicks him in the midsection dropping him with a ddt onto the floor. Whitcroft rushes back to the ring where Marxx has Joshua locked into a single legged Boston Crab. Blake comes in, taking Marxx down with a clothesline to the back of the skull. After a few more series of exchanges and counters Marxx was able to get Blake off of him, but it allowed Joshua to get back up and rest. Marxx turned around to the legal man, who was Marxx and Joshua.

Joshua crawled over to tag in Blake, but Jethro was there ripping Blake from the corner. Jethro leveled Blake with a big right hand jerking his head back violently. Joshua lowered his head, hoping for the tag but knowing he was not able to get it right now. Joshua turned around and Marxx delivered his finisher and covered. Blake tried to dive in the ring, but Jethro grabbed his ankle and the two began brawling back through the crowd again.

Winners: Marxx and Jethro Hayes 11:23

Quit Bogarding All The Titles


The lights suddenly dim down as the opening intro to Dragon Storm 2007 plays. Once the intro finishes and goes into the main theme, smoke emerges from near the entrance way.

A figure emerges from the smoke, standing while looking at the fans as he stands in the shadows. The figure is seen as strobe lights go off to reveal Cody Bogard posing at the entrance way. Bogard is dressed rather casually in his "March to the top of the ladder" t-shirt along with some boot cut jeans and a pair of Pumas, making his way to the ring.

Mizukara no ishi de sono tobi tataki
Mizukara no ishi de sono tobira wo hiraku
Taka naru mune no kodou wo Osae kurezu ni
Kokoro ni himeta Tsuyoi toshi wo moyasu

Cody makes his way over to the ring, springing up to the ring apron, climbing the turnbuckle and posing with his arms open in a pose.

Kanayaku daiya no Genseki no youni
[Itsuka wa hikari wo hanatemasu youni...]

Cody jumps from the turnbuckle as he thrusts his arm into the air to a hail of cheers.

Yume no tobira wo hiraku Erabareshi senshitachi
Kagirinaki kanou sei wo Sono mune ni idaita mama
Mizukara wo shinjite tsudoishi nakama wo shinjite
Hatenaki "yume oi bito" wa Ashita e no michi wo iku dake

Cody steps off the turnbuckle as his theme fades out. Bogard reaches over the ropes asking for a microphone from the ring announcer, who gladly hands over the microphone over to. Cody takes a moment to pause as chants of "Bogard! Bogard!" ring throughout the arena.


Cody Bogard: Sure feels good to be here in Columbus tonight, already coming off a big win a couple weeks back against one half of the number one contenders for the Grizzly Beer title in Ahrid Arrafat. The past couple of weeks for me have been pretty crazy what with the PWA/Rebel Pro match at Good vs Evil, the whole inner turmoil within both teams, walking in on something I'm going to have a lot of trouble removing from my memory no amount of brain bleach can handle, and probably the most important thing, a title shot due to my performance at Good vs Evil. This is where things get a little tricky, before me lies three options as to which title I can challenge for.

Bogard pauses for a moment, sounds of murmurs can be heard from the crowd, possibly trying to figure out what choices that Cody might have.

Cody Bogard: I could either challenge Matt Stone for the Intercontinental championship and possibly winning the title for the third time. I could choose to face the walking identity crisis that is El Xan Tonto or Gringo Vaxman for the Grizzly Beer title which I've yet to fight for. Then there is the third option where I can challenge my "good pals" the Mavericks, Johnny and Ollie, for the Tag Team titles in my quest to further my legacy here in the PWA. All of these options are rather tempting for me and is probably too much for one person to decide by himself...

A couple of boos can be heard in sheer disappointment that no decision has come from the Crisis Ace.

Cody Bogard: ... or is it?

The boos suddenly become cheers, Cody flashing a small smile across his face after his last statement.

Cody Bogard: For you see, I have a proposition for Lisa and the three champions that I would like them to hear out. I propose that we have the Intercontinental champion face off against the Grizzly Beer champion and the Tag Team champions in a Fatal Four Way match at Rumble in the Bronx to help me evaluate which champion is worth challenging. What will make things ever so interesting is that everyone, including the four competitors, will be left in the dark to how I will be making my evaluation process. I could choose the winner of the match on the grounds that they would bring the best challenge for me, I could pick the person that takes the fall in the match on the grounds that being the weakest of the title holders that they would stand little difficulty for me to defeat, or I could simply decide to challenge the champion that wasn't involved in the pinfall on the grounds of allowing the ones involved in the pin or submission to take care of business between each other, thus preventing any kind of shenanigans to ruin my title chances.

Cody Bogard: That there is the beauty of it all, the mystery surrounding the evaluation should provide enough motivation to all of the champions to give it their all in the match rather than just dogging it. Because I could end up taking that straggler when it’s all said and done, making them wish that they did try to make an effort in convincing me to not choose them. Don't disappoint me guys, your ever fading title chances may hang in the balance... or possibly be numbered, all at the hands of the Crisis Ace.

Bogard's theme plays as he reaches over the ropes and lobs the microphone back over to the ring announcer, as Cody steps in between the ropes to the outside. Cody takes a moment to slap the hands of the fans reaching over the barricade while making his way back up the entrance way. Bogard stops to face the cameras and makes a belt type motion across his waist, serving notice to all of the champions that their time as champion may be soon up by his hands.

