World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick

Starring Johnny Maverick and Jethro Hayes

Earlier This Week

Johnny kicks open the door to Lisa Seldon’s office excitedly; he appears to have a large piece of poster board with him as well as a tray of brownies.

Johnny Maverick: LISA! LISA! LISA!

Lisa Seldon: I'm....I'm right here, Johnny. What do you want?

There is a long pause.

Lisa Seldon: You already forgot, didn't you?

Johnny Maverick: Nnnnnnnnoooooooo.

Johnny takes a moment to casually glance at his own diagram on the poster board.

Johnny Maverick: Right! I have a proposal concerning my upcoming match BUT FIRST! You have to try these brownies.

Lisa had apparently never been taught not to take brownies from wide-eyed maniacs who kick down doors, so she takes one and has a bite as Johnny produces a nail gun seemingly from nowhere and nails his poster board to the wall. He finishes his 'Monster BFC' and kicks the can out the door like he's kicking a field goal. We hear someone say 'OW'

Johnny Maverick: BOOM! HEADHSOT!

Lisa Seldon: Wow, these are pretty strong brownies.

Johnny Maverick: Ha. Yeah. Fun cooking fact, you can put mescaline in pretty much anything.

Lisa Seldon: That's Science!

Johnny Maverick: Anyway, the name of the game is 'Shop til You Drop!' Jethro Hayes and Johnny Maverick duke it out in an abandoned mall!

Lisa Seldon: That'll be expensive.

Johnny Maverick: Oh, I haven't even started yet! Ya see before the match starts, Jethro and I each get a shopping cart that we have ten minutes to fill with any implements of destruction we can find in the store. Not only that we can go anywhere we want in the three story mall and there's gonna be all sorts of little goodies hidden around like explosives and shock traps.

Lisa Seldon: Shock traps?

Johnny Maverick: Yeah, like the little electric fences they use to keep animals out of gardens, but ours will be set to 'bear'. Also, all of the railings on the first floor will be wrapped in barbed wire and the railings for the second and third floors will be REMOVED. The 'til you drop' part is indicative of the fact that this will be a 'Last man standing' match.

Lisa Seldon: This sounds crazy dangerous and irresponsible. So I'm with you on that part.

Johnny Maverick: I figured.

Lisa Seldon: But who's got enough money to fund all of this stuff.

Johnny Maverick: Well, my dad wants to consider this a preview of the whole 'King of the Deathmatch' thing that’s coming, so he gave me this.

Johnny puts a credit card on the table.

Lisa Seldon: So, let me get this straight. Your dad, the super-billionaire demon guy, is just gonna give me one of his company credit cards and pay for this whole tournament and this insane little exhibition. Holy hell, all of the colours in this room are mixing together.

Johnny Maverick: Ha, yeah that happens. My dad says he'll foot the bill because he claims he has a way to 'see a profit' from all of this.

Lisa Seldon: Well shit, if he's paying for it, then I guess have fun.

Johnny jumps for joy and gives Lisa a big ole' hug.

Johnny Maverick: YES! You won't regret this. Bye!

Johnny sprints out of the room happily and Lisa sits there staring at her hand for a while before we fade away.

Setting The Stage

A screen jumps from one shot to the next, far back and filled with the view of our arena for this evening. A shopping mall, currently emptied but still lit up for tonight’s proceedings. He hang on this for a few moments before lowering down onto a shot of Lisa Seldon, who looks as radiant as ever you’ll say if you happen to meet her.

She greets us with a wide smile and puts a microphone to her lips.

Lisa Seldon: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another barbaric display of horror, mutilation and good times, brought to you by the combined forces of the PWA, Self~Inflicted Drama and our new brothers in maimery, Crimson Incorporated.

She gives them a little cheer.

Lisa Seldon: I’m your host, Lisa Seldon, alongside my new sidekick, Gary Maverick!

Lisa reaches out to the side and forcibly drags Gary into shot with an arm around his neck. He doesn’t want to be there, but that’s really nothing new.

Lisa Seldon: Tonight is a real treat as we bring together Jethro Hayes and Johnny Maverick in a closed shopping centre and give them the run of the store, all thanks to this guy’s dad.

She tussles Gary’s hair and earns a scowl.

Lisa Seldon: Who, despite having never even spoke to me, handed over his corporate credit card and said: Lisa, please use this money to put your roster in horrible and dangerous situations alongside my children so they’ll know how much I respect them.

Gary Maverick: How do you know he said that if you never spoke to him?

