World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick

The Seldontastic Finale :(

Power of the Dollar

We fade into the scene, and it appears we are at the arena here in Portland, Oregan only a few hours before the show begins. There are hoodie ninjas running around setting up the stage and seats near ringside, as well as a few fans who have already arrived and are snapping photos of their favorite hoodie ninjas. However inside the ring, there is an average sized table set up and a number of odd looking men in suits. However one of the men, who is not wearing a suit sticks out like a black guy wearing a hoodie and shorts in a group of white guys in suits. It is then we see Simon Kalis wearing a simple black hooded sweater with long black Karl Kani jean shorts.

Simon Kalis: Mark isn't going to show is he?

PWA Lawyer: Sadly not, he is preoccupied with other things at this thing.

Simon Kalis: Something more important than the biggest superstar on his roster? Something more important than the man whose made the world spin the last month and a half?

Kalis gets up and shakes his head, dusting his shoulders off. Fans in the stands who're already there chatter and gossip as they photograph and film what's going on in the ring.

Simon Kalis: I've got other offers. I'm in demand. I'll take myself, and the ratings I bring elsewhere.

Kalis begins to exit the ring when that PWA Lawyer quickly stops him.

PWA Lawyer: No, no. Please sir, please review the offer on the table. I'm sure you'll find it surprisingly beneficial.

Kalis pauses and looks back, sighing before heading back and taking his seat again. He opens up the contract and sifts through it.

Simon Kalis: You read this?

Marcus Steinberg: Yes sir.

Kalis looks back at the contract after looking at his own attorney. He stops and his eyes widen at one point. He extends his hand out.

Simon Kalis: This is for real?

Marcus Steinberg: Yes, sir.

PWA Lawyer: No question, sir.

Kalis grabs the pen and flips to the last page, and signs the contract.

Simon Kalis: Consider it a done deal.

Kalis leans back in his seat, beaming with a huge grin plastered over his face.

Jer$ey vs Jordi Davies vs Tommy Davis vs. Tyson

Total New Guy Dark Match

The jist of the match was that Jordi and Tyson kinda sucked and probably wont be coming back, while Jer$ey and Tommy set themselves up as guys you should definitely keep watching.

Davis (not Davies!) shined as he put the competition on notice, but it would be the Rebel Pro superstar who shined on the night as he showed the world just why the PWA had sought him out.

In the end both competitors were able to argue a pinfall, but it was Jer$ey who won the night, scoring the fall on Tyson and having his counted first. Tommy argued his point with the referee but it was Jer$ey scooping the fall. He made motions of title aspirations as we jumped into the show.

Crazy Lisa Shenanigans

maybe she's dieing

We open up on Lisa Seldon sitting in her office, going through some paperwork and grinning on her second well-reviewed Pay Per View. As she continues to sort through her desk, a knock is heard at the door. She raises an eyebrow, not quite sure who to expect.

Lisa Seldon: Yellow?

The door slowly swings open, a sombre Lucious Starr stepping into the doorway. Lisa is pleasantly surprised to see Lucious, at least in the lesser brash mood that he seems to be in. He steps up to her desk, breathing deeply.

Lisa Seldon: Hey it’s ma boy Luscious. What’s wrong man, normally you just kick the door through.

Lucious Starr: It’s not... I mean... Look, Lisa... I wanted to take a minute to... talk.

Lisa Seldon: Of course you do man, that’s your thing. That and failing.

Lucious Starr: Alright, look. After what happened at the Sizzler last week...

Lisa Seldon: When you got your ass smashed?

Lucious Starr: Well... yes, but...

Lisa Seldon: Like, totally and utterly destroyed by an old and fairly average guy?

Lucious Starr: Okay, that’s... okay. But...

Lisa Seldon: You know how many times I’ve beaten Chamelion? Twice. That’s every time I’ve faced him. And I did it fairly easily, because he’s not very good. Good enough to beat you, but apparently that doesn’t really mean much.

She tilts her head.

Lisa Seldon: How’s your face by the way?

Lucious seems irritated, which from the look on Lisa’s face is exactly where she’s going. He takes a few breaths, settling himself before he speaks to Lisa.

Lucious Starr: Yeah. About that. Look, I’ve tried everything in the book to get my World Championship match. I tried reasoning, but... well, you didn’t seem to see reason. I tried the business approach, but you didn’t accept that method. I tried to pull a power play, and obviously I didn’t get anywhere with that one. So... I guess what I came here to say...

Lisa Seldon: Yeah, Lucy? Spit it out...

Lucious Starr: I came here... to ask you... how I can prove myself worthy... of a title shot.

Lisa snorts a laugh as Lucious breathes deeply, not liking the taste of that last sentence on his tongue, as they both sit in silence for a moment. Lisa shakes her head in disbelief.

Lisa Seldon: So, let’s get this right? Months and months ago I ask you to prove that you deserve another shot and you spit it back in my face. I teach you a lesson and then you demand a title shot, you try to fight me, you try to fight Chamelion, you try to fight Strader and you lose on every account. And so following that, you’ve come full circle, and come back to trying to prove yourself to me?

She leans forward from her desk.

Lisa Seldon: Would that be correct, because it all sounds quite silly to me.

Lucious Starr: Look, it’s not my first choice, okay? I still have issues with the way you cost me my match against Stone at Spirit of ‘76. But it seems that no matter what cards I put on the table, you seem to trump me every time. So... I guess if you can’t beat them...

Lisa Seldon: Aaw, my little boy has learned reason. He’s all grown up.

She bats her eyelashes and looks on adoringly. He looks like he’s about to top himself.

Lisa Seldon: You know, I’ve had fun making you jump through hoops and generally just fucking you over while you come back and take it every time, but I’m not totally unreasonable… unless you’re Riona.

She has a look off to the side and then nods to herself.

Lisa Seldon: Anyway, watching you take all this shit on a weekly basis, well it’s been endearing. Now you’ve made an actual positive step, and I’m so impressed that I’m actually going to turn over my entire PWA life’s work on a whim.

Lucious Starr: Say what now?

Lisa Seldon: Yeah, I’m going to put in the good word and make that happen, because despite how much of a gormless loon you are, you’re essentially one of the few people who has actually come looking for a title shot, and continued to do so… even after that time I changed all the rules in your match and then kicked the shit out of you.

She’s laughing again.

Lisa Seldon: You remember that time? That was great.

He’s not laughing, so apparently he does remember. Admittedly, he looks more confused than anything else.

Lisa Seldon: Sorry, I keep getting off track. I’ll get you your title shot, and considering everything you’ve been through, maybe you’ll actually be driven enough to win it this time.

She goes back to sorting through her papers, while he stands there dumbfounded. Eventually she notices him.

Lisa Seldon: There’s no twist by the way, that was it. You can go now.

Starr turns and walks out the room, very slowly, like he’s waiting for her to add something that never actually comes. We fade out of shot.

Danger Boiz vs Starr and Danielson

Not Actually a Singles Match Singles Match (tag match)

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and has a twenty minute time limit! Introducing first.

As a mix of "Hero" by Skillet and "Mental Health" by Zebrahead blasts over the PA system, both Dangerous Dan and Crazy Chris enter from the curtain with each standing on one side of the rampway. The stare at each other, taunt the fans, and a blast of pyro explodes from behind them. They then meet in the middle where they high five each other. On their way to the ring, they interact with the fans on their designated side of the rampway. Dan jumps on the side of the ring and poses on the ropes, while Chris makes his way to the turnbuckle. Dan flips backwards over the ropes, while Chris backflips into the ring. They meet in the middle, where the pose for the fans.

Eric Emerson: Currently in the ring, weighing

in at a combined ((number)) pounds, they are Crazy Chris and Dangerous Dan, the Danger Bois!!

The duo continue to pose, as their music begins to die. They turn to the entrance ramp, awaiting their opponents.

Eric Emerson: And their opponents!!

Disturbed’s “Inside the Fire” hits the arena, bringing an uproar of cheers from the audience. Joshua Danielson steps out from behind the curtains, spreading his arms wide as he takes in the adulation. As he takes a few steps forward, Lucious Starr joins him from backstage. Joshua turns around, extending a hand to his friend, the larger man slapping him a five. They both turn to the ring, Danielson greeting the fans while Lucious stares determined at the ring.

Eric Emerson: Weighing in at a combined ((number)) pounds, they represent the Order of Chaos.

Danielson and Starr stop at the bottom of the entrance ramp, sternly saluting the crowd in Order of Chaos fashion. Many of those in attendance salute back, cheering as they start for the ring. Danielson charges in under the bottom rope as Lucious climbs the nearest steps, climbing onto the ring apron.

Eric Emerson: They are the team of Joshua Danielson and Lucious Starr, Hell and High Water!!

Danielson hops to the top of the nearest turnbuckle, waving to the fans. Lucious glares at their opponents for a moment, then climbs to the second rope of the turnbuckle adjacent to Danielson. They both hop down, shaking hands as they meet mid-ring. They turn to their opponents, ready to begin the match. They talk near their turnbuckle as the referee slides in, calling for the bell.

Brian Rentfro: And we’re underway! You gotta wonder, Jon, who has the upper hand in this match.

Jon McDaniel: This is true, Brian. The Danger Bois went three and oh for three consecutive weeks before their loss to the Cowgirls from Hell at Summer Sizzler. And even though Hell and High Water haven’t had a great number of wins, they are bound and determined to make an impact.

Brian Rentfro: Especially after their losses at the Sizzler.

The match gets under way, Danielson and Chris locking up ring center. Danielson attempts a side headlock, but Chris maneuvers out as he twists Joshua’s arm behind him. Danielson struggles for only a moment, springing up and dropping to the mat, throwing Chris across the ring. A blind tag as Chris gets up, Danielson quickly charging up with a leg lariat to Chris. He rolls up, coming face-to-face with Dangerous Dan, who nails a chop to the Punisher’s chest. Danielson drops back a few paces, Dan charging up for a clothesline. Danielson barely ducks in time, Dan stopping just shy of nailing his own partner on the apron. He turns, being met with a dropkick from Danielson, which topples Dan directly into Chris, both men falling to the floor. Danielson plays to the crowd as the two men recover on the outside, falling back. Starr gets the tag, but Danielson doesn’t stop his momentum as he charges across the ring, flying over the top rope and landing a double cross-body on the Danger Bois! The crowd is on its feet, already elated with the high-flying action.

Jon McDaniel: Exactly the kind of aerial skills that make the light heavyweight division such a huge attraction. But with Starr being the legal man, things can go one of two ways. Either the action slows to a pace that Starr can use to his advantage, or he tries to keep up and use their strength against them.

Brian Rentfro: I think we might see a simple beatdown of the Danger Bois, considering the fact that Starr is still extremely upset about his Sizzler match...

Danielson manages to his feet, Dan sliding into the ring to break the referee’s ten count. Starr closes in on his foe, stalking Dan as he gets to his feet. Chris gets to the apron, trying to taunt Starr long enough for Dan to get his bearings, but Lucious is focused. Dan turns, being met with a backhand to the chest. Dan stumbles into the ropes, holding his chest as Starr reaches out, hurling the cruiserweight across the ring with an irish whip. Dan grabs the ropes to stop his momentum, but is met with a kick to the back by Danielson. Dan drops to the mat as the referee scolds Joshua, Starr on the offense. He picks Dan to his feet, dragging him into a corner. He lifts Dan to the top turnbuckle, a throat thrust to assure Dan stays unaware. He mounts the second turnbuckle, placing Dan in a side headlock. This action is met with a punch to the abdomen, then another, and a third. Lucious releases his hold for a moment, trying to regain his balance, but is unsuccessful as Dan jumps, nailing a senton to Lucious as they hit the mat below. Dan rolls up to tag his partner, but finds himself in the wrong corner as Danielson fires a boot to his head. Dan drops, rolling a few feet as Lucious grabs the ring ropes, regaining his composure.

Brian Rentfro: Danielson seems to be on his toes tonight, taking every opportunity he has to make sure his team wins tonight.

Jon McDaniel: Yeah, but Starr seems... almost distracted, Brian. Like his head isn’t even in this match. He’d better get his bearings before he loses this match for Hell and High Water.

