Champions
World Heavyweight Title: The Phoenix
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Maverick
Champions


10-28-2009


That's MISTER BOXER to You


As we come to a new installment of the great Wednesday Night Chaos, we fade into the arena entrance where a black BMW z4 pulls up and outsteps Simon Kalis, without Masakazu but with his personal bodyguard The Desert Eagle, this evening with his PWA Tag title strapped around his waist. Obviously, judging from the disgruntled look of his face he sees the security guards waiting for him.

The Desert Eagle: Shall I terminate hostilities, sir?

Kalis laughs to himself as they approach the security barrier.

Simon Kalis: Nah, I don't feel like another lawsuit.

Kalis approaches and walks through the metal detector, before being patted down for any weapons.

Security Guard: No guns, right?

Simon Kalis: Not if you don't count my penis, asshole.

The security guard doesn't seem amused as he reaches into his backpocket for an envelope.

Security Guard: You'll find your fine in here, Mr. Kalis.

Simon Kalis: My fine?

Security Guard: Mr. BoXeR, on behalf of the Pioneer Wrestling Association and the Chaos Brand, TM, have filed this bill for you to be paid before the end of the month.

Kalis' eyebrow raises as he rips open the envelope and gasps.

Simon Kalis: $25,000!? I owe the PWA twenty five *BEEP*ing thousand dollars?! What the *BEEP* IS THIS!? They start taxing you for being great now?

Security Guard: No sir. As stated in article seventy five, subsection b of your PWA Chaos contract, you must always refer to Mr. BoXeR as Mr. BoXeR. Calling him Joe, or BoXeR, or any other name other than Mr. BoXeR shall incur a $1000 fine for each infraction each time. For example-

Kalis interrupts the bastard security guard.

Simon Kalis: What... The... *BEEP*!?

Security Guard: As they say, read things before you sign them? No?

The security guard laughs as Kalis slips the fine into his pocket.

Simon Kalis: Yeah? You ever heard of think before you talk?

Kalis motions his head toward the guard and Desert Eagle jumps into action, throwing one solid straight hook into the guards jaw. The guard drops like a bag of potatoes, his teeth breaking off mid-air and blood spitting out towards Eagle's beautifully shiny metal armor.

The Desert Eagle: Hostiles engaged.

Kalis kicks the guard while he's down, spitting on him and then turning his attention to the other guards who all take a step back and shake their heads. All of the men not so much concerned with Kalis, as they are his 6'7 metal bodyguard.

Simon Kalis: Maybe you should've remembered who's number one on the do not *beep* with list. Stupid *beep*.

Kalis sighs as he notices the camera.

Simon Kalis: *Beep*ing censors can suck my *beep*. *BEEP*!

He moves forward now as Desert Eagle's glowing eyes stare down the scared security guards. Yet before Kalis enters the building, he turns around.

Simon Kalis: Don't worry, I'll cover your medical bills. It was worth it.

Kalis reaches into his backpocket and pulls out a money clip, perhaps four inches thick all filled with Benjamin Franklin and his twins. Kalis chucks the money clip at the guard.

Simon Kalis: Accepting that means you cannot sue me. Deal?

The guard who was knocked out looks up, grabs the clip and nods before his head falls back to the ground.

Simon Kalis: Let's go, Eagle.

The Desert Eagle: As you command, sir!

Eagle salutes Kalis as the two men enter the building.

Simon Kalis: You know, you don't have to pretend to be all robotic kid. I know there's flesh beneath the metal armor, soldier.

The Desert Eagle: Sir, I enjoy the fantasy aspect of this metal armor, sir.

Simon Kalis: Cool, fine by me.

The Desert Eagle: Threat level green, sir.

Simon Kalis: You say that when you're about to bang a stripper?

The Desert Eagle: No sir. The threat level would be red, sir.

Kalis laughs and pats Eagle on the back as they disappear.

Tear Gutter: Welcome to Chaos!

Jester Jay: Gutter, we are only a few days past Bad Blood and it was an amazing event. We saw Ryan Ross defeat Bubba J in one of the most hardcore matches in recent memory.

Tear Gutter: Matt Stone reclaimed his Grizzly Beer Title, and Matthew Engel would defeat Jethro Hayes to become a three time World Champion. That match was one for the ages, and it was almost as violent as the Ross-Bubba match.

Jester Jay: Then The Phoenix beat Hunter Sullivan for the Global Title to become the only two time Global Champion.

Tear Gutter: Well that's easy considering the Global Title has only had two champions.

Jester Jay: Shhhh!

LJ Xero vs Raw Mike


Tamara Christopher-Onassi: The following match is schedueled for one fall. Introducing first, he stands in at 6'7 and weighs 265 pounds. From The BETTER Hollywood.... The Anti Hero, LJ XERO!

Never Enough plays and LJ Xero leaves backstage and comes out with an unhappy white clown mask worn during plays during the pre-1900s and a black leather coat looking down to the floor throughout his entrance walk to the ring, he rolls into the ring and camps down into the corner like Raven usually did. The arena lights are nothing but strobe lights flicking on and off... During his walk to the ring, the screen changes to his titantron which has "The Harvester of Sorrow" flashing, which changes to people being executed via the guillotine, images of torture devices used during the Spanish Inquistion, the Holocaust, images of Nagasaki and Hiroshima after the A-Bomb was dropped... Then "The Anti-Hero" flashes and its greeted with images of Stalin speaking, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Pol Pot and finally, Barack Obama... It returns to LJ Xero entering the ring to crash into the corner ala Raven.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: And his opponent, he stands in at 6'9 and weighs in at 330 pounds... Hailing from the Queens Borough in New York, New York... He is... Raw Mike!!!!!!!

Ruff Ryder’s Anthem hit’s the PA system and red and blue lights begin to flash alternatively on either side of the arena, emulating the effects of police lights. Mike walks out from behind the curtain in saggy jeans and hazard yellow lugz. He is shirtless, and the flashing lights reflect off his bald ebony skull. Upon hitting the entrance ramp, he is immediately met by a fit of jeers from the crowd.

With a furrowed brow and a shake of his head, Mike scoffs at the fans, and even goes as far as to falsely swing a backhand at one of the booing kids, sending the child jumping back to hide behind their parents. There is an achieved smile after this as the giant of a man continues on toward the ring.


When he reaches the apron, Mike places a knee on it, using the top rope to pull himself up, and then steps over the top rope. He cracks his knuckles once in the ring, preparing his fists to give a beating to his opponent. Xero looks at him from across the ring unamused as the two men stand at opposite ends, referee Joe Irving stands inbetween them ruffled by the two giant men.

DING DING DING

Tear Gutter: Here we go!

Jester Jay: Two giants, one will fall! Yes!

Raw and Xero begin to circle the ring, trying to size up the other man. They both lunge towards each other in an attempt to grapple one another, but back off at the last second. Finally they approach each other head on, and Raw Mike uses his slight size advantadge to his advantadge by sending Xero to the mat with a thunderous clothesline, literally flipping the big man as he summersaults to the canvas. Xero is quick to get up though, and he rushes Raw Mike spearing him into the corner. Xero starts pummeling Mike with lefts and rights, snapping Raw Mike's head to the left, then to the right, then to the left, then to the right once more! Raw Mike headbutts Xero however, sending him reeling back holding his forehead. Raw Mike then charges and grabs Xero by the waist, lifting him up, then spinning him around and slamming him down to the canvas hard with a thunderous body slam.

Tear Gutter: Whoa! The ring SHOOK from that bodyslam!

Jester Jay: Imagine being in a prison cell with these two? Holy shi-

Tear Gutter: Lovely imagery there, Jay.

Jester Jay: Why thank you, I do ever so try!

Raw Mike gets up and brushes himself off, as does Xero. Raw Mike turns around again and attempts some sort of rush however Xero ducks and bounces off the ropes, coming back to Raw Mike with a heavy big boot to the face. Raw Mike snaps back, hitting the canvas hard and LJ Xero starts to curbside stomp the ribs of Raw Mike, using the ropes as his leverage. Referee Irving tries to break it up but Xero simply sends the young, impressionable official a cold stare and he backs up. However during this lapse in time Raw Mike lifts his leg all the way back so his knee is touching his chest and then snaps a violent kick forward into Xero's kneecap. Xero collapses to one knee wincing in pain as Raw Mike gets to his feet, nodding his head with intensity as he grabs Xero by the neck. He brings Xero up to his feet and attempts to chokeslam him, however he's having difficulty lifting him off the ground. Raw Mike tries again, but he fails and this time Xero gives him a stiff kick to the gut and whips him into the ropes. As Raw Mike comes running back, Xero does a slight jump and wraps his arm around Raw Mike's neck, slamming him down hard with a DDT. The fans go nuts!

Tear Gutter: WHAT A DDT! DID YOU SEE THAT FOLKS! THUNDEROUS!!!!!!!

Jester Jay: Jesus Christ! I guess white men CAN jump, eh Raw Mike!?

Xero gets to his feet, shaking off his head as he bounces himself off the ropes and comes down with a leg drop, but as he comes down Raw Mike rolls out of the way now and gets to his feet, screaming to the crowd with an intense anger in his eyes. Xero is himself quick to get up now and both men go for the grapple, locking horns. Raw Mike goes for a snap suplex but can't Xero up and over as Xero struggles back. Xero attempts to reverse it but Raw Mike snaps himself down and uses all the force to counter him this time, taking Xero all the way up. Raw Mike holds Xero in the air for a few moments as the cameras flash all across the arena, before dropping him back right into the turnbuckle, slamming Xero upside down on his spine and and neck against the turnbuckles. Raw Mike now ties up Xero's legs into the top turnbuckle and starts curbside stomping him on his neck and chin to the boos and jeers from the crowd. Raw Mike now runs towards the opposite side of the ring and then rushes back, leaping into a killer spear right into Xero! Raw Mike hits the canvas as does Xero, and Mike rolls away from him for a moment to catch his breath. Xero rolls out of the ring and gets to his feet, shaking his head as he places his hands on his hips and catches his breath.

Tear Gutter: That was just an incredibly brutal move by Raw Mike, incredible Jay!

Jester Jay: Excuse me? I wasn't paying attention. There's this real hottie in the third row, I don't know if you can see her face but you'll definitely notice her wompa wompas if you look at chest level.

Tear Gutter: Wompa wompa's?

Jester Jay: Hey! Look! Xero is going back into the ring!