Lisa Seldon: Did I mention it was all his children, Gay-ray, because I’m pretty sure I did.

Gary suddenly finds a lump in his throat that causes him to temporarily lose his voice.

Lisa Seldon: Not only that, but thanks to the fabulous gift of money we’ve been able to mic up our competitors, meaning you’ll get to hear every grunt, scream, curse and hilarious jab as these two competitors put each other through hell. Best of all, you wont even need to hear Gary!

Gary looks a little confused for the few seconds he’s still on your screen, before Lisa pushes him to the floor. The camera closes up on her.

Lisa Seldon: So without further a due, let’s get to the action.

Johnny Maverick vs Jethro Hayes

Two People Doing Incredibly Horrible Things to One Another

Jethro and Johnny stand outside of the glass doors of the abandoned mall waiting on the signal to begin. A cell phone rings and Referee Scott Swindell lifts the phone up to his ear and nods. Scott flips the phone down, removing a key and unlocking the door.

Jethro Hayes: No bell?

Johnny Maverick: Got to have a bell.

Scottlooks at his phone, at the two men, and back to his phone. Scrolling down a minute on the phone Scott punches a button. A loud ringing noise fills the tiny area, but neither man go into the building and Scott is a little perplexed.

Johnny Maverick: Think that is a bell?

Jethro looks at Johnny then back to Scott.

Jethro Hayes: That is a phone ringing, we need a bell.

Scott thinks for a moment before all three men go into the mall.

Johnny Maverick: I'm sure there has to be a bell around this mall somewhere.

All three men stop in front of a map of the mall. Jethro points to a store on the map.

Jethro Hayes: There is a Sports store, they've got to have one.

They all nod and head off up the now moving escalator up to the third store. Arriving at the store, they walk into the furnished Sports store, the name blurred out for copyright reasons and go in search of a bell to ring for the beginning of the match.

Johnny Maverick: I got one!

Jethro and Scott rush over to where Johnny is rummaging around.

Jethro Hayes: What did you get?

Johnny comes up out of the pile with a minikini in his hand. Jethro and Scott look a bit perplexed.

Johnny Maverick: For Maya.

Scott and Jethro nod, before heading out in search of the bell.

Scott Swindell: I found one!

Without waiting on the two men to come over, he rips open the paper and plastic to hold a bicycle bell in his hand, ringing it.

Scott Swindell: You've got ten minutes to find the weapons you want to use!

Jethro and Johnny rush over to the shopping carts that are right outside of every store, left hap hazardly all over the place by the careless shoppers. Jethro shoves Johnny into the other buggy before rushing back into the Sports store.

~Jethro's Shopping Spree~

Jethro rummages around the Sports store, tossing in ball bats, cleats, boxing gloves, football pads, helmet, a hand full of cups, and a set of golf clubs before running out of the door. Jethro skids beside Johnny who is heading in the opposite direction.

Johnny Maverick: Kitchen Collectibles down your way!

Jethro Hayes: Hell yeah!

Jethro skids into said store before slamming into a display of crockpots. Jethro spies the kitchenware and is there immediately. Forks, knives, spoons, sporks, pizza cutter, cheese grater, and all other sorts of kitchen type stuff fall prey to Jethro's reach and the buggy is nearly half fool of stuff. Jethro spins around, running back out the door where he spies Johnny running past the Sports store now.

Jethro Hayes: Hey! They got bats half off in the Sports store!

Johnny nods, ducking into the store with his buggy nearly full already. Jethro runs down to the store and waits as Johnny fills his buggy with all sorts of stuff.

Scott Swindell: Seven minutes to go!

Johnny turns around, watching Jethro curiously.

Jethro Hayes: Why are we waiting?

He looks around.

Jethro Hayes: It isn't like we can't just pick up something if we want to.

Johnny nods...

Johnny Maverick: Good point.

Scott Swindell: No guys, you have...

Johnny dives at Jethro with a swing from the aluminum ball bat.

~Johnny's Shopping Spree~

Johnny yanks a buggy out of the stack, heading past as Jethro heads back into the sports store. Johnny spies a Kitchen Store, and a grin crosses his face. Johnny is right in there faster than the camera can catch it and dumps a whole carton of forks, knives and rolling pins into his buggy. Johnny dumps a couple of pizza cutters and cheese graters in for good measure before spinning around and running out of the store.

Johnny passes Jethro on his way to the escalator.

Johnny Maverick: Kitchen Collectibles down your way!

Jethro Hayes: Sports Store got bats half off!