Starr is on his feet, staring down Dangerous. Danielson is bouncing on the apron, calling for a tag. Lucious eyes his foe, then walks over and casually tags in his partner. Danielson hops over the top rope, dropping an elbow to the back of Dan’s head. He kip ups to his feet, calling for the crowd to get involved. He picks Dan to his feet, throwing a quick right knee into his abdomen before irish whipping the Dangerous One across the ring, prepping for a leg lariat on the rebound. Chris makes the blind tag right on time, Dan heading straight for the Punisher. Danielson leaps, aiming to bring Dan to his knees, but is met with a running dropkick from Chris in mid-air. Danielson and Chris drop to the mat, Joshua grabbing his stomach. The referee is helping Dan out of the ring, allowing Starr to enter the ring as Chris gets to his feet. Crazy turns, seeing Starr coming and charges. Starr throws out an arm, Chris ducking under. Lucious turns, being met with a dropsault to the face. Starr drops to the mat, rolling out of the ring as Chris and Joshua get to their feet. Chris charges up, baseball sliding under Danielson. He hops up, looking for a quick dropkick. Danielson doesn’t wait, however, as he charges the ropes. Chris charges after, but is stunned as Danielson springboards off the ropes, nailing a chop kick to Chris. Chris falls, Danielson backflipping into a beautifully executed Moonsault Splash. He takes the cover, Dan charging in.

The pin is broken by Dan.

Danielson starts to his feet, but is quickly met with a left hook to the skull by Dangerous Dan. Lucious starts into the ring, but is stopped by the referee. Dan and Chris pick Danielson to his feet, Dan hitting a superkick to Danielson’s face as Chris hits a german suplex, keeping the bridge. Dan runs up to knock Starr off the apron, but Starr grabs the top rope and drops, Dan falling to the outside. At this point the referee sees the cover, sliding in for the pin.

THREee... NO! Starr breaks the count.

Brian Rentfro: Just when Starr and Danielson have this match in the bag, the Danger Bois come back with that determination and team savvy that got them a title shot.

Starr picks up Chris, slapping him one across the chest. Chris doubles over, Starr picking him up into a military press. He turns to his corner, Dan pulling himself to his feet. He launches Chris over the ropes, Dan catching his partner as they both crash into the ground.

Brian Rentfro: And there is the strength and focus of Lucious Starr, taking out the Danger Bois with...


Brian Rentfro: Starr and Danielson are now back in control of this match, and the crowd is roaring!

Starr slides outside the ring, checking on his partner before heading for his opponents. He picks up Dan to his feet, throwing him over his shoulder. He starts towards the crowd barrier, lifting Dan a few inches to throw him into the barrier, but Dan quickly struggles out and pushes Starr into the barricade instead. Danielson charges Dan, but is met from behind by a dropkick from Chris, which sends the Punisher into the barricade as well. The Danger Bois slide into the ring, stalking their opponents on the outside as they take in the anti-Order praise from the audience.

Jon McDaniel: Starr letting their edge get the better of him.

Brian Rentfro: Hey, that was a fluke. Lucious and Joshua can still come back. Just you watch.

Lucious starts to his feet on the outside, checking Danielson. Starr begins to help Joshua to his feet, but hears the crowd chanting as the Danger Bois move inside the ring, Lucious looking up just in time to see the two jump. He pushes Danielson away from the action, carefully stepping to one side just enough to position himself for their assault. Dan crashes and burns beside Danielson, while Chris lands square on Lucious’ shoulders with a seated senton... and is sent to the mat with a brutal powerbomb! Lucious places one hand on the floor, trying to regain his composure as he sits on his knees. The other three men are sprawled about the floor, none of them looking all too great, as Lucious slowly crawls to his partner.

Jon McDaniel: And the fighting spirit of Lucious Starr, taking the Danger Bois’ momentum and using it against them! The veteran knowledge of Lucious, executed in the most opportune of moments. Wow!

Starr helps Danielson to his feet, rolling his partner into the ring. He sets Danielson in the corner, taking his spot on the apron. Chris and Dan struggle to their feet, both men rolling into the ring. Dan checks his partner; that last powerbomb looks like it did some damage. Dan nods as he says something to his partner, both men moving to their corner. Dan slides out, grabbing the tag rope as Chris tags in his partner. Dan steps in, Danielson starting out of the corner. Dan throws a fist to Danielson’s jaw as they meet ring center, Danielson stumbling back a step. Dan grabs his arm, whipping the Punisher across the ring. Danielson rebounds, Dan looking for a clothesline. Danielson ducks, rebounding again as he looks for a lariat. Dan ducks under this time, turning as he awaits the rebound again, aiming for a dropkick. Danielson baseball slides under the aerial Dan, kip-upping to his feet as Dan hits the mat, Danielson quickly looking for a boston crab. Dan twists his body, throwing Danielson into the ropes. Danielson quickly turns, Dan back to his feet as he charges. Both men run, Danielson looking for a flying clothesline as Dan tries a wheel kick. Both miss, rolling to their feet and charge each other once more. Dan tries for a chop block, but Danielson hops over the Dangerous One, tagging Starr into the match. Dan turns, Danielson charging up. Dan ducks under, looking to surprise Danielson as he turns, but is met with a clothesline from Starr as Danielson rolls under the bottom rope. Dan stares at the ceiling, unsure of what just happened as Starr steps up to lock him into a single leg crab. The referee gets to one knee, checking for Dan’s submission.

Brian Rentfro: A great tag team move there, Danielson distracts Dangerous Dan long enough for Starr to get the upper hand. And now, we might be looking at a submission victory for Hell and High Water.

Dan refuses to submit, Chris cheering him on from the apron. He starts slapping the turnbuckle, gathering some support from the crowd as they will Dan back into the match. Danielson is back on the apron, trying to will on the crowd to support their victory, the Order-friendly in attendance cheering on Lucious. Dan surveys the ring, finding the two nearest ropes. He inches to the further one, seemingly making it harder for himself. Starr feels him moving, pulling him away from the ropes to which he is stretching. Dan makes his move, twisting his body just enough to get close to the other ropes, grabbing the bottom and clutching it for dear life. The referee calls for the break, Lucious looking back in disbelief as Dan continues to hold the rope. Lucious breaks the hold, taking a few steps back per the referee’s order. Dan struggles to one knee, the ref checking on his condition. Danielson shouts to Lucious, Starr heading for his corner. Danielson says something to his partner, Lucious nodding as he heads back for Dan. Dan quickly lashes out with an uppercut, causing Lucious to fall back a step. Dan lunges for Lucious, hitting the bigger man with a spear and rolling off. Lucious rolls to the ropes, pulling himself to one knee, gaining a shining wizard from Dan! Dan rolls up, quickly going over to tag in Chris. Chris stumbles in, charging across the ring. Starr is again on one knee, but is more aware now as he spots Chris, pushing himself into the ropes and launching off. Chris aims for a dropkick, but Starr sidesteps and rebounds again, Chris barely ducking the clothesline attempt. He starts to turn, but is met with a hard forearm to the back of the head. Chris starts to fall, but Lucious quickly grabs Chris around the waist and hoists him into a german suplex. Starr gets back to his feet, heading for his corner. He tags in Danielson, heading for the Danger Bois’ corner. Dan fires with a fist, but Starr blocks it and nails a shoulder block, sending Dan to the floor outside. Starr follows after, leaving Danielson and Chris in the ring.

Brian Rentfro: Chris took that brutal powerbomb earlier, but looks like he might be putting up a fight. But now the question is, as Lucious fights Dan in front of us, can Joshua put the final nail in the Danger Bois’ proverbial coffin?

Jon McDaniel: Chris and Danielson are on their feet... while Starr pummels Dan with the steel steps.

Danielson and Chris trade blows, trying to knock each other out. Danielson hits a left hook that sends Chris back a pace or two, but this sets Chris up for a dropsault. Danielson hits the mat, Chris with the cover.

Kick out by Danielson.

Chris ascends the turnbuckle, eyeing a still downed Danielson. He signals to the crowd, looking to end the match as Starr is distracted with Dan on the outside. Chris launches himself, looking for what appears to be a moonsault splash... but Danielson gets back to his feet, hitting a beautiful dropkick! Both men hit the mat, Chris clutching his gut as Danielson rubs his chin. On the outside, Starr whips Dan, but holds on as he pulls him back into a belly-to-belly suplex, throwing Dan into the barricade. Meanwhile Danielson picks Chris up to his feet, receiving a shot to the abdomen. Chris looks for a spinning roundhouse, but Danielson quickly reacts by pulling Chris into a schoolboy, the referee drops to the mat.





“Inside the Fire” hits the arena, Lucious turning to face his partner with a grin.

Eric Emerson: Here are your winners, the team of Joshua Danielson and Lucious Starr, HELL AND HIIIIIIIGH WAAATERRRRR!!!

“Come with Me” starts up, cutting into Danielson and Starr’s celebration and Chamelion, mic in hand, steps onto the stage to a welcoming ovation from the fans in attendance. Giving the fans a moment to settle, Chamelion waves to Lucious and then speaks.

Chamelion: Not bad, Lucy, not bad. You and Danielson pulled quite the upset here tonight. I say upset cause I like the Danger Boiz, but it seems they’ve lost a few steps after losing at Summer Sizzle. Ah, too bad.


Chamelion: Bet you wonder why I’m out here… I did say I had some major announcements to make, and now is the best time… let’s get to it, shall we?

The fans buzz with anticipation.

Chamelion: With our General Manager taking a short break from running things, I’m back to really stir the pot… and I do so love to throw in a few too many spices. I know a lot has been going on, what with Starr and Kalis both digging their heels into my turf, among other things, so quickly, let me share what’s going to happen in the next few weeks.

Chamelion: First, For Manitoba Mayhem, I’m granting Emily Corlen her desired shot at the PWA Grizzly Beer Championship, against current champion Marco Dante. However, next week, Emily will team with her partners Sarah and Katie James to face Marco Dante and the Danger Boiz in a six person tag team match.

Chamelion: On the subject of the Intercontinental Championship, our new champion Spykman will defend his new title against the winner of next week’s triple threat match which will feature Bronx Williams, Cody Bogard and The Phoenix. The two who don’t succeed will face each other at Manitoba Mayhem, and I may even throw in a tasty reward for the end of that match.

Chamelion: As for the PWA Tag-Team Champions… The Cowgirls from Hell will be defending their titles at Mayhem in a Tornado Tag-Team match against Frontline Turbo 2 and the team of Matt Stone & Xan Vaxman. I understand that Stone and Xan may feel they can choose their time, but guess what, I’m in charge and their time is now!

Chamelion: As for the rest of the roster, do check PWA.COM to see what you’ll be doing at Manitoba Mayhem, and the potential rewards that’ll come from it!

Chamelion: And now.. for the PWA world title…I am going to grant a wish… which will shock most everyone.. but Lucious Starr, you will get your chance to face Riona Langly for the PWA Championship… but it won’t be at Manitoba Mayhem… no, you will face Riona Langly next week on Chaos.. and when you lose, and lose you will, it will be your final shot! You will drop to the bottom and get no more undeserved title shots for ANY Championship here in the PWA!

Starr curses and glares up at Sommers, who then smirks widely.

Chamelion: Oh, and one last thing… there’s someone else who’d like to talk to you.

The ADC-Tron fades out and Starr and Danielson look confused but the sudden roar of the crowd gets their attention as from the ringside area, Katie and Sarah James rush in and lay out Starr and Danielson with steel chairs. They turn quickly to the Danger Boiz who were all this time sort of standing around in a daze and wallop them as well. Sarah and Katie then proceed to send a message to all four men with multiple chair shots before choosing Danielson as their example. Setting Danielson up, they signal to the crowd and then hit the Mortician's Makeover! Starr rolls out of the ring at this point, wobbling backwards up stage and Katie grabs a mic.

Katie James: We came here for blood, we came here for gold. Sommers may have declared who the Cowgirls from Hell will face at Manitoba Mayhem, but trust us both; we’re coming for the winners, and we’re coming for their blood!

Dropping the mic, Katie and Sarah stand over the broken Danielson in the ring, arms raised to the roar of the crowd.


The camera moves backstage, outside of the Bound by Blood locker room. The door is slightly open, and the camera peeks inside, where Jen, the stable's manager, is speaking.

Jen: Emily, you did great at Summer Sizzler. You went in there and got revenge for what Vaxman did to you a month ago, and now, you're in the main event tonight! That's how it should be! With Bound by Blood, that's how it WILL be.

Jen turns her attention to Sarah and Katie James, sitting nearby.

Jen: And you two... what happened? I thought you were going to lay out the Tag Team Champs at Summer Sizzler!

Sarah: We were going to.

Katie: But, we didn't.

Jen: And why not?

Sarah: We have something better in mind. Why beat down the Tag Team Champions...

Katie: ...when we can strike fear into their hearts instead?

Jen smirks slightly.

Jen: ...I'll be keeping an eye on the two of you. I'm excited to see where this goes. You have my full confidence.