Xero rolls back into the ring and Raw Mike rushes him again, but Xero falls to his knees quickly and then gets right back up as Raw Mike attempts to tackle him, and thus Xero sends Raw Mike over the top rope and to the mat on the outside. As Raw Mike gets up on the outside, Xero runs to the opposite ends and uses the ropes, bouncing off them and charging towards where Raw Mike is. Xero LEAPS over the top rope and hits an incredibly body splash across Raw Mike on the outside, the fans going nuts at the aerial acrobatics displayed in that move. Xero crushes Raw Mike with his weight at the same time and starts slapping and chopping away at Raw Mikes chest on the outside. Joe Irving begins the ten count!

1!!!!

Xero slams Raw Mike's head into the announcers table!

2!!!!

Raw Mike counters and gets behind Xero before applying a cobra clutch!

3!!!!!

Raw Mike then lifts Xero up and slams him down whilst still in the cobra clutch!

4!!!!!

Raw Mike slides into the ring.

5!!!!!

LJ Xero is slow to get up!

6!!!!!!!!

Xero is up!

7!!!!!

He's back in the ring! Raw Mike attempts to clothesline Xero, but Xero ducks and suddenly unleashes The Climax on Raw Mike! The fans jump to their feet as Xero is quick to hook the leg!

1!!!!

2!!!!

3!!!!

DING DING DING

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: The winner of this match, by pinfall... The Anti Hero... LJ XERO!!!!!

"Never Enough" hits and Xero rolls out of the ring and raises his hands as he looks back at the stunned Raw Mike.

Tear Gutter: Whoa! It was like a flash!

Jester Jay: Raw Mike is livid! He has no idea what just hit him!

King Me!


Freedom Fighters blares over the load speaker as a bandaged and bruised Ryan Ross steps out from behind the large curtain on to the stage, Raw Mike and Rj Banks following closely as Ryan staggers to the ramp. Mark Zout, Litimus, and Gary Maverick, behind them, Mark wore his usual garb and wore a bright Burger King helm. Ryan doesn’t pause to talk to fans, in a positively or negatively way, just limped to the apron and rolled in, his team followed him all in there own fashion. Freedom Fighter fades out as Ryan picks up a microphone that was placed neatly on the apron closest to the announcer’s booth.

Ryan: “Last Sunday I fought one of the most insane, hardcore, brawlers, in one of the most brutal, death defying, bloody matches in my life. But to no surprise to my peers, or you fans, The Prince has regained his crown and stepped back into the light by beating his foe the great Bubba J. So tonight we celebrate. Celebrate a Rising of a Prince from the ashes of a lost soul. Tonight we celebrate…ME!”

Ryan Smirks as the fans take a deep breath and boo loudly but only for a moment as a short highlight film rolls on the ADCTron, of Ryan and Bubba’s epic battle. Some key things were missing such as the attack by The Royal Court. The fans cheered loudly after it rolled and even as Ryan began to speak.

Ryan: “Now that I’m done proving to everyone here in PWA that Ryan Ross has what it takes to win, to beat the best, now that I’ve shown my muster I can move on, move on to much bigger things. I saw Simon Kalis come down to this ring earlier today and try and PUNK The Royal Court. Maybe, Ryan Ross’s next move is, with the assistants of the greatest wrestler in PWA Mark Zout, is to take those PWA Tag Team Titles and making us the three time tag team champions, bringing us that much closer to the legendary reign of the Brothers Grimm. Or maybe I can move forward and finally get my shot at the Grizzly Beer championship that Matt Stone so loftily stole from me just a few months ago. Or perhaps, if one of my heroes allows me to, perhaps I’ll challenge a living legend in the Phoenix, for his GWA Title, some thing that would mean more to me then –“

Ryan stops his speech as Reise, Reise by Rammstein blares over the P.A. system the fans give a mixed cheer boo as Simon Kalis Interrupts the celebration at hand.

Tear Gutter: The sexiest superstar since Scott Nash Strader himself!

Jester Jay: It's time for an ass whoop and a cigarette! Hardy har har!

Kalis rushes out from backstage now, with The Desert Eagle by his side decked out in an illustriously customized Armani suit. It is unorthodox in that the sleeves have silver skull and bones in honor of The Order of Chaos, and his suit jacket has "Pantheon" over the shoulder with his PWA Tag title snugly around his waist.

Jester Jay: We know you want Simon, Tear. Just admit it.

Tear Gutter: I won't ever admit it.

Jester Jay: I think saying you won't admit it, is technically admitting it.

Tear Gutter: Ugh shut up! Shut up!

Simon Kalis: Bonjour mes ami!

The crowd boos loudly, probably because they don't understand.

Simon Kalis: You *BEEP*ing ingrates! For all the love you gave to me, how quickly you've turned on me! Why? Because I'm a member of the Pantheon?

The crowd acknowledges this fact with another chorus of boos.

Simon Kalis: Please. It was only right after all. As an elite tier superstar, I belong amongst the best the PWA has. Matthew *beep*ing Engel! Chamelion! Raizzor!! Hunter Sullivan! Orion! Masa-ka-*beep*ing-zu! And yours truly, The Original First Class Felon...

The crowd chants "TRAITOR! TRAITOR! TRAITOR!" in response as Ryan Ross and the rest of the Royal Court looks on in bewilderment at this most ungrateful interruption.

Simon Kalis: Who did I betray? You? I never turned my back on you folks. I did, do, and always shall love the fans of Chaos!

The crowd somewhat cheers, but there are still mostly boos.

Simon Kalis: I will STILL fight this war against Rampage! I promise you! The General is not dead, oh no! Not by a longshot! I will still win us this war, my friends! You saw it! You all saw it on Bad Blood, how Masakazu and I are put down the crazy bitches of Rampage! Finally putting them down and out, although I sincerely doubt Riona will ever stop hanging off my balls simply because she is attracted to me, which I can't blame her for in the slightest.

The crowd again has a mixed reaction, some booing, some cheering and even others laughing.

Simon Kalis: Yes, yes. Of course to win in Rampage, it simply means we have control of Rampage. I think, all things considered with my good friend Matthew Engel's excellent victory this past Sunday the forecast is clear. Pantheon reigns supreme over Rampage once more!

Now the crowd fully boos him, as Kalis laughs in the center of the ring. Desert Eagle stands guard, his arms crossed and his glowing blue eyes scanning the crowd.

Simon Kalis: The thing is, here on Chaos... I must focus my attention on a group of misfits, ragtags and lowlifes who seem to think of themselves as something like royalty. God damn losers like Mark Zout in burger king hats, not real crowns. I mean just look at these pricks in the ring right now. People herald the Pantheon as cheapskates, yet it took most of these assholes to beat one damn inbred redneck. And now Ross is out here celebrating like he just beat Engel for the World title? What a god damn joke.

Ross interrupts quickly; it’s his celebration for heavens sake.

Ryan: “Kalis if you have already forgotten that Bubba J had gone the distance with the one PWA Champion you hold so highly regard Matthew Engel, and not only did I beat Bubba but I beat him in is own match. Anyways who do you think you are?

Kalis smirks, Ignoring Ross as he continues.

Simon Kalis: Am I wrong?

Kalis continues to wave and smile as the disposition of the fans changes, many cheering him now as The Royal Court does not look pleased.

Simon Kalis: I have always said I run Chaos. I am the ONLY pure Chaos roster member alongside my son Masakazu, save a few chumps who aren't even worth being mentioned. And so here it is, I, the only true King of Chaos! For the very nature of the Order is chaos... And the very nature of the Chaos is order. For I am the legend, I am the glorious, his most high! I am a God to the legions of this roster, and they shall all bow before me and pledge allegiance to me.

Kalis leans forward now, his face wrinkling in anger.

Simon Kalis: Or perish in the flames of the Desert Eagle.

The Desert Eagle stands at attention, stomping his foot and saluting Kalis once more. However it is not a normal salute, but a fascist one.

Simon Kalis: I warned you that this is my land, and that this is a military dictatorship with the Pantheon at the helm. But it's obvious I make a better king than even this asshole Zout. So come to me Royal Court. This band of losers bigger than even the Apostles or Resistance combined. For at least the Apostles and the Resistance are of Rampage, but you... You, Zout, and your band of hillbillies in Walmart apparel are daring to challenge the glorious Pantheon on this show which has been ours from the start. For as a proxy, Masakazu and I claimed our thrones over this show. Not by such elegant and elaborate ceremonies such as this. Not by claiming we were great, not by claiming we were the best... No, not even by wearing a *beep*ing hat as is in your case, Zout. No. We laid our claim by bloodshed and violence, and by proving ourselves to be the most feared team the PWA has ever come to know. Not by words, Zout. Oh no.

Kalis nods his head.

Simon Kalis: We did it by virtue of talent. So before you rush off to get yourself a crown like mine using RJ Banks' credit, think twice about the choices you've made. I know you've got your own elaborate set up, Zout. But as you can plainly see, anyone with money can make this happen. It doesn't make you a King, and most certainly you shall NEVER be my king, Zout! Because I hereby decree a challenge for next weeks Chaos... That The Order of Chaos, Masakazu and I, challenge the ENTIRE ROYAL COURT! To a GAUNTLET MATCH!

The crowd gasps in shock!

Tear Gutter: A gauntlet match!? The whole Royal Court versus The Order of Chaos!?!? IS HE MAD!?

Jester Jay: Oh my god oh my god oh my god I smell the ratings like a whopper at Burger King baby!

Tear Gutter: My lord! This is insanity!

Kalis smiles and winks towards Ross, who’s feeling irate morose with this interruption of his celebration.

Simon Kalis: I apologize for interrupting your victory parade. Congratulations, you beat up a red neck with the help of six guys.

The Royal Court looks on from the ring, ready to rush the entrance ramp towards Kalis and his bodyguard, The Desert Eagle.

Simon Kalis: You're a *beep*ing legend now, congratulations. Maybe now you can take on a six year old by yourself, you pathetic pompous son of a bitch. *BEEP* The Royal Court! ALL HAIL THE ORDER OF CHAOS! ALL HAIL THE PANTHEON!

Tear Gutter: Mark Zout looks like he's getting ready to speak.

Jester Jay: What the hell does that idiot have to say, and why should we care?

Tear Gutter: What do you have against Mark Zout?

Mark Zout waves to the fans, quite regal in manner. Atop his head already is a dome style purple crown accented with gold trim that runs up from the bottom and meets at the top. Rubies are set within the gold trim. At the base of the crown is a lush trim of snow-white fur. He also wears a magnificently dyed purple robe with the same lush snow-white fur running all the way around the edges of the garment. Held in his left hand is a gold scepter topped with a large ruby stone. Even up the sides of the item are set purple diamonds. While his attire is slightly more modest than Kalis’ it is obvious that nearly every aspect of Markus Ray Zout The First is more modest than Kalis’ attitude. Markus holds his right hand upward, quieting the audience. When he speaks, he speaks into his scepter. Amazingly, it IS a wireless microphone. His tone is calm and holds a hint of nobility to it.