~Back to real time~

The bat slams into Jethro's midsection sending him stumbling back against the barbed wire railing. Jethro comes back firing with a golf club towards Johnny's head. The driver curls around Johnny's head sending him to one knee.

Scott Swindell: Guys, you have to wait!

Johnny and Jethro turn to Scott.

Both: For what?

Johnny shoves Jethro's buggy into his midsection sending the Country Boy on his ass. Johnny leaps from the rolling buggy to slam into Jethro's head with a flying knee. Jethro rolls over onto his front, pushing himself up

Jethro Hayes: No nut shots?

Johnny Maverick: Yeah, no nut shots.

Jethro yanks a jock strap down on Johnny's head before slamming his fist into Maverick's midsection. Johnny headbutts Jethro in the face before going on one knee. Johnny slams a fist into Jethro's thigh before spinning around leaping up with a roundhouse kick to Jethro's head.

Jethro comes back from one knee with a spear slamming Johnny into the buggy that rolls away from the two to roll down the escalator. Jethro with a chop sends Johnny backwards towards the escalator. Jethro with a forearm shot has Johnny against the raling of the moving stairs, but Johnny stomps on Jethro's knee stopping his momentum. Jethro holds at his knee and Johnny leaps onto the moving rail to leap off with a front kick nearly taking Jethro's head off!

Johnny picks up a fallen cheese grater, bringing it down on Jethro's head, but no blood as he didn't drag it across his skin. Jethro with a shoulder block sends the lower portion of Johnny's back into the escalator railing. Jethro with a roundhouse punch, but Johnny ducks flipping Jethro over his shoulder onto the steps. Jethro slams down hard, rolling over onto his front and trying to regain his feet. Johnny leaps from the top, flipping over to slam his feet into Jethro's upturned face, sending The Southern Hero rolling down the steps. Jethro reaches bottom, getting slowly up to his feet as Johnny flies with a crossbody rolling Jethro over.

Johnny Maverick: Second Floor!

Jethro spins diving towards Maverick, but Johnny side steps sending Jethro face first onto a wooden bench. Johnny picks Jethro's head up by the hair on the back of his neck, slamming it down face first onto the bench four, five, no six times. Jethro's nose is beginning to trickle a small amount of blood, but he elbows Johnny's ribs to stop the face smashing. Jethro spins Johnny around, spinebuster onto the bench!

Jethro pants as he pulls himself back up, leaning down to pull Johnny back up to his feet. Jethro plants a boot into Maverick's midsection before lifting him up, tilt a whirl DDT Johnny counters with a poke to the eye and Jethro goes down.

Jethro Hayes: My damn eye!

Johnny Maverick: No nut shots.

Jethro nods, Johnny kicks out at his face. Jethro catches the foot, Johnny with an enzeguri. Jethro ducks under the coming foot, clothesline takes Johnny over with a flip to slam face first onto the floor. Jethro picks Johnny back up.

Jethro Hayes: No nut shots.

Johnny is panting now, but Jethro isn't relenting as he lands a series of closed fists to Johnny's face and up against the glass window of a women's unmentionables store. Johnny slams back first into the plate glass, Jethro with a spear! Both men go through the window in a shower of glass, Scott running over quickly.

Jethro rolls over onto his back, tiny pieces of glass covering his body now, but Johnny is bleeding from the tiny cuts. Jethro is bleeding as well, but Johnny took most of that attack. Jethro once again pulls Johnny up to his feet, but Johnny brings down a fake female model into Jethro's wounded knee before slamming his head into Jethro's nose again. Jethro holds his nose before falling backwards out of the store. However Johnny grabs the wrist, whipping Jethro into a display for red undies that Jethro sends flying. The metal display rack bends ackwardly as Jethro lands on it and the grunt of pain from him is an indication that it hurt like hell too. Johnny's turn to pull Jethro up and he does so, with a piece of the display stand's leg in his hand. Jethro looks up.


Johnny connects with the leg across Jethro's temple, slicing him open and sending a small trickle of blood down the side of his face. Johnny with another shot, and a third opens the wound up nicely. Johnny takes a moment to admire his handywork before lifting a knee into Jethro's face. Johnny fires an elbow into the face as well before slamming Jethro's face down on the upcoming knee and Jethro's nose finally begins to bleed heavily. Johnny reaches over, pulling up a tampon and ramming it upwards into Jethro's nose to saunch the bleeding.