Jen then turns back to Emily again, who is still holding the silver briefcase containing the PWA Grizzly Beer Title that she stole at Summer Sizzler.

Jen: You. Main event. We have planning to do. After tonight, the only thing on people's minds will be Bound by Blood.

Emily: Let's make it happen.

Jen opens her mouth to speak again, but notices the camera peeking in through the door and quickly slams it shut. A barely audible "nosy fuckers!" can be heard from behind the door before the camera shifts back to ringside.

Trent Sunderland vs Matt Stone

Little and Large Wacky Singles Match

We jump back from break just in time to see Matt Stone getting to hell as Trent takes up his frustrations with the referee. We then cut to a stunted series of replays, first showing Trent getting the dump on Matt Stone, then him looking a bit confused as Matt Stone looks dead on the mat and then looking particularly sunk as Matt Stone scores a flash rollup, steals the three and then gets to hell, all relatively unscathed.

Trent learns a hard lesson, and Matt Stone gets himself right back on track.

Changing of the Guard

There's a pitter patter knock on the door.

Lisa Seldon: Well, no one kicked in the door and the Spyke Signal isn’t on, so I’m guessing that’s ma buddy Kalis.

Kalis opens the door and chuckles as he closes it behind him.

Lisa Seldon: So what’s up Simon, who pissed in your coffee tonight? Who are you after?

Simon Kalis: You'd be wrong about that. I'm actually happy right now.

Lisa Seldon: Nu-uh, I don’t buy it.

Kalis smirks as he sits down, grunting slightly as he does so as he favors his ribs. He nods and smiles, and Lisa Seldon examines his cut up face and hands with uncertainty.

Lisa Seldon: Wow, Scott really messed you up, didn’t he?

Simon Kalis: He did, but he failed, and that's it. I proved I am the future of this company when I, along with the masterful Matthew Engel defeated Jethro Hayes and Scott Nash Strader.

Lisa Seldon: You've been placed on the injured reserves, Simon. You're only future is a beer and a bag of chips on your couch… she says knowing fine well that you’ll do whatever you feel like anyway.

Kalis smirks and shakes his head.

Simon Kalis: Forget that. You know why I'm here. It's all business today, Lisa.

Lisa Seldon: Oh you’re no fun sometimes. Why can’t you be more like the wacky black guys on the Fresh Prince instead of the serious ones on the Wire?

He does his best to ignore her.

Simon Kalis: Next week... You know what's happening, right?

Lisa Seldon: Yeah I do. Seems fair choice though. I mean, someone has to be here stopping you getting killed while I’m away.

Kalis gets up, clutching his ribs before he straightens himself out and smiles. He wipes his face, the innumerable stitches and scars almost unbearable to look at as he nods.

Simon Kalis: Have a good trip, Lisa.

Lisa Seldon: Sure will. And when I get back, I want to find out that you raised absolute hell and set everything on fire.

Kalis stomps his foot down and salutes her.

Simon Kalis: Sieg Heil, Lisa.

Kalis turns around and laughs as he leaves the room.

Bronx Williams vs Jimmy Henderson

Family Fortunes Fuckfest o' Pain (that got cancelled and become another) Singles Match

The cameras cut to the ring with Eric Emerson shuffling his index cards, bringing the mic to his mouth.

Eric Emerson: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit!

The ADC-Tron shows the Confederate battle flag and the American flag, crossed at the poles on a black screen as the amp warm up for "Hell Yeah" by HellYeah is heard and then the words "American by Birth but Southern by the Grace of God" appear below it.

"Fuck the norm, I can’t understand
Live my life, by the rules of no one
I am me, that can’t be wrong
I do what I do, when I do, that’s how I like it
Conformity, amputate my soul
Made of stone, smashed the mold
Indifferent, so fuck you all that
Whine, bitch, nag, complain, cry"

Eric Emerson: Now coming to the ring, he weighs in tonight at 191 pounds and standa at a height of 5 feet, 9 inches tall...

"If ya don’t give a shit ya getcha’ hellyeah
Throwin’ fists in the pit ya getcha’ hellyeah
Think you’re fuckin’ with this well hell no.
Balls, volume, strength getcha come on
Drinking beer smoking weed ya getcha’ hellyeah
Gotta bruised attitude ya getcha’ hellyeah,
Think you’re fuckin’ with this well hell no
Balls, volume, strength getcha’ come on"

Jimmy walks from behind the curtain and starts to walk to the ring a bit, and then stop on the aisle to converse a bit with a random fan, all smiles.

Eric Emerson: Hailing from Burlington, Vermont by way of Mobile, Alabama, he is "The Renegade Southerner"...

"Fuck you all, that won’t understand
Be a man, no more and no less,
I’m just me, no matter what you say,
I am, who I am , what I am, that’s how I like it
Typical, fucking lifeless clones
My attitude, embrace my own
I don’t care, so just walk away and live your
Dull, dead, bland, boring, life"

After a bit of conversation and a few hand slaps and several "Hell Yeah!"'s flashing on the screen behind him showing different clips of Jimmy from different angles between flashes.

Eric Emerson: ...JIMMY HENDERSON!!!

"If ya don’t give a shit ya getcha’ hellyeah
Throwin’ fists in the pit ya getcha’ hellyeah
Think you’re fuckin’ with this well hell no.
Balls, volume, strength getcha’ come on
Drinking beer smoking weed ya getcha’ hellyeah
Gotta bruised attitude ya getcha’ hell yeah,
Think you’re fuckin’ with this well hell no
Balls, volume, strength getcha’ come on"

After few more steps, Jimmy dashes towards the ring with vigor and slides in under the ropes and then pushes to his feet, then starts jogging the ring and bouncing off the ropes to limber up a bit.

"Don’t give a fuck and don’t think I ever will,
For the prim and the proper it’s a shallow jagged pill,
Don’t really care if you like me
I just hold up my drink and get my HELLYEAH!
So point your fingers and throw your stones,
I’ll be smokin’ and drinkin’ and breaking fucking bones
To all you fuckin’ people thinking you’re better than me,
I hold up my middle finger and give my hellyeah!"

In the middle of the song verse, Jimmy actually goes off to a nearby turnbuckle and climbs it, flipping the double bird and screaming out "Hell Yeah", having a whole crowd of middle fingers come back at him and a resounding "Hell Yeah!" right back at him to which he grins widely.

"If ya don’t give a shit ya getcha’ hellyeah
Throwin’ fists in the pit ya getcha’ hellyeah
Think you’re fuckin’ with this well hell no.
Balls, volume, strength getcha’ come on
Drinking beer smoking weed ya getcha’ hellyeah
Gotta bruised attitude ya getcha’ hellyeah,
Think you’re fuckin’ with this well hell no
Balls, volume, strength getcha’ come on"

Got your whiskey and weed
Balls volume and strength"

Jimmy hops down from the ring post, doing a 180 degree spin in mid air before landing on his feet and he walks to the center of the ring, stretching out as "Hell Yeah!" dies down, replaced by the opening basslines of Filter's "Hey Man, Nice Shot."

McDaniel: Jimmy Henderson's making his Chaos debut tonight against Bronx Williams, a man who's no stranger to this crowd.

Rentfro: I do NOT envy this kid.

Eric Emerson: Introducing next, from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York...

The camera first pans to the walkway. Noticing nobody is coming down it finally pans into the crowd where it settles on the front row.

'I wish I would've met you
Now its a little late
What you could've taught me
I could've saved some face
They think that your early ending
Was all wrong'

Eric Emerson: Weighing in at 245 pounds and standing at 6 feet, 4 inches tall...

A hooded figure is seen stalking through a break in the crowd, ignoring security and fans alike. As he pushes his hood back, the crowd sees that it is Bronx Williams. Bronx steps over the guard railing and just stares at the ring.

'For the most part they're right
But look how they all got strong
That's why I say hey man, nice shot
What a good shot, man'

Williams looks up at Henderson, who jogs in place, readying himself.

'That's why I say hey man, nice shot
What a good shot, man'

Eric Emerson: He is...BRONX WILLIAMS!!!!

Williams walks halfway around the ring, studying his opponent as he slides off his hooded sweatshirt. The chorus of the song picks up...


...and slides under the bottom ring ropes, charging right at Henderson and laying in with swift blows. Emerson rushes out of the ring as referee Scott Swindell calls for the bell.


McDaniel: We're off right away!

Williams levels Henderson with a big right hand, the momentum sending Jimmy right back to his feet only to get knocked back down again. And again.

Rentfro: Bronx is a house on fire tonight!

Williams brings Henderson to his feet by the hair as Swindell yells at him to let go, but Bronx shrugs it off, sending Jimmy into the corner. He follows in with a big corner clothesline that sees Jimmy drop to a knee afterward, holding his jaw. Bronx boots him in the side of the head before picking him up onto his shoulder, throwing him face-first into the top turnbuckle pad.

McDaniel: Snake Eyes to "The Renegade Southerner"...

Henderson stumbles back, still holding his jaw, and Bronx gets him a rear waistlock. He lifts him up for a German suplex, sending him over towards the canvas.

Rentfro: Henderson flips through!

Jimmy lands on his feet, prompting Bronx to rush to his feet. He charges in with a clothesline attempt that Henderson ducks before drilling him twice in the lower back with a pair of mid-level roundhouse kicks. Williams winces from it and looks for a back elbow that Henderson also ducks, nailing a pair of mid-level kicks to Bronx's gut that doubles him over.

McDaniel: Henderson off the ropes...

Bronx drops down to the mat, looking to trip Henderson up, but Jimmy continues running by hopping over him, rebounding off of the opposite set of ropes. Bronx ducks down and back body drops Henderson over him, but Jimmy twists in mid-air and lands on his feet behind him. Henderson locks on a rear waistlock of his own, but Bronx breaks it with ease before drilling a back elbow into the side of his head, dazing his younger opponent.

McDaniel: Bronx off the ropes...

Williams stops short as Henderson jumps up for a leapfrog attempt, catching the rookie off-guard long enough to land a standing spinning wheel kick that folds Henderson in half like an accordion. Bronx quickly covers, placing his forearm into Jimmy's face.



Rentfro: Henderson gets a shoulder up at 2.

McDaniel: And it looks like Bronx is completely undeterred...

Williams stands up and stomps Henderson quick in the face before sitting him up, drilling a swift kick to his back.

Rentfro: A nice tap to the spine...

Bronx stands him up and whips him into the corner, calmly walking in before drilling a right hand into Jimmy's jaw. Henderson reels back from the force, quickly retaliating with a shot to Bronx's jaw. Williams steps back, stunned from both Henderson's quickness of retaliation and the shot itself, allowing Jimmy to nail a few more rights to Bronx's jaw. Williams staggers back again, allowing Jimmy to turn around and quickly leap up onto the top rope just to the side of the corner, springboard off with a moonsault.


Rentfro: NO!!

Bronx ducks under the soaring Henderson, causing Jimmy to land chest-first on the canvas. He rises to all-four's, gasping for air, and Bronx rushes in, locking on a front facelock to drag Jimmy to his feet. He lifts him up into the air for a vertical suplex before quickly dropping down, slamming the back of Jimmy's head into the mat.

McDaniel: Just an absolutely BRUTAL brainbuster by Bronx right there.

Rentfro: It doesn't look like he's done, either.

Bronx keeps a hold of Jimmy and turns over, rising to his feet as he places his head between his thighs.

McDaniel: It looks like he's going for a powerbomb...

Williams whips Henderson up only to eat a downward elbow to crown of his head, forcing him to drop his smaller opponent. Jimmy nails a pair of quick roundhouse kicks to Bronx's head before hitting him with a lightning-fast spinning back kick to the midsection, doubling Williams over as he drops to a knee.

McDaniel: Henderson into the corner...!

The fans pop as Henderson displays his amazing athleticism, leaping immediately to the top rope before corkscrewing off at the rising Bronx Williams.


McDaniel: NO!!!

Henderson goes to flip Bronx over but Williams holds on, deadlifting Jimmy back up onto his shoulders.

McDaniel: Oh MAN!!

Williams goes to slam Jimmy down to the mat, but Henderson surprises him by forcing himself out, grapevining his legs around Bronx's right arm as he cinches in an armbar.

Rentfro: Surprise!!!

McDaniel: that...Six Seconds of Magic...?!

Rentfro: No, that's what happens when you walk into a video booth with a hole conveniently cut out of the wall.

Jimmy wrenches in the surprise armbar as Bronx reaches the ropes, grabbing the middle rope. Referee Scott Swindell comes in, yelling at Henderson to break the hold.

Scott Swindell: He's got the ropes, break it up! 1! 2!