Mark Zout: Kalis, I speak on behalf of all of my subjects when I tell you to kindly shut the hell up.

The fans in attendance erupt is a reign of cheers, bringing a smirk to the lips of their king.

Mark Zout: First off, you barbaric maleficent, you represent not a regal nature, but that of a tyranny. I have never forced my rule over these loyal subjects. No, no. Rather, I have earned their trust and respect by vanquishing those like yourself whom would just as soon assume their position as head of state initializing questionable means to do so - a euphemism. You see, Kalis, you - men like you - are a dime a dozen. You come into the PWA, you ally with the largest power in sight, and you claim to have accomplishments, when in reality all you have done is sneak past your opponents. All you have done is manipulate the rules. All you have done is rely on underhanded tactics that prove all but your worth. The point I am attempting to convey here, Kalis is that you are no more a king than the cowardly lion in the Disney classic Robin Hood. Furthermore, you impotent impostor, the only thing paper I see on that stage is one half of the PWA Tag Team Champions.

The fans cheer with such bravado the arena is engulfed in a deafening roar.

Mark Zout: Even now you stand before mine loyal subjects and demand their allegiance when in all actuality all you have ever done is speak. You have no idea how easy you inherited the PWA Tag Team Titles, do you? You never faced the likes of G.O.D. to gain possession of them, as The Fallen Prince and I had. And you never defeated The Fallen Prince and I for them. Even now you stand with an armed body guard - like the frightful mouse you are. You see, Kalis, you boys haven’t faced a challenge - a real challenge - since the day you walked through the front door. These people are right about you,. You aren’t just a traitor, you’re a coward! And now you request a gauntlet match? Kalis, by mine own royal decree I deny thy request.

The crowd, who had just been cheering at Zout’s comments toward Kalis suddenly sets off in a tantrum of jeers, yet when Mark raises his right hand, they quiet, allowing him to explain himself. They quiet, but the boos are not discontinued.

Jester Jay: You asked what I have against Mark? It’s right there. He’s got NO balls.

Mark Zout: I deny your challenge, Kalis, out of fear. I fear for you and your tag team partner. To put it simply, I doubt you would be able to defeat Litimus Maximus Ross with one arm tied behind his back, let alone the entire Royal Court. I deny your request, Kalis, because I, as YOUR king, have more compassion than to put you through such hell. Instead, you peasant in royal garb, I offer you a counter challenge. Because I know for a fact that you would fail, I suggest you run back along to your little Pantheon friends and recruit some of them for help. I propose to you a Pantheon vs. Royal Court Ten Man Elimination Tag Match. We want your five best members against our five best members in a bout that will go down in history!

The fan’s jeers have turned now into cheers, and the roar only grows as Mark continues to speak over them.

Mark Zout: And if actual competition isn’t salivating enough to you, let’s sweeten the pot, shall we? If the Pantheon fails against The Royal Court; you, with your partner, come down to this ring and you hand us -yourselves - your Tag Team Titles, declaring us the reigning champions. However, if you do somehow manage to defeat us, The Royal Court will pay to you - in cash - one hundred thousand dollars, right there in the center of the ring, in front of everyone watching.

The volume is absolutely deafening. The fact that Zout can be heard even with the aid of a microphone is absolutely uncanny.

Tear Gutter: Unbelievable! For a guy with no balls, he sure just put up a ballsy counter-challenge.

Jester Jay: Yeah, they call that stupidity.

Mark Zout: What says ye, Kalis? Doth thou accept?

Kalis looks around at the crowd, which has become nearly silent in anticipation of Kalis' response. Kalis turns to the left, then turns to the right. He looks at Desert Eagle, who is staring across towards Mark Zout with the "Shall I terminate the hostile?" look in his blue eyes. Kalis nods at Zout, raising the microphone to his mouth.

Simon Kalis: You sir, insult, desecrate and degrade these prestigious tag team titles by equating their value to a monetary relation.

Kalis soaks in the odd amount of cheers, the fickle fans going back and forth between these two superstars.

Simon Kalis: You do deny my challenge, out of fear yes. Out of fear we will embarrass you in front of all of your loyal subjects. The simple fact is, your Majesty.

Kalis spits on the ground as he says this while Zout smirks at the other end.

Simon Kalis: I am contractually obliged to first and foremost defend these titles against a team from Rampage. Whether that is those two Desert Eagle wannabe's or those two Star Trek convention freakzoids, matters not. But my contract is my contract and I must do as it states like any good man.

The fans jeer in disappointment.

Jester Jay: Jesus Christ, these guys cannot settle on a match or what?

Simon Kalis: You see, you've claimed I've had it easy. That I've faced a real challenge in your words, yet, we defeated The Royal Court two weeks ago did we not? Or do Ryan Ross and RJ Banks count as peasants as well?

The crowd errupts into "OHHHHHHH" as they gaze back and forth between Zout and Kalis.

Tear Gutter: The claws are out!

Simon Kalis: And so I say to you, your Majesty, if you would humor me. I suggest a ladder match.

The crowd errupts into cheers at the thought!

Simon Kalis: A ladder match for your crown! And a signed contract, giving the Royal Court the first shot at these titles after the Rampagers get theirs. Because obviously, either Alliance or Revolution will not succeed against The Order. So, if I win? I am officially declared the King of Chaos for one week. Just one week, after that I will return your crown to you. If you win, your court is rewarded with a shot at these illustrious championships.

Kalis lowers the microphone and smiles as the crowd cheers for the idea.

Tear Gutter: This feels like a Middle East peace negotiation.

Jester Jay: Yeah, between the sun and the sand.

Simon Kalis: What say you, your Majesty?

Mark Zout: You did score a victory over The Royal Court, yes. In their first match together. I congratulate you on your victory over a rookie militia - who have since gone on to defeat one of the most difficult teams in PWA, Sean and Shamus. But what says I? I say you’ve taken a few too many bumps to the head. You expect me to put my title as king on the line for a mere possibility of gaining tag-team gold? That’s absolutely preposterous. If you want me one on one in a ladder match, you’ve got it - but you aren’t capturing my title for the collateral of a future tag team title match. Quite simply, if you don’t have the means here and now, don’t place the bet.

The fans react negatively, but Markus doesn’t let it detour him from yet another counter-offer.

Mark Zout: So I’ll tell you what we’ll do. A ladder match, as you suggested, one on one here on Chaos next week. Hanging twenty feet above the ring will be a briefcase. In this briefcase will be two signed contracts. One will be a match for the tag team titles - any stipulations you choose. The other, for the rights to the gimmick of King of the World. If you want my crown, you will take it from my castle - and in doing so suffer the traps and labyrinths of thine walls. In laymen’s terms - a rematch for the rights to my gimmick - not just for a week, but forever.

Tear Gutter: It sounds like a reasonable offer. Both men have what they consider to be of the same value at stake.

Mark Zout: You wanted to raise the stakes? You want my crown? You aren’t going to get better than this. If you can best me next week, one on one, you will have a shot at my crown. If you fall, however, it will be you AND your partner defending your titles. Either way, it will be Good vs. Evil. And either way, these loyal subjects will watch a match they will NEVER forget. Take it, or leave it and let all of these people watching know how cowardly you really are.

Kalis pauses for a moment, scratching his chin and looking around at the flabbergasted audience. Kalis raises his hand and offers a salute, a single finger salute.

Simon Kalis: You've got a deal, you pompous ass.

The fans explode into a chorus of cheers at the acceptance, and Zout waves to all his loyal subjects as Kalis waves to uh, all his loyal subjects?

Jester Jay: This was incredibly confusing, Tear. Offers, counter offers, counter-counter offers. These guys really should be working for our current President in dealing with the Mid-East crisis.

Tear Gutter: Right, because they managed to settle a dispute verbally?

Jester Jay: Oh, no no. Because they managed to set a date for when everything get's to get blown to shit!

Simon Kalis: Oh and Ross? I do apologize for messing up your celebration, I really do. I mean it must have been hard to have six buddies beat the shit out of Bubba J while you pulled the barbs out of your neck from the Trailer Park thing Bubba does, right? So congratulations on proving that it takes the entire Royal Court to win matches. I rest my *beep*ing case.

Kalis throws the microphone away as "Reise, Reise!" hits again. He exits to backstage now.

Ryan: “Damn that Simon, damn you, ruin my celebration. Forget it guys lets just go.”

Ryan kicked the bottom ropes but as he did he saw an oddly dressed fan wrapped in bandages with one mighty move Ryan ran out and slid under the bottom rope. The Royal Court was at the top of the ramp now and most had gone back through the curtain, but Ryan had stayed back at the ring staring at this oddly dressed fan. He moved closer to the fan and to his horror it was Bubba, with a quick motion Bubba erupted out of his folding chair in the front row and turned to grab it. Ryan thinking quickly started to hobble his way back up the ring. Bubba jumped the railing protecting the fans from the action and started for the ring, but just as he rolled in Ryan had rolled out and started walking back up the ramp pointing at his head. Bubba in a rage threw the chair towards the ramp but it fell short of his foe as Ryan turned and walked through the curtain the fans cheered loudly as Bubba picked up the mic.

Bubba: “This isn’t over you little piss ant this isn’t over.”

With that Alcohol hits the P.A. system, and the fans erupt again.

Ronald Gay vs Scottie Snow


Tamara Christopher-Onassi: The following match is set for one fall with a fifteen minute time limit…

The familiar intro of the Pink Panther theme starts to play as the arena lights dim slightly. Scottie ?The Panther? Snow runs out
to the top of the entrance ramp, does a bad kung fu pose, then high tails it to the ring.

"Onward, Christian Soldiers" plays as Gay walks down the ramp handing out pamphlets to fans in the front rows. He enters the ring
and kneels down to pray.

Ding Ding

Joe Irving calls for the bell, and this match is underway. Scottie Snow & Ronald Gay tie up, Ronald Gay takes Scottie Snow down quickly - The Preacher maybe trying to outwrestle the high-flyer tonight. Ronald Gay rides Scottie Snow on the canvas, hooking a front face lock. Scottie Snow tries to punch his way out of that, Ronald Gay grabs the punching arm and changes it up into an arm wrench. But wait, Scottie Snow flips up, out and around and arm drags Ronald Gay ! Ronald Gay quick to his feet, but Scottie Snow hits him with an elbow as he's getting up, and then fires off with forearm shivers! Scottie Snow forearms the Preacher into the ropes and fires him off, then drops low as Ronald Gay runs over top of him, again off the ropes, Ronald Gay leap frogs this time, and...Scottie Snow with a huracanrana! Ronald Gay flies across the ring and Scottie Snow takes a moment to let the crowd know what he thinks about them, which is adoration.