Jethro shoves Maverick away, yanking the tampon out and throwing it to the side. Jethro reaches down slapping Johnny in the face with a pair of panties and Johnny looks at Hayes in confusion. The Jethro slams a fist wrapped in panties into his face. Johnny's head rocks back on his neck and Jethro shoves him out of the door into the atrium of the mall. Jethro grabs him by the hair of his head, face smashing him into the wall and seeing a nutrient store. Jethro shoves Johnny through the store's door, but Maverick holds onto the door frame. Jehro tries again, but Johnny refuses to budge.

Johnny Maverick: No, this will never work.

Jethro notices, really notices the store for the first time.

Jethro Hayes: Yeah, what about Spen...

The word is bleeped out, again due to copyright restrictions; but Johnny nods.

Jethro Hayes: Good.

Then Johnny and Jethro begin to exchange rights and lefts as they do a brutal ballet of sorts towards the afor mentioned store. Jethro slams a fist into Maverick's head tha spins him around, but Johnny comes back up firing a roundhouse kick that sends Jethro into the store spinning. Jethro on his knees next to a display of female stimulation equipment. Jethro pulls one from the rack, getting up to his feet. Johnny flies from the top of a shelf, but Jethro is there with a dildo counter!

Johnny goes down hard... literally although not on the dildo. Jethro slams the implement down on Johnny's head, before tossing it away into the rest of the store. Johnny holds at his head where a lump is beginning to form quickly. Maverick kicks out, but Jethro side steps the offensive move, dropping a knee into Johnny's face.

Jethro lifts Johnny up for The Planter, but Maverick counters with a hurricanrana sending Jethro into a series of shelves displaying all sorts of novelty items. Jethro clutches at his back before rolling up to his feet, dazed and confused. Johnny flies through the air.

Flying Dildo to the face!

The item slams hard into Jethro's forehead where it cracks.

Johnny Maverick: Must have been ceramic.

Jethro grunts from the floor, but Johnny doesn't let him rest. Maverick with a series of stomps on the fallen Southern Hero and then drags him over to the poster section. Johnny slams an elbow into Hayes' face before flipping through the posters. Spying the one he wants, he looks in the bin below and nods. Johnny unwraps the poster and then lifts Jethro's head.

Chyna in a bikini!

Jethro screams in torment as he falls backwards, doing his best to get away, but Johnny is persistent and continues his march towards Jehtro. Hayes tries to cover up his face, but Maverick kicks at his elbow to cause Jethro to look on the gruesome sight. Jethro shoves his hand into Maverick's midsection, sending the wind right out of Maverick's sails and he yanks the poster from Maverick's grasp. Jethro spins it around to show to Johnny, who just holds himself.

Jethro Hayes: Sicko.

Johnny nods before throwing a right towards Jethro's head. Jethro fires one back and the two head out of the store with both fists connecting with solid and effective punches.

Johnny runs at Jethro, who ducks and connects with a quick rapid Northern Lights suplex. Johnny slams heavily onto the wooden bench outside of the novelty item store. Jethro is back up, all be it very slowly. Hayes wipes at his eyes, trying to remove the image from his face, but he can't wipe his memory that easily. Jethro llifts a buggy into the air, bringing it down onto Johnny's chest, Maverick grunts out in pain and the sudden loss of air. Jethro is quick to lift him back up though. Jethro tosses Johnny onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry looking for a good store to continue this fight in.

Johnny Maverick: Candy store big fella.

Johnny slaps Jethro's sides and they turn into the candy store where Jethro unceremoneously dumps Maverick onto the counter. Jethro drops an elbow on him before Maverick is able to roll over. Jethro digs through a bit of candy before spilling Gobstoppers onto the floor. Jethro slips and Johnny laughs but he slips as well when he steps from the counter. Jethro is next to the display for huge jawbreakers while Johnny is next to fruitcake that is half off. Jethro lifts a jawbreaker into his fist, it is the size of a softball; he chuncks it at Maverick's head.

Johnny Maverick: Damn! That shit hurt Hayes!

Jethro laughs.

Jethro Hayes: Didn't realize we were playing pattycake.

Johnny Maverick: Give me a cheese grater to the head anytime!

Maverick lifts the lid of the fruitcake display.

Johnny Maverick: You want to play hardball?... Fine with me!

Johnny hurls the fruitcake at Jethro, it slams into his bleeding nose.

Jethro Hayes: F*bleep*k!

Johnny laughs.

Johnny Maverick: Didn't realize we were playing pattycake!

Jethro Hayes: But fruitcake? Honestly... fruitcake?!

Johnny Maverick: Tis the holiday season!