Teresa Quaranta vs Marvin Wood

Singles


Teresa starts the match out fast, looking to avenge her loss against Simon Kalis on PWA's other hottest rising prospect - a sliding knee to the chest caught the technical wizard off guard before she nailing a bulldog for a near fall! Eager to keep things going she circled Wood, peppering him with a series of kicks before coming off the ropes with a flying sunset flip, but Wood rolled into a modified Michinoku Driver II for a near fall of his own. Instead of letting her get seperation after the kickout though, Wood stayed on offense, sweeping Teresa off her feet and wearing her down with a sick looking Dragon Clutch. Teresa flails towards the ropes, but Wood leverages her perfectly and transfers to an Indian Leglock, dragging her to the center of the ring - he's decided that the best way to avoid those dangerous kicks is to keep her grounded and work her over - it's a basic strategy, but few people apply the basics as effectively as The Purist.

He proceeded to have sucess (and greatly annoy the crowd) for the next five minutes with a methodical offense, never losing patience to go for an Irish whip or anything of much more impact than a leglock. Finally, Wood makes his first mistake, going to a standing legbar - the laser focus of the offense left him a bit open and Teresa took advantage, leveling him with the Spanish Inquisition flipkick.

She follows up with a series of chops, but Wood rolls through and nails an impressive spin kick to the back of the skull that ricochets Teresa into the turnbuckle, and like that, he goes back to work. He floors Teresa with a clothesline before nailing her with two more flying clotheslines sending her to the mat again, and again! He goes to the well a fourth time and Teresa scores a near fall with a spinebuster before nailing a superkick - Wood cleverly falls though the ropes to prevent a cover, and when Teresa goes to press her advantage, the Purist gives her a thumb to the eye and hit a tiger driver for a near fall!

Regaining faith in his plan, Wood continues, locking in a Texas Cloverleaf and dragging Teresa to the center of the ring, looking for a submission. Still blinded from the eye gouge, she reaches out for the ropes, but can't quite reach them, and Wood releases the hold, stomping at the back of her skull and lifting her into a Figure Four leglock. Teresa winces as she's bounced up and down in the hold, but finally elbows her way out before more damage can be done to her limbs - she rockets off the ropes looking for a high impact move, but stumbles forward - right into the Imperfect Science - she floats over, making a quick rollup -

It only gets a two count. Wood goes for a small package and gets a two, Teresa goes for the Imperfect Science or something with a similar set-up, which Wood very easily counters with a nasty European uppercut. He charges, and Teresa flips him into a matchbook pin, just barely securing a 1, 2, 3 -

Wood is up practically as soon as the pin is counted, insisting that he beat the referees count, but either way, Teresa is halfway up the ramp, hopping away and celebrating a win before the officials can even think to reverse it.

Commercial!


Cool Announcer Dude: Hey there everybody! My name's you don't give a fuck what it is, so let's not waste any time that you could be watching a Matt Stone promo!

The Cool Announcer Dude laughs, as does the studio audience in front of him.

Cool Announcer Dude: Like anyone even knows who that is!

The banner unfurls behind him and shows a cool, refreshing bottle of Grizzly BEER being drank by a BEAR, who is wearing a bandana cause he's cool.

Cool Announcer Dude: In begrudging association with the PWA! Grizzly Beer and First Class Felony E-Legal Enterprises are PROUD to give you a new ghetto classic!

The scene behind him changes and the studio audience cheers as we see the NEW...

Cool Announcer Dude: Introducing the ALL NEW Grizzly Beer Malt Liqour KALIS Edition! That's right folks, not only do you get the rough, hard drinking taste of Grizzly Beer you're used to! But now you get it in a forty ounce bottle of malt liqour ghetto fabolous Kalis greatness! Just ask some of our test subject customers how they enjoyed them!

***THESE ARE NOT PAID ACTORS***

We quickly see two gangbangin' homies sitting on their porch with forty's of Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour.

Homie 1: Sure, the nigga ain't ever been Grizzly Beer Champ!

Homie 2: But the man know's how to brew some good brew, word.

We then see a young blonde white woman with screaming kids in her living room.

White Woman: Yeah, my kids get a little crazy sometimes! They're just BUNDLES OF FUN!

She laughs hysterically while pulling her hair out and eating it.

White Woman: But I KNOW THE SOLUTION!

We see her drinking a fresh cool refreshing bottle of Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour while one of her sons drowns the other in the pool behind her. She seems much more relaxed now.

White Woman: Now I can relax easily without worrying about my crazy god damn kids. Plus the hairballs go down easier with Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour. Great upgrade from the Draino I was using before! SO GET SOME ASSHOLES!

We now see Simon Kalis in a strip club with a bunch of naked women around him. They're clearly holding onto something in his pants and it isn't a beer, but that's what he has!

Simon Kalis: So after Mark Sommers forced me out of the PWA management, took me off the Board of Directors and basically bought my half of the PWA back. I had all this money with no idea what to do with it. So I figured why not make everyone as happy as me!

Kalis stands up and the entire background around him changes from the strip club to a dark alley.

Simon Kalis: Despite the common belief, I'm not just some gangster with a gun!

Kalis takes a cool refreshing chug and the scene behind him switches quickly to a rooftop building. The Spykeman! sign is shining in the sky and Kalis smiles, shrugging his shoulders.

Simon Kalis: Contrary to the rumors you may have heard, I don't dress up in girly little green tights and pretend to be an autistic superhero.

Kalis smashes the Spyke Signal with his elbow and the scene changes quickly to a board room.

Simon Kalis: Truth is, you're probably wondering how I got a three minute commercial. But really, we all know the answer to that!

Kalis takes another chug of the beer and "ahhh's" in relief and pleausre as we switch back to the Cool Announcer Dude standing next to Kalis, the two homies and the white woman.

Everyone: IT'S KALIS!

Cool Announcer Dude: And now he has his own beer with Grizzly Beer!

Simon Kalis: It's Kalis, baby.

Kalis holds the Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour out and smiles as the married white woman rips off her shirt and starts grinding her ass on his crotch while the two homies C-walk with the forties in their hands.

Cool Announcer Dude: GET YOURS TODAY!