Jester Jay: That was sickening.

Scottie Snow trying to capitalize, but Ronald Gay again, too quick, moves into a rear waist lock, pick-up, backbreaker to the Panther ! Ronald Gay hasn't let go, lifts the high flyer again...and once more drives Scottie Snow back-first into his knee! Ronald Gay with a cover, Joe Irving with the count... only two. Joe Irving seemed pretty on the mark there, no favortism either way. Scottie Snow sent to the corner as Ronald Gay stalks in slowly, oh! What a shot to Scottie Snow's jaw! And now Ronald Gay with the hard CHOPS! Whooo! Whoooo! Scottie Snow fired across the ring hard into the turnbuckle, stumbles out - Ronald Gay catches him with a huge DDT! That's gotta be all, one, two, the Panther gets the shoulder up! Ronald Gay is in complete control of the match, and he's going to try to end it quickly if he can! Full-nelson locked in, dragon suplex coming up - Scottie Snow squirming, he doesn't want to take the Dragon Suplex at ALL - he gets an arm free, Ronald Gay changes things up and decides to go for a Northern Lights Suplex! Scottie Snow reverses into an implant DDT! And now Scottie Snow OFF THE ROPES - LIONSAULT! It gets...TWO!

The Panther rolls outside and pulls Ronald Gay out by the ankles! Joe Irving begins a ten-count, content to let this match end in a count-out. Scottie Snow slams Ronald Gay into the guardrail, firing away with right hands. And now Scottie Snow is on the apron...what's he doing here...OH MY !

ASAI MOONSAULT FROM THE RING APRON! And he got a good piece of Ronald Gay there!

Joe Irving: Three!

The Panther hit it big, and now continuing the assault! Into the ring post goes Ronald Gay , and Scottie Snow with a SUPERKICK! Ronald Gay moves at the last second to avoid getting his head mashed into the post! Scottie Snow avoids kicking the post by inches, but Ronald Gay sees an opening! SUPLEX ON THE OUTSIDE!

Joe Irving: Six!

Scottie Snow sprawled out on the hard concrete floor as the Preacher gets back in the ring. And now Joe Irving restarts the ten count...he will be counting Scottie Snow out!


Tear Gutter: Scottie Snow able to roll himself back into the ring.

Jester Jay: Just barely.

Ronald Gay right back on the attack, and THIS time he connects with the Northern Lights! Joe Irving quick with the count..

One…

Two…

Th---

Scottie Snow somehow gets the shoulder up! Ronald Gay preaches at Joe Irving , "I don't want you heading to Hell.” Joe Irving looks a bit taken aback as Ronald Gay goes back to Scottie Snow, oh there's an eye rake! Scottie Snow lets fly a kick, CAUGHT - ENZIGURI! Is DUCKED by Ronald Gay , he's still got Scottie Snow...who hits a REVERSE enziguri after that! Ronald Gay drops.

Jester Jay: Wrong place and time to have a sermon.

Tear Gutter: You are right, during a match. Every thing has its time and its place, but maybe…

and Scottie Snow...is going to the top rope! The Preacher is on his feet, dazed from that vicious enziguri kick - MISSILE DROPKICK connects! Scottie Snow covers,

One…

Two…

kick-out! Scottie Snow looking mildly frustrated, but the count from Joe Irving was normal! Pick-up by Scottie Snow, bulldog puts Ronald Gay down! And now Scottie Snow is, yes! He's going to the top rope! The Ashes! ....... hits Ronald Gay’s upturned knees.

Jester Jay: And my goodness, Scottie Snow with a picture-perfect Ashes, but the Preacher with the wherewithal to get his knees up to block!

Tear Gutter: I hate to say it, but Scottie Snow's in trouble here! To do a move like that and hit knees --- man!

Scottie Snow writhing around in sheer agony, holding his abdomen. Ronald Gay is picking himself up, certainly worn out, but he's had enough! Ronald Gay picks Scottie Snow up...and yes, he is! It's going to be ... a Gory Special. Scottie Snow is DEAD!

One…

Two…

Thr----

Jester Jay: That was almost three

Tear Gutter: Close call there.

RONALD GAY GRABS Scottie yanking him up onto his feet, Snow looking the worse for wear, but Ronald Gay has had enough of Snow’s stamina! But wait! SCOTTIE SNOW puts up his hands in defense, accidentally hitting Gay in the eyes with his flayling hands. Joe Irving yelling at Scottie Snow as Ronald Gay turns around to see if he can wipe the streaming water from his eyes. Snow hits the ropes as Ronald Gay turns back around and Snow is heading for the Snow Plow! Ronald is able to use Snow’s momentum to send him head first into the canvas with a DDT. Gay quickly picks him up setting him on the top turnbuckle with himself.

Jester Jay: The Final Judgement.

Tear Gutter: I’m afraid it is over for Scottie Snow now.

One…

Two…

Three.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: Winner of the match… Ronald Gay!

The Brotherhood Of...


The excitement of the last match starts to die down when all of a sudden 'Dont You Wish You Were Me' by Fozzy begins to play as an amazingly muscled man with perfectly white teeth and blonde hair walks out.

Tamara: Making his way to the ring, from Boston Massachusetts... OLIVER PRATT!

The well-built man enters the ring and reaches out for a microphone.

Tear Gutter: Wow...look at that spray tan.

"I'm Oliver Pratt, you may not know my name, but you will soon. I am the future PWA Global Champion. I have been a success at everything I have ever done, and that is why this jobber is going right back to the indies where he belongs. I am a success and you all are failures. Choke on it!"

He tosses the microphone asideand watches the entrance ramp when 'Hoodie Ninja' by mc chris begins to play and a very small man with a hoodie and mask covering his features comes sprinting from the back. He slides under the ring rope and stands, raising his arms to a small pop from the audience.

Tamara: From parts unknown...this is the Hoodie Ninja!

Oliver laughs at the little man before the bell finally rings.

Oliver makes quick work of tying up with the Hoodie Ninja, picking him up and powerbombing him, he starts laying into him with stomps.

Jester Jay: That's right, kill that lil bastard!

Oliver turns to play to the audience, when all of a sudden, the Hoodie Ninja rolls out of the ring and then under it. Another hoodie Ninja steps out, and rolls into the ring, he playfully taps Oliver on the back and the audience is losing it!

Tear Gutter; What the-

Oliver turns around and looks a bit surprised to see the Ninja standing. His surprise doesn't last long as the ninja hooks his head and lifts him up, bring him down into a jumping brainbuster!

Jester Jay: Ay ref! That's a diff'rent guy!

Oliver shrugs it off and starts threatening the smaller man with his physique as behind him another Ninja is climbing the turnbuckle. The other ninja rolls out of the ring and points behind Oliver, he turns around only to be levelled with a Shooting Star Dropkick! The audience gives a huge pop!

Oliver rolls out of the ring, holding his head, but another Ninja has popped out of the audience!

This Ninja brings his hand to his side before striking Oliver with a double palm strike to the chest!

Tear Gutter: What the hell is going on!?!?!

Oliver starts to head the other way before another Ninja blocks his path, this one nailing him in the head with a kendo stick.

Oliver looks amazingly panicked and four of the Ninjas gather in the ring. Oliver starts to head to the back, but at least 20 more ninjas start marching towards him! They keep marching, forcing Oliver back into the ring, where four of the other Ninjas await him. he gets on his knees and starts praying to his attackers. The other Ninjas surround the ring, keeping oliver trapped.

Tear Gutter: Seriously. What is going on?

One of the Ninjas in the ring motions for a microphone from one of the ones outside of the ring, he obliges him.

"You were given everything, weren't you? Well all of us here have banded together, because we have nothing. We are sick of being treated like nobodies. I have gathered jobbers from all around the world to join forces, because we know that if we can make The Phoenix, or Matthew Engel, or anyone else with a belt in this company feel just a fraction of the hurt we have felt in our lives, then we will all have their gold."

The Ninja talking points at the Ninja across from him and the man takes off his hood and mask. It's former NLS wrestler, Spyke Gein.

"Whether it be this man, a man who has undergone years of abuse and has been rendered thoroughly insane by it. A man who Rebel Pro deemed 'not good enough'. This man is Spyke Gein, and he is a failure. And you know what? That's okay"

Spyke nods and one of the other Ninjas pats him on the back.

"or this man"

The Head Ninja points to another of the masked men, who takes off his mask. It's Gary Maverick.

"Gary Maverick, the Royal Court keeps you around to do their A.V. work. You are a geek! You have never known a womans touch. You have attempted to make your presence known and all it has gotten you is scorn. Gary Maverick, you are a failure, and that is okay."

Spyke gives Gary a playful noogie as the 'Hes a virgin!' chants begin.

The head ninja points at the next in line, who takes off his mask to reveal Diego Vega, The Andalusian.

"Diego. You have spent your whole life on a fruitless failure to find the man who killed your father. You are one of the most talented memers of the Rampage roster, yet you are continually booked against gimmicky trash like the Crimson Ghost. Your time to shine haas constantly esaped your grasp. Diego Vega... you are a failure."

Diego just nods, no emotion on his face.

"And me"

The head Ninja takes off his hoodie and tears off his mask. It's Johnny Maverick!

"I am the God of Failure. The few singles titles I got out of pity I never successfully defended even once. My trainers have cast me aside, my father has disowned me, and I'm homeless. I lost the Grizzly Beer Title after 11 days to some Chex mix-hawking crybaby named Matt Stone."

Jester Jay: That crybaby whupped yer ass, Johnny!

Tear Gutter: Shut up Jay. Johnny'll get his rematch.

"I am Johnny Maverick. I am a failure. And that's okay. But you know who else is a failure? This guy right here."

Johnny points to Oliver before nodding to Gary, who takes out a toy lightsaber and cracks it over the skull of Oliver. Oliver turns, the blow hasn't done much, but then Oliver gets nailed with a devastating roundhouse kick from Spyke! Spyke shouts out "NORRIS'D!"

Oliver falls to the ground and the other Ninjas wait patiently for him to stand, when he finally does, the Andalusian nails the three punch-throw combo known as the Conquistador! Johnny smirks playfully before helping Oliver up and quickly levelling him with the A.B.M.!

Johnny looks down at the broken body of Oliver Pratt before taking off his hoodie and covering him with it like a blanket.

"Welcome to the Brotherhood."

Johnny drops the mic and motions for his Ninjas to leave, when oliver comes to he puts on the hoodie and follows his new leader...

We cut to commercial.

Rematch?


