World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick

After Dark Edition

Jethro Hayes vs Simon Kalis

Empty Arena Grudge Match

The camera returns to a much emptier, much quieter arena. The floors have been cleaned the chairs resorted and the announcers replaced, as a quick scan of the arena leads us down to the desk, (wo)manned by the team of Lisa and Laura.

Lisa Seldon: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this special presentation of PWA… after dark.

Lisa appears to be working her sexy voice; which is not entirely unlike her regular voice, except with a little more bass.

Lisa Seldon: I’m your hostess Lisa Seldon, joined tonight by the super sensual, super sexual, superstar, Laura Estella.

Laura Estella: Thanks Sylvester.

Laura takes a slap to the back of the head while Lisa goes back to normal.

Lisa Seldon: anyway… already tonight we’ve seen the return of Ryan Ross, the return of Jacob Figgins.

Laura Estella: The return of Gary Maverick.

Lisa Seldon: A slew of new matches for the upcoming Good vs. Evil Pay Per View.

Laura Estella: One.

Lisa Seldon: And the crowning of our new tag team champions, The Glorious Bastards, which is a word I can happily say all night now without the censors taking a shit all over my inbox.

Laura Estella: But it’s not over yet, as Jethro Hayes is now about to take on Simon Kalis in a special no holds barred empty arena match up.

Lisa turns her attention onto Laura.

Lisa Seldon: So Laura, you’ve fought and beat both of these men. What would you say were there weaknesses?

Laura Estella: Well, I’d have to say, neither one of them really enjoyed getting Clotheslined in the face.

Lisa Seldon: Excellent insight. Let’s see if that makes the difference as we move over to the ring.

Back between the ropes, the referee is done checking over both competitors and calls for the bell.

Ding Ding

We’re underway. Kalis explodes with a big knee to the gut. And forearm shots to the back of the youngest PWA Grand Slam Champion. Jethro stands up, blocks a punch. Blocks another. Fist to Simon Kalis. Another! Jethro runs back off of the ropes, Kalis with a spinning heel kick that he ducks underneath. Off of the opposite ropes, big clothesline to Kalis! Simon ducks underneath. Off of the ropes again. Kalis ducks the clothesline again. They lock-up and Kalis forces Jethro into the corner. Fist! Fist! Fist! Irish whips him across the ring and charges in… but Jethro is up and off the turnbuckle with a flying back elbow that takes Simon down! Jethro with a quick cover but to no avail.

Lisa Seldon: Fast and furious action early on, in which a quite large southern boy has strangely been able to outpace a black guy.

Laura Estella: They are notorious for their abilities to run, but then they’re also notorious for their abilities to do mass amounts of alcohol and drugs, and I’d have to imagine Kalis falls into the second bracket.

Jethro locks in a headlock, trying to take the winds out of the sails of this Matthew English type foe. It appears to work for a moment but Kalis begins to climb to his feet. As he rises, he elbows Hayes in the gut once… twice… third time is the charm! Kalis off of the ropes but Hayes with a drop toe hold! Simon falls onto his face! Hayes grabs both of Simon's legs… Double Knee Stomp!

Laura Estella: Jethro appears to be working an actual gameplan tonight by picking a part and working on it, rather than just bludgeoning a foo’.

Lisa Seldon: Perhaps he’s only really awake at night like me, or perhaps he’s taking a lesson from all the guys who have kicked his ass over the past few months… until I started helping him out, obviously.

Laura Estella: He hasn’t lost a match since; expect earlier today, but who can even remember that far back?

Lisa Seldon: Not me if I don’t want to.

Kalis slowly gets to his feet only to be dropkicked down to the mat by Hayes! Another Double Knee Stomp! Kalis has trouble standing while Jethro goes outside for the steel chair he promised! He swings it across the back of Kalis as he attempts to stand… but Kalis does not fall! He turns around, Jethro swings it… caught by Simon's foot! He sends it back into Jethro’s face! He tosses it to the side, picks up Jethro, whips him off of the ropes… catches him with a spinning heel kick! And a cover!



Lisa Seldon: And Jethro lumbers out of his hold to go count his teeth.

Kalis is back up with Hayes in tow. Smashes his head into the turnbuckle. Again! Brings him across the ring… into another turnbuckle! Whips him from one corner to the other… follows in with a flying scissor kick! Jethro staggers… right into Remembrance! Kalis rushes over to Hayes, stalking his prey Kalis runs in with Retribution!

Laura Estella: Kalis jumps on the cover again.




Lisa Seldon: No! Simon Kalis breaking out all the R-flavoured moves but Jethro refuses to give up.

Hayes is struggling to get to his feet. Before he gets the chance Kalis locks in his Eyes of Eternity!

Laura Estella: This is one of his signature manoeuvres and he knows just how to apply it to maximize the amount of pressure. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t bother doing it.

Jethro gritting his teeth, telling Lance there is no way he is going to submit. Jethro battling up, he rolls over breaking the hold.

Lisa Seldon: Jethro powers out of the hold.