Spykeman! vs Cody Bogard

Singles Match


Spykeman! starts things off with a beautiful hip toss that sends Bogard to the canvas. Bogard is back up, ducks a clothesline attempt from PWA's resident superhero but gets nailed in the back of the head by a reverse elbow that Spykeman! throws out instinctively. Bogard bounces off the ropes and Spykeman! hits a reverse DDT on The Crisis Ace, quickly rolling him up but only getting a 2 count. Bogard is up and locks in a wristlock on Spykeman! but the crowd chants his name, giving Spykeman! all the energy he needs to reverse himself out of it. Spykeman! with a waistlock on Bogard but Bogard sends some elbows back towards Spykeman!. Spykeman! ducks the first two but Bogard fakes the third, landing it right into Spykeman!'s ribs. Spykeman! lets go of the hold and stumbles back, and Bogard tackles him to the canvas and only gets a 1 count as he pins him. Spykeman! is back on his feet quickly and lashes out at Bogard, nailing him with repeated thrust kicks to the face, neck and chest. Bogard stumbles back but sweeps Spykeman! off of his feet and then locks in a crossface chickenwing hold. He applies a lot of pressure but the crowd feeds Spykeman! a ton of energy, enough for Spykeman! to reach the ropes and force Bogard to break the hold. Bogard gets up, as does Spykeman! but Bogard misses with a lariat, he turns around and IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME! Bogard hits the canvas hard and Spykeman! covers for the 1, 2, 3 and the impressive victory.

Commercial: The Sequel


The camera feed cuts to a cramped aisle in the Ford Center. Simon Kalis is in black, surrounded by about twenty intimidating looking men in Nixon masks (not to mention the girls? Did we mention the girls? There are girls) going up the stairs , pushing bystanders and fans out of the way. Kalis ascends the steps, microphone in hand.

Simon Kalis: Right now, you're looking at... an ascent. Right now I am on my way up to the luxury box. Wait, I need to correct myself. I am on my way to my luxury BOXES. With one flick of the wrist, I put myself on a level most people can't hope to imagine.

Kalis gets the divided reaction that's become his trademark - most of the fans jeet and throw paper, some cheer wildly, but everyone is on their feet.

Simon Kalis: And that exact same thing is going to happen next week. Christmas at Ground Zero is going to mark my climb to PWA's highest peak, and nobody - NOBODY... has what it takes to knock me off that summit.

Kalis straightens his tie and spreads his cane as he takes his seat in a big plush chair while Ebony feeds him grapes and Ivory waves a giant fan to keep him cool.

Simon Kalis: Yeah I know these luxury boxes have air conditioning, but I find this is much more demeaning for you sweety.

Ivory nods with her little creepy Nixon mask smiling back at Simon, probably hiding her frayed nerves and digust.

Simon Kalis: Ohhh ohhh, everyone shut up! My next commercial is coming!

We fade back to the studio with the Cool Announcer Dude who's got a shit eating grin on his face!

Cool Announcer Dude: In association with Bada-Bing Clothing LTD, the lesser known Guilty & Black Gun Co. and First Class Felony E-Legal Enterprises!

We see the two homies from the previous commercial as they finish up their Kalis Malt Liqour.

Homie 2: So me and my homie, you know, once we done gettin' crunk an shit.

Homie 1: We like to roll up on slippin' niggaz.

Homie 2: Now this is usually hard, you know we gotta be coshus and shit. But not no mo'! Why's dat homie?!

Homie 1: Well homie, we rollin in FCF GEAYAH! THA'S RIGHT!

They throw up the hoods to their very puffy winter jackets, let's ignore the fact they seem to be in Los Angeles.

Homie 2: FCF makes the type of clothes for you, when you wanna go from Barack Obama to Malcolm X on a nigga.

Homie 1: This way, you always prepared for bidness. 'Cause you never know when you stop bein' an upstandin African-American citizen an shit, and start bein' a nigga feel me homies?!

The camera splitscreens, showing them sitting on their porch before drinking Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour with the word "UPSTANDING CITIZENS" underneath in bold letters. The other half shows them pulling the ski masks down over their face and the word "NIGGAZ" flashing in white and yellow text.

Homie 2: I feels you dawg, I feels you.

They crouch and begin moving toward a small gathering of like-dim witted individuals in baggy clothes sitting on their porch.

Homie 1: *whispering* Now ya see, popo could be lookin' for us after we do dis thang. But FCF makes sure we're as slick as KY jelly in ya mamas ass up in dis!

Homie 2 slaps his back and amongst all the puffy puffs of his jacket, Homie 1 zips it down to reveal an entire arsenal of weapons like an ammo box on his back.

Homie 2: FCF makes sure you don't gotta go to the matresses, but the matresses always go wit'chu!

They each grab collapsable Uzi's with the leather grip, marked "FCF" with the emblem on the sides.

Homie 1: Hell they make the guns that go perfectly into the gear nah'm sayin Gs?! So you wanna talk 'bout Hoodie Ninjas?! We some Hood Ninjas ya heard?!?!

Homie 2: So when you need to handle yo bidness, trust three lettaz! Eff See Eff ya'll!

Homie 1: Thanks Kalis!

They both get up and just as they open fire on the unsuspecting group of upstanding citizens, we switch back to the White Woman housewife from before. She's smiling, although half her hair is gone and strands of it hang from her mouth.

White Woman: Sometimes, alcohol isn't enough. Not when you find out one of your fucked up kids drowned the other while you were drinking. So sometimes you need to go National TV on their silly little butts with a little murder-suicide!

She holds up her glittery white "FCF" handbag.

White Woman: And FCF has just the thing you need ladies!

She opens it up and shows that inside is her wallet and makeup kit.

White Woman: When dolling up has gone STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GOD DAMN WINDOW!