"Alcohol" by the Dropkick Murphys blares to life as the crowd fills the PWA Dome with a mixed reaction to the man walking down to the ring with a purpose. Noticeably missing is his bottle of Jack Daniels, but maybe most noticeably is the scars from his most recent hardcore match against Ryan Ross. He doesn't slap any hands, but instead grabs a microphone from Tamara Christopher-Onassi. He looks to the crowd before stepping up the steps and through the ropes.

Hitting the corner nearest the steps, he throws both fisted hands into the air before hitting the other corner and doing the same. The crowd is eating this attention up, but he still has a grim smile plastered on his face.

"Cut the damn music."

He speaks in a bit of a gruff voice, but it is close to his normal voice, no trace of him drinking yet today.

"I'm gonna get right down to the point of my little visit here."

The crowd hushes.

"I'm going to say that yeah I lost, but Ryan Ross didn't beat me."

He shakes his head.

"Nope that sumbitch had to get his little ass clowns to come down and help his punk ass out."

Bubba J actually shows a bit of a smile.

"But I do give him props though, he hit my own move against me, his own version of the Nut Sack Whack."

He laughs, a barking sound.

"I give it to him, humiliate me right back Ross. I can see that I'm doing right in teaching you. I can see that you are learning despite yourself."

He stops smiling, getting extremely serious.

"But I can also tell you've got a long way to go. You talked about wanting to beat me. You talked about how if you beat me you'd be top dog here in this Chaos yard."

Bubba J is holding onto the top rope, his right hand with the microphone and his left holding the rope.

"One f*bleep*king problem though Ross, you ain't defeated me yet. Sure you got the W in your column, but your ass clowns is what beat me."

He laughs again.

"I'm good, but not that good."

He smiles again, a knowing smile.

"See, I want another match with you and the perfect opportunity is at Good vs Evil."

He begins pacing the side of the ring that faces the entrance ramp.

"As I see it, Rampage doesn't have a match signed for this pay per view yet. As I see it Chaos doesn't either. As I see it, I want a match against you. So... as I see it, if you got the nuts to come down here or if Joe BoXeR has got the nuts to make it official. I say we got a match at Good vs Evil."

He paces back again.

"So what do you say Ryan? You got the nuts? You got the balls? You got anything to bring to the table?"

He waits, looking up the ramp.

"Tell ya what I'll do, I'm impatient tonight, I'll even go this far. I'll let your ass clowns soften me up a bit for this match. I'll take two of them on each week until the pay per view rolls around."

Pacing again, he is getting very agitated.

"You can pick my two opponents from your little gayble... I mean stable."

The crowd laughs, but Bubba J looks af he really didn't mean to say "gayble."

"What do you say Ryan? Do you accept my challenge for Good vs Evil? What do you say Joe? Are you going to make him fight me at the ppv?"

Bubba J is motionless as he stares up the ramp.

"But one more thing, so that none of them can enter the match... I want one thing."

He smiles.

"No Battle Dome, no Texas Deathmatch, I want a barbed wire cage match. No interference, bring your weapons, but Ryan... be sure to bring all of your reserve cause... I'm going to kick your ass. If the match is acceptable... I am going to kick your ass. If'n it ain't... I'm going to kick your ass until it is."

He yells.

"Come on one of you back there, make a damn decision already, I want to know something here tonight before I leave this damn ring!"

He stares.

"I've never had any problems with you Joe, but I've got a problem with one of your stars back there and I want him in a match no matter the cost."

Blood has started dripping from a wound in his forehead from the tension in his face and the anger boiling out of his body. Suddenly, "The Empire Strikes First" by Bad Religion hits the sound system. Joe BoXeR comes out in his signature black suit, and has a microphone in his hand. The crowd goes crazy for their GM, and he tries to calm them down.

Joe BoXeR: Oh Bubba... I gotta admit, I enjoyed your match thoroughly last Sunday. No matter who won, you and Ross exemplified the kind of passion and talent Chaos is all about. As far as I'm concerned? We are the superior show. And here's why. Due to Chamelion's ever-growing intelligence, he has most if not all of Good versus Evil booked... but it just hasn't been revealed yet. That's why, on November 18th, you and Ross are going to fight in Chaos' main event.

You want the Barbed Wired Cage match? You got it. I'm going to make this happen for you Bubba, because I know how much it stings about Sunday. And you know me, you know I like to keep things fair. So while you and Ross both gave everything you had in that match, me.. and the fans especially, felt we were a little cheated.

The crowd goes crazy again, and Bubba's grin is ear to ear.

Joe BoXeR: It's not gonna happen at Good versus Evil, and I apologize for that, but you and Ross will share the main event spotlight on November 18th in a Barbed Wired Cage match. That's a promise, Bubba!

Tear Gutter: It seems we got our main event set for the Chaos before Good versus Evil!

Jester Jay: I kinda feel bad for Ross...

Tear Gutter: No you don't.

"Empire Strikes First" hits the sound system as Joe walks backstage. Bubba soon follows, very content with the news.

Joshua Danielson vs RJ Banks


Tamara Christopher-Onassi: The following match is set for one fall with a twenty minute time limit…

The pounding drums to 'Trust' by Megadeth hits the speakers, and the crowd is on their feet! Joshua Danielson pushed through the curtains and stopped at the top of the entrance ramp, throwing his arms out in an open handed crucifix.

Joshua then went down the ramp, slapping the hands of the fans at ringside before sliding into the ring and jumping up to the second turnbuckle. He did the open handed crucifix pose again, before hopping down and waiting for the match to begin.

"Available" from Flo-Rida and Akon starts playing as we see RJ coming out of the curtain, wearing his signature black sweater with
the letters "RJ" embroidered in the back with a shiny fabric, the same color as his pants, and his sunglasses. He turns back, pointing at the shiny letters on his back with his thumbs before turning back by the crowd and get to one knee. He extends his arms from each sides, confident smile on his face as the crowd was sending him a negative reaction, but he didn't seem to bother about that.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: Making his way to the ring, from Beverly Hills, California, weighting in at 205 pounds: R... J... BANKS!

RJ makes his way to the ring, not even looking at the crowd. He climbs on the apron and gets to the middle of it. He takes off his sweater and fakes to throw it to the crowd. Instead, he just drops it to his feet for someone to grab it. He gets inside the ring, where he climbs on the first and second rope, bouncing while he raises his fist in the air. He gets off the ropes and goes in his corner.

Ding Ding

RJ Banks is just unloading on Joshua Danielson , clearly wanting to dominate early. The Preacher is pounding on Joshua Danielson , right into the ropes, the referee wants a break --- RJ Banks sends Joshua Danielson out with
an irish whip! Dropkick right in the mush sends Joshua Danielson to the mat. The follow-up --- rolling senton splash! That hits, one, two, Joshua Danielson kicks out and
rolls outside the ring! Joshua Danielson is grinning wildly, but he seems to need a second to collect himself outside the ring...

Jester Jay: Not much to speak about so far, a bit boring actually.

Tear Gutter: Yeah, but that Joshua Danielson is one fine mamma jamma.

he's not going to get that second! RJ BANKS ! Launches himself over the top rope down to the concrete below! Joshua Danielson gets wiped out, and RJ Banks yelling
"The Royal Court is domination personified!" He looks out to the fans, who both cheer and boo him on, and whips Joshua Danielson into the barricade! Joshua Danielson rolls back into the ring,
trying to get away here, and RJ Banks gets on the ring apron and SLINGSHOTS himself onto Joshua Danielson with a plancha! RJ Banks grabs a leg, ONE, TWO, almost
got him!

Jester Jay: Give it to Banks, he does what he says.

Tear Gutter: RJ Banks continuing the offense here, Joshua Danielson sent right into the turnbuckle! RJ BANKS ---oh my! Joshua Danielson side-stepped the splash! There's
a neckbreaker! Joshua Danielson 's going to work on that injured neck of RJ Banks 's!

You are SOOO right, Tear Gutter, because Joshua Danielson is grimacing painfully at RJ Banks , holding his neck in pain after that counter-neckbreaker. Joshua Danielson hits
the ropes as RJ Banks begins rising...catching him with a spinning heel kick to the back of the head and neck as soon as he's up! And now Joshua Danielson drives
the elbow into RJ Banks 's neck, again, and again, and again! Arms out, he swirls in the ring and crowd lets him know how they feel about him! Which is
to say, they like him! RJ Banks is up, Joshua Danielson with a snap-mare to take him down...RJ Banks in a sitting position... Joshua Danielson with a running flip
over top of RJ Banks , SNAPPING the neck down! Shades of Mr. Perfect! And RJ Banks , RJ Banks is in a world of hurt here, that now injured neck the
target for Joshua Danielson to sadistically work over. Oh my, dropkick to the back of the head from Joshua Danielson now! There's a cover! One, two, RJ Banks gets a shoulder
up!

Jester Jay: That was a mistake, Banks, you shoulda stayed down and saved your neck!

Tear Gutter: Like him or not, Banks is a fighter.

Joshua Danielson pulls RJ Banks up, and almost casually DROPS him with the Inverted DDT! ONE, TWO, TH---RJ Banks somehow finding the strength to kick out. He's holding his neck though, clearly in intense pain! Clearly enjoying himself is Joshua Danielson . And there's another neckbreaker! RJ Banks is face-down on the canvas, holding his neck...and what's Joshua Danielson doing here? Joshua Danielson just stepped through the ropes, he's on the ring apron...slingshot Leg Drop! Right across the back of RJ Banks 's neck! That's gotta be all! ONE! TWO! TH---Banks GETS THE SHOULDER UP! Joshua Danielson slaps the mat in frustration, but then...he points above his head, mimicking a light bulb. Apparently he's got an idea. Joshua Danielson pulls a struggling RJ Banks
up, hits a knee lift to subdue the man. Irish Whip sends RJ Banks to the ropes, rebound, LOW BRIDGE! Joshua Danielson pulled the top rope down on as RJ Banks came back! RJ Banks goes all the way out to the floor! The referee starting the count, but Joshua Danielson ...Joshua Danielson just knocked the timekeeper off of his seat! He's got the chair! RJ Banks is somehow pulling himself up by the ring apron, but he's about to get his block knocked off! The referee is yelling at Joshua Danielson to put it down, but the warning is not heeded! JOSHUA DANIELSON SWINGS --- RJ Banks ducks!