Kalis spins around, right into an inverted atomic drop! Jethro runs off of the ropes… Running Bulldog! Before Kalis has a chance to get up, Jethro hits him with a Springboard Spinning Leg Drop!

Laura Estella: Jethro pulling out all the stops.

Lisa Seldon: Did you see how he actually managed to get two legs off the ground at once there?

Laura Estella: It was hard to miss.

Jethro covers again.




Lisa Seldon: Kalis gets up in the hopes of taking an even larger ass kicking.

Hayes gets to his feet. He’s going for that steel chair again! Kalis slowly gets to his feet… Hayes clips his knee! And he brings the chair down on his knee! Again! He puts Simon's knee in the chair. Hayes goes outside the ropes to the corner of the apron. Rolling Senton onto the CHAIR onto... the KNEE! Kalis is screaming in pain holding his knee. Jethro is holding his back; that move wasn’t without some sacrifice! Not to mention it isn't his normal fighting style, but he is going to take out all stops in this match. Jethro grabs the chair, yelling for Kalis to stand up, challenging him to stand eye-to-eye with him (or as much as possible, given the height difference). Kalis tries to stand but is having trouble. Kalis stands. Jethro pulls back with the chair… Jethro slams it right into his face!

Laura Estella: Kalis walks right into a chairshot, probably assuming himself to be some kind of black terminator who doesn’t feel pain.

Lisa Seldon: Simon Kalis putting on a clinic in incorrect assumptions right there.

Jethro leans in the corner, grabbing a breather, after all he has been in a match earlier tonight and given his size, it is beginning to wear on him. Jethro leans over Simon...





Lisa Seldon: He’s out again!

Laura Estella: Back and forth walking into deathmoves but apparently they’re not done yet.

Lisa Seldon: Which is great, because we’ve already paid for the air time.

Jethro shoves Simon off before shoving up to his feet. Kalis runs in with a lariat to his knee that sends him down! Kalis now stomping on Jethro with his bad leg, standing on his one remaining good one. He pulls Jethro up, hobbling a bit, but able to do so. Irish whip into the ropes, Jethro rebounds.


Lisa Seldon: Jethro goes down!

Simon pulls him back up to his feet, rolling him over the top rope to the outside. Simon off the ropes as Jethro gets back up to his feet. Simon launches himself over the top, landing on Jethro's shoulders before sending him over into the seats where the crowd would normally be!

Lisa Seldon: The mythical invisible audience scatters in fear.

Laura Estella: Good thing you had someone set those chairs back up, otherwise they might not have gotten hurt at all.

Simon lands and is quickly back up to his feet, heading to sit in the ring and possibly have a smoke.

Laura Estella: Such an awful stereotype lazy black guy.

Lisa Seldon: Whatever, stereotype angry South American girl.

Hayes makes his way through the seats, grabbing a steel chair on his way! Kalis grabs the chair in the ring. They stand mid-ring, their chairs in their hands.


They begin swinging their chairs at each other, parrying back and forth, neither able to get the other one. Jethro ducks a chairshot, he jabs his into the gut of Simon Kalis! Again! Kalis doubles over. Jethro off of the ropes… running chair shot! Off of the other ropes… a second and Kalis FINALLY goes down!

Lisa Seldon: Simon Kalis goes down like a big shitty bag of shit.

Laura Estella: Eloquent to the max.

Jethro holds his chair in the air to the pride of himself and for the revenge he is getting! He drops the chair and waits for Kalis to get to his feet. Kalis struggles but manages to get up. Jethro gets behind him, hooks him…

Lisa Seldon: Buries him with the Georgia Slam!

Laura Estella: And covers!




Lisa Seldon: And the black terminator kicks out again.

Jethro pulls Kalis up. He’s dragging him towards the turnbuckle. He tries to get Simon up on the turnbuckle! He’s going for a Superplex on Simon! Kalis with big back elbows! A big headbutt to Jethro! Seizes him by the throat and shoves him down with a double handed throat thrust! Jethro slams heavily onto the canvas, Simon diving off with an elbow right into the throat as well!

Laura Estella: He’s got him…




Lisa Seldon: No! In fact he’s the opposite of got him. Not got him!

Kalis gets up, holding Jethro in tow. Irish whips him… Running foot thrust to Jethro!

Laura Estella: Another big kick puts him out.




Lisa Seldon: Jethro hangs in a little longer.

Kalis can't believe Jethro's determination, but knows he would be the same and is in fact the same as Jethro's! He locks in The Eyes of Eternity again trying to make
The Southern Hero submit!

Laura Estella: Simon keeps putting him down and Jethro gets fighting back out, but he can’t keep this pace up forever.

Lance is checking on Jethro, asking him if he wants to submit but he is shaking his head no! Jethro battles up to his feet. Back kick to Kalis but he keeps the modified STF locked in! Another! A third! But it takes a fourth to break it! Jethro drops out of it, grabs a chair from the mat and jumps up and nails Kalis with it! AGAIN! Kalis falls to the ground.

Lisa Seldon: Desperation attacks from Jethro. The kind of thing I would know nothing about.

Laura Estella: Curtain Call.

Lisa Seldon: That wasn’t desperation; that was bleeding in style.