She shows us the hidden zipper in the handbag and unzips it, removing to show an entirely hidden bottom compartment with a small .38 snub nosed FCF Special and Kalis Kombat Knife as it's marked.

White Woman: Sadly, I used the bullets in this great gun on my husband before you guys got back.

She turns around and waves with the knife in her hand to her last son who looks obviously scared and tied up, while we see a body floating in the pool and a pair of legs sticking out from behind the shed.

White Woman: So when the going gets tough, the tough get cutting! Thanks Kalis!

She lunges at her son with the knife but the scene quickly changes back to the studio audience, who all seem to be happy. Kalis steps out next to the Cool Announcer Dude and smiles as he shows off his cool silver cane.

Simon Kalis: So whether you're a ghetto crack head from the hood, or an overly stressed, overly worked methed out housewife in suburban Connecticut, you can be sure that FCF E-Legal Enterprises has something for you! And guess what everyone?!

Studio Audience: WHAT?!

Simon Kalis: You're all going home NOT ONLY with a case of your very own Grizzly Beer Kalis Malt Liqour! But!

Kalis taps the the cane on the ground and the curtain rolls up behind him.

Simon Kalis: Gentlemen you're getting your very own shotgun walking cane like mine right here, and ladies you're getting the same FCF handbag you just saw!

The studio audience goes nuts like we're on Oprah as we see the two homies from before on the screen behind Kalis getting patted down by the cops. They both smile as the cops frown face and shrug at being unable to find the weapons. We also see the crime scene tape from that white womans house with the neighbors being interviewed by CNN and the words "THANKS KALIS" written in blood across the back of the house, but Kalis quickly steps in front of that screen and smiles.

Cool Announcer Dude: So folks, again!

Simon Kalis: If you're wondering how come you just had to sit through another three minute commercial of mine, and I'm talking to you assholes at PWA Radio, do you really have to ask?!

Kalis throws his arms up and smiles as the crowd in the studio jumps up and yells...

Studio Audience: THAT'S KALIS!

A voice in the wrestling ring (remember those?) clears her throat.

Voice: THAT'S AWFUL.

The commercial cuts, and the feed shows Teresa Quaranta, pacing back and forth with a mic, glaring up at Kalis in the luxury box high up there.

Teresa Quaranta: Simon, you should really, really leave the talky comedy show bits to Fake Ivory Coast. Because you are terrible. Dancing girls, collapsable Uzis, weird fetishes for white women? You set the black race back 50 years. Which sets me back about 20 years or so, and that is NOT OK! If I drink the pain of your promos away at that age, I'll die of fucking alcohol poisioning!

Simon leans out of the window and leers.

Simon Kalis: Hey what's your problem?

Teresa Quaranta: My problem is that last week... you had a huge win. And now you're polluting the airwaves with garbage and turning PWA into a MadTV skit. Those extras you've got jumping around in that commercial aren't half as happy as this locker room's going to be when you lose your title match next week - or when I go up those steps and throw you through that glass window and kill this whole First Class Felon thing right at the root.

Kalis shakes his head and straightens his tie.

Simon Kalis: Teresa, I'm not here to fight. I did that last week, remember? I'm here to celebrate. And I don't know anything about the FCF being spraypainted on Riona and Zout. Soooomebody must have just... taken some initiative.

He smiles cooly. And then adopts a more dangerous expression.

Simon Kalis: Now get out of that ring - my ring - before I have my boys dispose of you.

Teresa Quaranta: Okay. Bring out Daniel Kalis. Bring out Masakazu. Bring out Maya. The whole Kalis family, one for every ethnicity. And I'll watch my back for Kumar Kalis, Wakim Kalis, Bobby Joe Kalis, Dances With Fucktards Kalis...

Simon Kalis: I'm not going to be baited by you. The only woman that's going to be 'baiting me are these hot bitches right here.

A loud crack as Teresa audibly facepalms.

Teresa Quaranta: Okay, Simon. If that's how you want to do it, don't say I didn't warm you.

She waves at him sweetly and leaves the ring. Kalis watches with concern for a few seconds, but is quickly distracted by a lapdance.

Meghan Nash Strader vs Katie James

Singles Match


Jon McDaniel: I'm excited about this one Brian, its Meghan's first match without having to wear the lucha libre wear!

Brian Rentfro: And its not just some lower card goon she's up against either. Its one half of the reason she and her sister aren't the PWA Tag Team Champions anymore!


"Wretches and Kings" by Linkin Park begins playing and the crowd begins booing loudly as Katie James struts onto the stage and puts her hand up to the crowd, smirking.

Eric Emerson: She hails from Panama City, Florida...

She moves to each side of the stage, strutting her stuff, then comes back to the center of the stage before walking down the ramp, shaking her ass along the way.

Eric Emerson: Representing Bound by Blood...

Towards the bottom of the ramp, she stops and turns back to the stage, then points as a quick burst of pink pyro goes off in the center of the stage. Katie turns back and laughs, rolls into the ring.

Eric Emerson: She is the Starr Diva of PWA... she is KATIE... JAAAAAMESSSSS!!!

Katie puts her hand up to the crowd once more and smirks, then walks over to the corner across the ring and leans against it, rolling her head back and forth as the music fades. "Unchanied” begins to play as the houselights slowly dim. At the twelve second mark lights begin to flicker as the beat and rhythm of the song begin to become louder.

~Alright!
Haaa-ha-ha-ha!
You say, I cannot get there from here, baby
Then I don't care where I'm goin'~

Eric Emerson: Introducing to you next…


The ADCtron lights up with the chrome ‘S’ emblem and explodes into shots of MNS, smacking the taste out Shadow Starr’s mouth with a kick to the jaw, stepping on Ai Mei’s skull, pinning Corey Lazarus one two three and the last shot of her being her holding one half of the PWA Tag Team Titles. Her name flashes on the screen, and a small amounts of pyro’s shoot off as MNS steps out from behind the curtain followed by her sister and manager Tamika Nash Strader.