They both get up, fruitcake for Johnny and jawbreaker for Jethro. Both men launch their chosen weapon at the other, they meet in mid air.


Both the jawbreaker and fruitcake break apart in mid air, broken pieces falling to the floor.

Both: DAMN!

They look at the debris on the floor, then dive at each other with rights and lefts. Johnny connects with a solid shot to Jethro's neck, crumpling him down to his knees. However, Jethro returns it with a solid right hook to Johnny's inner thigh sending him onto one knee. Jethro with a fruitcake right to Johnny's temple that nearly knocks the hardcore man unconscious, but he fires back with a jawbreaker right into his face that almost immediately begins to swell Jethro's eye. Both men stumble up and out of the doorway to the atrium type deal, or the outer level. Johnny with a surprise dropkick sends Jethro over the ledge to the floor below. Jethro turns, absorbing the impact on his back. Johnny salutes the fallen Jethro before diving over himself with a flip in mid-air. Johnny lands solidly onto Jethro as Scott Swindell comes running down the escalator to count.




Johnny pulls himself up to a seated position and shakes his head.




Johnny on one knee, he can barely even move.




It may be a double count out, but Johnny gets up to his feet, but now the count must be restarted. Jethro is on his front now though, trying to shove up. Movie posters cover the wall and we notice an entrance to the movie theater about ten feet down the hall.




Jethro gets up to his feet, very very shaky, but still up. Jethro's face is covered in blood, fruitcake, and jawbreaker pieces. Jethro leans over against the wall and spots the new Harry Potter movie poster.

Jethro Hayes: Look Johnny, the new Harry Potter movie!

Johnny shakes his head.

Johnny Maverick: Done seen it, don't want to again.

Jethro looks at him.

Jethro Hayes: I went into the candy store.

Johnny sighs.

Johnny Maverick: Popcorn?

Jethro Hayes: Nachos?

Scott Swindell: Can I come too?

They both look at him.

Both: You buy the drink.

All three nod, but only Johnny and Jethro begin to fight, Scott just watching. They fight through the entrance door and up to the counter. Jethro slams Johnny's face into the glass, shattering it and opening the way to the candy.

Jethro Hayes: Milky way?

He slams it into Johnny's face, smearing the chocolate on his already bloody face. Johnny brings up a box.

Johnny Maverick: 3 Musketeers?

He slams the box into Jethro's face. Jethro reaches bacak, grabbing a bucket of popcorn.

Jethro Hayes: Got a better idea.

Jethro slams the bucket of popcorn on Johnny's head, then pounds his fists into the box before lifting Johnny up and over the counter to behind the concession area. Jethro vaults over the broken counter to slam a knee into Maverick's midsection, but Johnny isn't there.

Johnny Maverick: You!

He pounds a fist with every word into Jethro's bloody and chocolatey face.

Johnny Maverick: Forgot! Extra! Butter!

Johnny leaps up into the air, slamming both knees into Jethro's face and spinning him around to bring his face down on both knees. Jethro counters by shoving Johnny into the hot dog steamer. Scott Swindell comes from around the side, panting heavily.

Scott Swindell: I got drinks!

Jethro and Johnny reach out, each grabbing a drink and swallowing some. They look at each other, the drink, and back to Scott. Swindell begins to shake his head from side to side...

Scott Swindell: Come on guys... not...

They both dump their sodas on Scott Swindell before turning back to each other.

High Five!

Johnny Maverick: I hate Diet Soda!

Jethro Hayes: Me too!

Jethro looks at Johnny.

Jethro Hayes: Especially when its Diet Lime Cola.

Johnny licks his lips... and nods. Johnny with a right hook catching Jethro off guard as Scott looks at his soda soaked shirt. Johnny lifts the nacho cheese dispenser and squirts a ton of cheese on Jethro's face.

Johnny Maverick: I got you some nachos too!

He dumps an entire bag of nachos on Jethro's body before stomping them into crumbs. Jethro rolls out of the stomping grounds of Johnny and back up to his feet. Jethro slams a shoulder into Maverick's midsection before laying him on top of the counter with a scoop slam. Jethro dumps the remaining cheese on Johnny, tosses a few chips on for good measure before dropping an elbow.

Jethro Hayes: But Johnny, you forgot!

Jethro dumps an entire jar of jalapenos onto Johnny, grinding them into the cuts, wounds,ears, nose, mouth, and eyes of Maverick.

Jethro: I like jalapenos!