Joshua Danielson NAILS the ringpost! He's stunned! RJ Banks from behind with a dropkick sends Joshua Danielson into the ringpost! And now, RJ Banks trying to ignore the pain, but he clobbers Joshua Danielson and rolls him back into the ring! RJ Banks climbing to the top rope! He's going up top, pointing to the sky... FROG SPLASH! THE COVER! ONE! TWO! TH---NO! Joshua Danielson kicked out! RJ Banks with a look of agony mingled with despair on his face, frustration and pain! He picks Joshua Danielson up and sends him into the turnbuckle, wait, that's reversed to the opposite direction! Oh my! RJ Banks just collided with the referee! RJ Banks looking at the ref, trying to help him up --- never turn your back on Joshua Danielson ! Joshua Danielson ...kicks RJ Banks in the butt? The heck? Joshua Danielson scuttles out of the ring, and RJ Banks has had enough with this man! RJ BANKS GRABS HIM BY THE HAIR! RJ Banks leaning through the middle rope with a handful of hair OH NO! CHAIRSHOT TO THE FACE! Joshua Danielson had that chair in his hands, and he just clobbered RJ Banks with it! RJ Banks is down and out, Joshua Danielson ...to the top rope! Is it? It is a flipping leg drop across his throat. Joshua Danielson pulls him up to a vertical base ! before getting him in an electric chair position.

Joshua Danielson nails The Punishment, he holds it for a pin.

One… Two… Three.

Ding! Ding!

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: Winner of the match… Joshua Danielson!

Jester Jay: I can say this for Joshua, he earned this one.

Tear Gutter: A good hard fought battle between both men.

The Truth about Halloween


"Onward Christian Soldiers" plays as Ronald Gay walks down to the ring. He takes a mic and stands in the center on the ring.

Jester Jay: Oh what the hell does he want now?

Tear Gutter: Listen and find out.

Ronald Gay: Thank you friends for that warm greeting. You may be wondering what I'm doing back out here. No I'm not here to wrestle another match, though I certainly have the strength to go another round. Actually, I'm here to address something I feel is very important. As you all know, we are but 3 days away from Halloween.

The crowd cheers.

Ronald Gay: Yeah I know you are all excited. But let me tell you, that day is not all fun and games. There is a much darker truth to Halloween then you may think. That is why I'm going to show this short film to you all. Please try to watch with an open mind. Roll it!

The lights darken as the film starts up on the tron.

We open outside of a haunted house where three men are talking.

Man #1: Gee Jake, this looks like a great place to have a Halloween party.

Jake: Damn right, all the cool kids are gonna come here. And I'm gonna scare them to death.

Man #2: Wait a minute, wasn't someone killed here last Halloween?

Jake: I don't know? I never heard anything about that.

Man #2: Yeah, I heard that some guy leered some teenagers here last year and then brutally murdered them all.

Jake: Damn, I hope that doesn't keep people from coming to the party.

Man#1: Well who knows, maybe it will attract people. They want to be scared, and what's scarier than a place where people were actually killed?

Jake: See, this is what I like about you, you're always an optimist. But I got a little something planned, that will make the night even more "special".

Man #1: What is it?

Jake: Well if you can keep a secret, I'll let you know.

Man #1: Of course I can Jake. So can Dave.

Man #2 (Dave): Yeah, spill it.

Jake: Alright, well at midnight, we're going to sacrifice a cat to Satan. Pretty awesome way to end a party, huh?

Dave: That's sick! And it's also illegal.

Jake: Hey you better keep your mouth shut Dave! If you ruin this, I'll sacrifice you too!

Man #1: Jake?

Jake: Ha ha, I'm just messin' with you guys. I ain't gonna sacrifice nothin'. Well I got plenty of work to do, so you better get out of my way.

Jake walks back to the house. The camera pulls back and we get a view of the trees across the street. There appears to be a figure watching the scene from behind a tree.

We cut to the Halloween party. The room is full and the party-goers are dancing to "scary" music. There is a table with a covering that has a pentagram on it. A figure in a black cloak approaches the table carrying a black cat.

Cloaked woman: Oh mighty Satan, we sacrifice this cat to you, on your birthday.

Dave: Wait a minute! You said you weren't going to sacrifice anything.

Jake: I said I wouldn't, and I'm not. Now Marney on the other hand, she will be sacrificing this cat to the dark lord. Do it!

As Marney takes a knife and tries to hold down the kitty, a crashing noise is heard. The crowd looks to see a masked figure holding a machete.

Marney: Oh my God! It's the guy who killed all those teens last year!

Dave: This is all your fault Jake:

Jake: (sarcastically) Oh no you guys, run for your lives.

The screen does dark, as the sounds of screaming and slashing are heard.

We cut to the killer walking over piles of dead bodies as he searches for any remaining survivors. He manages to see a teen girl escaping out the window. He jumps out and gives chase. She manages to run to a local church where she bangs on the door.

The door opens and she runs in.

Girl: He's after me! He's got a machete and he's trying to kill me!

She looks at the preacher, who is portrayed by none other than Ronald Gay.

Preacher: It's alright, you're in the house of God now. We've got a higher power watching over us.

The killer tries to break down the door.

Girl: Oh no, he's gonna get in and kill us!. What are we gonna do?!

Preacher: We need to get on our knees and pray to the almighty for his mercy.

They get on their knees and start praying. The killer breaks down the door.

Girl: Nooo!

Killer: Ha ha ha, praying won't save you now!

Preacher: That's where you're wrong. As the good book says: "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Killer: Resist the devil? You can't resist me!

Girl: Wait a minute, you're the -

Killer: Devil? Indeed.

He removes the mask revealing his red face and horns.

Killer: And now it's time to take two more victims.

Preacher: The Lord rebukes you, Satan!

Satan: Shut up!

Preacher: Jesus died for my sins. I accept him as my personal savior. Therefore, you can't touch me.

Satan: Maybe not, but your friend is all mine.

Girl: Oh no! He's gonna get me!

Preacher: Listen to me. You need to ask God to forgive your sins. Now!

Girl: God, please forgive my sins.

Preacher: Accept Jesus Christ's perfect sacrifice, and accept him as your personal savior.

Satan: Shut up!

Girl: I accept Jesus' perfect sacrifice, and make him my personal savior.

Satan: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

The devil runs off.

Girl: I can believe that was really the devil.

Preacher: Believe it...what's your name?

Girl: Sophie.

Preacher: Believe it Sophie. Satan is very real. He was created in heaven and his name was Lucifer. He was a beautiful creature who guarded God's throne. After he rebelled, he was kicked out of heaven. The Lord Jesus Christ created a lake of fire to hold him for all eternity. He wants all of us to suffer down there with him. Unfortunately, he'll get most of us. Halloween is just one of his many tricks. People think that this day is all fun and games, but in fact it is the most solemn ceremony of the year to witches and satanists. Halloween started in the British Isles with the druids. On the night they called Samhain, the druids went house to house looking for victims for human sacrifice. In exchange, they left a jack-o-lantern by the victim's door, which would supposedly protect the home from death demons that night. God hates Samhain, or as it's known today, Halloween. Satanic human sacrifices are a mockery of the Lord's perfect sacrifice for our sins. The devil uses every trick he knows to keep us ignorant of that simple truth. He loves Halloween, because it glamorizes the occult and draws children into its grasp. As they becomes teenagers, they become increasingly involved in witchcraft. But regardless of whether people do get involved in satanism, the fact is that unless they accept Jesus Christ as their savior, they will be joining Satan in the lake of fire for all eternity.

Sophie: Wow, I never realized how bad Halloween is.

Preacher: Well now you know the truth.

He looks up at the camera.

Preacher: Now you all know the truth.

The movie ends, and the light comes up.

Ronald Gay: Well I hope you enjoyed the movie. More importantly, I hope you now understand why Halloween is not simply a harmless event for kids. Please reconsider participating in that Satanic ceremony. There are plenty of good Christian alternatives, and I have listed some suggestions on my website.

Jester Jay: Yeah, I'll be sure to check that out.

Ronald Gay: Thank you all for letting me speak my mind. God bless you, and you all bless God.

Tear Gutter: Well whether or not you agree with him, it's good that we allow him to express himself.

Jester Jay: I think it's important that I express myself as well.

Tear Gutter: Don't touch me pervert!

Jester Jay: Ow! Damn, you know you like it.

Rise Up


The drums and guitars of Metalingus fills the arena and the crowd gets to it's feet. The Phoenix comes out, limping and with his left arm in a sling. He's dressed much more casually than we're used to seeing him in a Gringo Star t-shirt, blue jeans, and Converse All Stars and the Global title belt around his waist. His face is equal parts amusement and surprise to the crowd's reaction. He limps his way to the ring and takes long enough that the crowd gets to hear the entirety of his new entrance music and then it starts all over again. Phoenix climbs the ring steps and gingerly climbs between the ropes to enter the ring.

Phoenix: You know, I've gotta say, I like the Battle Dome matches a whole lot better when I'm still in the cage at the end of it. But even so, as you can see, I didn't exactly escape without a scratch. So, my hat's off to Hunter Sullivan. That guy put me through hell for the last month and he capped it off with the most brutal match I've ever been involved in. But at the end of the night, only one person could walk away with the belt.

Phoenix: All things considered, I'm ready to move on past Hunter Sullivan. That's taken up the last five months of my life and new challenges await. I came to Chaos to put this show on the map and that objective hasn't changed. And now that I'm wearing this belt around my waist, I've got even more pressure to make that happen. But that's fine with me.

Phoenix: Now, I know you all want to get back to the action and I clearly won't be providing any of that tonight. I just came out here to show the rest of Chaos and especially the Pantheon that no matter what they do, they can't destroy the Phoenix. With the Global title around my waist, we're going to show Rampage that we're not a B show, that the real talent is right here on Wednesday nights!

The crowd cheers as the Phoenix makes his way out of the ring and back stage.

Mark Zout vs Jacob Figgins


Tear Gutter: Our next match is a best out of three falls match between some of Chaos' great talent, Jacob Figgins and Mark Zout.

Jester Jay: This is a return match for Zout, since we haven't seen him in action since his unsuccessful World Championship bout with Matthew Engel.

Slow ominous guitar notes hit the pa as the lights throughout the venue dim. It isn't until the first vocals of the song that a figure in a red hooded jacket appears. The hood is up and hiding facial features.

"Welcome to the abandoned land
Come on in child, take my hand
Here there's no work or play
Only one bill to pay
There's just five words to say
As you go down, down, down"

Tamara Christopher Onassi: Making his way to the ring...

Upon the sound of a laugh the figure begins to walk down the ramp ,turning his head left and right and throws the hood off his head. To Reveal Jacob Figgins.

"You're Gonna Burn in Hell!!
Oh Burn Hell"

Figgins jumps onto the Barricade to slap hands with a few of the fans before jumping up on the next one

Tamara Christopher Onassi: He weighs in tonight at 245 pounds and hails from Kansas City, Missouri.