Henderson ignores the referee's demands, wrenching the hold in even tighter as Bronx grits his teeth, shaking his head.

Scott Swindell: 3! 4!

Bronx finally takes matters into his own hands...or, rather, feet by stomping Henderson hard in the face, forcing him to break it up. Williams shakes his right arm out and stomps Henderson again in the face before walking over, drilling the bottom of his boot into Henderson's left wrist.

McDaniel: Methodical stomping by Bronx Williams.

Rentfro: It's like he's looking to break...

A stomp to Jimmy's left ankle. One to his right ankle.

Rentfro: ...each of his limbs...

One to Jimmy's right wrist, followed by a pair of them to his chest before Williams brushes his hair out of his face, looking around the arena with a sick smile on his face.


McDaniel: That sounds about accurate, Brian.

Bronx grabs Williams by the hair and brings him to his feet, placing his head between his thighs and underhooking both of his arms.

McDaniel: Bronx could be looking for that double-underhook backbreaker that he loves to use...

Bronx lifts Henderson up vertically before dropping to a knee, but Henderson breaks free and slides over Bronx's shoulder, landing on a knee behind him. Before Williams can react, however, Henderson leaps up and nails a pair of boots to the back of his head, stunning him. Jimmy rushes to his feet and brings Bronx to his, drilling a pair of forearms into his jaw before whipping him into the ropes.

McDaniel: Reversal by Bronx!

Rentfro: Henderson off the ropes...

Bronx lines up for a clothesline, but Jimmy ducks underneath it, turning around to meet Bronx in the center of the ring. Williams turns and Henderson surprises him by leaping up, wrapping his legs around his head before flipping backwards.

McDaniel: Picture-perfect hurricanrana!!

Swindell drops down for the count.





Henderson slaps the mat, frustrated, and rises to his feet, looking at the ropes and then back at Williams. He points up into the air, nodding, and walks over towards the ropes, his back to Williams.

McDaniel: Oh, he's going for it...!

Jimmy grabs the top rope with both hands, taking a deep breath, and then leaps up onto it before springboarding off with a moonsault, heading towards the downed Bronx Williams.

McDaniel: HEY Y'ALL, WATCH THIS...!!

Rentfro: NO!!

Bronx gets his knees up, reversing it, but Jimmy lands on his feet next to Williams. Bronx quickly rises to his feet, rushing in.

McDaniel: DECAPITATING clothesline!!

Rentfro: WRONG AGAIN!!

Henderson ducks under the clothesline attempt, readying himself.

McDaniel: Whistling Dixie...NO!! BRONX CATCHES HIS FOOT!!

Williams shakes his head, breathing out through gritted teeth, and throws Henderson's foot down, booting him in the midsection to double him over before nailing a brutal point-blank lariat to the back of his skull, causing him to drop down to the canvas like a ton of bricks. Williams moves to attack, but he’s caught by a sound through the arena.

Brian Rentfro: Do you hear that?

Jon McDaniel: Sounds like hoof-beats.

Bronx turns this way and that as lights surround the arena, and the sound of Cowboys From Hell crushes the sound system. Bronx’s eyes get caught to the screen as Scott Nash’s video picks up. However it’s the foot beneath his jaw that really catches his attention, as Bronx gets caught with a vicious Superkick that sends him to the canvas.


Henderson flies down on top of Bronx, hooking both of his legs before rolling forward into a jacknife pin as Swindell drops down for the count.




Henderson flies off of Bronx as Williams rolls to his side, holding his jaw as Swindell signals for the bell.


HellYeah's "Hell Yeah!" cues back up as Jimmy rolls out of the ring, leaning against the ring apron as Swindell reaches through the ropes, lifting his hand up into the air in victory.

Eric Emerson: Your winner of the match...JIMMY HENDERSON!!!

Henderson lowers his arm and slaps a few high-five's at ringside as he makes his way up the ramp, occasionally looking back at the ring to see Bronx slide out, still holding his jaw.

McDaniel: Looks like the rest of the Straders aren’t keen on the friends Bronx is keeping these days.

Rentfro: Just cost him the win too.

McDaniel: Still, what an impressive Chaos debut tonight from "The Renegade Southerner" Jimmy Henderson.

Rentfro: Indeed it was, Jon.

Bronx hops back over the guardrail after snatching up his hoodie, shoving errant fans aside as he walks into the crowd while Henderson backs through the ramp, smiling.

Rentfro: Indeed it was.

Corey Lazarus vs Jethro Hayes

Also Super Singles Match

The cameras cut back to the ring where we find Eric Emerson bringing the microphone to his mouth.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a...!

He is cut off by the rolling of an old fashioned, black and white film countdown on the ADC-Tron, the film flickering and a beep heard after every digit.

A trio of drumrolls cue up Slayer's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida," and the guitars ring as the bass carries the main melody. Chug-chug-chug-chug goes both guitars before going into the main melody along with the bass, and, at the 27-second mark, Corey Lazarus and Gregory Price emerge from the entrance curtain, with Price chomping away on a stick of gum in his mouth and Corey sipping on a bottle of Aquafina. Laz's eyes, as usual, stay hidden behind his trademark pair of silver-rimmed Ray Ban's, and he hangs his arms at his sides after he runs his fingers over his moustache and goatee, sliding his hands into the pockets of his acid wash jeans after he rolls the sleeves up of his black Dying Fetus DESTROY THE OPPOSITION long-sleeve tee.

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby!=~

Rentfro: Look at Emerson! He's all disheveled that Laz and Price interrupted him!

Lazarus steps further onto the stage, turning around slowly to take a quick look at the ADC-Tron before stopping at the end of the stage, his back to the ramp and the ring before turning around. Price pats his client on the shoulder, and then looks at the ADC-Tron with him.

~=Don't you know that I love you?!=~

McDaniel: The audacity of Laz sometimes...

Rentfro: What do you mean?

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey!=~
~=Don't you know that I'll ALWAYS be true?!=~

McDaniel: I mean there's not a chance in hell that Laz doesn't know Jethro hasn't been cleared by the doctors!

Lazarus jogs in place at the end of the stage as the guitars duel into the start of the first chorus, shaking out his limbs, and throws a few shadow punches and kicks into the air.

~=Oh, won't you come with me?=~
~=And take my hand?=~

Price points up at the ADC-Tron, focusing everybody's attention to images of Laz's glory: dropping Demise head-first into a casket via the Mercury Driver to claim the PWA World Heavyweight title at High Stakes '08; drilling Riona Langly with a picture-perfect example of the Sands of Ishtar for his first Intercontinental title at Genesis IX; dropping Thunderwolf down with the Box Office Bomb to claim the first fall in their classic 2/3 Falls match at Genesis X; and, most recently, sending Cody Bogard through the Million Dollar Pyramid from Chaos.

~=Oh, won't you come with me?!=~
~=And walk this land?!=~

The guitars divebomb, and Laz starts making his way down the ramp, looking out around the arena, spying on every bit of the crowd in front of him.


The drums beat along as Corey bangs his head with them and the main melody of the song returns, Lazarus taking a sip from his Aquafina as he stops halfway down the ramp.

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, baby!=~
~=Don't you know that I love you?!=~

Laz jaws with some fans in the front row as Price laughs while the duo continue making their way down the ramp. The L-A-Z turns back around to watch himself on the ADC-Tron one last time, his trademark devilish smirk on his face as he walks backwards.

~=In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, honey!=~
~=Don't you know that I'll ALWAYS be true?!=~

Corey turns around to face the ring as they reach the bottom of the ramp, the guitars dueling before the chorus, and then pulls himself up onto the apron, placing one foot in the ring between the top and middle ropes, using one hand to hold the top rope for balance and the other to cover his eyes as he scans the crowd again. Price walks over to the ringsteps, scaling them with a cocky swagger as he walks onto the apron next to Laz, chomping away on his gum.

~=Oh, won't you come with me?!=~
~=And take my hand?!=~

Lazarus steps into the ring and then walks to the middle of the ring, his hands on his hips and his trademark devilish smirk on his face. Price steps in afterwards, pointing the entire time to his client as he applauds him. The music keeps pounding away as Corey drops to a knee, his head bowed and a single fist placed on the mat, his other hand resting on his knee.

~=Oh, won't you come with me?!=~
~=And walk this land?!=~

The guitars divebomb as Lazarus bobs his head to the beat of the drums, breathing heavier and heavier as he does so.


Corey leaps to his feet as the main riff returns at the end of the chorus, his arms spread out to his side after he rips his Ray Ban's off, turning his body around to all sides of the arena as flashbulbs go off everywhere. Price snatches the microphone out of Emerson's hands to minor protest before he hands it over to Lazarus, who just slides his hand over his head before bringing the mic to his face.

Lazarus: Cut the fucking music.

"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" dies down immediately, replaced by a chorus of resentment from the crowd.

McDaniel: He's not even dressed to wrestle!

Rentfro: Of course he's not! You said it yourself, Jethro hasn't been cleared!

McDaniel: I know, but he's not even showing even a small amount of respect.

Corey cracks his neck to the side as the fans continue booing him, shaking his head as Price chuckles.

Lazarus: You know, I can stand here all night if I really want to, so how about you people just shut your mouths so that the L-A-Z can cut another promo, you dig?

More boos from the PWA faithful mixed with a small, but very vocal, pro-Lazarus section of the crowd.

Lazarus: Whatever.

McDaniel: Of course they're not going to shut up, Corey!

Rentfro: Yeah, these people are rude!

McDaniel: I hate you sometimes...

Corey scratches his cheek before clearing his throat, lowering his Ray Ban's to the tip of his nose.

Lazarus: Two weeks all bore witness to the ranks of the Order of Chaos growing stronger with the addition of three key players - a young upstart by the name of Xan Vaxman, a man you've all seen destroy people in the center of this ring for years by the name of Bronx Williams, and the Hollywood Kid himself, Corey Lazarus.

Fans: {{unintelligible boos, jeers, hisses, and cat-calls}}

Lazarus: Yeah, rabble, rabble, rabble, whatever. You saw the three of us join the likes of the Dynasty of Chaos, Masakazu and Maya; of Lucious Starr, a man who has virtually no fear; of Joshua Danielson, one of the few young talents to have entered this company and stick with it regardless of the knowledge they may never reach the heights of some of their elders; and, of course, of one Simon Kalis. Just a few days later, I revealed - via my personal fansite, FeelTheLazarush dot com - that the entire reason that the Order of Chaos even set its sites upon the Pioneer Wrestling Association was because of my deep, deep...

Corey turns to the nearest camera, stepping in close to it to force a close-up.

Lazarus: ...DEEP pockets.

He steps back into the center of the ring, clearing his throat.

Lazarus: See, kids, I looked all over the PWA and how it was from the moment that my contract ran out the week after Who's The Man back in 2009. I saw how my public perception had gone from being the single most feared, respected, and honored man in this entire industry to one that everybody used as a punchline, a man who people considered a has-been or, in the eyes of the ignorant, a never-was. I read the articles online. I watched the vlogs on YouTube.

McDaniel: VLOG?!

Rentfro: A video blog. Get with the program, Jon.

Lazarus: I heard every word that was said about me, every mention of "Corey Lazarus is finished" and every utterance of "Lazarus just doesn't have what it takes anymore," and I took it all to heart. I stewed upon those words, kids, and I came to only one conclusion. And that conclusion?

Corey looks back at Price and shakes his head, shoving his Ray Ban's back up over his eyes.

Lazarus: That this company NEEDED me and it just didn't know it yet. See, I touched upon it about, oh, a week and a half ago, but it really does need to be said again - despite others getting opportunity after opportunity, chance after chance, to be a part of the main event and to headline the major shows, I had to FORCE my way through the proverbial glass ceiling time and time again. I had to spill my guts on the floor in order to get any chance to advance in this business, God dammit!

A few fans boo, but most stay silent.

Lazarus: I broke my body down match after match in this ring, in the PW-fucking-A, and in rings all over this fucking planet just to get ahead, refusing to play the political games that everybody else, men and women with not even a third of the talent that I have in my left testicle, did to get ahead. I never bent over and grabbed my ankles in front of the boss to get ahead. I never got down on my knees and left my mouth wide open. I came out to this ring and kicked ass and took names, laying claim to being one of the few people in this entire sport who could out-wrestle, out-strike, out-fly, and out-hardcore just about anybody who could ever lace up a pair of boots, and what did I get? I had to break myself down to near-immobility just to get a chance at the World title and it.

Silence. They're actually paying attention.