He shoves Johnny over and they begin to brawl again this time heading through the theatre and into where the cinema is playing "Deathly Hallows", the new Harry Potter movie. Jethro tosses Johnny over into a seat, where his back slams heavily onto the chair's arms. Jethro lifts Johnny up, sitting him bodily into the chair. Jethro sits down and puts his feet up. They watch the movie and in comes Scott Swindell, carrying three big cups of soda.

Scott Swindell: I've got soda!

Jethro and Johnny both shush him.

Johnny Maverick: The movie has just started, all are asked to be silent and turn off all cell phones.

Scott slides into a seat in front and they begin to watch the movie.

Jethro Hayes: Getting tired?

Johnny Maverick: A bit.

Jethro Hayes: Is it the movie?

Johnny Maverick: Nah, think I swallowed some of that fruitcake, Chamelion's wife musta made it.

Jethro nods.

Jethro Hayes: Think I did to, and she didn't make it not even Sandra can cook that good.

Johnny Maverick: Who then?

Scott Swindell: The movie guys... shush.

They both thump Scott on the back of the head before nodding and dumping both sodas on top of his head once again.

Scott Swindell: Damn it guys!

Johnny and Jethro laugh and nod.

Johnny Maverick: Fight?

Jethro Hayes: Yeah, lets go.

Johnny with a right hook, Jethro fires one right back and they continue the brawl up against a door marked: "Staf Only" They go through the door, throwing punches and kicks from Johnny. Jethro with a big Southern headbutt causes Johnny to stumble backwards and they are in a dimly lit hallway. Jethro with another right backs Johnny up even further and the door shuts heavily behind him. The sounds of the movie are heard loud and clear as Jethro and Johnny fight up a set of stairs and into the control room where the movie is being played from Jethro and Johnny exchange blows in front of the projector and on the screen shadow figures fight as well. Johnny and Jethro look at themselves fighting on the screen before ducking down. Jethro creates a rabbit, while Johnny creates a dog. The two shadow animals begin to exchange blows in a battle to the shadow death!

The dog is in the lead, grabbing the duck by the neck, but here comes the duck flapping its beak to nip at the dog's ears. Uh oh, the duck turns into an eagle.

Johnny Maverick: Totally not fair.

Jethro Hayes: Its a Phoenix.

Johnny Maverick: Doesn't count.

Jethro Hayes: Damn. A Duck Eagle?

Johnny Maverick: Don't think so.

In comes Scott Swindell, drenched with sticky soda and furious at the two men.

Scott Swindell: I was trying to watch the movie.

They look at him.

Johnny Maverick: Do your job Swindell.

Jethro Hayes: Yeah, who won the duck or the dog.

Scott Swindell: The duck was disqualified because of morphing into a eagle.

Jethro Hayes: Phoenix.

Scott Swindell: Eagle.

Jethro Hayes: Phoenix!

Johnny Maverick: By morphing into a Phoenix...

Jethro slaps his forehead.

Jethro Hayes: Right, I'd immediately become a loser, my bad.

Johnny with a side headlock and they are near the wall. Jethro shoves Maverick back and...


Both men go through the projection window and down to the seats below!

Jethro and Johnny land in a heap on the chairs, both men broken, beaten, and definitely sore from this most recent fall from twenty or so feet up and especially onto chairs.

Scott slams down the stairs, into position to count.











Scott pulls out the bicycle bell, dinging it twice.

ding ding

Scott Swindell: Winner of the ma... I mean I declare this match a draw.


We cut back to Lisa Seldon and Gary outside who have been watching the whole thing on a monitor. Lisa looks quite pleased with it all. Gary a little less.

Lisa Seldon: Well folks, what more can I say except, that was some serious fucking shit, as two of the PWA’s top competitors just risked life and limb for nothing at all! In a match that's sure to set fans off demanding a rematch.

Gary Maverick: Should I, like, go help my brother or something.

Lisa Seldon: No no, I’m sure he’s fine.

She waves him off and turns back to the camera.

Lisa Seldon: So tune in next time in the lead up to Christmas at Ground Zero, when we’ll be bringing you yet one more turn into the world of late night Ultraviolence, curtsey of the PWA.

There’s a pause eventually filled with Lisa punching Gary rather hard in the arm, snapping him out of his funk.

Gary Maverick: Ow! Right, yeah… and look forward to the month of January when the PWA will be hosting the first Crimson Cup. A Deathmatch tournament full of blood, mayhem and money.

Lisa knocks him out of the way and steps into the centre again.

Lisa Seldon: So for Gay-ray, I’m Lisa Seldon, wishing you all goodnight.