Now he’s… he’s locking in Tobacco Road!! Jethro holds in the torture rack submission, deciding to go for punishment instead of the vicious neckbreaker that follows. Lance goes over to see if Kalis is going to tap out. Kalis is shaking his head no, saying no.

Laura Estella: A man known for his stamina -

Lisa Seldon: Oow-la-la.

Laura Estella: - but how long can he take the pain?

Masakazu runs down with a barbed wire wrapped 2x4 swinging it right at Hayes' head! Hayes falls to the ground!

Lisa Seldon: Masazkazu invades to absolutely no response from this apparently quite tough to please crowd.

Laura Estella: But how did he manage to get down to ringside in an arena with absolutely no security to stop him!?

Lisa Seldon: Perhaps we’ll never know.

Kalis begins to sit up… and he smiles, nodding up at his son. Lance rips the 2x4 out of Masa's hand. They are hollering at each other!

Lance: Get it outta here Masakazu!

Masa just smirks.

Laura Estella: Lisa Seldon, making absolutely no move to interfere on her charges behalf.

Lisa Seldon: Lisa Seldon, quite comfy.

Jethro is slowly stirring as Simon smiles, sending Masakazu back up the ramp and to the back. They are across the ring from each other, using their respective ropes to slowly climb to their feet. They get up at the same time and turn around to look into each other’s
eyes. Then they charge across the ring at each other. A collar-and-elbow!

Laura Estella: This fight has just broken out in a wrestling match.

Lisa Seldon: This exactly the kind of thing that brings our sport into disrepute.

They struggle back and forth. Finally Kalis powers through with a side headlock and knee to the ribs. But Jethro gets behind him… belly-to-back suplex!

Lisa Seldon: Big fat dude German Suplex!

Laura Estella: Punctuated by absolutely no cover.

Both men are out of it. That move took everything out of both competitors. Slowly they both stir and get to their feet. Jethro runs at Simon… kick to Jethro’s gut! Kalis with a right hand! And he seizes Jethro’s throat with both hands. It’s time for another Two-handed Throat Thrust! No! Jethro elbows out of it! Jethro with a roaring elbow! Another! A third! Kalis is wavering. Jethro runs off of the ropes… right into another spinning heel kick from Simon!

Lisa Seldon: Back and forth they go, like a thing which moves constantly between two directions.

Laura Estella: Excellent use of dead air.

Kalis stalks Jethro. He pulls him up. Northern Lights Suplex?! NO! He gets him up but Jethro reverses into a HUGE DDT!

Laura Estella: Huge DDT!

Lisa Seldon: Positively indeed.

Simon's skull hits the mat then he flips over, shaking the entire ring!

Lisa Seldon: The crowd go wild.

Laura Estella: WOOOOOOO!

Lisa Seldon: Told you.

Both men slowly getting to their feet. Hayes up first. And he grabs a steel chair. He unfolds it and sets it up in the middle of the ring. Now he’s walking over to Simon. He HOISTS HIM UP! Jethro HAS perhaps THE most influential man IN PWA HISTORY UP ON HIS SHOULDERS!

Laura Estella: He gets him up for the Planter. On the steel chair!

Lisa Seldon: Jethro is about the thin the roster by one.

Simon counters with Tears of Redemption!

Laura Estella: Simon snaps him in two!

Lisa Seldon: That was absolutely unprecedented… if one didn’t understand the precedents.

Simon makes the cover!




Laura Estella: And it is all over!!!

No fan fair, no cheering. Just a bell as Simon rolls out to the floor and falls to his knees. The camera moves in as the referee gets down on a knee to lift Simon’s arm before being pushed away. He then jumps back into the ring to help Jethro, who is still out of it on the mat.

Lisa Seldon: Well it took everything they had I’m going to assume, but in the end it was Simon Kalis who managed to hold out.

Laura Estella: Sad?

Lisa Seldon: Nope, couldn’t give a fuck. I held up my end of the bargain, and since Jethro is still breathing, I’m sure they’ll be going at it again soon enough.

Kalis finally pulls himself up the aid of the apron and turns an irritated glare toward the announce desk, where Lisa gives him a smile and both girls give him a wave. He then turns back to the ring, giving Jethro a stare as the referee starts to bring him around. Kalis then staggers up the ramp while we move back to the desk.

Lisa Seldon: Well ladies and gentlemen, that was messy as fuck. And if you were ok with that, then please tune in next week, when we’ll be throwing them and countless other guys into a big cage and let them set each other on fire and shit.

Laura Estella: Also the Grizzly and Intercontinental Champions will be teaming together against two has-beens.

Lisa Seldon: And the Renegade Souljahs.

Lisa and Laura give each other a high five for that.

Laura Estella: Jacob Figgins will be making his long awaited return.

Lisa Seldon: And I’ll be representing the make a wish foundation as I let the absolute dregs of the wrestling work into my company to kick the utter shit out of them! Hopefully, with fire!

Jazz hands for good measure.

Laura Estella: It’s Good vs. Evil, and it’s only on Pay Per View!

The two wave us out again, copyright logo, and home.