~Thought you'd never miss me till I got a fat city address
Non-stop talker, what a rocker
Blue-eyed murder in a size five dress~


Eric Emerson: Hailing from London, Ontario Canada at a height of five foot ten and weighing in at one hundred and forty-five pounds…

~Change, nothin' stays the same
Unchained, and ya hit the ground runnin'
Change, ain't nothin' stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground runnin'~


Meghan stops and waves at the crowd as she shifts her hips to the right side. She makes her way down to ringside followed by her baby sister Tamika Strader.

Eric Emerson: Meghan Nash STRADERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

~I know, I don't ask for permission
This is my chance to fly
Maybe enough ain't enough for you
But it's my turn at a try~

Meghan smacks the hands of a few fans.

~ Thought you'd never miss me till I got a fat city address
Non-stop talker, what a rocker
Blue-eyed murder in a size five dress ~

Meghan stops halfway down, looks side to side, raises up her arms and the entire stage explodes in gold and silver pyrotechnics as a wide grin comes across Meghan’s face.

~Change, nothin' stays the same
Unchained, and ya hit the ground runnin'
Change, ain't nothin' stays the same
Unchained, yeah ya hit the ground runnin'~

At that Meghan turns it into a stride and slides under the bottom rope into the ring and jumps up to the top turnbuckle as she raises her fist in the air. She steps down, and goes nose to nose with Katie James.

DING DING!

Katie James and MNS circle each other in the ring. MNS moves in and tries to wrap James up, but James breaks away and nails MNS with a forearm to the head. Katie shoves MNS into the corner and then dropkicks her. MNS leans back in the corner from the impact and then James tries a corner splash, but Meghan moves out of the way just in time. Katie James bounces back from the corner splash and MNS wraps up James from behind with a back body drop. James crashes to the mat. MNS gets James to her feet and grabs her by the head and connects with punishing knee and fist strikes. MNS wraps Katie up in a front facelock and then plants her into the mat with a DDT. MNS tries for a cover...

1

2

Kick out!

Jon McDaniel: We almost had our first fall there. But Meghan looking good on the offense!

Brian Rentfro: Yep, Meghan is awesome.

MNS gets James to her feet and nails her with an elbow. MNS sends Katie into the ropes and James bounces back. MNS bends over to lift James up, but James flips over MNS and rolls MNS up in a pin!

1

2


Brian Rentfro: What the...

Jon McDaniel: Woo, close call for Strader on that one.

Brian Rentfro: Well, Katie James will have to do a lot more than that to win this match.

MNS back up on her feet and begins to trade left and rights with Katie James. Katie throws what looks a like a devasting right hand as Meghan falls to one knee.

Jon McDaniel: Slugging contest went in favor to Ms James. Her face says she really wants and needs this win over Strader.

Katie James whips MNS into the ropes and James tries for a dropkick, but MNS stops on a dime and barely dodges her. Katie crashes to the mat but tries to get up immediately. MNS swarms in and nails James with a right punch. MNS goes left to right, hitting James with all the power she has. She throws in some knee strikes to Katie's stomach. MNS hip tosses James to the mat. Meghan goes into the ropes and moonsaults off the second rope. She connects and covers.

1

2

Kick out!

Brian Rentfro: James kicks out right after two, come on Meghan take her down will ya?.

Jon McDaniel: Shaping up to be a memorable Chaos.


MNS gets James to her feet and slams her into the turnbuckle. James bounces backwards and MNS takes her down with a roundhouse kick. Meghan goes to pump up the crowd, but Katie is back to her feet very quickly and takes down Meghan with the Steady Shot. Katie puts Strader in a camel clutch!

Jon McDaniel: Katie James locks in a camel clutch looking for the submission!

Brian Rentfro: She took your titles and your sister’s career! Get her Meghan!

Jon McDaniel: It’s the nature of a competitive sport Brian, get over it!

Brian Rentfro: Strader is trying to get to those ropes, but it does not look like it’s working. Katie’s power is keeping her from getting anywhere, and Strader is starting to look like she’ll pass out.

Strader looks to be passing out, and referee Dwayne Cross picks up her arm. Fall.

1!

Katie is trying to tighten the hold, and Dwayne Cross picks up Strader's arm again.

2!

Katie looks to be beaming.

Jon McDaniel: One more time and Katie could win!

Brian Rentfro: I hope not, GO MEGHAN!!

Dwayne Cross picks up Strader's arm again, and it stays up!

The fans in the arena start cheering loudly as energy starts to soar throughout her body. She manages to grab the ropes and Dwayne makes Katie break the hold. Katie goes to kick Strader in the midsection, but Strader grabs her leg and twists it hard to the right, sending Katie James to the mat.

Crowd: M-N-S! M-N-S! M-N-S!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, cheer her on people!

Katie James gets up to her feet and runs at Meghan. Meghan meets James near the corner as Meghan hooks Katies neck with with her hands and runs up the turnbuckle and lands –

Jon McDaniel: a bit of Vengeance for Meghan Nash Strader!

Meghan gets up, and makes a cutthroat motion as she leaps up to the top ropes. She pumps her fist in the air and yells ‘Hell Yeah’ before leaping off the turnbuckle with a 630 degree senton and corkscrew.

Brian Rentfro: CEMETERY GATES! She covers!!!!

Meghan hooks the leg Katie James.

1

2

3!!!!!!