Lazarus: I held the World title for twenty-eight days until that son of a bitch Mark McNasty somehow weaseled his way into contention for it and cheated me out of it, and did I get a rematch? No. Not for the gold, anyway. I kicked McNasty's ass all over the building two weeks after I lost the title but oh no, Robinson got enough shots at the belt despite not once - not fucking ONCE - coming close to winning the belt. Then a year goes by and I only received ONE other shot at the belt in a match where every other person had me directly in their cross-hairs. I was cheated out of it AGAIN. Let me ask all of you a question...

McDaniel: Oh jeez...

Corey climbs up onto the second turnbuckle, facing out at the crowd.

Lazarus: If you constantly prove yourself to be the best in your particular place of employment - by making the most money, by doing the best job, by just being the undeniable BEST that your company has to offer - and you don't get the opportunity for advancement that your peers have, despite them coming nowhere near your level of excellence, don't you just get a little bit...pissed off?

Corey hops down from the second turnbuckle, walking back into the center of the ring.

Lazarus: And that's why I did it. That's why the Order of Chaos got that call from me early last summer. That's why Price negotiated a deal to get Kalis and Masakazu into this company, to get Kalis on the Board of Directors, and to bring back the Living Icon. That's why Scott Nash Strader's had the trouble he's had with the Order, that's why the entire PWA roster has been going through Depends as if they just bought stock in them, and that's why Jethro Hayes is in such bad shape that the doctors won't even let him out of the hospital, let alone clear him to compete tonight.


Corey raises an eyebrow, flashing his trademark devilish smirk.

Lazarus: What? You didn't know that he wasn't going to be here tonight?


McDaniel: Of course they didn't! We just found out right before we went on the air!

Lazarus: Well, I'm terribly sorry to burst your bubbles, folks, but "The Southern Hero" - "The Southern HYPOCRITE" - is just not going to be able to make it out here tonight.

Suddenly, over the PA system...

}}Time for a little{{

The fans pop HUGE. Corey turns to the ramp as Colt Ford's special remake of his song "Ride Through the Country" cues up, producing Jethro Hayes - wrapped in so many bandages that he resembles a mummy more than a wrestler and limping as if he were auditioning for a new George Romero film - from behind the curtain.



~Down the road where the black top ends, you can find Jethro Hayes with all his friends, we're used to gravel roads, and fishin' with cane poles, wasn't no swimmin' pools, jus swimmin' holes.~

Hayes shambles to the end of the stage, dropping down to a knee not out of propriety or chivalry but rather out of a virtual inability to fully move. Referees filter out from the back - Dwayne Cross, Scott Swindell, Danny Davis, Lance Weston, and even some rookies on loan from local indies as reserves - and surround Jethro, trying to prevent him from going any further.

Lazarus: Don't even try it, Hayes.

Jethro forces himself to his feet, still marching down the ramp.

~We was dirt road poor, and cane switched raised, done came a long way since back in them days, been ‘round the world twice seen all fifty states, ate on thousand dollar china, but love sum paper plates , there aint nuthin wrong with them big city lights, but me, I prefer them slow country nights, where I can see the darkness come and then go~

Lazarus: You've already been through the nine circles of Hell courtesy of Matt and Simon, Jethro. You don't want ANYTHING that I can offer tonight.

Hayes falls down to a knee again, the scourge of referees rushing around him like flies on carrion. Hayes grabs the shirt of Dwayne Cross and uses it for leverage to pull himself to his feet, his eyes fixed on Corey in the ring. Jethro begins to fall down again but shoves Scott Swindell out of his way, using the momentum to keep himself standing up straight.

McDaniel: The pain that Jethro Hayes must be in has to be downright excruciating!

Hayes shuffles forward a few steps before almost dropping back down to a knee again, forcing himself back up immediately.

Lazarus: Jethro...JETHRO...

Corey leans up against the top rope nearest the ramp, pointing down at Jethro as he continues to shamble forward.

Lazarus: ...DON'T.

Hayes grabs referee Lance Weston by his collar, barking something indecipherable at him. Weston looks at him, shocked, and Jethro nods, pointing up to Lazarus in the ring. Corey shakes his head as he slides off his Ray Ban's, handing them over to Price who just places them into the inner breast pocket of his sportscoat.

Rentfro: What the hell is Jethro thinking?!

Lance Weston: Are you sure, Jethro?!

Hayes just nods, pointing again to Corey in the ring. Lazarus rolls his sleeves up further and steps back, tapping the toes of his combat boots against the canvas. Weston rushes over to Eric Emerson at ringside, yelling into his ear as "Ride Through the Country" stops playing. Emerson looks at Weston, confused, and just shakes his head as he brings the microphone to his mouth.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 20-minute time limit. Already in the ring, he hails from Hollywood California...COREY LAZARUS!!!

Corey shakes his head while Jethro slides under the bottom rope, crawling slowly to get fully into it.

Eric Emerson: Next, he comes to us from Lenox, Georgia...JETHRO HAYES!!!

Weston slides into the ring, waving the other referees away, and calls for the bell.

Lazarus: Hey, fine by me, Jethro. If you want to get treated like the piece of trailer park trash that you are? Hey, man, rock n' roll.


Corey tosses the mic out of the ring and rushes into Hayes, drilling him with rights into the side of his head as Hayes struggles to even get to his feet. Lazarus hits a pair of swift kicks to Jethro's forehead before bringing him to his feet, locking him into a loose arm triangle before dropping him down to the mat with a Uranage suplex.

McDaniel: OH, C'MON!!

Corey springs back to his feet and looks down at Jethro, shaking his head.

Lazarus: This is what you wanted, right?! Right, Jethro?! You wanted redemption in front of these sheep, right?!

Corey boots Hayes in the head before dropping to a knee, grabbing him by the few bits of hair sticking out of his bandages to sit him up.

Lazarus: C'mon, get up, you piece of shit!

Weston: Hey, let go of the hair! 1! 2!

Lazarus drags Jethro up to his feet before backing up, "framing" Hayes with his hands before nodding.

McDaniel: Oh dammit...will you leave the guy alone?!

Corey charges in and nails a kick to the inside of Jethro's thigh, then one to his ribs with his other foot before leaping forward into him, sandwiching the head of the Southern Hero with a rising Muay Thai knee and a downward elbow strike.

Rentfro: COMBO NUMBER 5!!

McDaniel: ...just give the guy a break...

Jethro falls to a heap on the mat as Corey hops back, ready to strike again. Hayes rolls onto his side as Laz stands up, dusting off his shoulders and knees, and can only make unintelligible grunting.

McDaniel: Oh, he's out...Jethro's out...he's not even supposed to be out here!

Rentfro: Hey, he chose to come out, Jon! Everybody knows that if you decide to go into the ring, especially if you're injured beforehand, that you're taking your health into your own hands.

Corey nudges Jethro over onto his back with just a push of the foot, dropping down to a knee to place a hand on his chest.

Lazarus: Hey, stripey, count!

Weston shakes his head and, begrudgingly, drops down.



McDaniel: Oh, this is sick...


Jethro's shoulder gets up from the weak cover, prompting a death glare from the Hollywood Kid. Lazarus stands up, his hands on his hips, and looks around the arena, tonguing the inside of his cheek.

McDaniel: Just throw him out of the ring, Corey. Take the count-out victory.

Corey nods as he looks over at Price on the apron, smirking, and then sits Jethro up by a handful of hair. He nails a stiff low roundhouse to Jethro's upper back, followed by another with his other leg to the chest before he hits the ropes behind him, charging towards Hayes before leaping up and turning behind him, drilling a knee into the back of his head.


McDaniel: Please, just cover him and end this...

Hayes falls down to the mat and, instinctively, rolls onto his side as Corey crouches down, his arms spread out to his sides with a huge shit-eating grin on his face.


Corey stands up and takes a bow to each of the four sides of the ropes, mouthing "thank you" each time.


McDaniel: I'm with them!

Rentfro: Hey, there's still a match to call!!

Hayes twitches in the center of the ring as Weston checks on him, prompting Corey to casually walk over and place his foot on Jethro's chest, motioning for Weston to make the count.





Rentfro: WHAAAAAT?!?!

Corey steps back, his eyes wide open with a mix of rage and slight fear, before he drops to his knees, driving a flurry of fists into Jethro's face.


Right. Right. Right. Forearm. Downward elbow. Weston tries to intervene but gets shoved away. Right. Right. Corey stands up and stomps him in the side of the head. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

Lazarus: ...are you done yet...?

Hayes, blood seeping through his bandages, rolls onto his stomach, trying to force himself up.

Fans: JETH-RO!! **clap, clap** JETH-RO!! **clap, clap**

McDaniel: He's still trying to fight!

Rentfro: Because he's not smart enough to just let the end happen!

Corey shakes his head as Jethro struggles to even rise to his hands and knees, his arms trembling from the pressure as bits of blood seep right through his bandages and drip onto the canvas. Lance Weston looks on, shaking his head, and Laz looks up at the crowd, his face lacking all emotion.

McDaniel: Dammit, Laz, just stop it!!

Corey shoots in and picks Jethro up to his feet, lifting him up into an Argentine Rack.


Corey turns to face each section of the audience, stretching Hayes out while he's in the Rack, and then shakes his head before he drops to his knees, sending Jethro down to the mat on the very top of his head.


Jethro's body crumples into a heap on his head, one arm stuck behind him and the other between his legs, his right leg raised up near his chest and his left twitching ever-so-slightly behind him. Corey stands up and looks down at Jethro before backing away, shaking his head and muttering...

Lazarus: ...I warned you, Jethro...I warned you...

...before screaming...

Lazarus: ...I FUCKING WARNED YOU!!!!

Weston checks on Hayes and immediately throws up an X, prompting a plethora of security guards and EMTs to rush down the ramp. Weston runs over to the side of the ring near Eric Emerson, calling for the bell his entire way over.


McDaniel: Thank God it's over...

Rentfro: Oh, c'mon!

Weston says something to Emerson who, begrudgingly, nods his head, bringing the microphone to his face. The EMTs place the stretcher on the canvas behind Hayes, slowly rolling him into it before fitting him with a neck brace. Corey slides out of the ring, joining up with Price at the bottom of the ramp as both men stare at the fallen Grand Slam champion, their eyes void of emotion. Lazarus shakes his head before looking down at the ramp, pushing Price by the shoulder to turn, the duo heading back up the ramp towards the back.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has just informed me that Jethro Hayes is in no condition to continue this bout. Therefore, the winner of the match, as a result of referee's decision...COREY LAZARUS!!!

"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" cues back up at the beginning of the first verse while Lazarus and Price stop at the top of the ramp, their backs towards the ring. Corey tongues his bottom lip, hands on his hips, and shakes his head.

Lazarus: ...let's go...

The two walk behind the curtain, showered by boos, as the EMTs and security slide Jethro out of the ring, attaching the stretcher he's strapped down onto to the gurney they rolled out with them.

McDaniel: I...I can't...just, no...

They begin wheeling Jethro up the ramp as the fans continue to mix their pro-Jethro cheers and their anti-Laz boos.

Duff Cote d’Ivore vs The Spykeman!

Super(hero) Singles Match

We go to a commercial featuring all of the new Spykeman! products. Spykeman! Shirts. Spykeman! capes. Spykeman! Masks. Spykeman! Inflatable Hammers. Spykeman! Upholstery Needles. Spykeman! Spoons. Delicious Spykeman! Hotcakes. (They're selling like hotcakes)

We come back from commercial to see Spykeman! and Duff Idontcaretolookuphowtospellhislastname facing each other down. Duff gets frustrated because Spykeman! keeps making faces at him.


Duff rushes at Spykeman! who leapfrogs over him, rolls and turns around to pose heroically. Duff turns to see it and is quite surprised. Duff charges at him again and Spykeman! catches him mid-rush and uses his mmentum to drill him into the mat with a DDT.

Jon McDaniel: People keep making the mistake of underestimating Spykeman! because of how silly a character he is, but the has routinely shown that he is a legitimately tough customer.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, but as soon as people get wise to his act, I think it's gonna be goodbye to the little green retard.

As soon as Duff is down, Spykeman! runs back to the ropes, bounces off, jumps over Duff onto the middle rope and lands on Duff with a springboard moonsau-NO! Duff gets his knees up and Spykeman! holds his chest for a moment before breakdancing back to a standing position as if nothing happened, he poses dramatically and Duff stands, looking shocked.

Duff quickly locks Spykeman! in a side headlock and starts to try taking off Spykeman!'s mask!

Jon McDaniel: Oh no! He might reveal Spykeman!'s secret identity.

Brian Rentfro: PLEASE tell me you're joking...