"You can't believe all the things i've done wrong in my life
Without even trying i've lived on the edge of a knife
Well, i've played with fire, but i don't want to get myself burned
To thine own self be true, so i think that it's time for a turn"

Jacob finaly makes it down to the ring, jogging up the stairs into the ring and slides in between the ropes.

Tamara Christopher Onassi: He is the "Next Conspiracy" JACOB FIIIGINNNNS

Jacob drops to his knees, extending his arms outward, staring to the cieling. He hops back to his feet, awaiting the bout to start.

Tamara Christopher Onassi: Representing Seattle, Washington; he stands at five feet, ten inches, and weighs in tonight at two hundred five pounds…

My pain filled drama queen
Is always creeping at your bed,
Getting ready to buy you out.
'Cause we all know what goes around comes around. You should have known what I was all about.
Do not test me.

At the end of these words emerges the nephew of The Powerhouse, sporting a new platinum blonde look.

'Cause I'm the fucking king of the world
Get on your knees
I'm the fucking king of the world
Do as I please
So get up or get out and I'll show you
What it means to control you
'Cause I'm the fucking king of the world.

Tamara Christopher Onassi: The ‘King of the World,’ Mark Zout!

Zout passes by several Markz on his way down to the ring looking to slap his hand, jeering and sneering at them instead, resulting in tremendous boos to reign down on him.

When he reaches the ring he ascends the steel steps nearest himself and wipes his white DC Courts on the apron before stepping between the top and middle ropes. His silver shorts glimmer under the lights as he moves atop the second turnbuckle opposite his opponent. He raises his index finger, pointing to the crowd, and is met with a sea of disapproval. In retaliation, he crosses one arm in front of his torso and and raises the other violently so the inside of his elbow slaps his forearm and curves upward in a fist. He then spits toward the crowd before hopping down.

DING DING!

Zout and Figgins circle each other in the ring. Figgins moves in and tries to wrap Zout up, but Zout breaks away and nails Figgins with a forearm to the head. Zout shoves Figgins into the corner and then dropkicks him. Figgins leans back in the corner from the impact and then Zout tries a corner splash, but Figgins moves out of the way just in time. Zout bounces back from the corner splash and Figgins wraps up Zout from behind with a german suplex. Huge impact as Zout crashes to the mat. Figgins gets Zout to his feet and grabs him by the head and connects with punishing knee strikes. Figgins wraps Zout up in a front facelock and then plants him into the mat with a DDT. Figgins tries for a cover...

1...

2...

Kick out!

Tear Gutter: We almost had our first fall there. Remember, this is a best of three series!

Jester Jay: I know that Gutter.

Figgins gets Zout to his feet and nails him with an elbow. Figgins sends Zout into the ropes and Zout bounces back. Figgins bends over to lift Zout up, but Zout flips over Figgins and rolls Figgins up in a pin!

1...

2...

3!!!!

DING DING!!!!

Tamara Christopher Onassi: The winner of the first fall, Mark Zout!

Jester Jay: What the...

Tear Gutter: Figgins still must be rusty?

Jester Jay: Well, either way, both men get a thirty second break here before round two starts.

Figgins can't believe what just happened. Zout shrugs his shoulders, jogging in one place in the ring. Figgins backs up into his corner and shakes his head. We can see a flow of anger surge through his body as the thirty seconds comes to an end.

DING DING!!!!

Zout comes out flying and nails Figgins with a flying forearm smash. Figgins falls to the mat and Zout gets him up to his feet. Zout gives Figgins a big time chop to the chest.

Crowd: WHOO!

Zout whips Figgins into the ropes and Zout tries for a dropkick, but Figgins stops on a dime and barely dodges Zout. Zout crashes to the mat but tries to get up immediately. Figgins swarms in and nails Zout with a right punch. Figgins goes left to right, hitting Zout with all the might he can muster. He throws in some knee strikes to Zout's stomach and chest for good measure. Figgins hip tosses Zout to the mat. Zout goes into the ropes and moonsaults off the second rope. He connects and covers.

1...

2...

Kick out!

Jester Jay: Zout kicks out right after two, showing that Royal Resilience we all grew to love.

Tear Gutter: Isn't this Zout's first official match on Chaos?

Jester Jay: Shut up Gutter!

Figgins gets Zout to his feet and slams him into the turnbuckle. Zout bounces backwards and Figgins takes him down with a roundhouse kick. Figgins puts Zout in a dragon sleeper hold!

Tear Gutter: Figgins locks in that dragon sleeper and now Zout is struggling here!

Jester Jay: He should avoid the damage and just tap out, he'll have another chance!

Tear Gutter: He's not a wuss, Jay!

Jester Jay: Zout is trying to fight for the ropes, but it's not working. Figgins power is keeping him from getting anywhere, and Zout is starting to feel the affects of the dragon sleeper...

Zout falls to a calming demeanor, and referee Joe Irving picks up his arm. It falls.

Ref: 1!

Figgins is tightening the hold, and Joe Irving picks up Zout's arm again.

Ref: 2!

Figgins is yelling out for Joe to do it again.

Tear Gutter: One more time and Figgins wins this fall!

Jester Jay: Good God... Zout looks unconscious!

Joe Irving picks up Zout's arm again, and it drops.

Ref: 3!!!!

DING DING!

Tamara Christopher Onassi: The winner of the second fall, Jacob Figgins!

Jacob lets go of the hold and Zout falls all the way to the mat. Zout turns on his belly and tries to grasp for air. He remembers the thirty second break and rolls to the outside. The fans give him a piece of their mind, but he ignores them trying to recuperate for the next battle.

Tear Gutter: And Zout takes to the outside to get some fresh air.

Jester Jay: I don't know about 'fresh', Gutter.

The referee tells Zout to get back into the ring as thirty seconds comes to an end. Zout gives the ref the finger, but enters the ring anyway.

DING DING!

Figgins runs at Zout, but Zout ducks and pivots, nailing Figgins in the back with a dropkick! The impact sends Figgins chest-first into the turnbuckles.

Tear Gutter: Zout calls that Sleepless in Seattle.

Jester Jay: I bet Tom Hanks collects royalties every time he does that move.

Tear Gutter: Or Meg Ryan.

Jester Jay: Oh don't get me started, Gutter. Tom Hanks carried that movie.

Zout gets to his feet and drives his knee into Figgin's back multiple times. He slams Figgins head-first into the turnbuckle. Figgins backs out of the corner and Zout springboards to the top turnbuckle. Facing the ring, he jumps off and lands on Figgins' shoulders and immediately executes a hurricanrana.

Tear Gutter: What a hurricanrana by Zout!

Jester Jay: Of course, Gutter. No one does a hurricanrana like the King of the World.

Zout gets up to his feet and stomps away at the Fallen God. Zout goes into the ropes and comes back with an elevated leg drop across the throat of Figgins. Zout gets Figgins to his feet and nails him with forearm smashes. Zout tries to whip Figgins into the ropes, but Figgins reverses and Zout goes into the ropes. Zout comes back and ducks underneath a clothesline from Figgins. Zout leaps around Figgins', doing a 360 catching Figgins' by the head and slamming him face-first into the mat with a DDT.

Jester Jay: What a reversal by the King!

Zout covers.

1...

2...

Kick out!

Jester Jay: Come on!!

Figgins tries to get to a knee, but Zout nails him with a brutal kick to the head. Figgins falls to the mat. Zout puts Figgins in a figure four leglock!

Tear Gutter: Zout has got Figgins in a deadly figure four!

Jester Jay: That's right Jacob! Tap out!

Figgins is squirming in pain and Zout is relishing the moment. However, Figgins manages to battle back and eventually grabs ahold of the bottom rope.

Ref: Break the hold, Zout!

Zout finally breaks the hold after a three count. Zout gets to his feet and stomps on Figgins. He gets Figgins up to his feet and nails him with an european uppercut. He tries to slam Figgins into the turnbuckle but Figgins blocks it, nailing Zout with an elbow to the stomach and then slamming him face-first into the turnbuckle!

Tear Gutter: Desperation move by Figgins there, he needed to get out of that.

Jester Jay: That was luck Gutter.

Figgins picks Zout up and hits a big sidewalk slam on him. Figgins covers.

1...

2...

Kick out!

Tear Gutter: Zout kicks out barely there, showing a little fatigue.

Jester Jay: No way.

Figgins gets Zout to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Spinebuster! Zout grabs his back in pain. Figgins goes into the ropes and comes down with a kneedrop over Zout's head. Figgins gets Zout to his feet and nails him in the stomach. Figgins goes into the ropes but Zout sprints forward and nails Figgins in the temple with a flying punch! Figgins falls to the mat and Zout climbs to the top rope.

Jester Jay: PACIFIC PLUNGE!

Zout connects, and then covers.

1...

2...

3!!!!

DING DING DING!

Tamara Christopher Onassi: The winner of the third fall and this match... MARK ZOUT!!!

Jester Jay: Whoo! The King is back!

Tear Gutter: Get real, Jay. This match could have gone either way.

This. Is. CHAOS!


We're backstage now, where it seems the details for the main event between Simon Kalis and Joe BoXeR are being finalized. For there the two men sit again, at yet another round table surrounded by their respective legal teams.

Simon Kalis: So here we are, yet again... Mr. BoXeR.

Kalis grumbles under his breath, having being duped into accepting the term he must refer to the Chaos GM by his formal name from now on or face a $1000 fine. BoXeR, meanwhile, smirks at Kalis' frustration.

Joe BoXeR: Another contract, which I'm sure you haven't even read.

Simon Kalis: Oh yes sir, I actually have read this one. It's quite interesting it is.

Joe BoXeR: A simple match contract. Which begs the question why our legal teams are even involved.

Simon Kalis: Well, did you read this contract?

BoXeR smirks and signs the contract, sliding it over to Kalis. Yet BoXeR's legal team suddenly appears very nervous.

Simon Kalis: So you read it? You actually agree to the stipulations I had added?

Kalis signs the contract with a huge grin.

Joe BoXeR: Stipulation added? What stipulation?

BoXeR looks oddly at his legal team as Kalis slides the legally binding document back over to him.

Simon Kalis: Oh you know, the one where it clearly states that if I win this match I am to be declared the new General Manager of the Chaos brand.

Joe BoXeR shakes his head with a smile.

Joe BoXeR: Bullshit.

He looks down and begins to sift through the pages until he ends up at the second to last one, when his eyes widen.

Joe BoXeR: This is some joke, right?

BoXeR takes a deep breath and stares at Kalis, who himself is trying to hold back his laughter.

Simon Kalis: That's right, Mr. BoXeR. When you lose tonight? You not only lose a match...

Kalis leans in closer, a dark grin over his face.

Simon Kalis: You lose. Period.

Kalis leans back in his seat, barely able to restrain his laughter as he experiences bursts of school child giggles with glee at the situation.