Eric Emerson: And your winner of the match by pinfall, MEGHAN NASH STRADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raizzor vs. Rayn

First Blood Match


The lights through the arena dim down as green lazers and spot lights fill the arena as an erie instrumental begins to play across the speakers. Only moments after the musical notes begin playing, a melodic voice begins to sing the opening verse.

)My pain filled drama queen is always screaming at your bed
Getting ready to buy you out
'Cause we all know
What goes around comes around
You should've known what I was all about
Do not test me(

Rayn steps through the curtain, walking into a fixed spot light on the stage. He drops to a knee for a moment, appearing to be praying. Then as the angelic voice begins singing the chorus be stands back to his feet, raising his arms above his head.

Eric Emmerson: Making his way to the ring, he weighs in at two hundred thirty two pounds...

)Cause I'm the fucking king of the world
Get on your knees
I'm the fucking king of the world
Do as I please(

Daniel starts walking to the ring slowly, the fans giving a mixed reaction to the new attitude of their former hero as he looks out at the croud, his face telling the people nothing.

Eric Emmerson: He's a former eight time world heavyweight champion, The Acidic Prophet...

)So get up and get out and I'll show you
What it means for me to control you
'Cause I'm the fucking king of the world(

Rayn slides under the bottom rope, standing in the ring and quickly walking over to the nearest corner. He steps up onto the middle turn buckle, raising his arms above his head, crossing them at the wrists o make an "X".

Eric Emmerson: HE IS DANIEL KALIS!!!

Rayn hops off the turn buckle, walking to the opposite side of the ring and climbing up onto the ropes, bouncing on them a little as he raises his right arm above his head, using his lef as support to balance. The croud continues to give a mixed reaction, just a slight bit more cheering for him than not. He pulls his jersey off and tosses it out into the croud, his new "King of the World" shirt on display as he waits for the bell.

Eric Emerson: And now…hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada……

A striking rift signals the beginning of “Vengeance” by Dream Evil and the lights blink out, save for one shining spotlight on the stage. Words flow from the speakers as the fans rise as one to face the stage, a huge pop resounding throughout the entire arena.

I have worked for nothing, slaved in vain
All those years that I've been pushed around
They better watch their backs now, those who gave me pain
'Cause vengeance screams their names tonight

Pyros explode on each side of the entrance as steam rises up through the grates of the stage.

All of you sinners
You better run and try to hide
You've all been dreaming
So you better hide to stay alive

Stepping from the cloudy smoke, wrapped in his long black duster and head down, Raizzor appears.

Marching out now, out to kill
The rain of blood has just begun
Blocked emotions now released
In darkness you will fear my name


Eric Emerson: Weighing in at 285lbs, he is The Soul-Taker; RAIZZOR!!!

All of you sinners
You better run and try to hide
You've all been dreaming
So you better hide to stay alive
All of you sinners

Stalking down the ramp, Raizzor’s eyes do not leave the ring, projecting fear to all who stand within it. He turns and silently climbs the steps as the song continues its shrill warning.

Can you hear me?
I'm closing in on you
Can't you feel it...

Through the ropes he slips, shrugging his leather duster off in one clean move. Muscles rippling under his elbow length sleeves, Raizzor rotates his arms to loosen himself up, never once taking his gaze off the center of the ring and anyone who happens to be in his sights.

I will show no mercy you will not survive
'Cause vengeance screams your names tonight!

Uncharacteristically, Raizzor proffers a slight smile, suggesting painful vengeance to come and turns to push his chest against the ropes and spread his arms wide to the crowd, as if wishing to engulf them all into his soul. This causes a massive reaction as the crowd explodes with louder cheers.

All of you sinners
You better run and try to hide
You've all been dreaming
So you better hide to stay alive

As the song dies, Raizzor turns and awaits the bell’s toll.

Ding Ding

Raizzor stares across the ring at Rayn, but Raizzor gives no sense of fear as Rayn holds the steel chair in his hand. Referee Dwayne Cross steps back from the two min as they collide. Rayn tosses the chair, ducking down and to the right where Raizzor plants a knee right up into his face. Rayn backs up from the impact allowing Raizzor to drive a meaty fist right into his face. Rayn backs up, Raizzor pressing his advantage with a second and a third fist to the face.

Jon McDaniel: Raizzor not using weapons here, just his left and right fists.

Brian Rentfro: He'll wish he had.

Rayn holds at his cheek, Raizzor with a clothesline, but as Rayn goes to climb up Raizzor nails him right in the go-nads with a low blow!

Brian Rentfro: Come on, that ain't fair!

Jon McDaniel: The only rule in this match is for you to make your opponent bleed first.

Raizzor grunts with the force of the impact as he nails Rayn with a clothesline in the corner. Raizzor looks deep into Rayn's face as he fires a fist right at Daniel's nose, but Daniel blocks with a knee into Raizzor's inner thigh. Raizzor grunts from the impact, turning away from the onslaught from Rayn.

Brian Rentfro: Way to show that cheater!

Rayn leaps from the second turnbuckle with a bulldog taking Raizzor down just before he hits the chair. Rayn pulls him back up, nailing him with a flurry of rights and lefts until he is in the ropes. Irish whip sends Raizzor running and Rayn has the chair. Rayn with a running leap and swing, but Raizzor ducks under the swing. Raizzor with the rebound boots the chair right into Rayn's face. Rayn drops to one knee, shoving his fist right into Raizzor's midsection halting the Soul-taker. Raizzor bends over from the sudden impact, Rayn with a swinging neckbreaker takes him down. Rayn off the ropes, springboard backflip onto Raizzor into a mounting position. Rayn begins to pummel Raizzor with rights and lefts in hopes of ripping open some flesh. Raizzor has other ideas as ehe barrel rolls Rayn over onto his back throwing down with right and lefts fists of his own.

Jon McDaniel: They are rolling around like kids on a schoolyard!