Spykeman! hulks out and elbows Duff in the chest a few times before Duff pushes Spykeman! away and into the ropes. Duff looks to take him out with a clothesline but Spykeman! matrixes under his elbow and rights himself before running over to the turnbuckle, springing onto the top rope, and making the symbol of the 'Nike swish' with his hand before doing an INSANE shooting star dropkick, and sending Duff to the mat!

Brian Rentfro: Funny, that looked kind of like Spyke Geins old 'Nike-A-Go-Go' finisher.

Jon McDaniel: Oh, you're no fun.

Spykeman! stands and feeds off of the energy of the Spykeamaniacs in the audience as he waits for Duff to stand and turn. Duff does and gets nailed with a vicious SHANG CHI KICK and is out like a light! Spykeman! puts his foot on Duff and poses heroically.



Eric Emerson: Here is your winner, the PWA Intercontinental Champion..... SPYKEMAN!

'ISHC theme' begins to play and Spykeman! rushes out into the audience with his Intercontinental title and high fives everyone within reach before making his way to the back through the audience.

Riona Langly vs. The Phoenix

Super Singles Match

Thing of Beauty by Hothouse Flowers begins to play just as the arena lights go out and the ADC tron lights up with a picture of a flaming bird. The bird explodes in a ball of fire and white and green pyros flare from the ring posts. The Phoenix and the Smoking Leprechaun walk out to the entrance ramp and head to the ring.

Jon McDaniel: A PWA legend squares off against our current PWA Undisputed World Champion, Riona Langly, who herself is definitely a future Hall of Famer in the making.

Brian Rentfro: I guess for once you're right, Jon.

### Today... my name... is pain... ###

The lights dim as a haunting melody begins to play over the PA system. As the chimes play out, flashes on the otherwise blackened ADCTron show a slideshow of violence during war throughout the ages... A guitar kicks in, adding to the melody as the speed of the images picks up, more sights being added as well as almost subliminal messages of PAIN, VIOLENCE, HELL, WAR... The guitar stops it's long riff and kicks in with the drums as the lights start to pulse red, the with more violence screaming across the ADCTron... Photos of Riona Langly mix into the slideshow, showing matches against Jamie Flynn, The Phoenix, Hunter Sullivan, SNS, Corey Lazarus, and Viktor Stone...

### Tonight... Tonight... ###
### Tonight... ###

A very low, angry growl as the lights flicker wildly, while remaining deeply red....

### GO! ###

"The New Ministry" from Walls of Jericho is in full force as a familiar spotlight lights up right behind the entrance way. Stepping out in front of it is of course, Riona Langly, her head hanging down as she soaks in the ambiance before a match.

### Tonight... is... ours... ###
### Give me your passion ###
### Tonight... is... ours... ###
### Give me your heart ###

Riona lifts her head up and scream, snapping off her crux pose as criss-crossing red pyro fires off in front of her. The pyrotechnics shoot off 5 times before coming to an end, the lights in the arena returning to normal as Riona begins her walk down to the ring.
Eric Emerson: Introducing... she comes to us from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! She weighed in this morning at 142 pounds, and stands at five foot nine inches. She is the leader of the Apostles of Ares...

### Tonight... is... ours... ###
### Now and forever ###
### Tonight... is... ours... ###

Riona stops at the end of the entrance ramp, rolling her fists as she stares inside the ring.

### Live out your dream ###
### With everything you have inside you ###
### This world can't hold us back forever! ###
### forever... FOREVER...###
### FORVER... FOREVER... ###

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is.... RIOOONNNNAAAA LANNGGGLLLLYYYY!!!

Riona dead leaps herself onto the ring apron and slings herself over the top rope and into the ring, stomping over to the nearest corner as soon as she lands.

### We Bleed Tonight... is... ours... ###
### Give me your passion ###
### Tonight... is... ours... ###
### Give me your heart ###

Riona climbs onto the top turnbuckle and snaps off another crux pose as red pyro flares out of the other 3 turnbuckles violently, scaring the ref in the process.

### Tonight is ours ###
### Now and forever ###
### Tonight is ours ###

Riona climbs down from the turnbuckle and starts some light stretches, her mind preparing for the match ahead of her.


Riona rushes in immediately with a roaring elbow which takes Phoenix by surprise. He stumbles back into the corner turnbuckle and Riona springboards herself off of the middle ropes and lands with a stunning knife edge chop to Phoenix's chest. Phoenix retaliates by throwing her to the canvas and hopping up to the top rope, planting his ass on the top turnbuckle before jumping off with an asai moonsault and catching Riona strong. Riona rolls away and gets to her feet now as Phoenix bounces off the ropes and baseball slides her legs out from beneath her. He rolls over and puts himself over her back and attempts to lock in a dragonhold sleeper but Riona wildly throws elbows behind her to push Phoenix off of her.

Jon McDaniel: Fast paced action to start things off!

Brian Rentfro: She's screwed. She's stuck facing a supreme legend of the PWA! The Phoenix F-T-W!

Jon McDaniel: F...T...W?

Brian Rentfro: It means FOR THE WIN! Yeah!

Riona is up and Phoenix charges her! But instead of using a mastercard to pay, Riona counters with a reverse facelock backbreaker crunching Phoenix to the canvas with pizaaz! Phoenix rolls away and gets to his feet angirly. He rushes Riona and goes for a clothesline which she ducks. She spins around to hit a roundhouse kick to the back of Phoenix's head but he ducks forward and throws a kick back which catches Riona in the chin dead on. She spits blood and it looks obvious she just bit her tongue down hard from the sudden snap reverse superkick hit by Phoenix.

Brian Rentfro: Ouch. Bird got'cha tongue??! HAHA!

Jon McDaniel: Your jokes are never funny, Brian.

Phoenix maintains his advantadge now, he heads to the top rope and jumps off with a sizzling leg drop over Riona's throat. She grabs her neck and pulls herself to her feet seemingly unfazed. Phoenix goes towards her but she throws a stiff left, then a right, then a left. Phoenix takes a step back with each hit before throwing up a cross block and kicking Riona's knee in. The Champion stumbles back and winces as Phoenix goes for another clothesline. He dekes, fakes! Pump handle slam BANG on Riona Langly takes them both to the canvas. What Phoenix wasn't anticipating is how Riona now bangs her head against his, headbutting him several times. Phoenix rolls away grimacing as he holds his head. Riona's back up and grabs Phoenix by the neck. Spike DDT! He's laid out flat in the ring and Riona goes for the cover, only for Phoenix to push her off of him.

Phoenix gets to his feet and goes up top quickly, kicking in Riona's face as he does so. She remains on the canvas hurt and Phoenix comes flying off with the big elbow! THE ASHES- oh wait! Riona moves out of the way and gets to her feet lightning quick. Phoenix gets up holding his elbow and bang! Riona moves behind him and scores with the Detonator.

Jon McDaniel: She got him, it’s over! She’s done it.

Riona leaps into a cover.




Jon McDaniel: She got him!

Brian Rentfro: No! Foot on the ropes!

Riona puts up her hand but the referee waves it off. She looks utterly disgusted but she gets back to her feet and tries to pull the Phoenix with her, but he doesn’t seem to into and throws her off. She attacks him again with a series of kicks and then pulls him up into a standing DDT position, but he sends her away again. Riona bounces back into the ropes and gets nailed in the back with a chair from outside. Starr rushes the ring and continues the attack while the referee runs for the bell.

Brian Rentfro: It’s Lucious Starr!

Jon McDaniel: And I guess he’s not waiting for his title shot anymore.

Starr wails on Riona with a chair while the referee tries to fight him off, eventually to be joined by more. Starr won’t be stopped though and goes off on her again and again. Meanwhile the Phoenix looks fairly bitter, but doesn’t appear to care enough to do anything, and instead leaves the ring. We cut away on a shot of Starr blasting the champion time and time again.

Emily Corlen vs Xan Vaxman vs. Marco Dante

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Threeway

Eric Emerson: This next match is scheduled for one fall and is a triple threat match! Introducing first…

The lights in the arena cut to black and the opening chords of "Make Some Noise" by Krystal Meyers hits the P.A. as the stage explodes with pyro and green strobe lights fill the arena. As the crowd boos, "The Emerald Phoenix" Emily Corlen slowly rises up through the stage, her arms outstretched akin to wings. The case hangs from one of them.

Eric Emerson: She hails from Rockford, Illinois...

The flames on the stage subside and the strobe lights slow down as Emily begins making her way down the ramp. By the time she reaches ringside, the strobe lights have completely stopped and green spotlights have begun swirling around the crowd and ring.

Eric Emerson: Representing Bound by Blood...

After making her way around the ring once, Emily hoists herself onto the apron and enters the ring through the first and second ropes.

Eric Emerson: She is the Emerald Phoenix… she is EMILY… CORRRRRRLENNNNN!!!

Emily makes her way to all four corners of the ring, climbing up each and stretching her arms out like wings. After the fourth corner, she removes her cape and hands it to the referee. As the lights return to normal and the music fades, Emily slowly paces around the canvas, glancing out to the crowd and smirking. She hands the case through the ropes to a stagehand.

Eric Emerson: Introducing next…

The lights in the arena dim as the sounds of gunshots and distant explosions echo through the PA system as CNN footage of the night vision cameras footage "Shock and Awe" campaign over Baghdad, Iraq play on the big screen, there's a sudden big flash as something explodes along with a blast of white pyrotechnics from the stage as the screen goes blank for a moment. The Guitar and drum beat starts as "Super Charger Heaven" by White Zombie starts to blare through the PA.

Jesus lived his life in a cheap hotel
On the edge of Route 66 yeah He lived a dark and
Twisted life and he came right back just to do it
Again - Eye for and eye and a tooth for the truth -
I ain't never seen a demon warp deal'n a
Ring-a-ding rhythm or jukebox racket my
Mind can't clutch the feeling - yeah!


Eric Emerson: "Now Coming to the Ring! standing at a height of 6 feet 2 inches, weighing in at 245 lbs, Hailing from Trenton, New Jersey! The Current PWA Grizzly Beer Champion! He is "The Jersey Devil!" Marcoooo Danttttteeeee!!"

Marco Dante steps from behind the curtain into another shower or white pyrotechnics, wearing a pair of black wrestling tight pants with a red devil logo on each thigh, black tape on his hands and wrists. The big screen behind him playing highlights from his matches as he starts to walk towards the ring.

Running in MY HEAD YEAH
Running in MY HEAD YEAH

Hell hounds lead at the cowardly kings
And carry souls across the river Styx
Yeah! They see no evil and feel no pain
Sucking juice from a fallen angel - I dreamed
I was a super nova fucker nitro-
Burning and fuel injection - Feed the gods a strychnine
Soul a motherfucker of invention

As he walks, he high fives and knuckles to fans as he passes them, his eyes focused on the ring however, on his opponent if he's the second person out, just before reach the end of the barricade, he runs and baseball slides in under the ropes, jumping to his feet and then moving over to the turnbuckles, climbing each and thrusting both fists into the air, and then let's out a bit of a roar to get the crowd pumped.

Running in MY HEAD YEAH
Running in MY HEAD YEAH

Yeah inbreed the witches
And woship the dogs
Deformed and fuck'n lazy
Damn yourself and choke
On my name I'd love to love ya baby
Deadringer rats swinging in the trees
Immaculate conception Bury me an angel God I need
Some inspiration

Marco Dante then jumps down from the turnbuckle, going to the next, repeating the steps before and so one..for each turnbuckle then a one handed chest pound just before hopping down from the last turnbuckle, he walks to the center of the ring and waves for the crowd to get louder and louder.

Running in MY HEAD YEAH
Running in MY HEAD YEAH!

He then turns to the entrance ramp if his opponent is second, or the center of the ring to await the bell.

Eric Emerson: And finally…


"The way of the Fist" began to Blair in the arena as Xan Vaxman emerged from behind the curtain. This time however he had a microphone in his hand.

Xan Vaxman: "Cut the music! Cut my goddamn music!"

The production staff was quick to his demands as his music died down.

Xan Vaxman: "Spoiler Alert!: Snape kills Dumbledore!, Soylent Green is made of people!, The Village is part of a modern nature reserve!, and I will be winning this match and continuing on to become Grizzly Beer champion in the next match, when it's actually on the line!"

The fans were booing, maybe because he was spoiling movie plot-twists, maybe because he was guaranteeing victory, or maybe because he was simply speaking.

Xan Vaxman: "But next week, I have a little surprise for you. I'm going to be debuting my brand new shiny talk show here on Chaos...and as my first guest, I'd like to have you, Marco Dante, come down and talk your big game to my face."