Simon Kalis: 'Cause after tonight, "sir", I will be the new boss over all of Chaos. The real "king" if you will. And there isn't a damn thing you can do about it now.

Joe BoXeR: I can beat you.

Simon Kalis: You're much smarter than that Mr. BoXeR. Perhaps you should have realized you were *beep*ing with a master of the art of war. You know, deception and what have you.

Kalis gets up and dusts himself off.

Simon Kalis: Now, if you'll excuse me gentlemen, I believe I have a match coming up. With a whole roster preparing themselves for the new reign of power over Chaos.

Kalis winks at the fuming Joe BoXeR, who infact does a good job of hiding his emotion. Yet it begs the assumption he must be seething inside from this double cross.

Simon Kalis: Oh and don't worry, you'll still have a job under me Mr. BoXeR. I'll just have you shine The Order's tag titles, and our boots.

Kalis winks as he tightens the bandana around his forehead and walks out of the room, quickly followed by his nodding lawyers.

Tear Gutter: There is no way in hell Kalis is winning tonight.

Jester Jay: Yeah but... Tear... Kalis losing is like you winning the lottery. That's how often it happens.

Tear Gutter: Then Joe BoXeR has to win the a million dollars tonight. Crap.

Jester Jay: Hahaha! ALL HAIL THE-

Tear Gutter: Oh shut up, you fanboy!

Simon Kalis vs Joe BoXeR


Tamara Christopher-Onassi: Introducing!

The opening rifts to "Reise, Reise!" by Rammstein begin to blare of the PA system as the skull and bones insignia of The Order of Chaos appears over the PWATron.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: He weighs in at 210 pounds and stands in at exactly 6 feet tall...

Suddenly, Simon Kalis somberly steps out from behind the curtains to be met with the chorus of boos he's become accustomed to. He is decked out in black and gray military urban warfare camoflauge for his pants, tucked into his black military style boots. He has a black wifebeater underneath the similar black and gray military urban warfare camoflauge which has the Order of Chaos insignia over the back with the words "The Order of Chaos" in an arch above the insignia, and his name, "Simon Kalis" in an arch underneath it. His PWA Tag team title is strapped to his waist and he now looks out into the crowd with a dead look in his face, absolutely no emotion before lowering his head.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: He hails from Los Angeles, California by way of Montréal, Québec Canada...

He unstraps his title and holds it by the strap in his hand.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: He is one half of your PWA Tag Team Champions!

Kalis now raises the title into the air, keeping his head lowered.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: He is... The Cult Hero! SIMON KALIS!

The fans continue to boo as Kalis slings the title over his shoulder and makes his way to the ring, ignoring the booing and heckling fans as he does so. He hops up onto the apron and enters the ring, somberly sauntering towards the center of the ring where he hands the referee his title to be placed at ringside. Kalis takes off the military jacket and wifebeater, throwing both, which have been autographed, into the crowd to a fan who catches the articles of clothing. Kalis cracks his neck to either side and slinks down in one of the corners, lowering his head and placing his forearms on his knees as he sits in a near fetal position awaiting the match to commence.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: And his opponent, hailing from Milwaukee, Wisconsin...

"The Empire Strikes First" by Bad Religion cues up on the sound system. The heavy guitar and bass pulsate throughout the arena. Then --

WE STRIKE FIRST
AND WE'RE UNREHEARSED
HERE WE GO AGAIN TO STAGE THE GREATEST SHOW ON HEAVEN AND EARTH
COME ON GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH

Joe BoXeR appears from backstage to a standing ovation. He raises his right arm to the fans in recognition. He's sporting a classic look. He has wrestling tights that extend to a few inches above the knee and they are split into two colors. The right side is red, with the word "JOE" in black. The left side is black, with the word "BOXER" in red. He has on black wrestling boots with red bottoms. He begins to make his way to the ring.

DON'T WANNA LIVE (CAN'T LIVE)
DON'T WANNA GIVE (CAN'T GIVE)
DON'T WANNA BE (CAN'T BE)

Fans: E-M-P-I-R-E!

Tear Gutter: Quite a reaction from the fans here!
jester Jay: Unless you're the Pantheon, you can't dislike Joe BoXeR. He's a legend and has always been a fan favorite.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: He weighs in tonight at two hundred and sixty one pounds... and stands six feet five inches...

Jester Jay: Joe put on a few pounds, Jon.

Tear Gutter: Yes he did, he's probably been training ever since he got into PWA, Brian. Even as a General Manager, you've got to stay in shape.

Joe BoXeR makes his way to the ring. He climbs in and keeps his attention on Duff.

Tamara Christopher-Onassi: He is the Chaos General Manager... Joe BoXeR!!!!

The ref goes over a few ground rules for the match. He then signals for the bell.

DING DING!

Kalis gives Joe a sadistic grin. Joe walks over to Kalis and they share some words. BoXeR towers over Kalis, and Kalis gives him a shove.

Crowd: BOOO!

BoXeR shoves Kalis back and Kalis goes flying into the ropes. Kalis holds his chest for a moment and then slides out of the ring.

Tear Gutter: It seems Kalis has underestimated Joe's strength!

Jester Jay: Joe needs to worry about Kalis' striking and aerial, because Kalis won't get into a muscle contest with him.

Kalis gets back into the ring and Joe tells him to bring it. Kalis moves in and Joe swings, but Kalis ducks and nails Joe in the gut with a sharp punch. Kalis uppercuts Joe and then dropkicks him right in the chest. Joe staggers back and then Kalis tries for a spinning heel kick, but Joe catches him in mid-air and gives him a vicious back-breaker. Joe goes into the ropes and comes down with a snap leg-drop over Kalis' throat. Joe covers.

1...

Kick out!

Tear Gutter: Kalis kicks out early.

Jester Jay: What dumb timing, trying to pin Kalis.. it's way too early.

Tear Gutter: Joe thought he could surprise him.

Joe picks Kalis up to his feet and nails him with a stalling brainbuster. Joe gets to his feet and stomps Kalis a few times and then goes into the ropes. Joe tries for an elevated elbow drop but Kalis moves out of the way. Kalis kicks Joe in the ribs a few times and then connnects with his head. Joe tries to get to his feet, but Kalis nails him in the face with a knee. Joe falls to the mat. Kalis goes into the ropes and comes back, nailing Joe with a baseball slide. Joe gets knocked underneath the ropes and out of the ring. Joe tries to get to his feet, but Kalis launches himself over the top rope and crashes on Joe, taking him down to the ground. Kalis gets up and kicks Joe relentlessly in the gut. Kalis picks Joe up and throws him into the ringpost, Joe connects with his head! Kalis grabs Joe by the head and slams him into the steel steps!

Tear Gutter: Our GM is in trouble, Jay!

Jester Jay: I don't care! Kalis is winning! He is the true ruler of Chaos and when he beats Joe he will get the power!

Kalis tries to DDT Joe onto the floor, but Joe reverses and tosses Kalis over his shoulders. Kalis lands on the barricade!

Tear Gutter: OUCH! That's gotta hurt!

Kalis bounces off the barricade and falls to the floor. Joe picks Kalis up and throws him into the ring. Joe climbs up to the apron and onto the top rope.

Tear Gutter: I think the boss is going for The BoX Office!

Jester Jay: His old column?

Tear Gutter: No, idiot! His finishing move!

Joe gets to the top rope, but Kalis is on to him and knocks out Joe's feeting. Joe lands groin-first on the top turnbuckle. Kalis climbs to the second rope and beats down Joe with some hard punches. Kalis superplexes Joe off the top rope!!

Jester Jay: YES! What amazing strength from Kalis!

Tear Gutter: I can't believe that! Joe has got at least fifty pounds on him!

Jester Jay: Kalis is God, Gutter!

Kalis gets to his feet, but slides out of the ring. He requests a microphone.

Simon Kalis: You're not bad for an old man, Mr. BoXeR, but this dog and pony show is over. I don't need to be GM to rule over Chaos, and I'm going to show you just how rough the bite to my bark is.

Kalis drops the microphone and looks for something underneath the ring. He takes out a baseball bat that has the words "DESERT EAGLE" inscribed in it.

Jester Jay: Yes! Kalis, show him who's boss!

Tear Gutter: Oh come on... the GM wanted a fair fight!

Kalis slides in the ring and gets into a swinging stance. Joe gets up to his feet and turns around. Kalis swings, but Joe ducks! Joe comes up behind Kalis, locking Kalis into a rear waistlock as he tucks his head under Kalis" left arm. He then lifts Kalis up off of the mat before turning to the side and dropping to the mat, letting Kalis land head-first on the canvas.

Tear Gutter: The Great Bazaar! That's a move the PWA hasn't seen in quite awhile!

Joe covers...

1...

2...

Thr -- NO! Kalis has his foot on the ropes!

Jester Jay: Not today, Gutter! Kalis knew exactly where he was in the ring, took that hit from Joe, and kept himself alive.

Tear Gutter: Haha... okay, whatever you say.

Joe gets up to his feet and sees the bat. He picks it up and Kalis is just getting to a knee.

Joe BoXeR: I DON'T NEED THIS KALIS!

Joe tosses the bat out of the ring and the crowd goes crazy for their GM. Joe runs at Kalis, and Kalis rises to his feet. Kalis charges as well, and they hit each other at the same time and then collide into one another!

Tear Gutter: Good God... they're both knocked out!

Jester Jay: That was a train wreck! Kalis isn't a big guy, but...

Tear Gutter: Wait! Wait! Kalis has got brass knucks on! That's how he knocked out Joe BoXeR!

The referee doesn't see the brass knucks on Kalis as his hand is nearly tucked away underneath his body, but Tear Gutter doesn't miss it because she has an affinity for Kalis' body. Ref Joe Irving begins the count.

Joe Irving: 1!

Joe Irving: 2!

Joe Irving: 3!

Joe Irving: 4!

Joe Irving: 5!

Jester Jay: Still no movement!? Come on Kalis!

Tear Gutter: The Chaos GM is bleeding, Jay. Show some respect.

Joe Irving: 8!

Joe Irving: 9!

Joe Irving: 10!

DING DING DING!

Tamara Christopher Onassi: Due to a double count-out, this match is a DRAW!

Masakazu and Desert Eagle come down to the ring to assit Kalis. BoXeR finally comes to, and rolls out of the ring. His forehead is bleeding, and he requests a microphone. Meanwhile, Desert Eagle and Masa are getting their leader out of the ring.

Joe BoXeR: This isn't over, Simon! I am not going anywhere!

The crowd cheers for Joe BoXeR as a dazed Kalis is helped backstage.

Tear Gutter: Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll see you next week!

(C) PWA 2009