Brian Rentfro: Ain't it great?!

Rayn brings a knee up into Raizzor's midsection then a thumb to the eye to get Sommers off him. Rayn follows through with a right hook to the jaw and Raizzor is completely off him. Rayn with a whip sends Raizzor into the corner, him following in with a swinging steel chair to the back. Raizzor absorbs the impact, stumbling back where Rayn trips him up with a leg sweep onto the steel chair. Rayn rips at the area that makes contact with the chair, in hopes of tearing open a wound there. Raizzor rolls over throwing a right hook of his own, but Rayn pulls him up to his feet. Rayn with a kick to the ribs, and Raizzor goes down on one knee. Rayn with a whip, but Raizzor counters sending Rayn into the ropes. Raizzor follows quickly sending Rayn over with a big boot to the face and Rayn is on the outside. Raizzor steps through the ropes, dropping an elbow onto Rayn's chest for good measure.

Brian Rentfro: What, no dive?

Jon McDaniel: Raizzor not willing to risk busting himself open there, I say it is a smart move.

Raizzor lifts Rayn up to his feet, whip into the post, but Rayn swings around it. Rayn back in the ring on the swing to come on back around kicking Raizzor right in the face. Raizzor falls back from the kick, wiping at his cheek as spittle flies from his mouth. Rayn leaps from the apron driving a flying elbow into Raizzor's shoulder then face planting him into the announcers' table.

Brian Rentfro: The action is right here in front of us and has Rayn in the lead by a country mile.

Jon McDaniel: Never count out Raizzor.

Brian Rentfro: That is unless a woman is punching him and the match is for like the World Title or something.

Rayn lifts the head back up, but Raizzor plants an elbow into Rayn's ribs and the crowd jump up wanting this. Raizzor with a second elbow, then it is his turn to slam Rayn's face into the table. Raizzor grunts with the force of his punches and any move he performs, showing how much intensity he is putting behind each blow. Raizzor with a knee lift into Rayn's face and a third face slam into the table. Raizzor whips Rayn into the railing landing a knee into his midsection for good measure as Raizzor has taken the momentum of this match. Raizzor with a whip sends Rayn face first into the post, he comes back but still no blood and this match continues. Rayn right into the waiting clutches of Raizzor who forgoes the chokeslam in favor of a tombstone shoulder... no piledriver right onto a chair left by Rayn!

Brian Rentfro: See, he can't do any damage without a weapon, the cheater.

Jon McDaniel: Need I remind you that Rayn brought weapons and Raizzor brought only himself?

Cross cannot count either man out, but is intently watching the action for any indication that one of the men is bleedling. Raizzor presses his advantage with a stomp to the head of Rayn before pulling him back up to his feet. Raizzor isn't moving fast, but is pounding away with methodical precision. Raizzor with a military press dumps Rayn back into the ring before rolling in under the bottom rope. Rayn gets to a kneeling position as Raizzor begins to stand back inside the squared circle. Raizzor comes over lifting him up to a vertical base.

Jon McDaniel: Rayn just spit in Raizzor's eyes!

Brian Rentfro: I think Rayn must be sick, he just sneezed into Raizzor's face... Cazoontight Rayn!

Rayn with a vicious slap and a smirk as Raizzor falls back into the corner. Rayn rushes in with a leap and a mount in the corner. Rayn begins to rain down right fists into Raizzor's upturned face, reddening the skin on his forehead, but no blod as of yet. Raizzor lifts hiim up, bringing him center ring for a spinebuster, but Rayn counters with a sit out facebuster onto the canvas.

Brian Rentfro: Even through his cold, Rayn is dominating Raizzor, the old fart must have lost it.

Jon McDaniel: Neither man is dominating the other, hence why the match is still ongoing.

Rayn pulls Raizzor up, smirking as he just digs his fingernails into Raizzor's flesh trying to tear him open instead of merely busting him open with a weapon.

Brian Rentfro: Look at Rayn checking to see if Raizzor still has a pulse, such consideration.

Raizzor begins to push himself up vertically, but Rayn is there to stop the movement with a boot right into the face. Rayn pulls Raizzor back up however, slamming him repeatedly in the midsection with blow after vicious blow.

Brian Rentfro: Rayn with CPR on Raizzor, evidently he doesn't have a pulse.

Rayn folds Raizzor's arms into the ropes and with a unkind slap charges at Raizzor with a steel chair in hand.

*WHAM!*

The chair comes down right on Raizzor's boot as it is forced back into Rayn's face. Rayn goes down, but Cross is in the way and as predicted is out cold from the merest touch!

Jon McDaniel: Cross is out!

Here comes Lucious Starr! Starr slides into the ring, sledge hammer in hand, staring at Raizzor with a devilish smile on his face. Starr charges at Raizzor, but the Soul-taker flips himself over the top rope, shoving his now free shoulder into Starr's midsection. Lucious drops the sledgehammer and Raizzor is back in the ring with rapid quick movement. Raizzor lifts Lucious Starr up, tossing him into the corner where he slams forehead first on the ringpost. Starr stands back up for a moment before his eyes roll up into the back of his head and he crumples down to the mat out cold.

Jon McDaniel: Raizzor taking care of business here.

Brian Rentfro: Why did he have to go and pick on Lucious for?

Raizzor lifts Dwayne Cross up to his feet, waking him up with a little shaking.

Brian Rentfro: Now he is manhandling a PWA Referee!

Raizzor points down to Rayn, who's face is covered in blood. Dwayn gulps as he stares back at Raizzor and nods.

Ding Ding

Eric Emerson: Winner of the match as a result of drawing first blood.... Raizzor!

Jon McDaniel: Raizzor wins a tough fought battle here.

Brian Rentfro: That he had to bully his way into winning.