Xan stepped into the ring

Xan Vaxman: "and furthermore!-..."

Xan took this time to throw his microphone at the unsuspecting Emily Corlen.

Jon McDaniel: Whoa!

Emily tries to get at Vaxman but the referee gets in the way and demands she waits for the bell. Xan pushes himself into a corner while Dante stands back and rolls his eyes. Meanwhile, the Jen and the girls take up positions on the ramp.

Brian Rentfro: Heated stuff early on.

Jon McDaniel: what did you expect.

The bell rings and as two competitors move forward… Xan drops to the mat in the corner. Emily looks a touch suspicious but Dante doesn’t share her doubts and immediately runs through her with a Spear. She tries to get up but Dante seems perfectly happy to hold her down and land rights and lefts at will. Xan just watches quietly.

Brian Rentfro: So… what’s this then?

Jon McDaniel: Well, Marco Dante is turning it up on Emily after she kicked his ass and stole his title, while Xan Vaxman is doing nothing at all because he doesn’t have to and wont work unless there’s something in it for him.

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Dante finally lets Emily up into a Snap Suplex that sprawls her across the mat. Emily grunts and turns to get back into the fight but she gets caught around the waist and tossed with a Gutwrench. Xan cheers him on from his place on the mat.

Brian Rentfro: Seems like Marco is coming out swinging tonight.

Jon McDaniel: Well, considering both these people have come out one after the other and fucked him over, that seems about right.

Marco sets Emily down and turns his attention to Xan, who slowly draws his cheering to a close as Dante steps forward. He doesn’t get far though as Emily rolls him up from behind.



Jon McDaniel: And he’s out!

Dante kicks over and rolls to his knees, right into a vicious head kick from Emily that snaps him back. Dante snaps up straight while still on his knees and Emily buries him with a DDT. Emily grounds him in a Sleeper, prompting Xan to finally wake up.

Brian Rentfro: Looks like the match is ready to start then.

Xan gets up on Emily with a Side-Headlock and pulls the move to his feet. Dante forces the three of them back to the ropes, allowing Emily to use the momentum to force Xan off with an Irish-Whip. Unfortunately for her, Dante holds her in place and allows Xan to score with a hard Clothesline on the return, smashing her in the chest while Dante drags heaves her into a Backdrop. Marco gets up and is immediately set upon by Xan who catches him in a Waistlock.

Jon McDaniel: Tough luck for Marco here. He’s kinda caught in a pit of snakes at this point.

Xan tries to scoop a German Suplex but Dante grounds himself and then reaches down with a Legsweep. He then turns to try and synch in a Leglock but Xan reaches up and smashes him with a right hand. Dante goes back and Xan tackles him to mat before sitting backwards into a Leglock.

Jon McDaniel: Action all across the board!

Xan pressures the hold as Dante tries to fight out, but he finds his pain quickly brought to an end as Emily comes across and smashes Xan in the chest with a Senton. Dante gets free and rolls away while Emily leaps up and goes after him.

Brian Rentfro: Looks like everyone wants to be the one to take out the champ.

Jon McDaniel: Only way to get that shot.

Emily puts a kick to Dante but he catches it and throws her overhead and right into the arms of Vaxman. He catches her it upside down and then throws her up, but Emily manages to get an arm around Dante’s neck and then gets swung out by Vaxman, sending her and Dante spiralling through a Tornado DDT.

Brian Rentfro: Down he goes again. He’s not really having the best of luck tonight.

Emily jumps up and gets a kick to the stomach for her trouble and then pushed down into a Standing Headscissors. Xan then pulls her up for a Powerbomb but Emily takes him with an Elbow and then swoops back with a Hurricanrana into a cradle.



Jon McDaniel: No, he’s out!

Emily had him hooked tight but Dante breaks the hold with a running boot to the back of Emily’s head. The whole move gets turned over and Dante leaps onto Xan, hooking up his arms and dragging him to his feet before letting him fly with a Tiger Suplex.

Jon McDaniel: He crushes him with that Suplex.

Brian Rentfro: And holds on for the pin!



Brian Rentfro: Vaxman rolls through!

Dante sits up to a knee and sets himself perfectly for Emily, who runs right through him with a Shining Wizard, crushing his face against her knee and knocking him cold. She moves to follow up but runs right into a standing Sleeperhold. She struggles for a moment but Xan takes her out with a Sleeperhold, dragged down into a Neckbreaker. The crowd roar as she goes down just seconds after Dante. Xan drops to the mat himself and misses up a cover.

Brian Rentfro: You’re all down.

Jon McDaniel: Can’t catch a break a match like this… which is probably why we run them at all.

With everyone down Xan doesn’t waist anymore time, and quickly gathers himself up and darts from the ring toward the timekeeper. The man at the bell tries to intercept him but Xan pushes him aside and then snatches the case. The fans rise as Xan belts the timekeeper in the face with the briefcase.

Jon McDaniel: My God he’s, ah I’m not even surprised; of course he’s stealing the belt.

Brian Rentfro: It’s essentially title belt pass the parcel at this point… with everyone getting a go except Dante… who the belt technically belongs to.

Jon McDaniel: Wrestling aye.

Xan turns and leaps the barricade with the case in hand and doesn’t even notice Dante in the ring trying to follow him, probably because Emily cuts him down from behind with the Bitch Switch. She considers going after Xan but he’s already long gone and so she turns her attention back to Dante.

Jon McDaniel: So, his belt gets stolen and he gets jump by his next contender.

Brian Rentfro: The life of a good guy is never easy. Still, why is Xan going out that way?

Jon McDaniel: Probably doesn’t feel like getting his head kicked in.

Dante struggles to his feet, clutching his back the whole way. He refuses to stay down but Emily is there waiting for him, and she follows up with a kick to the stomach before hooking up his arms and planting him face first to the canvas. She buries the move and rolls him for the pin. The crowd are disgusted.




Jon McDaniel: And there’s the bell.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, Emily Corlen!!!

Emily rises to her feet and throws up her arms, but the fans don’t seem to share her enthusiasm. She then turns to Xan on the screen; who smiles and tips his case toward her before stepping out of shot. She looks from him to Dante, and then smiles herself. We cut here to a break.

A Time For War!!


Jon McDaniel: Things just haven't been the same since The Order of Chaos made this takeover bid.

Brian Rentfro: Made a bid? I'm pretty sure they've succeeded.

Suddenly the lights to the arena all go out, and the fans scream and cheer and boo in a massive mixed reaction as the ADCTron seems to be hijacked, going into complete static until "Seizure of Power" by Marilyn Manson, the official Order of Chaos theme song begins to play over the sound systems.


The ADCTron lights up with the Order of Chaos emblem as the spotlights alone turn on and sway towards the entrance ramp, where Simon Kalis steps out, swaggering with each step as he bobs his head and moves his body to the music. The mixed reactions quickly become a full on chorus of boos as the cameras follow Simon Kalis. Simon Kalis proudly sports a complete military outfit, head to toe in urban camoflauge as he raises his hands in the air. His shoulders are emblazened with five golden stars on each side, and the spotlights produce a significant glare off of his Versace sunglasses. Around his waist however...



The crowd laments that fact with boos as Kalis holds up his platinum Who's The Man?! 2010 championship belt, bringing it back by popular demand! He smirks and winks as he passes by fans at ringside, circling the ring.

Eric Emerson: He is a most honorable member of the PWA Board of Directors!

Kalis throws his Versace shades off and chucks them into the crowd for a young fan who stops booing and puts them on and smiles as he hops up onto the apron.

Eric Emerson: The General of the Order of Chaos! The infallible Supreme Commander of the PWA itself... SIMON KALIS!

He stomps his foot down and salutes the crowd who boo and jeer at him as he enters the ring. The lights turn back on as Kalis straps the belt back around his waist and chucks off the military jacket to reveal a simple, yet elegant, black wifebeater beneath it. His face is severely cut as are his arms and hands as he raises them one more time in the air. Suddenly "Boys of Summer" by Don Henley begins to play and Kalis laughs as he crosses his arms.

Eric Emerson: His opponent!

Brian Rentfro: Wait... What?

Jon McDaniel: I didn't think Kalis was having a match!

Brian Rentfro: Impromptu!

An oddly dressed man in a lizard suit stumbles out with a bottle of Vodka in his hand which he quickly polishes off before falling down the entrance ramp, smashing the bottle against his own head by accident as he does so.

Eric Emerson: He is Marcus "The Shapeshifting Iganua" Summers!

Kalis stands in the ring laughing as Summers rolls into the ring, looking like an obvious mockey of PWA Owner Mark "Chamelion" Sommers. The crowd boos as Marcus Summers rolls into the ring and remains laid out.


Kalis rushes in and begins stomping down on the head of the man in the Iganua suit and pulverises his head with his boot. Kalis lifts him up and irish whips him into the ropes and lifts a boot catching Summers right into the head. Summers bounces off the canvas and rolls around deleriously as Kalis raises his hand, ever proud of himself as he slaps the platinum WTM Title on his waist. Kalis stomps down on the scaley man's head again before looking around with sarcastic confusion as to why the crowd is booing him.

Jon McDaniel: This is disgusting, he is making a mockery out of Mark Sommers right now and I don't think the PWA Owner is going to be too happy about this.

Brian Rentfro: Are you kidding me?! This is great! Family fun entertainment right! Look at how Kalis gave the guy a big boot to the head like he's a Hayes or Strader! Incredible!

Kalis grabs a microphone from ringside and puts it to his lips and points down at the drunken and bumbling bafoon in the ring with him.

Simon Kalis: Today, we are forced to see what kind of a man runs this company. Whereas men like Lucious Starr and I strive to make the PWA even greater than it already is, you have lunatics with power like Mark Sommers trying everything he can do to stifle the progress we've made! I have vanquished my enemies alongside Matthew Engel, and now no one can stand in my way to the top! Least of all a pathetic old fucking man who fashions himself after a small and worthless lizard.

Kalis drops the microphone and picks up the Shapeshifting Iganua Summers and puts him between his legs. Kalis raises his arms and salutes the crowd before lifting Summers up and landing a vicious jacknife powerbomb on the much smaller man! Kalis throws him down like a ragdoll and poses, getting on his left knee and pointing with his right arm outward as he flexes his left bicep with a sarcastic shiny smile. He gets up and picks the microphone back up again.

Simon Kalis: Today! Ladies and gentlemen! TODAY! I signed a new contract with the PWA that expressly forbade me from carrying any guns, any knives or swords or bringing tanks etcetera to the arenas with me! It forbade me from expressiong my love of this sport with ultraviolence never seen on PWA airwaves before I injected the PWA with a serious dose of it! But it also did other things! I can't really talk about it, I'll let the man himself bring you pathetic losers up to speed on things but... For now?

Kalis drops the microphone again and whips the poor little man into the turnbuckle. He quickly climbs up with the man in tow, double underhooking his arms and holding him upside down over his back as he balances himself on the top turnbuckle. The crowd all rise to their feet in anticipation as Kalis flies off the top rope and slams Marcus Summers into the canvas hard, making him convulse as he seizures out in the middle of the ring.

Brian Rentfro: THE SENTENCING OF THE DAMNED! The GREATEST finishing move in all of sports entertainment baby!

Kalis hooks the leg and referee Dwayne Cross gets down to count.





Eric Emerson: The winner of this match.... SIMON KALIS!

Kalis jumps up to his feet and raises his own hands high as he heads to the turnbuckle and throws up the WTM title. He points over it so the camera catches it. He jumps back down and grabs the microphone.

Simon Kalis: Who's The Man?!?! I'M THE MAN!

Kalis points to himself and smirks as the crowd boos.

Simon Kalis: So here's the deal. While Chamelion tries to stifle us and our glorious plans for the PWA? I'm here to show the world how I really do have the PWA and her interests at the core of my heart and actions. So listen up... REBEL PRO! I am going to challenge ANY of you fucking losers to a match to make up for the fact Riona Langly is the WORST PWA World Champion in history! To make up for all these non-Order LOSERS in the back who can't win a match to save their own fucking careers. I am going to remind everyone why the PWA is superior! Chamelion can't interfere in the Order of Chaos' war games anymore, baby. So I say, let everyone in REBEL PRO be put on notice!

Kalis smirks as he looks towards the entrance ramp.

Simon Kalis: The FRANCHISE OF THE PWA IS DECLARING WAR ON REBEL PRO! I welcome ANY of you to crawl out from whatever rock you're in over in the Carolinas and come try and step to the Last Superstar of the PWA!

The crowd respond feverishly with cheers as Kalis raises his hand and smiles.