Commercial: The Sequel Sequel Sequel


As the competitors leave the ring, the lights slowly fade in the house as a spotlight appears, once again, on Simon Kalis' mega-sized luxury box.

Simon Kalis: That was great, wasn't it? Raizzor and Rayn, two morons killing each other for absolutely no reason. Give it up, everybody.

Kalis laughs as his crew of Felons share in his laugher (of course).

Simon Kalis: It was ultimately violent, and ultimately offensive. But it was ultimately... meaningless. Because neither of those men are going to be world champion after Christmas at Ground Zero. Neither of those men are the best. I am. And a night of epic violence doesn't end until I say it ends... and it's ending right now. I'm ready for my nightcap, so LISA GET OUT HERE! I've got a limo waiting to whisk us away on a wonderful post-Chaos adventure! And as a sign of good faith...

Kalis reaches into his pockets and drops a bunch of odd-looking pills on the ground.

Simon Kalis: I'm not bringing any roofies with me. I respect you a lot.

Kalis nods his head and smirks for a while. But there's nothing but silence.

Simon Kalis: Now Lisa. I beat your girl. One. Two. Three. So the sooner you come out and -

The words are cut off by music, but it's the opening to Arcarsenal. Teresa enters, cleaned up nicely from the match with Marvin Wood and wearing a sleek black dress. Kalis laughs.

Simon Kalis: I'm honored. I really am. You know, I had a real feeling that you were gonna take me up on that date offer. But I had no fucking idea... that you wanted it so bad... that you'd be willing to share with your boss. Well the Escalade is stretch for a reason, baby, and you better believe that I'LL BE THE GODDAMN BOSS TONIGHT!

Kalis pops a bottle of champagne, takes a swig, and gives a big, cheesy grin. Teresa nods her head grimly, and then pops up, smiling almost as wide.

Teresa Quaranta: Well... that would be great, it really would. But I think, for a lady, it's proper to have standards. For example, I wouldn't willingly associate with a bug eyed jumped up wanna be thug slash federale with an army of lame, interchangable lackeys and dirty, disgusting women in tacky tees.

Kalis' smile turns into a sudden frown as the crowd cheers.

Teresa Quaranta: And... I wouldn't feel secure dating some guy that had to walk me to the restaurant. I mean, there's a lot of scary guys out there in the streets and you're pretty bad at fighting, so...

Simon Kalis: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WAIT. I think all that cold air put a chill on your brain. I didn't just come here with A car. I brought enough rides to start a dealership if I felt like it. Of course, I wouldn't start a car dealership in Ohio - none of these broke fools could afford to ride like the FCF rides.

The crowd boos majorly, but Teresa keeps an even wider grin on her face.

Teresa Quaranta: Are you talking about those cars out in the parking lot? Because there used to be vehicles there, but now there are a lot of really expensive pieces of scrap metal.

Kalis' face falls.

Teresa Quaranta: Yeah the cops are going to have to tow away the wreckage.

Simon Kalis: WRECKAGE? Bitch, if the cops are out there towing my cars -

Teresa holds a couple of hands up in panic.

Teresa Quaranta: No no no, it's nothing like that. The cops can't tow your cars... at least not until the fire department is finished with them.

She waves her hands and the camera pans up the tron - it shows a parking lot full of very expensive new cars - all of which have bee set on fire. Kalis grabs his head and shakes it back and forth, mouth slacked in complete disbelief.

Simon Kalis: I'm gonna kill you!

Teresa Quaranta: Me? I didn't have anything to do with it? But I mean, sooooomeone mysteriously must have burnt a million or so dollars of yours to a crisp. But it's okay, because that same sooooomeone was nice enough to leave a gift behind.

Teresa waves an envelope - it reads "To Simon, But Not From Teresa", obviously in some very familiar handwritng. She pulls out the gift and pulls her hair in shock.

Teresa Quaranta: Look at that, it's tickets to Oklahoma City's Rapid Transit Authority. The METRO is gonna make sure that you and your posse get to ride through Central Oklahoma in style. Now Simon, I saved you a seat at the very back of the bus, I figured!

Simon gives out a long, wordless scream and he and his crew rush out of the luxury box, presumably to attack Teresa. She just shrugs her shoulders and looks into the camera.

Teresa Quaranta: Luckily, since he's all the way up there on Mount Olympus, I'll be long gone by the time he gets there, especially if I stay off the bus route! Thanks for enjoying another exciting episode of PWA action, be sure to join us for Christmas at Ground Zero when we determine the fate of Lucious Starr's soul, the PWA title will be on the line, and I'll be doing some wacky thing or another. Special thanks to all the fans here in the Ford Center for buying tickets, and to Mr. and Mrs. Simon Kalis for giving birth to such an amusing little man. For Lisa, Chamelion, Brian, Jon, and the rest of the PWA team, I'm Teresa Quaranta. Good night, everybody.

Teresa casually walks off and the camera cuts to Kalis and his guys, still slowly coming down the steps as the PWA logo fades to black.

After The Beat


We are in the mens locker room. A few slackers are finishing up packing their stuff and walking out. The camera pans a little bit, and you begin to hear what sounds like snoring. After panning a little more, we find Ash Nukem asleep in a cubbie against the wall. Next to him, holding an Xbox 36o controller, we finish Jacob Figgins. After all this time, Figgins is STILL placing his pieces.

Figgins: Alright, so I want one guy in Argentina...but then that leaves this country open, so I'd rather just put three guys here, and

Everything goes black as the arena's power is cut.

Figgins: NO FAIR!

Nukem is heard snapping out of his nap before we hear a loud thud, which we can only assume is Nukem hitting his head on the cubbie.

Nukem:...OOOWWW.

Figgins: HAH-HAH.

Fade out.