Simon Kalis: Come on with me, you traitors! Remember the love you had for me?! Channel it! Say it with me! PWA! PWA! PWA! PWA!

Crowd: PWA! PWA! PWA! PWA!

All of a sudden 'I'm a Rebel' starts playing.

Brian Rentfro: Oh can't be!

Larry Gordon, the owner of REBEL Pro steps out to a mixed reaction from the PWA faithful.

Larry Gordon: Simon, I don't think it's smart for you to challenge my boys. I bet a lot of them would do just about anything to get their hands on a guy like you.

Simon Kalis: Well you come back next week with ANYBODY and I'll see to it they get shipped back to Georgia in a body bag.

Larry Gordon: As a matter of fact Simon, I don't think I need to go and make such a trip. Ya see, I happen to know there's a REBEL superstar in the building right now who would love to step into the ring with you.

While Kalis is facing Larry, someone in a hoodie and facemask slides under the bottom rope and stands up behind him. It takes a few moments, but Kalis finally notices him on the ADCTron and turns around and the two start exchanging blows, Kalis throwing punches and the masked assailant throwing furious elbow strikes. The masked assailant quickly gains the upper hand and locks his arms around Kalis, nailing him with a gorgeously executed belly-to-belly suplex. While Kalis remains grounded for a bit the masked assailant unzips his hoodie and takes it off, removing his facemask to reveal a familiar face in these parts as the crowd erupts in cheers.


Brian Rentfro; Pfffft, whatever. He's nothing but REBEL Scum to me now.

Johnny reaches for a microphone just as Kalis picks his back up.

Kalis: You think that this is it? You think that I sweat garbage like you, huh faggot? i-

Johnny Maverick: Cut his mic off.

Simon Kalis tries to keep talking until he realizes his mic has, in fact, been cut off.

Johnny Maverick: Confused? Do you feel all of that power you thought you had slipping out of your hands? Well let me put things into perspective for you. While I've been away I've been putting a plan into action that is worthy of Mark Sommers himself. You see the old ring crew was tired of asshole canadians with guns so they walked from the company and they left a void. A void that Lisa Seldon filled with my Disciples, the Hoodie Ninjas. Which means as long as I have breath in me there will be no more long-winded, boring bullshit from Simon Kalis on PWA television. The God of Failure has been reborn in the PWA, and the revenge he exacts on the behalf of the people will be swift and brutal.

Simon tries to roll out of the ring but several Hoodie Ninjas block his exit, Johnny jumps on top of him and starts doing some devastating ground and pound work. He stands up and the leader of the Order of Chaos lays there in a broken heap but is still trying to move. The Hoodie Ninjas grab him and pull him over to a corner and hold him on the ground as Johnny ascends the top turnbuckle, still holding his microphone.

Johnny Maverick: Simon, there is only one thing I see in your future....and that is EPIC FAIL!

Johnny drops his microphone and does an amazing double rotation moonsault, landing hard on Kalis. He stands, holding his chest and raising his fist as all of his Hoodie Ninjas raise their fist in unison. 'Lead Into Demise' by Kingdom of Sorrow begins to play, his REBEL Pro entrance music. Johnny rolls out of the ring and nods respectfully to Larry Gordon as the two of them head to the back, leaving Simon Kalis in a broken heap. Yet just before Maverick heads through the curtains he smirks, shaking his head and heading back to the ring. Kalis tries to stand up but he's reeling hard, clutching his sides. Kalis removes his wifebeater and reveals how bandaged his lower body is as Maverick clotheslines him back to the canvas quickly.

Jon McDaniel: Maverick is destroying Simon Kalis!

Brian Rentfro: Yeah, after Kalis went through hell with Hayes, Engel and Strader in one of the most prolifically violent matches in PWA history. Johnny's a real tough guy.

Maverick picks Kalis up and whips him into the corner turnbuckle closest to the steel steps outside of the ring. The crowd ignites, knowing full well what's coming up next. Maverick holds him steadily before dropping out of the ring and crushing Kalis head against the steel steps on the outside. The crowd errupts into cheers as Kalis crumbles to the outside of the ring motionless. "Lead Into Demise" restarts as Maverick raises his hands high.


Brian Rentfro: A god damn REBEL PRO SCUM just seriously hurt one of OUR own guys and you're way too excited about that. This is illegal right now, Jon. God damn illegal, and someone is going to pay for this!

Maverick storms up and leaves with a satisfied grin on his face as the crowd looks on at Simon Kalis. The slashes which were stitched up over his face have all burst open and he crawls his way back into the ring and rolls in painfully. Kalis grabs the microphone and uses the ropes to pick himself up.

Simon Kalis: Hah... Flawless Victory Johnny.... Flawless Victory.

Kalis looks around as people in the crowd point and laugh. He coughs severely, blood spewing out of his mouth as if he were vomitting it. He drops the microphone and stumbles around in the ring. In one last moment of defiance he stomps his right foot down and salutes the crowd, Order of Chaos style as he spits blood on fans in front row. He collapses to his knees and smiles, before his eyes roll into the back of his head and he crumbles to the canvas in a bloody mess.

Brian Rentfro: ...Simon?

Jon McDaniel: He uhm, he isn't getting up. He isn't getting up.

EMT's rush from the entrance ramp and pull Kalis' lifeless body out of the ring, sliding him carefully onto a stretcher. They lock him down with an emergency neck brace and begin wheeling him off. He opens his eyes one more time and grunts, throwing up a defiant middle finger to the camera as "Seizure of Power" plays again. Emerson stands in the ring holding a piece of paper, his face a ghostly pale white.

Eric Emerson: Ladies and gentlemen... All hail our new Pioneer Wrestling Association Monday Night CHAOS General Manager...

Emerson looks up and nods as he crumples the piece of paper and drops it into a puddle of Simon's blood.

Eric Emerson: Simon Kalis.

The crowd errupts in boos and jeers, some of the fans standing up with their jaws wide open in shock as Kalis smiles for the camera one more time as he's lead away in the stretcher.

Jon McDaniel: ....What? Oh my god.

Brian Rentfro: Ladies and gentlemen, this has been a presentation of PWA Monday Night Chaos! Hahahaha! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

Voice: HOLD IT.
Everyone stops, almost frozen, as Chamelion stomps onto the stage.
Chamelion: I don’t know who got it in their thick head to make up such claims, but Kalis, while you’re laying there soaking in your own blood, I got some news for you.
Kalis groans, eyes swollen but his smile definitely has faded.
Chamelion: First, that little stunt you pulled didn’t amuse me, but then again, I suppose that wasn’t your goal, so whatever… but to think that you’re going to be the General Manager of Chaos is probably the result of one too many shots to the head… which reminds me to thank Maverick back stage.
Chamelion: None the less, your claim to being General Manager has a few quid-pro-quos you forgot to check on… probably your excitement getting the better of you. See, the reason Lucious is fighting for the world title next week, and not at Manitoba Mayhem.. is because he’s busy at Manitoba Mayhem… as is you. The B.O.D. has informed me that this power struggle has to end, and end it shall, in a way that brings rating and money to the PWA… in a match.
The arena roars again.
Chamelion: So, at Manitoba Mayhem… it’s going to be you, Simon Kalis, teaming with Lucious Starr, and you will be fighting for the future of the PWA… the winning team.. gets FULL CONTROL of Pioneer Wrestling Association. Yeah, all of it. But before that match happens, I’m simply going to make it unfair for you… because you made this bold challenge to Rebel Pro, you have to keep your word, contractually, and you will face Johnny Maverick one on one with Rebel Pro rules.. which, if I recall, means there are none.

Chamelion: As for your opponents for the main event at Manitoba Mayhem… well, one of them is obviously me.. I mean, I gotta defend my company straight up as a man here.. and not the drunken kind… and my partner….


Chamelion: No, it’s not Raizzor… that would be rather obvious, wouldn’t it? No, in point of fact, it’s someone who has a bit more invested into the PWA….someone you all know….ladies and gentlemen, it’s this man!

The screen flashes to life to the audience like a computer monitor does for a user. Images flash onto the screen accompanied by the song ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper.’ The images are of wrestlers that a lot of the new fans may not recognize but the older fans and wrestlers know all to well. It starts with a smiling face of Willy Moran followed by Tyke. The big lurking Solomoran Grundy is next. Grifter and Samantha Moran looking very happy together. A tri-shot of the Prisoner, the Masked Lumberjack and Salai. A long picture of ‘Al’ and finally a shot of Sirus Moran complete with the ‘L7’ on his forehead.

Then computer static.

“Who the hell DID you think he was talking about?”

A shot of Randall Moran blinks to life. He is dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt and relaxing on his leather couch.

“You know what? Don’t bother. Don’t even bother. Oh, and it’s been a while …. So this is for all of you in the cheap seats.”

Randall flexes his arms and winks.

“You have to look out for those who look out for you.

I’m guessing no one really missed me but I never really did care much for the popular opinion. I head the gang needed someone to step into the ring so I thought ‘Hey! Sure, I may be a little stiff, but after a few hours with Judy that should take care of THAT. SO afterwards, I did a few crunches. Threw a few punches at the old bag. Did a lap or two around the neighborhood and thought, sure .. I can do this. Uncle Mack and the big lizard tried to talk to me about some usurping little shits and how they thought this and that and percentages and crap I really don’t care about. Uncle Mack … you should have known better. Point me in the direction you want and pull the trigger. I’ll take care of the rest ok? Drop by a flyer or send me an e-mail about who ever it is I’m supposed to be fighting and we’re good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Judy and I are going to use the internet and our web-cam the way nature intended.”

Judy walks into the web shot and smiles into the web-cam. She is wearing a white cotton robe and possibly nothing else. She turns her back to us and Randall undoes the tie around her waist and the robe slowly slips off her shoulders and slides down her back revealing a bare top and ---

The screen cuts out as if someone pulled the plug.

© PWA 2010

So Long, Fair Well

... la la la la la la

We jump back in following the copyright logo and jump back into the set of the Oval Office from the West Wing. We said they’d never get rid of her and we were right, because here is Lisa again, looking just as pleasant and shiny as you’d expect. She flashes us a grin as she rocks from side to side on the chair.

Lisa Seldon: Good evening my fellow Americans and all you other cunts, which I can say on TV because it’s my last day. That’s right people, as you know I won’t be around from next week, but I didn’t feel it was right to just leave without saying a word.

She sighs and looks off to the air, soaking in the memories.

Lisa Seldon: Seems like only yesterday when I jumped back into the PWA, setup some British guy attacking the little Sommers kid and telling my buddy Simon to go fuck himself. It was a good week all around and I think we only went from strength to strength.

She throws up a fist, what with the strength and all.

Lisa Seldon: We ran The Spirt of ’76 which featured many great moments like me saving Simon from having his head turn into road pizza by bikers, Johnny Maverick going off the dead end, Riona Langly getting her head caved in but still walking away with the title, several people falling off a truck and me, Simon and SNS saying fuck about 40 something times between us.

She enjoys saying fuck for what it’s worth.

Lisa Seldon: Then there was Sizzler, and that came together well… even if we got usurped by a basketball game. Like anyone wants to watching basketball when you could see dudes smashing each other with steel pipes. In the face no less!

She rolls her eyes and tuts rather loudly.

Lisa Seldon: Still, we got there in the end, we had more biker related shit, a fight in a prison… eh… there was a tank and titles and things. Matt Stone got elbowed in the mouth, lots of good shit really.

She nods happily, and then suddenly snaps her hands together.

Lisa Seldon: but we can’t forget the little bits in between. The night Riona Langly fought in some soup and got beaten by a stripper, Luscious Starr getting fucked over at every opportunity, me and Scott beating up his retard friend, Simon shooting at people, Xan destroying a particularly valuable title belt, Bubba J being on fire, Emily Corlen standing there while I pretended to know who she was, Jon McDaniel for being a closet racist and Spykeman getting the entire backstage crew fired and replaced with ninjas – ninjas who don’t have a very strong union might I add. These are the things I will remember.

She sighs again, taking a little moment to herself.

Lisa Seldon: I want to thank the players who helped make this time for me memorable… mostly by mauling each, being puppets in all my little games and generally going mad and turning into superheroes.

A thumbs up for all of you.

Lisa Seldon: So thanks to all of you guys for giving me something to do in between ignoring bits of paper saying things like: important, highly flammable and make sure Maverick takes these or else he’ll go mental and mess the fuck out of the first person who makes a comment about his sexuality.

She snaps her fingers above her head.

Lisa Seldon: Oh, and also, anyone who has anything bad to say about me should know that I will be back in a matter of months and you will die.

She smiles and waves to the camera.

Lisa Seldon: Toodles!